


We Were(n't) Meant to Be

by LucindaRemyJohnson



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Eventual Romance, F/M, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-31
Updated: 2018-08-31
Packaged: 2019-07-05 03:09:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 26
Words: 97,578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15855012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LucindaRemyJohnson/pseuds/LucindaRemyJohnson
Summary: What happens when feelings between an unexpected pair escalate to something neither one expected? Will they handle the backlash together, or will they decide that they just weren't meant to be? **Prequel to A Moment in Time : This is the start of Hermione and Draco's story, so you can see where it all began.**





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This work is also posted to my FF account.

_Platform 9 and 3/4ths was buzzing with activity, and for good reason. It was the first day back to Hogwarts since the war. There were new First years, some of whom were clinging to their parents - and others who were trying to get away from them. Second, Third, and Fourth years were mostly all on the train already, talking and catching up with their friends. Fifth and Sixth years were a bit more somber, understanding more fully the realities of the war and how lucky they were to be coming back, and then there were the Seventh/Eighth years who had either participated in the war and knew of all the deaths and bloodshed that had happened, or had lost someone who had been in the war. They weren't terribly depressed, at least not the majority of them, and at least not visibly, but there was an air of seriousness with them that didn't cloud the minds of the younger students._

_Ronald and Ginny Weasley stood by their parents Molly and Arthur, talking quietly while they waited on Harry and Hermione._

_It had been extremely hard for the Weasley's to get past the death of Fred, and George took it especially hard, but with the help and support of his family was doing better. Molly and Arthur, of course, still mourned the death of their son, but painted on bright and smiling faces for Ron's last year of school. They were very proud of him for making the decision to come back, because that hadn't been his first choice. If it hadn't been for Harry, Ginny, and most importantly Hermione, he never would have gone back. He had wanted to jump right into being an Auror, like he and Harry had discussed before the war. George had talked to him, but hadn't really pushed him in any type of direction. He had more or less just said that he understood his reasons for not wanting to go back, and that he wouldn't think any less of him if he didn't. In the end he had been proud that Ron did decide to go back though._

_Ginny was sad at Fred's death, and at the strain it had put on her family, but she didn't like to dwell on the negative thoughts. She was always positive, and most of the time it elicited a positive reaction from others. Her positivity, though nice, did backfire at times. Many people had thought that the war hadn't affected her, when that couldn't have been farther from the truth. Those first few weeks after had been hell for her, and she hadn't uttered a single word to anyone - regardless of what they had tried to do or say to her. After a while though, she decided that Fred wouldn't have wanted her to be depressed all the time, so she turned to being positive, and becoming, for lack of a better term, like Luna. Nothing really bothered her anymore, she was never upset, and always calm. Harry thought - no, knew - that it was only a matter of time before she finally let out her feelings. But she definitely wasn't the only one._

_Harry was doing as well as could be expected. He enjoyed the rush of being a war hero as much as the next wizard would, but it got to be tiring after a while to not be able to step foot outside his house without having a slew of reporters shoving cameras in his face. He and Ginny still remained a couple, and that was one thing that really did bring Harry a genuine joy - aside from the company of Hermione and Ron of course. He had stayed with Hermione quite often, not at her parents home, but just hanging out. He knew that she was lying when she forced that smile onto her face and said she was doing "perfectly fine, Harry". But he didn't mention it, just like she didn't mention when he escaped for a few hours every week to go and visit the memorial for Sirius. These were things that the war had created, that were not to be mentioned._

_Hermione was okay. Well as okay as one could expect of someone who had lost both of her parents to war crimes. As much as she claimed that she was fine, she wasn't. The nightmares that haunted her dreams made it almost impossible for her to get a restful night of sleep, and made it even more impossible for her to forget the devastation that the loss had caused her. She'd spent the summer cleaning out her old house, figuring out what to do with all of her parents things, selling the house - everything had been left to her anyway. She had handled all these tasks with a deep breath and a smile - and alone. She had politely declined Harry and Ron's offer for help, saying that it was something she needed to do by herself. Now that she was back at Platform 9 and 3/4ths, she felt that she could breathe a bit easier. Because this was familiar. This was still in her "Good Memories" box._

* * *

_**HPOV** _

"Oh Hermione, don't you look all grown up!" cooed Molly when she saw my new appearance.

The war had brought about a positive for me, and that was that I'd finally decided to dress up my features. My usually frizzy and unruly mass of hair hung in neat chestnut colored ringlet curls that framed my face, and my usually frumpy clothes were replaced by a black pencil skirt, a white blouse, and a pair of modest black heels, covered by a stylish jacket and teal blue scarf. The new dress code that was afforded to us by Hogwarts would suit me well this year.

I smiled, "Thank you,"

Ron and Harry hadn't seen me for a month, so they had no idea that I'd decided on a makeover, and it was obvious they were very impressed - Ron more so than Harry.

"Well look at you Mione." said Harry, giving me a hug.

Ron was about to do the same when Ginny flung herself into my arms first. I chuckled and hugged her back, "It's good to see you too Gin."

Ron rolled his eyes and hugged me, his hand a bit lower than Harry's had been, but it didn't bother me.

"I'm glad you decided to come back Ron."

He nodded, "I'm glad I decided to come back too."

Molly and Arthur were telling Ron how he had better be getting good grades this year, and I took the moment to let my eyes wander around the platform to watch all the other families wishing their children a safe trip. I pushed back the feeling of jealousy and continued looking around. That's when my eyes landed on a certain blonde haired family that no one really knew what to make of.

The Malfoy's.

They had changed sides during the war, and the fact that they'd let the Order use Malfoy Manor as an operations base was probably the only reason they weren't all sitting in Azkaban. Certain people didn't want anything to do with the them, but they'd paid for rebuilding Hogwarts, and therefore Malfoy was allowed to come back. It seemed as though many people weren't all too excepting of him - not that this surprised me.

It wasn't that I hated Malfoy, because I didn't. He'd helped us during the war to defeat Voldemort and that's all I'd wanted to accomplish. I just didn't know what to think of him.

Just then I saw Pansy Parkinson join him and his parents, and slip into an easy conversation with them. To anyone else it would have looked like they were still on top of world, completely uncaring of anybody's opinion, but that wasn't the case. They were all nervous, and I could tell.

I trailed my eyes over a few more families - parents hugging their children - before my eyes skimmed over Draco again, but this time he caught my eye.

He simply nodded, and I nodded back politely before turning around to return to the Weasley's conversation.

* * *

_**DPOV** _

I was more than a little impressed by Hermione's new wardrobe. She looked...good. Better than most of the stupid bints running around here.

"Draco, are you listening to me?" asked my mother, following my line of vision. I could tell she was surprised to find it was Granger who had captured my attention - but only slightly.

I nodded, "Yes mother, I heard you. Low profile."

My father scoffed, "Low profile. You're a Malfoy, you continue doing what you've been doing."

I just nodded absently, not agreeing or disagreeing with him. Pansy just stood there, used to this from my family already.

My mother pulled me into a hug, squeezing me as if she'd never see me again, and whispered for only me to hear, "I love you."

She released me after that, and departed with my father, leaving me and Pansy standing alone on the platform, not saying anything.

Pansy's parents had been thrown in Azkaban for their crimes, but a few people had testified on her behalf, and since she was a minor, had been spared the same sentence.

"I guess we should board the train then." I said after a moment.

Pansy nodded and we disappeared into the throng of children also climbing on board.

* * *

_Hermione, Ron, Harry, and Ginny waved goodbye to Molly and Arthur and did the same, taking their regular seats on the hectic train. They talked animatedly the entire ride, until they got off the train and onto the carriages. It seemed to dawn on them that they would be facing the place where many of their friends had died, and no one - not even Ginny - seemed to want to say anything._

* * *

_**HPOV** _

When the students all walked up the stairs to Hogwarts it was easy to see that the younger students were excited. They ran ahead of the older kids, laughing and joking with each other - much like me and my friends had done on our first day.

The Seventh/Eighth years walked slower than everyone else, even Draco and Pansy's pace had slowed. We were all taking in the sight of the newly rebuilt castle, and trying to decipher our emotions, or at least that's what it was for me.

"Well I think it looks lovely." said Ginny, taking Harry's hand and pulling him forward, but not before he grabbed Ron's sleeve and yanked him along as well.

I smiled at their antics and shook my head. I looked up at the massive building in front of me, and I wanted to move forward, but something seemed to be stopping me. I'd wanted to come back more than anyone to finish my education, but I also hadn't expected it to be this difficult for me.

I closed my eyes and tried to shut out the images, reasoning that the war was over, and there was no reason to still be having these episodes. With a determined set to my brow I walked forward and up the stairs into Hogwarts.

When I entered the Great Hall it was just as crazy as I had remembered it the year before and the year before that.

Everyone was bustling around, the First years nervously looking around waiting to find out which House they would be in, and everyone else at their respective tables.

As I maneuvered around the Great Hall to my usual table, I took in all the familiar - and unfamiliar - faces, and smiled. This was a new year. It would be a good year.

I sat down and noticed that Harry and Ron were already talking Quidditch, while Ginny sat and listened. I shook my head and chuckled, giving as much to the conversation as I could - which wasn't much to be honest. I wasn't a great big fan of Quidditch like everyone else was.

"Welcome!"

The Great Hall immediately quieted at the voice of Minerva McGonagall, the Headmistress.

She smiled brightly and said, "We would like to welcome you all to a new year here at Hogwarts."

She paused and everyone clapped and cheered. This would have been the time when the Weasley twins came out with some new explosive or firework to entertain everyone with, but of course that didn't happen anymore.

"We hope not to dwell on the sadness of the previous months, but on the happiness that we now have, even if some of those we love cannot be here to share this moment with us."

A few students, including me, Harry, and Ron, shot brightly colored sparks from our wands in tribute, before the Headmistress continued.

"We would all like to wish everyone a very, very happy school year. And with that, let us begin with the sorting!"

One by one every First year found out which House he or she would be in, and before I knew it, everyone had been sorted.

"Well there we have it, now let us enjoy the feast!"

At her words mountains of food appeared on the tables, with Pumpkin juice and various different teas. Ron and Harry immediately dug in, but Ginny and I just stared for a moment. Make no mistake, we had always had plenty of food, but it seemed that this year they had gone above and beyond anything they'd ever done before.

With a shared glance between the both of us we smiled and dug in, talking and enjoying one another's company like we usually did.

* * *

_**DPOV** _

It was strange to be back here again, sitting at the same table with Pansy, Blaise, Theo, and Goyle. I'd had to endure Goyle's endless blubbering about the loss of Crabbe, and I couldn't really make myself care.

Nothing really mattered. I just wanted to be done with this entire bloody school year. We'd only been here a few hours and everyone's stares were already grating on my nerves.

"What do you think Malfoy?"

I turned and looked to Blaise and raised an eyebrow. He knew I hadn't heard him.

"Who do you think will get Head Girl and Head Boy?"

"Granger and some Ravenclaw no doubt." I said with a shrug.

What did I care who the fuck got the stupid title?

"Told you so," he said to Pansy.

She simply rolled her eyes and went back to her food. Blaise and Theo were talking about Quidditch and asking if I was still going to play.

"Of course I'm going to play. We need to beat Gryffindor at least one time before we graduate."

Blaise and Theo laughed, "And we will. This is the year."

Whether or not I really believed that I wasn't too sure, but there was no way I was giving up my position as Seeker.

Pansy had started talking about something to do with shoes or dances and I immediately zoned out, turning my attention to the rest of the Great Hall. They all sat, talking and laughing with each other.

It was strange to see the Great Hall like this, when just months before almost the entire building had been in ruins.

I let my eyes wander around and they landed on Granger. She was sitting next to Weasley facing me. I don't know what my feelings were towards her, honestly.

I didn't hate her.

I didn't think her blood was dirty, I'd seen that when she'd bled during the war. _Red._ Just like mine.

But I didn't particularly _like_ her either. She was still best friends with Potter and Weasley, and she was a know-it-all, which was almost equally annoying.

But I couldn't deny the fact that she did look pretty fucking good with her new clothes.

I'd seen her often during the war, and she hadn't looked that bad then either, but no one had looked particularly good, so maybe it's just that everyone else looked more awful - the thought alone was hard to believe.

I didn't know. And I didn't really care. It didn't mean anything. Our past was far too complicated for our relationship to go any farther than a few nods.

And that didn't bother me either, because I had no idea what to say to her in the first place. I mean what do you say to someone you've tormented for the majority of their childhood?

"Attention everyone!" called McGonagall, silencing everyone with a look.

"I almost forgot, we have to announce Prefects and Head Girl and Head Boy."

Everyone clapped in excitement, even though to me it was obvious who was getting what roles.

"For Prefects we have...Harry Potter, Luna Lovegood, Parvati Patil, Padma Patil, Cho Chang, Blaise Zabini, and Theodore Nott."

There were a few confused claps at the mention of Blaise and Theo, not that that was a surprise. Blaise and Theo looked pleased with themselves, probably because they wouldn't have to deal with curfew like everyone else.

"Oh shut up," snapped Pansy, a sour look on her face.

I smirked, "That's alright, you can always hang out with me."

She blushed and turned away from me, but that didn't bring me the usual satisfaction I was accustomed to. It was just too _easy._

"And now, Head Girl...Hermione Granger,"

The Great Hall erupted into claps and cheers while Granger sat with a small smile on her face and a light tint to her cheeks.

"And Head Boy...Draco Malfoy."

You have got to be fucking _kidding_ me.


	2. Chapter 2

**DPOV**

I didn't know what the hell to think about being Head Boy, but I didn't really have time _to_ think about it, because after everyone else had left the Great Hall, McGonagall was showing Granger and I to our rooms.

"Your password is 'ignis et glacies'."

I rolled my eyes at the obvious dig at how different the two of us were. Fire and Ice. Great.

I chanced a glance at Granger, and she had a small smirk on her face. She must have known what the words meant as well. Not that that surprised me.

"Now I know that the two of you have had your differences, but I've chosen the two of you because you are the best students, and I believe that you two will be able to strengthen House unity."

I didn't say anything, but Granger nodded.

"Of course. We're both adults."

And we were. That was probably why the idea of living in such close proximity to her didn't bother me like it would have a few years ago.

McGonagall nodded and said, "Very well then, I'll leave you two to settle in."

And with that she was gone, and I was left alone with Granger.

She shrugged and said, "Ignis et glacies."

The portrait door swung open and for a second we both just stood there.

"Ladies first," I said, breaking the silence.

She looked over at me for the first time since we'd nodded at each other on the platform, and said, "Thank you."

Was it bad that I noticed there was a slight blush to her cheeks?

I shook my head and followed her inside, closing the portrait behind me.

The common room was pretty big, compared to the Slytherin common room anyway. I was just glad it wasn't red, green, gold, and silver, because if I had to deal with seeing Christmas colors everyday I think I'd lose my mind.

Granger looked around the room, before sliding out of her jacket and draping it over the back of one of the chairs.

Damn, she had some nice legs. Who would have thought?

I flicked my wand and the fireplace roared to life. When I turned back to where Granger had last been, she was gone, but I heard her in the kitchen.

I shook my head and walked towards the stairs that led up to our rooms, but before I made it too far, I heard her voice.

"Would you like me to make you a cup of tea?"

I frowned and walked back into the kitchen, leaning against the door frame, "What?"

She turned around and studied me for a moment, her toffee colored eyes trailing across my features. I would've come up with some type of crude comment, but I could tell she was doing it on purpose to bother me.

"I asked if you'd like for me to make you a cup of tea." she said finally, turning away from me.

"Why?"

"Because I have manners."

"Oh, that's why you haven't said two words to me before now."

"If I hadn't said anything we still wouldn't have been talking, so shove it Malfoy. And make your own tea." she snapped, walking past me.

I heard her walk upstairs and shut her door behind her.

I rolled my eyes.

Stupid bint, always overreacting.

* * *

**HPOV**

Malfoy was such a git, it was hard to believe he'd helped us fight Voldemort at all. And why I'd tried to be polite to him in the first place was beyond me. I mean he was _Malfoy_ for Merlin's sake.

People didn't change that much.

After I'd unpacked everything I ventured back downstairs, thankful that Malfoy was nowhere to be seen. I walked over to the book shelf and picked out a book, curling up on the couch in front of the fireplace.

I must have dozed off, because when I woke up I heard people talking.

"No, I'm unpacking. I can't right now."

"Oh come on Drakey, I'm so _bored_."

I rolled my eyes. It was Pansy. I was about to move off the couch when Draco started talking again.

"Pansy, not right now. Granger's asleep on the couch."

I could almost imagine the look on Pansy's face when she said, "What do you care?"

I'd had enough, and stood up, tossing the book onto the table before saying, "Oh no, don't let me ruin your fun. I was just leaving anyway."

"See, she knows where she's not wanted." said Pansy, that stupid smug expression on her face.

"Oh sod off pug face." I said, pushing past her and slamming the portrait behind me.

I could already see how this school year was going to go. Malfoy was going to be bringing over stupid slags, no doubt to shag, and I would be stuck dealing with their attitudes.

I ran a hand through my hair and put my jacket on, heading outside to the lake to meet up with Harry, Ginny, and Ron.

"Hey Mione, we're glad you're here." said Ron.

I sat down next to him and asked, "Why?"

"You're sharing a common room with Malfoy. We were worried."

I rolled my eyes, "Don't worry about it. He's a royal prick, but he isn't going to do anything."

This seemed to placate Ron, and he leaned back, looking up at the sky.

"So what's it like?" asked Ginny, leaning closer to me.

I raised an eyebrow, "What's what like?"

"Living with Malfoy?"

I rolled my eyes, "I woke up to Pansy at the door. That's what it's like."

Ginny made a face, "Ew, you might want to scourgify the couch before you sit down again. You never know what went on up there."

We both laughed and quickly the mood was light, and it was like we didn't have a worry in the world.

This was how I enjoyed it.

* * *

**DPOV**

Shagging with Pansy used to be great. I _know_ that it used to be great. But now I just wanted to take it all back. Everything about her was just too bloody easy.

"Come on, the boys are waiting for us outside."

I sighed, but followed her outside anyway, although I immediately wished I hadn't. Not far from where we were sitting were Granger and her friends.

It shouldn't have irritated me that she was leaning against Weasley, but it did. Which was so fucking stupid considering I'd just shagged Pansy. And I didn't like Granger. It was stupid.

I shook my head and turned away from them, focusing on what Blaise and Theo were saying instead.

"Don't be mad just because you're not a prefect Pans."

Pansy scowled, "Oh shut up."

"You just can't keep up." taunted Blaise.

"Drakey, make them stop." she pouted.

I tried to stop from grimacing.

"Drakey? Did you guys shag again already?" asked Theo, an annoyed look on his face.

"That's none of your -"

"Of course we did -"

I scowled at her, but she didn't seem to notice - or care. I didn't want them to know I'd shagged her again, because I'd said last year that I wasn't going to do it again.

I ran a hand through my hair. I wouldn't sleep with her again. I wouldn't.

I hoped I wouldn't.

Just then we all looked over at the Golden Trio and saw Ron coughing as he came up out of the lake. Granger, Weaslette, and Potter were laughing, but it was Granger's laugh that caught my attention.

It was different. I mean it was still a fucking laugh, but of all the times I'd heard that annoying sound, now it seemed like it was forced.

I shook my head. Why the hell was I so focused on Granger? It was probably just because she was dressing differently, and I'd helped them during the war. Besides I was basically living with her now.

Yeah...that was why. That was the _only_ reason why.

"I'm going to go hang out with Astoria, you guys are boring." said Pansy, standing up and walking over to a group of Slytherin girls and sat down.

"Mate, what the hell?"

I groaned and dropped my head into my hands, "I know,"

"I mean far be it from us to judge you for a shag, but you said it yourself that you wouldn't do this anymore." said Blaise.

"And I won't...it just kind of happen - why the fuck am I explaining myself to you idiots." I said, standing up.

I turned away from them and headed back inside, irritated at myself for more than one reason.

* * *

**HPOV**

By the time I got back to the common room it was well after curfew. I closed the portrait behind me quietly, hoping that Malfoy was asleep upstairs.

When I didn't hear anything I let out a deep breath and decided on a shower. I grabbed a towel and pushed open the door to the bathroom, but what I saw caught me completely off guard.

Malfoy was asleep in the bathtub.

I couldn't help it, I screamed.

"Granger, what the bloody _hell_ are you screaming for?"

I was facing away from him, but turned around, a hand over my eyes, and said, "Maybe you should learn how to lock a bloody door."

I heard him chuckle, and then there was the sound of water splashing against the tile floor.

"You can put your hand down Granger."

I slowly lowered my hand, and saw Malfoy standing in nothing but a white towel, wrapped low on his waist. Was it terrible that I noticed how defined his chest was?

I shook my head, "What the hell were you doing sleeping in the bathtub anyway?"

He rubbed a hand over his face, "I guess I was tired."

I frowned, "I would assume shagging would have that effect on someone."

He smirked and looked over at me.

"What's it to you?"

"Nothing, now get out of the bathroom. I need to take a shower."

"Sure you don't want me to stay?" he asked, arrogant as ever.

I glared at him, "You have five seconds to get out before I hex you."

He smirked, but did as I asked, closing the door behind him.

I quickly stripped out of my clothes and stepped into the shower, loving the feeling of the warm water across my shoulders.

When I stepped out I quickly wrapped a towel around myself and walked over to the mirror. My hair was wet, but already starting to curl around my face. I brushed my teeth and then stuck my head out of the bathroom door, trying to hear if Malfoy was anywhere around.

"I won't look if you don't want me to." drawled a voice from the couch.

I turned and saw him sitting with his feet on the table.

"Do you have to do that?" I asked, ignoring the fact that I was still dripping wet and in a towel.

For a second Malfoy just stared at me, but then he smirked, "Do what?"

"Put your feet on the table. It's rude."

* * *

**DPOV**

Damn it all to hell, but Granger looked bloody _hot_. Even if she was chastising me about my so called lack of manners.

"So? We're the only people here."

"Well _I_ think it's rude." she said, hands on her hips.

I was about to say something when I noticed a water drop slide down her neck and disappear below the towel.

"Ugh, you're such a prick Malfoy." she said, crossing her arms over her chest.

I smirked, but didn't say anything. I had no idea why I was flirting with Granger of all people, but I couldn't deny that it was entertaining to say the least. No matter how much I'd 'changed' I still enjoyed getting underneath her skin.

"Just keep your feet off the table." she said, before heading up the stairs.

"Or what?"

She paused and leaned against the railing, "Does everything that comes out of your mouth have to sound like some sort of sexual innuendo?"

I smirked, "Of course it does. They don't call me the Slytherin Sex God for nothing you innocent little Gryffindor Princess."

She scowled, "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Don't worry you're little head about it Princess."

"You are such a condescending arse."

I just smirked, "Doesn't seem to bother other girls too much."

"Well I'm not other girls, in case you forgot."

"Trust me, you make it really obvious Granger."

"Why? Because I'm the only girl that doesn't want you?" she snapped, walking back down the stairs to stand against the wall.

I rolled my eyes, "Please," I said, standing up and walking closer to her.

"Oh whatever Malfoy."

"I mean you did walk in on me -"

"Because you didn't lock the door!" she argued, but I could see a light pink tint to her cheeks.

I rolled my eyes and walked past her, "Whatever you say Princess."

I couldn't help the smug expression on my face as I walked up the stairs to my bedroom. It had never been this fun to irritate Granger before.

Then again she'd never been standing in a towel when I'd done it, so...

I shook my head and closed my bedroom door behind me.

This was beginning to be a very strange school year.


	3. Chapter 3

**HPOV**

Malfoy had been a particularly big git these past three days, and it was starting to irritate me. I'd come out of the shower just like I'd been doing, but today he said something to me.

"Do you have to come out in that towel everyday? It may not have occurred to you, but I don't _want_ to see you half naked." he snapped.

I just rolled my eyes, "Sounds like somebody hasn't gotten any in a while. Pansy too busy?"

He scowled at me from his spot on the couch and said, "That was a one time thing." He paused, as if debating whether or not he wanted to say anything else. "And I'm sorry about her attitude."

I didn't have a response to that so I just shrugged. I was about to walk upstairs when I remembered something he'd said.

"Oh, as far as the whole 'one time thing', she doesn't seem to think so," he rolled his eyes in irritation, but I continued anyway, "And if you're in this foul of a mood because you haven't, I would rather you went ahead and did it."

He smirked and said, "Well if it bothers you so much Princess, I'm sure you could give me a hand."

I couldn't believe how _rude_ he was, but that didn't stop a stupid blush from rising to my cheeks. I tried to cover it by rolling my eyes and saying, "Malfoy, must you be so crude all the time? And quit calling me Princess."

Over the past three days he'd picked up the ridiculously annoying habit of calling me Princess whenever he spoke to me, only because he knew it got under my skin. The way he said it was just so condescending - ugh he was insufferable.

His smirk widened and he said, "Yes, I do. And no, I think I'll continue."

"Why?"

"Because it makes you uncomfortable." he said smugly.

I scowled, "It does no such thing. And why you would even insinuate me... _helping_ you with your disgusting little problem is -"

"Oh it's far from little -"

I ignored him and kept talking, "Is absolutely absurd."

He raised a perfectly manicured blonde eyebrow at me and asked, "What makes you say that?"

"Say what?"

"That it's absurd."

He looked genuinely confused, which was strange, all things considered.

"Because I'm me." I said simply.

He frowned, "So?"

"What do you mean 'so'? You -" I stopped, closing my mouth and taking a breath. "This is pointless. You're just trying to get under my skin, and it's not going to work Malfoy."

"I don't think so," he said with a smirk. "You're blushing Princess, do I make you nervous?"

I scowled again, I was beginning to get worried that I would get wrinkles early if I continued to spend time with Malfoy. It seemed as if I was _always_ scowling around him.

"You most certainly do not. I've gone up against Death Eaters and Voldemort. You don't scare me." I tried to keep my voice as steady as possible, mostly succeeding.

He stood up from the couch he'd been sitting on and my heartbeat immediately sped up. Why, I had no bloody idea, but it bothered me.

"I think you're lying."

The smug expression on his face was the only reason I didn't show how flustered I really was - _stop it!_ Malfoy does not make me nervous. He is an arse who has no effect on me beyond irritation. _Extreme_ irritation.

"Since when am I supposed to care what you think?" I snapped defensively.

He chuckled, by now he was standing a bit too close, so I stepped back, my back against the bathroom door.

"Whoa, calm down Princess, no need to get your knickers in a twist...then again, you aren't even wearing any right now."

His smile was, I hated to admit, seductive. It was incredibly hard to think straight with him standing so close to me - because of how irritating he was and all - but I feigned indignation and pushed him back.

Was it bad that I noticed how muscled his chest was?

"That is absolutely _none_ of your business. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to get dressed."

"Don't change on my account Granger." he called after me with a smirk.

I ignored him and slammed the door to my room, irritated that I'd let him get to me.

The stupid git.

* * *

**DPOV**

I smirked and sat back down. I had no fucking idea why I enjoyed messing with her, but it was entertaining, and I had no reason to stop. If it bothered her, and I knew it did, I would continue to do it. I always had.

In the past week my mood _was_ more sour than usual, but it had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that I hadn't shagged Pansy.

For some Gods forsaken reason I was _dreaming_ about Granger, so if I had to be completely weirded out, so did she.

And I could deny it all I wanted - and I would - but she _was_ hot, and she was probably the only person I could actually have an intellectual sparring with.

I couldn't deny that I had started an argument with her once or twice just to see her get all riled up, prudish little Gryffindor Princess that she was.

Then again she might not be as prudish as I had first thought, considering she did walk around in tiny little shorts, tight tank tops, and _every bloody day_ she'd come out of the shower in a towel that barely covered her arse.

But it was a nice ars -

 _Stop it._ This is _Granger_ for fuck's sake.

I knew I made her feel _something_ though, because she blushed a considerable deal whenever I said something she considered crude, which was just about everything that came out of my mouth.

I shook my head and stood up, grabbing my bag to head to class. I glanced up the stairs and was about to leave when for some reason I stopped and walked back over to the stairs.

"If you don't hurry up you're going to be late to class."

I heard a muffled curse and then Granger was walking down the stairs, her hair mostly dry, in a red skirt, black heels, and black button down shirt.

Damn it all, but she looked _good_.

"Thanks," she mumbled, picking up her bag from the floor.

"Here," I said, tossing her jacket at her.

She raised an eyebrow at me, as if trying to decide if I was up to something. I don't know what she decided, but she nodded, "Thank you."

I followed her out, closing the portrait behind me. We parted ways without a word, she went left, and I kept going straight.

By the time I got to class _I_ was late, not that I cared too much.

The rest of my day passed in a blur of avoiding Pansy and catching up with "friends"...and the occasional torment of a First year or two.

Hey, I'm still a git, that didn't change.

By the time I got to my last class I was just ready to go and start on the multitude of homework assignments I'd already gotten, but this was the class I had with Gryffindor, and of course I saw Granger next to Potter and Weasley. As usual.

I was good at potions, so I was sure this class was going to be a breeze, but then again class with Granger was never easy.

Just then Pansy sat next to me, "Hey Drakey, I feel like you've been avoiding me."

Merlin, had she always been this irritating?

Probably.

I barely glanced at her and shrugged, "Sorry,"

"Well are you?" she pouted.

I forced myself to look at her, and said, "Pansy, I'm not avoiding you. It's called being in class. You know, that thing you usually skip."

Her mouth dropped open, "What is with you lately? Maybe you just need a good -"

"Can you just relax? It was a _one time thing_ Pans. It's not happening again."

Just then Granger walked past us and Pansy must have seen me look, because she was talking _again._

"You have _got_ to be kidding me. Is _that_ why we haven't been shagging like we did last year? Because of some mud -"

I was instantly struck by two things, one was that Granger had heard what Pansy had said, and second I interrupted Pansy before she could say that _vile,_ _disgusting_ word...and Granger noticed.

"Pansy shut up."

Granger walked back to her seat, but after a moment she turned around and our gazes locked.

"Thank you." she mouthed, before turning back around to talk to Potter and Weasley.

She was thanking me a lot today it seemed.

Pansy, on the other hand, didn't seem to be done talking.

"How dare you tell me to shut up. Since when did you start to stick up for muggles anyway?"

And she had a point, since when _did_ I start sticking up for them?

Maybe when I found out their blood isn't dirty. Maybe when I noticed that the only person capable of besting me academically was a muggle, or maybe just because I finally grew up.

Either way it didn't seem like a bad thing.

Theo and Blaise had gotten over it too. I mean Blaise had even dated a muggle before we'd come back to school.

So why was Pansy the only one who couldn't - or wouldn't - let it go?

* * *

**HPOV**

I was surprised to say the least, and Harry and Ron didn't even believe me when I'd told them.

"Mione, there's no way Malfoy gives a damn about Pansy saying the M word." said Ron.

He hated Malfoy more than Harry did - not that Harry was all too fond of him either.

"He _did_ though. I know what I heard Ron." I said defensively.

"Why are you trying to find any reason to believe he's changed?"

"Why are you trying to find any reason to believe he hasn't?" I challenged.

He grew quiet and Harry said, "Even if he did - and if he did that's great - but what's that supposed to change?"

"It's not supposed to change anything. I was just surprised is all."

Ron snorted, "More like delusional."

"I am not delusional." I snapped, a bit louder than I'd intended. I glared at Ron, and mumbled an apology to Slughorn.

Ron sighed, "I'm sorry Mione."

I rolled my eyes, I never could stay mad at him. "It's alright. And I wouldn't add that ingredient if I were you."

He stopped in his tracks and looked over at me, "Why?"

"Just don't." I said, busy working on my own potion.

Of course I should have known he wouldn't listen to me.

"Ron what are you -" But before Harry could finish, there was a loud bang.

His potion had exploded, and a green puff of smoke had gone right in his face. When the smoke cleared I couldn't hold back the laugh that bubbled out of my throat.

Ron was green.

It took everyone a moment to notice, but when they did they started laughing.

I glanced over at Malfoy and he had a smirk on his face, "Great job Weasel."

"Oh shut up Ferret." snapped Ron.

I had a feeling if he wasn't green he would have been beet red.

"I told you not to do it." I said. I couldn't help the smug 'I-told-you-so' tone I had.

Just then class ended and Malfoy walked by, not even pausing to say, "Maybe you should listen to your friend next time Weasley. Green doesn't suit you."

Ron was too flustered to say anything, and Harry and I were too busy laughing to call Malfoy a git.

"This isn't funny!"

"It's pretty funny from where I'm standing." said Harry, putting a hand on my shoulder and steering me out of the class room, leaving Ron to get cleaned up.

"So what's up with you and Malfoy?"

I was so shocked - and slightly appalled - by the question, that I stopped walking and looked at Harry.

"Are you completely mental? There isn't _anything_ going on."

He nodded, "Alright...good."

"Oh, and Luna sent an Owl saying she would be here tomorrow."

I smiled in excitement, I had grown rather close to her over the past few years, and I couldn't wait for her to get here.

After that he started prattling on about Quidditch, and after I'd walked halfway to Gryffindor Tower with him I waved goodbye and headed up to the Heads Common Room.

* * *

**DPOV**

I was sitting on the couch by the fireplace working on a paper when Granger walked in.

"Hi," she said, tossing her bag on the couch and walking into the kitchen.

"Hi," I said, watching her curiously. She always had the same routine. Come in, drop her stuff, go make tea, sit, do homework, read a book, and pass out on the couch.

When she came back out she sat down across from me, and took out her own homework. For a while we worked in silence, and I'd gotten most of my potions homework done before she spoke.

"Why did you interrupt Pansy?"

I looked over at her, putting an impassive look on my face, "Because she was bothering me."

"That's not what I -"

"Does everything have to be so serious with you?"

She closed her mouth and looked back down at her homework, and I actually felt bad.

"Granger I'm -"

"No you're right." she said with a shrug. She closed her books and slid them back into her bag. I expected her to walk over to the bookshelf and pick up a book, but instead she was walking over to the stairs.

"Where are you going?"

She paused, "What do you care?"

"I don't." I said easily.

She scowled, "Are you always such a git?"

"You didn't think that when you were thanking me."

She walked back down the stairs and stood in front of me, "Because for once you weren't acting like a complete arse. You actually stopped Pansy from calling me a mudblood,"

I flinched at the word, and I hated that she noticed.

She sat down on the same couch I was on, granted she sat as far away from me as possible, but still the same couch.

"Why does it bother you all of a sudden?"

"Because it's a vile word." I said automatically.

"Since when do you think that?" she asked, her eyes wide with curiosity. She looked younger like that, less worried.

"Since the war I guess. I don't know."

I expected her to question me further, her undying need for information making her curious, but she didn't. All she did was nod and stand up.

I thought she was leaving again, but she picked up a book and sat back down on her couch.

For once it seemed like I'd said the _right_ thing to her.

A few hours later I looked up from my own book and saw her sleeping.

I'd never really paid attention to her when she slept the last few times, but this time I decided to study her.

Her hair was different tones of brown and splayed around her face, her long eyelashes created a shadow across her cheeks, her pink lips slightly parted, and her cheeks slightly rosey from the heat.

Had she been anyone else - had we had a different history - I would have dared to call her beautiful. But she wasn't anyone else, and we didn't have a different history.

But damn it all - she _was_ beautiful, in a weirdly natural sort of way. She looked older though, more troubled - but all of us looked like that now.

The war did that to people.

I'd heard her a few times during the night having a bad dream, but I'd never said anything, because I knew she wouldn't want to hear anything that I had to say.

Not that I had anything to say in the first place.

The feelings I had for her were strange, and I couldn't figure them out.

One minute I wanted nothing more than for her to shut up, and the next I was intentionally starting arguments with her.

Not to mention the damn flirting. I really needed to get a grip. This was _Granger_ , and _nothing_ good could come of any type of _anything_ with her.

Despite that I put my book down on the table and walked over to her. At first I was just going to wake her up, but I noticed the dark circles under her eyes and let out a deep breath.

"Fuck,"

I ran a hand through my hair and looked down at her sleeping peacefully - more peacefully than what it sounded like she slept when she was upstairs.

Before I could think about it more I leaned down to pick her up, but the first thing I noticed was that she smelled like strawberries and vanilla - rather intoxicating - and the second thing I noticed was a drawing she'd sketched on a piece of parchment.

It was of Hogwarts during the final battle, how the castle had been practically destroyed. But regardless of how depressing the drawing was, she was a good artist. It was...unexpected.

I shook my head and picked her up, careful not to wake her up.

She felt so...real in comparison to Pansy - and every other girl I'd been with - and I had no fucking idea how I was supposed to react to that.

Granger was soft, and everything about her seemed too delicate to have survived a war, but I knew first hand what she was capable of, and she was anything but weak.

I shook my head, ' _just put her in bed and then go back downstairs you idiot,'_

I pushed open the door and was surprised by the amount of... _emerald_ in the room.

I put her down on the bed, managing to not wake her up, and then took a look around the room.

Granted, there was plenty of red and gold in the room, but the strangest things were emerald green. Like her pillow, a little dragon stuffed animal she had on the bed, a few of the clothes she had strewn across the top of her trunk - it was strange to say the least.

I smirked. Who knew the little witch had a thing for my House colors.

I shook my head and looked at her one more time. She'd turned onto her side and was mumbling something I couldn't quite make out, but I could tell she was probably at the beginnings of a bad dream.

I let out a frustrated groan. Why was I helping her?

Before I could think about it too much I waved my hand and she stopped mumbling, falling into a restful sleep. I'd learned the spell from my mother over the summer when I'd had nightmares.

Before I could do anything else that was stupid I left the room, closing the door behind me.

Instead of walking back downstairs I decided to just follow Grangers lead and go to bed as well. I walked into my bedroom and sat down on the bed, running a hand through my hair.

I didn't know what was going on with me lately, or if it had anything to do with the girl asleep in the other room, but I knew that I needed to get a grip on it - and fast - before I _really_ did something stupid.


	4. Chapter 4

**HPOV**

I woke u the next morning in my bed, the only thing I couldn't figure out was how I'd gotten there. Because the last thing I remembered was being downstairs reading my book.

Had _Malfoy_ put me in bed?

No way. I mean there was no way he would actually touch me...right?

I groaned and sat up, picking up my little stuffed dragon, and clutched it to my chest.

It was the one 'childish' thing my father ever gave me and no - the irony of it being a _green dragon_ was not lost on me.

Surprisingly enough, this had been the first night that I hadn't had a nightmare in the last few months.

Abandoning the thought altogether, I grabbed a towel and headed downstairs to the bathroom with my iPod on.

I pushed open the door and the first thing I noticed was the steam, and the second thing I noticed was a naked Malfoy stepping out of the shower.

I dropped my towel and squealed, and Malfoy jumped, grabbing a towel and wrapping it around his waist.

I saw his mouth moving when I realized I still had my headphones in.

I yanked them out and asked, "What?"

"What the bloody hell are you doing? Couldn't you hear me in here?"

I blushed and shook my head, holding up my iPod.

He raised an eyebrow, "What the fuck is that?"

"An iPod." At the blank look on his face, I elaborated, "It plays music. That's why I couldn't hear you."

He looked genuinely intrigued. "How does it work?"

Without thinking I stepped over to him and handed him one of the headphones, "That goes in your ear like this," I said, demonstrating.

He did the same and I held up the iPod.

"So you can put music on here and -"

"Wait, I thought electronics didn't work here?"

I smirked, "I have my ways. Now," I said, pulling up my song list, "Click on any song you want."

He looked at me from underneath his dripping bangs, before flicking through the songs. Once he found one he liked he clicked it, and a few seconds later it was playing.

His eyes lit up, "What did you say this was called?"

"An iPod."

He chuckled and it was then that I remembered he was half naked and I had walked in on him.

I blushed and took the headphone out, "I'm sorry...again."

He smirked, "If I were you, I'd want to walk in on me too."

I rolled my eyes and stepped back, but he matched my steps until I was back against the door.

"Did you put me in bed yesterday?" I asked, trying to distract him.

He paused, "Yeah...sorry."

I shrugged, "Why? I actually managed to sleep in bed and not wake up with a back ache. So thank you."

* * *

**DPOV**

There was no way I would tell her about the spell I'd cast, but I was glad it had helped.

"No problem." I said, stepping further into her personal space.

The blush that showed up on her cheeks made me smirk, and I finally looked down and noticed what she was wearing. A green tanktop and a pair of black cheer shorts.

 _Fuck,_ why did she have to look so _hot_ in _everything_?

"What are you doing?" she asked, her breath catching.

I twirled a strand of her hair around my finger, surprised by how soft it was.

"Am I making you nervous Princess?"

She blushed even further and shook her head, "N-no,"

I leaned down and whispered in her ear, "I think you're lying to me."

I heard her take in a sharp breath, but since I was so close to her I got distracted by her smell - vanilla and strawberries. It was so uniquely Granger.

"Malfoy, what are you doing?"

I stepped back and smirked, "Having fun."

She opened her mouth to say something, but changed her mind, "How is messing with me fun?"

"Because it's easy to tell that I'm making you nervous." I said smugly.

She pouted and pushed away from the wall, walking over to the shower and turning it on.

"I'm not nervous. I'm irritated that you don't know how to lock a door."

I smirked, "You should have knocked."

"I had my headphones in!"

I chuckled, "Whatever you say Princess."

She scowled, "I'm telling the truth."

I just leaned against the wall and smirked.

She studied me for a minute before letting out a groan, "I need to take a shower."

"So? Don't let me stop you." I said with a smirk.

"Malfoy," she said, clearly exasperated.

I just chuckled. I really didn't expect her to do what happened next.

"Fine," she said with a shrug.

Then she turned away from me and pulled her tanktop over her head, tossing it to the ground.

"Granger, what are you -"

"I told you I need to shower. I'm going to regardless of whether you're here or not." she said, her back still facing me.

She slid out of her shorts next, and I couldn't help but stare at her arse.

I shook my head and turned to open the door, but it wouldn't open.

"Uh, Granger -"

"What?" she asked, spinning around to face me.

For a second I got caught up in how she looked.

Her stomach was flat, and her lacy bra did a fucking fantastic job of showing off her chest.

"Earth to Malfoy, why are you still here?"

"The door won't open."

"What?"

I rolled my eyes, "The. Door. Won't. Open."

She walked over to me and pulled on the handle, but it wouldn't budge. She groaned, "Great, that's just great."

I smirked, "Don't stop on my account."

She scowled and opened her mouth to say something but i interrupted her.

"I won't look."

"There is no way I'm taking a shower with you in here!"

"You said you were going to earlier."

She blushed, "I thought you'd leave if I said that."

"Why?"

"Because you told me before that it bothered you when I walked out in a _towel._ Why the hell would you want to see me naked?"

I could feel my cock twitch at the thought of her naked, and tried to blame it on the fact that she was a girl, and it was just a natural reaction.

"Why wouldn't I?"

"Why wouldn't you what?"

"Want to see you naked." I said with a smirk. I loved how easy it was to make her uncomfortable.

Her blush traveled to the tops of her breasts and she crossed her arms, "Because you don't like me."

I paused. Did I like her? I mean I didn't _not_ like her...which was weird, because I didn't like her earlier. At least I didn't think I liked her earlier.

I groaned internally. If I kept thinking about this it was going to give me a headache.

I shrugged, "Things change."

She raised an eyebrow, "How do you figure?"

"We're both standing in a bathroom half naked."

Out of nowhere she started laughing, and I just looked at her.

"Uh...Granger?"

"I'm sorry," she said, controlling her laughter, "This situation is just ridiculous."

I chuckled, "Yeah, I agree."

We stood in silence for a while before she spoke up, "You won't look?"

For a second I didn't know what she meant, but then I nodded, "No, I won't...maybe a peak." I said with a smirk.

She rolled her eyes and walked back over to the shower, unclasping her bra along the way. I turned around before she dropped it, and faced the wall.

A few seconds later I heard her step into the shower and I turned around, sliding down the wall and tipping my head back so I was looking at the ceiling.

"I didn't know you could draw."

She stuck her head out of the shower and asked, "What?"

"I didn't know you could draw."

She blinked a few times and pulled her head back in, "How did you know I could?"

"I saw it when you fell asleep."

"Oh...well yeah."

"You're pretty good."

I could hear the smile in her voice when she replied, "Thanks, my dad taught me a few years ago."

I don't know what the fuck possessed me to ask her this, but I immediately regretted it, "Is it hard not having them?"

She shut off the water and grabbed her towel before she stepped out.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have -"

"Yeah, it's hard." she said quietly. "Sometimes it's harder, and sometimes it's easier, but it always sucks."

"I'm sorry," I said.

And I was.

She shrugged, "It's okay."

"Is it?"

She looked at me for the first time since she's stepped out of the shower and sighed, "No, I guess not."

"Is that what you have nightmares ab -"

"I don't really want to talk about this." she said quietly.

I nodded, "Alright,"

"You know what I just realized?" she asked with a smile.

I raised an eyebrow, "What?"

"We could have used _alohomora_."

I ran a hand through my hair. Great.

I rolled my eyes and stood up.

"Alohomora,"

The door immediately opened and she chuckled behind me. "Oh well,"

She walked past me and headed upstairs to her room.

I groaned and closed the door again, turning on a cold shower.

Who knew Granger could have any type of effect on me.

I didn't know how I felt about it.

But for right now, the only thing I needed to do was handle this damn problem.

* * *

**HPOV**

I don't know what got into me in that bathroom. I also don't know why I wasn't completely freaking out about it.

The fact that Malfoy asked me about my parents and commented on my drawing was pretty weird too, but it didn't make me uncomfortable.

Well the parents thing made me uncomfortable - but that wasn't necessarily his fault. I didn't talk about it with anyone.

I pushed the thought from my mind and pulled on a pair of jeans and a light blue t-shirt. Luna was coming today, and I hadn't seen her in a while. I was glad it was a Saturday, because I wanted to be able to actually catch up with her, and that'd be hard to do in class.

I grabbed a jacket and walked downstairs, a blush rising to my cheeks when I saw Malfoy in the kitchen. It was weird to think he'd seen me in only a bra and underwear, then again he'd seen me everyday in just a towel.

I tried to push the thought from my mind and walked into the kitchen. I noticed he was making tea, which I didn't think he actually drank.

"Do you want a cup?" he asked.

I was surprised, but then again our relationship had changed a bit since yesterday.

"Uh...yeah - I mean yes. Please."

He smirked and pulled to cups from the cabinet.

"I hear Luna's coming back today."

I nodded, "Yeah, I'm excited."

"I see that." he said, handing me my cup.

We stood in silence for a moment before I said, "So since you asked me a question earlier, can I ask you a question now?"

He raised an eyebrow, clearly unsure, "I guess..."

I wanted to ask him about his parents, but I figured he'd just snap at me, so I asked a different one.

"Why do you keep sleeping with Pansy if you don't like her?"

His eyes widened a bit, and then he smirked, "Is someone jealous?"

"That's not answering my question." I countered.

He sighed, "I don't know, Granger. It just sort of happens."

"I feel like that's bullshit."

He chuckled, "I didn't know Gryffindor's Princess knew how to cuss."

I rolled my eyes, "I'm not _that_ innocent Malfoy."

He raised an eyebrow, "I beg to differ."

"Well by your standards I am innocent, but to other people who _haven't_ slept with the majority of Hogwarts, I'm not -"

"How would you know who I've -"

"Girls talk." I said simply.

He groaned, but I wasn't letting him off that easy.

"Now give me a real reason."

He ran a hand through his hair, "Well, I guess because our parents liked each other, and we'd been best friends, so it was just easy."

"Do they expect you to marry her?"

He shook his head, "No, not her."

I opened my mouth to ask who exactly it was that they were going to be expecting him to marry, but he smirked.

"I think that's enough for now. Don't you have to go meet Luna?"

I looked at the clock and gasped, "Yeah, I'll see you later." I said, "And thanks for the tea!"

I sprinted down the stairs, all the while thinking about how he'd said that I'd asked enough questions 'for now'. Did that mean he'd let me ask more later? Did that mean he'd ask _me_ more later?

I didn't have time to think about it, because as soon as I stepped outside Luna threw herself at me.

"Hermione!"

I laughed and hugged her back, "I missed you."

"I missed you too." she said pulling back.

"Oh, you look so pretty." she said, her typical serene smile on her face.

"So do you, as always." I said.

Luna still looked the same as always. Long pale blonde hair, light blue/grey eyes, skinny, crazy earrings and the cork necklace she always wore.

But still beautiful.

"How are things here? Harry tells me you're Head Girl."

I nodded and we linked arms and started walking around the lake.

"Yeah, and Malfoy's Head Boy."

Luna's eyes widened, "How's that going?"

"Not as badly as everyone expected." I answered honestly.

Luna smiled, "Good,"

"How are things back home?" I asked.

She smiled, "It's fine. You know, lots of things going on. What about you? Did you get the house cleaned out?"

I nodded, it was hard talking about this with people, "Yeah, it's all cleared up."

"How are classes?" she asked, changing the subject.

"Interesting, Ron's potion blew up and turned him green."

At that she laughed, and I laughed with her. Our conversation flowed from there, as it usually did with us. Before I knew it Ginny, Harry, and Ron joined us and we headed inside to the Great Hall for dinner.

"I have to go talk to the professors to see what I missed." said Luna, kissing my cheek before leaving the table.

"It's good to see you this excited again." said Ron, moving to the seat Luna had just vacated next to me.

I smiled, "It's just good to have her here."

They all nodded and Ron said, "So are we all going to Hogsmeade together?"

Harry nodded, "Don't we always?"

I snorted, "Last time you and Ginny left Ron and I to go make out."

Ginny blushed and Harry shrugged, "Oops."

"When is that trip anyway?" asked Ginny.

"Next weekend." I said, taking a sip of my pumpkin juice.

They started talking and I let my eyes wander around the room, when I spotted Pansy on Draco's lap. I rolled my eyes, typical.

I turned back around and continued my dinner without looking at him again.

When dinner was over I told Harry, Ginny, and Ron that I was going to my room to do some reading, and if Luna got done with catching up that she should come get me if it wasn't too late.

I walked up to the Heads Common Room, whispered the password, and walked in. I picked a book off the shelf and sat down on the couch Malfoy usually sat on, because it was closer to the fireplace.

A few minutes later I heard two people outside the portrait.

"Pansy, _no._ I already told you."

"But you know you want to." she whined.

"No the fuck I don't. Now get lost." he snapped.

He pushed open the portrait and saw me sitting there, and quickly spun around.

"Oh Drakey come on, you remember how much fun we used to have. How good we were together...how good I made you feel."

I wanted to hurl. Or combust. Or disappear. Immediately.

But if I got up Pansy would know I was there.

"I don't know how else you want me to fucking say it Pans. I don't want to sleep with you. I'm not going to sleep with -"

"Is this about that -"

"It has nothing to do with anybody." he said, interrupting her. "I just don't _want_ you."

"Oh whatever," she said. And then I heard her heels clicking away on the stone floor.

Malfoy let out a groan and slammed the portrait.

He looked pretty furious.

He threw his jacket down on one of the chairs and sat down on the couch I used to sit on, "Accio Fire Whiskey."

A second later he was holding the bottle in his hand, and taking a swig.

"Do you drink?" he asked after a few minutes of silence.

I shrugged, "I suppose."

"Do you want some?" he asked, holding up the bottle. "It's not really fun to drink by yourself." he smirked at the end, looking more like the Malfoy I knew.

I sighed, knowing that I shouldn't, but for some reason I found myself nodding.

He stood up and sat down next to me, handing me the bottle in the process. I took a swig, used to the familiar burn, and handed it back to him.

"I'm impressed."

"Why?" I asked, looking over at him.

"I didn't think you really drank."

"You don't think I do a lot of things Malfoy." I said, reminding him of his earlier comment of my innocence.

He chuckled, "I guess that's true."

We passed the bottle back and forth a few times before he spoke up.

"Tell me one thing that comes to mind when you think of your mom."

I blinked, and without thinking said, "Baking."

He raised an eyebrow, "Baking?"

I nodded. "She taught me."

"You can bake?"

"Yeah,"

He made an impressed noise and said, "What about your dad?"

"Well he taught me how to draw, and he gave me the stuffed dragon you probably saw upstairs on my bed."

He nodded, a smug look on his face, "You seem to like the color green."

I shrugged, "I like a lot of colors."

I could feel things starting to get fuzzy from the Fire Whiskey, and it didn't bother me as much as it should have.

I took another swig, enjoying the numbness it made me feel.

"Why was Pansy sitting on you in the Great Hall?"

He scowled, "Because she clearly doesn't understand personal space."

"Why don't you like her all of a sudden?" I asked, taking the bottle from him.

"She's just too easy."

I snorted, "And you just now realized this? Then again everyone you've done anything with hasn't been that hard to get..."

I was babbling, and I knew it, but Malfoy was either too drunk, or just didn't care.

"Yeah...well I'd like to think I'm doing better this year." he said with a smirk.

I rolled my eyes, "It's been less than a month."

"Yeah, but this time last year I'd already had -"

"La, la, la, la!" I said, covering my ears, "I don't want to know!"

He chuckled and reached over, moving my hands away from my ears, "Relax."

I smiled and grabbed the bottle again.

"Do you think you should still be drinking?" he asked, a curious look on his face.

I shrugged, "Probably not."

"When was the last time you drank?"

"The night before we came back here."

"Did it help?"

"No, it never does." I answered, before taking another drink.

I leaned back and stared up at the ceiling, "Do you ever regret things you've done?"

He snorted, "Damn near everything."

I sat up, "Don't say that."

"Why not?"

"Because every choice we make shapes who we are."

"And that's a good thing?" he asked, skeptical.

"For some people."

"Like for you."

I paused. Was that a good thing for me? I mean I was driven, I loved to learn, I had a job waiting for me when I graduated, I had great friends - but my parents were dead, I kept having nightmares, I wasn't particularly _happy_.

"I don't know." I said finally.

He raised an eyebrow, "How wouldn't that be a good thing for you?"

"Because some things leave scars that don't go away." I took another long swig from the bottle, hoping to get hammered enough that I wouldn't remember this conversation in the morning.

"Why did you draw Hogwarts during the final battle?"

By this point I was too drunk to really care, so I answered him honestly, "It's what I have nightmares about sometimes."

He looked surprised, and I probably would have been surprised too, but I wasn't really...in the right state of mind.

"What else do you dream about?" He asked carefully.

I shrugged, "What do you dream about?"

I could have sworn I saw a slight blush rise to his cheeks, "Nothing really."

"Liar," I said, raising an eyebrow at him. "Tell me,"

* * *

**DPOV**

I was drunk.

I was drunk with Granger.

I was drunk with Granger in our common room.

So that's why I can't be held responsible for what came out of my mouth.

"You."

Her eyes widened. I could tell she probably wouldn't remember most of this in the morning, and I hoped this would be something _both_ of us would forget.

"Me?"

"Yup," I said, taking a swig of the Fire Whiskey, enjoying the slow burn as it slid down my throat.

I could see the blush tint her cheeks before she spoke, "What about me do you dream about?"

I smirked, "That's a secret."

She raised an eyebrow and said, "Mr. Malfoy, you're not having inappropriate dreams about me, are you?" she was laughing though, so I knew she was too drunk to really care what I said.

I chuckled, "Maybe, maybe not."

She smirked and leaned forward, her lips by my ear, "Well I think you were."

I pushed her back onto the couch, and she looked up at me, her eyes curious.

"Are you going to kiss me?" she asked.

And for a second I was going to, but then I noticed how drunk she really was, and I sat up, "No,"

"Why not?" she asked, grabbing onto the back of the couch to help her sit up.

"Because you're drunk."

"So?"

"So, I'm not taking advantage of you." I said, surprising myself.

"You're drunk too."

"Not as drunk as you."

"So?" she asked, pulling her hair up into a ponytail.

"You're not Pansy. You're not easy. That's why. Now come on, let's get you to bed."

She stood up - or tried to, but stumbled, and I caught her.

"Oops," she said, laughing.

"Granger, can you even get up the stairs?"

She laughed louder and dropped down onto the floor, "I can't even get _to_ the stairs. I think I'll just stay here."

I couldn't help but chuckle. I'd never seen Granger like this, and it was a pretty big shame that I couldn't record this.

"No, you're not going to stay down here. Come on,"

I picked her up and she smiled, wrapping her arms around my shoulders and leaning her forehead against my neck.

I couldn't help but notice her smell _again_ , as I walked up the stairs.

When I got to her room I put her down on the bed, but she grabbed my hand, "Malfoy, where's my dragon?"

For a second I was confused, before I realized she meant her stuffed animal.

I rolled my eyes and reached over onto her dresser, picking it up and putting it next to her.

She smiled, and pulled it to her chest, "G'night Malfoy."

I couldn't help but chuckle, "Goodnight Princess."

She stuck her tongue out at me, "Quit calling me that,"

"Just go to sleep."

"Mmkay," she mumbled.

I closed her door quietly, and headed into my own bedroom, shutting the door behind me.

I got in bed, but my mind wouldn't shut off.

I had almost kissed Granger, and the idea didn't really put me off. In fact it did the exact opposite.

I groaned and rubbed a hand over my face, "What the hell am I doing?"

Asking her questions, telling her things, listening to what she has to say, not arguing, calling her Princess - _not_ because it irritated her - even though it was a bonus.

Everything was just too weird. I mean what would have happened if I _had_ kissed her. She was drunk, and as many times as I'd slept with drunk girls when we'd both been drinking at parties, but it was different with her. She wasn't like them, and I knew that.

I knew that and it bothered me that I _cared_.

Whatever, hopefully we both wouldn't remember this in the morning.


	5. Chapter 5

**DPOV**

It was too bright.

 _Everything_ was too bright.

And my head was pounding. I had definitely drank too much.

But not enough to forget what had happened yesterday. What had almost happened with Granger.

I groaned and sat up, hoping like hell that she didn't remember it.

At first I thought the pounding noise was strictly in my head, until I realized it was someone at the door.

I sighed and got up, glancing at Grangers door, but it was closed.

I walked downstairs and pulled open the door, surprised to see the Weasel, Potter, Ginny, and Luna.

"Uh...can I help you?"

"We came to get Mione." said Weasley.

I glanced upstairs, "She's asleep."

"No way, it's after eleven. There's no way she's still sleeping. It's not like her."

I glared at him, "She's asleep Weasley. Get lost."

"Is she okay?" asked Ginny.

I ran a hand through my hair and said, "Yeah, she probably just has a hangover."

Weasley's eyes widened, "You got her _drunk_?"

"I didn't get her drunk. _We_ got drunk. Together. Not that it's any of your business."

"If you so much as touched her I swear to Merlin -"

"Ron," said Luna, "He didn't do anything. Come on. We'll come back later."

They reluctantly left, Weasley scowling the entire way, while Potter just gave me a strange look.

Fucking Gryffindor's.

When I'd closed the portrait I saw Granger at the top of the stairs.

"Who was that?" she asked, a hand on her head and the other on the railing, supporting her. She looked like she could fall over at any minute.

And maybe if there hadn't been a pounding in my head to match that of a _jack hammer_ , I might have paid more attention to the part of her stomach that was exposed by how she stood, how soft her skin looked, how badly I wanted to...

"Your friends."

She paled, "Oh gods,"

"I told them what happened. They weren't mad at you."

"But...?" she asked, slowly making her way down the stairs.

"Weasley assumed I'd gotten you drunk to have my wicked way with you." I said with a smirk.

She scoffed, "He always did overreact. I know you wouldn't do that. I mean you wouldn't even kiss me."

I cursed internally, pissed that she'd remembered, but hoping that she didn't remember me telling her that I fucking _dream_ about her.

"I wasn't going to." I lied.

She shook her head, but quickly regretted it and groaned, "It doesn't matter, everything's fuzzy anyway, and my head is killing me."

"So what do you remember?"

"We got drunk, we talked, you carried my drunk arse upstairs, or so I'm assuming, because I don't quite remember that part." she said, shuffling into the kitchen.

"You know there's a potion you could take."

"Well are _you_ going to make it?"

"Well no, but -"

"Exactly," she said with a smirk.

She ran a hand through her hair and groaned.

"You want me to make it?" I asked.

"Please," she sighed.

I took her spot making the tea and she sat down at the small table in the kitchen.

"Were you going to kiss me last night?"

I smirked and looked at her, "Did you want me to?"

"I don't know," she said softly.

I set her cup of tea in front of her and said, "Well when you figure it out, let me know."

With a wink I left the kitchen, heading straight to the bathroom.

And no, I didn't lock the door.

* * *

**HPOV**

Holy Merlin, what was I getting myself into?

 _Flirting_ with _Malfoy_.

I shook my head.

And what the hell did he mean by 'let me know'? Did that mean he wanted to kiss me? Did I want that?

Well I wanted it last night.

I groaned. I still wanted it now too. But I sure as hell wasn't going to tell him that. If he wanted to kiss me, he wasn't going to put it on me to tell him.

I finished my tea and went upstairs, waiting for Malfoy to come out of the bathroom.

I flopped down onto the bed and looked up at the ceiling. I must have zoned out because the next thing I knew Malfoy was knocking on my door.

I stood up and opened the door, and was face to face with Malfoy.

"Weasley's downstairs."

"Oh...uh, thanks."

He smirked, but didn't move, still blocking my path.

"What?"

"He doesn't look too happy."

I shrugged, "He and Harry seem to think you have some pretty bad intentions towards me."

"And what if I do?" he asked with a smirk.

"I can handle myself."

His smirk grew wider and he stepped forward, "Really? You think so?"

I nodded, "Yes, I do think so."

I was nervous. But not in a bad way...at least not entirely. I possibly, maybe wanted -

"Mione?"

Malfoy groaned and stepped back, "Your Weasel calls."

I paused, "Out of curiosity, what intentions do you have that I'd need to handle?"

He smirked and before I knew it he stepped forward, and leaned down, his lips ghosting over mine, "Let your imagination run away with you Princess."

Malfoy smelled like mint. Mint and something that was just distinctly Malfoy.

Merlin I hated it, but I wanted him to kiss me.

Of course he didn't, because he was Malfoy and I was Hermione.

"Mione!" Ron's voice was more frantic and I sighed, "I'm coming."

Malfoy sighed too, but stepped aside so I could pass by him.

Before I made it to the stairs I turned back around and asked, "Are you busy tonight?"

He raised an eyebrow and smirked, "What'd you have in mind?"

I rolled my eyes, "I need help on my Arithmancy homework."

He chuckled, "Sure, I'll be here."

I nodded and headed downstairs.

"What the hell were you doing?" asked Ron.

"I was talking. Would you relax?" I asked, more irritated than I expected.

"Talking to Malfoy? Why?"

"Because I wanted to. Now come on. The others are probably waiting."

* * *

_The feelings between Draco and Hermione were definitely mutual to say the least. Each of them wanted to be able to let the other in, but so many things stood in the way for both of them._

_Draco's family, his troubled past, his questionable alliances during the war, and hi_ _s semi - arranged marriage._

_Hermione's family trauma, her friends, and the expectations she held for herself - and those that others held for her._

_And the biggest thing was themselves. They were both too stubborn to admit their feelings to each other._

_Everything seemed to be against them, but maybe that was what made it so tempting for both of them. A secret relationship was romantic...wasn't it?_

* * *

**DPOV**

I didn't know what was going to happen between Granger and I when she got back to the common room, but for some reason I knew what I _wanted_ to happen.

I shook my head, what would my father think about my feelings toward her? How would he react?

Badly, no doubt.

Not that he needed to know. It wasn't serious. Not in the slightest.

But why did I even care about Granger's parents, or her paintings? Why did I want to know more than I already did?

Because I'm an idiot with a death wish.

I shook my head and ran a hand through my hair, leaning back on the couch.

My feelings for her were...difficult to understand. She was beautiful, and smart, and sarcastic, and when she accidentally let a curse word slip it was, for lack of a better word, hot.

But we were opposites. We had a bad past. She was a know it all. I was a git.

That didn't really make for clear-cut feelings.

I was about to rip my hair out when Granger pushed open the portrait.

She jumped when she saw me sitting on the couch, and then blushed, "Sorry, I didn't think you'd be here yet."

I smirked, "Nervous?"

"No," she snapped, "I just didn't think you'd be here." she said the last part softer - so soft, in fact, that I didn't know if I'd actually heard her right. But the look on her face told me that I had.

"You asked me to be here right? To help you with Arithmancy."

She blushed and tossed her bag onto the floor and sat down on the couch across from me. For a moment she didn't say anything, just stared at the fireplace, but then she spoke up.

"Yeah, I did." she reached over and pulled her homework - the same homework I'd finished yesterday - out of her bag.

"You're going to have to come over here if you want me to help you." I said, enjoying how a blush rose to her cheeks.

I slid off the couch so I was on the floor sitting in front of the table. Granger reluctantly came and sat next to me, putting the homework on the table.

"Alright, so what do you need help with?" I asked.

"Number five." she said softly, her eyes focused on the paper.

I picked up her quill and started going through the motions of the problem, not really listening to myself. I was too focused on how she was biting her lip. I could tell she wasn't listening to me.

"Granger, what did I just say?"

She jerked her head up and looked at me, a guilty expression on her face, "Uh...well first you said...I think...well you -"

"Am I distracting you Princess?"

She scowled, but stopped short when I shifted slightly.

I smirked, "Jumpy?"

"Would you just explain the stupid problem?"

"I did explain it, you just don't listen very well."

She sighed and ran a hand through her hair, "I'm sorry. I guess I'm just distracted."

"By what?" I asked with a smirk.

"Malfoy, I -"

But she shook her head and looked back over at the homework I'd written out.

I wasn't about to let it go though, "No, tell me."

"No, nevermind." she said, shaking her head and standing up.

I was done dancing around these weird feelings, and the stupid flirting - I was done with it.

I followed her up the stairs, "You can't keep running away and acting like I don't affect you."

"Oh like you're so ready to face anything." she snapped, spinning around to face me on the stairs.

"Who's chasing whom here Granger?" I asked, eyebrow raised.

"I - you're not -" she let out a frustrated groan and stomped up the stairs.

I wasn't far behind her.

Before she got to her room I grabbed her hand, "Tell me."

"No,"

"I swear to Merlin you are the most difficult witch -"

"Oh like you're such a walk in the park Malfoy!"

"At least I'm being honest." I snapped back.

At that she laughed, but it lacked the humor, "Honest? What have you been honest about? The only time we had a real conversation was when we were drunk. Was that so I wouldn't remember it or -"

"Oh no, don't try to blame me because _you_ drank too much. I asked you if you thought you should stop Granger."

She shoved her hands against my chest and tried to push me back, but I grabbed her hands and pinned them above her head against the wall.

"Let me go. This is so _stupid_." she said, attempting to pull her hands away from me.

"It's not stupid. Just because you can't _rationalize_ everything, doesn't make it pointless." I snapped.

"Don't try and act like you even know how you feel!" she snapped, "You walk around flirting one minute and then arguing with me the next. And don't even get me started on Pans -"

"Pansy? _Pansy?_ Do you know why the fuck I stopped shagging her in the first place?"

I hadn't realized it until a few moments ago, but Granger was a big reason I'd gotten bored with Pansy. Having to live in such close proximity to someone as _real_ as Granger showed me how fake everything about Pansy was.

"You stopped because she was annoying. Because you got bored." But I could hear the uncertainty in her voice.

"And why did I get bored?" I asked, my voice quiet.

She looked at me, her toffee eyes wide, "I don't know."

"Really Granger? You have no idea why the fuck I haven't slept with - or so much as _looked at_ another girl?"

She shook her head, but I felt the pulse in her wrist pick up, "It doesn't mean anything."

"And then you. You think I don't notice how different you act around Weasley? You used to _want_ him to touch you, and now you can't stand it. Why do you think that is?" I asked.

"No, that's not true."

"It is true!" I snapped, "You just don't want to admit it."

She opened and closed her mouth, clearly unsure of what to say.

"Why are you doing this? And why now? You don't even _like_ me."

I scoffed and let go of her wrists. "You know what? Forget it Granger."

"What? No." she said, grabbing my arm and pushing _me_ against the wall, with more force than I expected her to have.

"You started this conversation, so finish it."

I rolled my eyes, "You think you know it all, don't you Granger? You think everything always has to be black and white. Well tell me, what about your feelings for me is black and white?"

"I don't have feelings for you." she said quietly.

I'd had enough. I grabbed her waist, turning us both so that her back was against the wall, and I said, "I beg to differ Princess."

And then...

I leaned down...

And kissed her.

And the craziest thing?

She kissed me back.

Her hands slowly slid up my chest and came to rest on my shoulders, and I pushed her further into the wall.

Her lips parted and I slid my tongue into her mouth, exploring. She tasted sweet, just like she smelled, vanilla and strawberries.

Her tongue gently moved against mine, and her hands moved to my hair, tugging gently.

And no matter how soft she felt against me, how intoxicating her smell was, and how desperate her slightest movement made me, there was only one thing I could think.

This was what it felt like to taint an angel.

* * *

**HPOV**

Malfoy pulled away from me, a strange look on his face, before dropping his hands and saying, "So tell me again how you don't have any feelings for me."

I closed my eyes and bit my lip, but quickly opened my eyes again when I heard him groan, his eyes focused on my lips.

"Malfoy -"

He shook his head, "Don't make this complicated Granger."

I closed my eyes and felt him move closer to me, his hands finding my waist again.

"Look at me,"

I did and immediately noticed how clouded his silver eyes were. With desire.

For _me._

The thought was almost too crazy for me to wrap my head around.

He brought his lips back down to mine, giving me plenty of time to turn away if I wanted to.

I didn't.

And so he kissed me again, and it was unlike how anybody had ever kissed me before.

With Ron it had been careful. Like he'd been afraid he'd break me. And with Krum it had been stupid and meaningless.

But with Malfoy...he kissed me in a way that seemed like he _wanted_ to break me. He _wanted_ to be rough with me, and after having people treat me like I was a porcelain doll for so long it was nice to have someone treat me like I wouldn't break.

I tangled my hands in his hair, and his hands slid under my blouse, resting against the skin of my back, and sending little sparks of desire racing across my skin.

Our tongues fought for dominance and I quickly gave up, breaking away to breathe.

His lips never left my skin, instead moving to my neck, kissing and biting the sensitive skin there. I let out a soft moan and felt him chuckle against my neck.

"I love that sound," he whispered in my ear before kissing along my jaw and back to my lips. I don't know how long we stood there, up against the wall in front of my bedroom, before there was a knock on the door.

Malfoy groaned, but pulled away from me, "I'll get it."

I watched as he sauntered down the stairs, in no hurry to answer whoever was pounding on the door.

My head was swimming. Had I really just made out with Malfoy?

I needed tea.

I walked down the stairs and made a beeline for the kitchen, setting a kettle on the stove.

I heard Malfoy arguing with someone at the door, but I couldn't make out what they were saying.

I moved to the entryway of the kitchen and listened harder.

"...going on with her. Why do you need there to be someone else for me to not be interested in you?"

Oh. It was Pansy at the door.

But then I heard another voice.

"We tried to tell her that but -"

"Oh shut up Theo." snapped Pansy. "If I find out that something's going on with you and the mudblood I'm going to tell Astoria."

"Whatever Pansy. Now get the fuck out."

A second later the portrait slammed shut and I jumped, running back over to the tea kettle.

What did Astoria have to do with anything? If Pansy was going to tell anyone, wouldn't it make sense to tell Malfoy's parents?

Not that there was anything to tell. Not really anyway.

I heard him step into the kitchen, but I didn't turn around.

"How much did you hear?"

"Nothing, why?" I lied.

He seemed placated by my answer and just shrugged, "No reason."

"Who was it?"

"Pansy and Theo." he answered, studying me carefully.

I nodded, "Alright, tea?"

He seemed a bit thrown by my sudden change in conversation, but nodded anyway, taking a seat at the table.

I set his cup down on the table in front of him, and went to leave, but he grabbed my wrist, pulling me down onto his lap.

I let out a surprised yelp and he chuckled.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

He smirked, "Not a thing Princess."

I slapped his hands away and stood up, "Oh shut up with that."

But even to my own ears it didn't sound like I meant it, and I didn't sound as mad as I probably should have been.

"Nah, I don't think so."

"Why?"

"I like how you look when you blush Granger." he said, doing that irritatingly seductive smirk that he was so known for.

"I like how you look when you're quiet." I muttered, walking into the living room and sitting down on the couch. The Arithmancy homework was still on the table and I sighed, sitting down to finish it up.

A few minutes later Malfoy sat down on the couch that my back was leaning against and I glanced up at him.

"What are you doing?"

"Sitting."

"Here?"

He smirked, "Where would you like me to sit?"

"Away from me." I muttered, turning my attention back to my homework.

"You didn't seem to mind the proximity a few minutes ago."

"We're not talking about that."

"Ah, so we're going to pretend like that little hallway display didn't happen?" he said, his tone irritated

"What do you care what we pretend did or did not happen." I asked.

I knew I was being childish, but I couldn't help it. This was just _wrong_ and it was going to get messy. I didn't like messy, nor did I need messy. Not after everything I'd already been through.

All of a sudden he plucked the quill from my hand and pulled me up onto the couch with him.

"I care, because I want it to happen again," he trailed his lips across my neck, and I let out a soft moan, before he continued, "And I know you do too."

I don't know what got into me, but I pushed him back onto the couch, got on top of him, and kissed him.

He responded almost instantly, one of his hands finding my waist and the other tangling in my hair, keeping me on top of him - not that I was going anywhere.

I tangled my hands in his hair, and before I knew it his tongue was sliding along my bottom lip, asking for entrance that I gladly gave.

Kissing Malfoy was like a roller coaster. One moment it'd be slow and careful and the next it'd be completely passionate and out of control.

I ran my hands over his chest, feeling how toned he was from playing Quidditch for all these years.

I moved away from his lips and kissed and nipped at his neck, eliciting a low groan from him. I'd never thought a groan could sound so...attractive, but hearing Malfoy groan - because of something I did... _wow_.

He grabbed my hair and pulled me back up to his lips, wasting no time in sliding his tongue into my mouth. I moaned and it was like something in him snapped.

He pushed me so I was lying on my back, and he was between my legs, that same smirk playing on his face when he spoke.

"So what was that about wanting to pretend like it never happened?"

I didn't respond, just pulled his lips back to mine.

Apparently he didn't really want to talk either, because he kissed me back without hesitation.

I could just _feel_ this 'relationship' going to hell in a hand basket...an ugly Christmas colored basket.

But with Malfoy's hands in my hair, and on my hips, I couldn't seem to bring myself to really care too much about what the future held.

* * *

_That moment, that night in the common room, that's what started it all._

_Every look, every word, every touch - everything that followed that one moment was inevitable. It was the beginning._

_And in a way, it ended it all too. They just didn't know it yet._


	6. Chapter 6

**DPOV**

"Name one place you'd like to travel to."

Granger always did this. This weird questions thing.

Well no, it's not that the questions were weird, but the timing was.

We were curled up on the couch, having snogged for the past hour, and now she was asking me questions. It's not that it really bothered me, it was just strange.

Then again I suppose we did the same thing that night two weeks ago when we were drunk.

Fuck...two weeks. I've been doing this weird little dance with Granger for _two bloody weeks._

And I was already so screwed. I found myself wanting to spend more time with her...time outside of what we spent inside our common room - and more recently our separate rooms.

I wanted to be able to _talk_ to her without having people stare and gawk at us, or just assume that the only reason we were talking was because we had Head duties to discuss.

But I shouldn't feel like that. Because she didn't feel like that.

At least I assumed she didn't. It's not like we talked about...whatever the hell it was that we were doing.

And it's not like I wanted to either, because it wasn't like that. It never would be like that. And that didn't really bother me too much...well maybe it bothered me a little bit.

"I've been almost everywhere Granger."

She shifted so she could see my face and then frowned, "Well...what's somewhere you'd want to go _again_ then?"

I shrugged, "Ireland was cool I guess. I don't know, what about you?"

I heard her sigh, "I haven't really been anywhere."

"Well then what's one place you'd want to go?"

"Aberdeen." she answered immediately.

I couldn't help but smirk, "We have a house in Aberdeen."

"You have a house everywhere." she said, her tone annoyed.

I tickled her sides and she laughed. "Now that's better."

I had no idea when her laugh had become something I liked to hear, but I did like it. I liked it more than I probably should.

But that couldn't be helped.

"So why Aberdeen?"

Her hand was tracing imaginary patterns on my chest for a while before she answered, "My dad always said he'd take me there one day. But seeing as he never got around to doing that...I figured I should at least try for him."

It was moments like these that I realized how much I didn't really know about Granger. She was tough and acted like nothing fazed her, but in certain instances I could tell that it _did_ bother her. The fact that her parents had been killed during the war was something I couldn't really wrap my head around.

I mean as much as I hated my father, I don't know what I would do if he actually died. Especially if he didn't have any magic to protect himself.

"I'll take you there one day." I said, without thinking.

I tended to do that a lot around her.

"What?" she asked, amusement clear in her voice.

"I'll take you there one day."

"You're insane."

"Seriously," I said, shifting so I could look down at her. I didn't particularly know if I meant it, but it felt like lately I'd been going out of my way to see her smile.

Which - again - was weird.

She smiled softly and said, "If you say so."

After a moment she put her head back on my chest and asked, "Is your favorite color really green?"

I couldn't help but chuckle, "Of course it is."

I felt her smile against my neck before she pressed a kiss there.

Every touch from her seemed to send off a million sparks - and that was definitely not something that had happened before.

I leaned down and pressed a light kiss to her lips before leaning my head back and closing my eyes. I knew that we should get up and go to bed, but that meant that I'd have to grudge through a another day acting like I didn't want to push her up against the wall and -

"If you're tired you should go to bed." she said softly.

I opened my eyes and smiled, "I'm not tired."

"Liar," she said with a smirk...a smirk that was starting to look a lot like mine.

I was rubbing off on Gryffyndor's Golden Girl. The thought made me smirk.

It'd been pretty weird for the first few days, mostly because she refused to acknowledge my presence, but I'd been pretty...persuasive.

Not that she'd been too hard to persuade. Besides, it wasn't anything serious anyway. The only time we did anything was in here.

"Come on, get up." she said, standing and pulling on my hand.

I chuckled but did as she asked, letting her pull me up the stairs.

"Now go to sleep," she said, shoving me in the direction of my room.

Instead of walking into my room I spun around and pushed her up against the wall.

Her eyes got darker - like I'm sure mine did too - and she smirked, "What are you doing?"

Instead of responding I leaned down and caught her lips in a kiss, and she responded almost immediately, wrapping her arms around my shoulders.

I slid my tongue into her mouth and we started a dance that we'd pretty much perfected over the past two weeks, before she pulled away.

"Go to bed Malfoy."

"Whatever you say Princess." I said, kissing her one last time before retreating into my room.

I got into bed, and was instantly asleep, but three hours later I woke up to the sound of something falling in the kitchen.

With a groan I got up and trudged down the stairs and into the kitchen, only to find Hermione standing by the stove, arms wrapped around herself.

She jumped when I said her name, "Granger, what are you doing?"

She spun around and I noticed her eyes were red and there were tear stains on her cheeks.

"Oh, nothing. I just couldn't sleep."

I knew she was lying, and I knew she'd probably had a nightmare, but I also knew she probably wouldn't tell me anything about it.

"What really happened?" I asked softly, watching as she grabbed a cup out of the cabinet and filled it with shaky hands.

I don't know why the sight of her like this bothered me as much as it did. The thought was rather unsettling for me, seeing as I wasn't really supposed to care about her. Not in any _real_ way.

"Just a little dream. No big deal." she said, attempting to brush me off, "Just go back to bed."

"You had a nightmare?" I asked.

She let out a sigh and said, "Yes, okay. Now please, go back to bed."

She walked past me and sat in front of the fireplace, her legs curled underneath her.

I sighed, she wanted to be alone.

Fine.

I walked back up the stairs, but not before waving my hand and casting the spell I'd done once before, in hopes that when she went back to sleep it'd be peaceful.

Why?

No idea.

Was I going to try and figure it out?

Not a chance.

* * *

**HPOV**

This thing that had been happening with Malfoy was weird.

We still fought.

Argued.

Yelled.

Pushed.

Insulted.

But we also talked.

Laughed.

Joked.

_Kissed._

And when we kissed...Merlin it was like nothing else mattered. He was just so bloody _good_ at it.

It was complicated, because we didn't really talk outside of the common room, but that was alright. It would have been too much for people to handle, and Draco's parents probably wouldn't be okay with it.

We didn't think we needed the drama for something that wasn't permanent. Because this arrangement wasn't permanent. It was just a temporary reprieve from everything else that was going on.

And he _was_ a good distraction. I didn't think about my parents or the future or _anything_ when I was with him. And it wasn't just the kissing, it was the talking too. The joking. I mean we actually _laughed_ together.

Malfoy and I _laughed together._ That didn't even sound right.

But it was true. It was true and it didn't bother me like it should have. Because whether I wanted to admit it or not - and I didn't want to - I liked his company.

But the nightmares were getting worse.

 _A lot_ worse. And I didn't know what to do.

They weren't usually as vivid...but as of late they were. I'd have certain nights where it would be okay, and other nights it would be almost unbearable.

I didn't want Malfoy asking questions or knowing anything about my nightmares, because they were all about the war. And that was a subject I wasn't ready - or willing - to talk about with anyone.

This latest dream had been about my parents. I'd been sitting five feet away, unable to move, when they'd been killed by a Death Eater. I couldn't see the Death Eaters face, but then again I never could. It was like my subconscious' way of torturing me even further. It was bad enough that I already blamed myself for their death, but now I had to relive different versions of it in my sleep.

That was messed up in _so_ many ways. Ways that I didn't want to think about right now.

I ran a hand through my hair and sighed, taking a sip of my tea.

I should be happy that Malfoy cared enough to get out of bed, to ask me what was wrong. So then why'd I have to go and be rude?

Not that I cared. We were always rude to each other. It was like our tradition. It wasn't anything as mean as the first years we were at Hogwarts, but it wasn't _nice_ either.

Not that either one of us seemed to mind when the other would end the argument with a kiss.

Malfoy found this tactic especially useful when he'd done something that really had made me mad, because I would always lose my train of thought and just give in to how amazing and soft his lips felt on mine.

I took another sip of my tea and heard Malfoy walk up the stairs. I felt a weird fuzzy sensation settle over me, but just as quickly as it had came, it vanished.

I glanced up the stairs just as Malfoy's door closed, and I sighed. Bitchiness was not my most attractive quality. Not that he was a particularly nice person.

But still. We'd formed somewhat of a tentative friendship over the past two weeks, and even if it was just convenience - or whatever - that brought us together, I could still be nice, and appreciate the moments when Malfoy _wasn't_ a gigantic git.

I glanced at his closed door again and contemplated going up there and knocking on the door.

Then again, what the hell would I even say to him? "Sorry I didn't want you to know my terrifyingly morbid nightmares that revolve around some Death Eater that you possibly know or even worked with at some point" -

No. Definitely not.

I could only imagine how well he'd take that.

Besides he was probably already asleep, considering the only reason he'd probably woken up was because he'd heard me drop one of the cups.

Unlike me, it seemed like he _wasn't_ plagued by nightmares. Not that he didn't have plenty going on anyway. I could only imagine what it was like to switch sides like that in the middle of a war.

He hadn't told me about his childhood - obviously - but I couldn't hep but feel that it hadn't been all that great. I mean at least I'd had a good childhood, loving parents, family meals, and colorful holidays.

I highly doubted that Malfoy had been as lucky.

Especially after having been inside Malfoy Manor...it was just so dark and depressing. It was hard to believe that any happiness could have gone on in a house that _cold_. It didn't feel like anything happy had ever happened there.

I shook my head and walked up the steps to my bedroom, trying to shake the thought of a little Malfoy in that big house.

It shouldn't matter.

It didn't matter.

But the strange feeling in my chest reminded me that I was just _maybe_ lying to myself a little bit.

* * *

**DPOV**

"So it looks like Pansy and Astoria are getting pretty close."

I looked across the lawn at a group of girls, quickly spotting Pans and the younger Greengrass.

I shrugged, "So?"

Blaise looked over at the group of girls and smirked, "I've never noticed it before, but Astoria's not that hard to look at."

I rolled my eyes. Sure, she was pretty, but she wasn't really anybody I'd look twice at.

I smirked, that was a name I could add to the list of girls I hadn't shagged - contrary to Granger's belief that I'd -

Why the hell was I thinking about her right now?

I groaned internally.

Maybe because she was sitting under the shade of one of the trees, a book in front of her, and Weasley by her side.

But that didn't bother me.

I shook my head, "I guess,"

Blaise raised an eyebrow at me, "Where's you're head at lately mate? You seem a little out of it."

If he only knew the half of it.

"I'm fine."

He shrugged, "Anyway, what do you think about her? I mean I know she's a year younger but -"

"She's not my type." I interrupted.

Apparently no one was my type - aside from Granger. And it was really starting to grate on my nerves. It was at certain times, like in our common room, that I was fine with it.

Because in the common room it was like our own little world, but out here in the harsh light of day, it always became really obvious how _stupid_ all of it really was.

Of course not stupid enough for me to end it.

Or her either it seemed.

Then again, I had been the one to initiate everything, and for _no bloody reason_ other than to see her irritated. But that had obviously turned into something completely different.

It was twisted and wrong - on so many levels - and we both knew that.

That was probably the most messed up part. That we both knew it was wrong and we still kept doing it.

Not that I was complaining _too_ much.

Kissing Granger was... _fuck_ , I couldn't even explain it. It was like nothing I'd ever experienced before - and that was saying something.

But it wasn't just the kissing - and that was the bad part. Maybe if it had just been that then I wouldn't have been so freaked out about it, but it wasn't just that.

I liked _talking_ to her. That thought alone was strange.

But not _that_ strange. I had to admit that even back when tormenting her and her little friends was like my _job,_ I still enjoyed her witty comebacks, because she was the one person I could rely on to actually have something to say back to me.

As if she could tell I was thinking about her, her gaze traveled around the pond until her eyes met mine. It looked like she was going to wave, but she quickly covered it by pushing a strand of hair away from her face.

I looked back over to Blaise and saw he was waving Pansy and Astoria over.

"What are you doing?"

"I want to get to know little Miss Greengrass." he said, a smirk on his face.

I rolled my eyes, and started to get up.

"Oh don't leave on my account."

I literally had to repress a groan, "Trust me Pansy, I'm not leaving because of you."

"Oh," she said, clearly not buying it, "Then where do you have to be? Classes are over and dinner isn't for another hour."

"It's called studying." I said, glaring at her.

She quickly closed her mouth, the smirk she had on her face only moments before was gone. Even she knew when to quit, and I took pride in the fact that my glare was one thing that not even she messed with.

I nodded a curt hello to Astoria, whose cheeks turned pink, and then said goodbye to Blaise, completely ignoring Pansy.

I walked back towards Hogwarts, casting a glance back towards where Weasley and Granger had been sitting, but they weren't there anymore.

The corridors were fairly empty considering most of the students were outside trying to soak up the sun before winter settled in.

October...the Halloween Ball was coming up soon, and I couldn't deny the fact that I was curious to see what Granger would look like in a dress.

I shook my head, trying to shake the thought, and was on my way to the library when I felt someone pull me into one of the alcoves.

I didn't need to ask who it was, I already knew by the smell.

Strawberries and vanilla.

"What are you doing?" I asked, slightly amused.

She didn't respond, just grabbed my tie and pulled me forward, closer to her. I instinctively wrapped my arms around her waist and looked down at her.

She smirked, "Kiss me,"

I leaned down and pressed my lips to hers, enjoying how soft she felt in my arms.

Her hands moved up to my neck, playing with my hair - a habit I found that I rather liked - while my hands on her waist tightened when she slid her tongue into my mouth.

I pushed her back against the wall of the alcove, enjoying the small sigh that escaped her lips. I pulled away and began kissing across her jaw and down her neck, nipping her pulse point and eliciting a moan from her, before trailing back up to her lips.

All of a sudden she pushed me back against the opposite wall and grazed her teeth across my jaw, before I felt her feather light kisses move down my neck.

I couldn't help but groan and dig my fingers into her hips. I could already tell she was turning me on, and I didn't particularly want to have to walk back to the common room with a full on boner.

I pulled back, "Granger,"

"Hmm?" she asked, looking up at me, her toffee eyes dark.

"Let's go to the common room."

She sighed, "I don't want to."

I chuckled, "But it's private up there."

She smirked, "Alright, I'll meet you up there then."

Before I could suggest that we just walk together, she was already walking out of the alcove and down the corridor.

I couldn't really blame her though, because I hadn't really given her any reason to believe it'd be okay with me to actually be seen together.

I mean we _were_ seen together, but only because of Head duties, not because we were friends. I mean sure we'd give the tentative nod in the halls, but other than that we barely acknowledged one another.

I shook my head, Granger was upstairs waiting for me.

What the hell was I doing downstairs?

* * *

**HPOV**

Malfoy looked up at me from his spot on the couch, watching me curiously.

I had my sketch pad in front of me, and I was drawing yet another scene from the war - but it wasn't like I did it on purpose. I would just zone out and then there it would be - another reminder - staring back at me.

I scowled down at the drawing and Malfoy noticed.

Of course.

"What'd you draw?"

I frowned. It'd been a week since our tryst in the alcove and my stupid drawings had gotten worse - as had my nightmares - and living in such close proximity made it nearly impossible to hide anything from him.

"My parents."

I crumpled up the paper, distorting the faces of my parents.

"Then why'd you -"

"They were dead." I said simply, before tossing the paper into the fireplace, watching it burn until it was nothing but a pile of ash.

"Granger I -"

"Do you think the weather will get better?"

I knew he wanted to talk about my nightmares, the drawings - and I understood that - but I wasn't asking him about his parents and his family.

Malfoy glanced outside at the rain pelting down, and he opened his mouth to answer me, but a loud clap of thunder interrupted him.

I just about jumped out of my skin, and Malfoy studied me, his expression unreadable.

"Are you scared of storms?"

I glanced out the window just as a giant bolt of lightning raced across the sky, and I braced myself for the clap of thunder.

I jumped slightly when it happened and then answered Malfoy, "I don't like them."

"I gathered as much. But why?"

I shrugged.

"You know it can't hurt you right?"

"Well of course I know that. I'm not stupid."

He snorted, "I know that."

I jumped again and wrapped my arms around myself, trying to ward off the chills I was feeling.

I really just hated storms. It had been so bad when I was a kid that I couldn't sleep by myself - although I still didn't sleep by myself. If there was a storm I'd just stay awake.

Malfoy sighed and stood up, conjuring up a blanket.

He walked over to me and sat down, wrapping the blanket around my shoulders, his arm lingering around me for a moment before he shifted so he sat on the other side of the same couch I was on.

"Thanks," I said softly.

He simply nodded.

"Did you celebrate Halloween?" I didn't know where the question had come from, but Malfoy chuckled.

"No, Granger, I didn't."

My eyes widened, "Really? Why not?"

He shrugged, "My parents didn't really see the point."

I frowned, "That's sad."

He scoffed, "Whatever Granger."

I ignored his tone and asked, "Well did you celebrate Christmas?"

"Of course."

"How?"

"What do you mean how?"

"Well did you have any traditions?"

He frowned and shook his head, "My parents left presents, I opened them, they went back to doing whatever it was they were doing."

"Did you decorate?"

He laughed, "Are you insane? Does Malfoy Manor look like the type of place to get decorated for Christmas - or for anything?"

I frowned, "No, I suppose not. At least not the last time I was there."

He immediately tensed and I felt bad.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have -"

"No, you're right. And I'm...I'm sorry for that."

And he really did look sorry. And it wasn't even his fault that I'd gotten tortured by his psycho aunt.

My hand reflexively covered the scar on my arm, and I cringed when he noticed.

The thing was, he looked a little pale when he asked, "Does it still hurt?"

I shook my head, "No, not really. Feels weird sometimes, but no actual pain."

He seemed relieved to hear that and nodded.

I jumped again when an extremely loud clap of thunder almost _shook_ the school.

Malfoy sighed and wrapped an arm around my shoulders, pulling me close to his side.

"What do you usually do during storms?"

I opened my mouth to say 'sleep with someone', but that would only cause him to come up with some type of crude and dirty remark, and even though we'd been living together for the past month and a half, I still wasn't used to how dirty his mind really was.

Then again he was a teenage boy.

In the end I just shrugged, "Wait till it's gone."

"It could last all night."

I nodded, "I know. But I can't sleep by myself so I don't really have a choice."

He ran a hand through his hair and said, "You're a really complicated girl, aren't you Granger?"

I couldn't help but laugh, "You don't even know the half of it."

We ended up staying downstairs. As in he stayed with me while it was storming.

He was sitting, and I sat between his legs, my back against his chest, his arms around my waist, and the blanket pulled up over us.

"You're lucky I like you Granger." he mumbled into my hair.

My witty comeback died on my lips when I jumped at another clap of thunder.

His arms tightened around my waist, and I couldn't help but feel a little...safer.

Like I said, our relationship was convenient.

Situations like this just proved that. It wasn't that we cared about each other - it wasn't - it was more like we needed each other, for whatever reasons.

And right now I needed Malfoy so that I didn't turn into a pile of goo on the floor because of a thunderstorm. So that's why we stayed like that, in each others arms.

Because it was convenient.

Not because I liked the way he felt against me, not because I felt the constant beat of his heart against my back comforting, and certainly not because I got a fluttering feeling in my stomach when his arms tightened around me.

Because that would have been ridiculous.

And totally out of the question.

Totally.


	7. Chapter 7

**DPOV**

The damn Halloween Ball was three days away, and I was already tired of hearing about it.

And tired of Pansy dropping hints about me taking her. Because that was definitely not going to happen.

The funny thing is, even if this... _thing_ that I had with Granger wasn't happening, I still wouldn't have taken her. At least not this year, because things were finally different.

I couldn't help but admit that I was just a _little_ curious as to what Gryffindor's Golden Girl would be wearing to the ball.

I snorted, probably some nun-like dress.

Then again she'd looked fucking _amazing_ at the Yule Ball in Fourth Year, so I should probably keep my mouth shut.

I didn't even know if she was going though, because she seemed to be the only girl who wasn't talking about it ever bloody second of the day.

I guess that's why it surprised me when I walked into the Common Room to find Granger sitting on the couch with Weaslette, apparently discussing something pertaining to the Ball.

" - have to go! It will be amazing and you'll look fantastic!" squealed the red-head.

Granger looked up from her spot on the couch and noticed me. Her face paled considerably, but she spoke up anyway.

"Hey, Malfoy."

I nodded in response and then looked to Weaslette, "Hello,"

She eyed me for a moment before giving me what I assumed was supposed to be a nice smile and saying, "Hello,"

I walked into the kitchen and Weaslette continued her attempts at trying to get Granger to go to the Ball. I hoped she'd win the argument, because I wanted to see what exactly she meant when she said Granger would look fantastic.

Not that I didn't already think she -

What the hell am I doing? Granger does not look fantastic.

I mean she's not hard to look at and -

For the love of Salazar, I needed to stop thinking about her so goddamn much. It was starting to get a bit ridiculous, borderline crazy.

And the dreams hadn't stopped either. Those damn sexually explicit dreams that made me really just want to push her up against a wall and -

"Ginny, I don't want to! I'm not like you and the other girls, always wanting an excuse to dress up. It's just not my thing."

I had to agree with that. Granger was so unlike any girl I'd ever met...but that wasn't a bad thing. And if I let myself admit it, it was a pretty damn _good_ thing.

"Mione, please? Do this for me. It's our last year, and how many chances am I going to get after we graduate to see you all dressed up?" pouted the red-head.

I heard Granger let out a resigned sigh, and knew she had given in before the words left her mouth, "Fine, I'll go alright?"

Weaslette squealed, "Oh this is great! We have to go to Madam Malkin's _immediately_."

I heard her sigh, but agree nonetheless, "Alright. Let me grab my jacket."

She walked into the kitchen to grab said jacket off one of the chairs, before she paused and looked at me, "Pray for me,"

I chuckled, "It can't be that bad."

She rolled her eyes and whispered back, "Can't be that bad? This is _Ginny_ we're talking about here. It's like her dream to play dress up."

"What's wrong with that? She's a _normal_ girl." I retorted, enjoying the spark it ignited in her eyes.

"What's _wrong_ with it, you pompous little ferret, is that she wants _me_ to be her life-sized doll."

I couldn't help but chuckle, "You'll survive. Besides," I said, closing the distance between us and placing my hands on her hips, "I can't wait to see what you'll look like."

I leaned down a kissed her softly, before shoving her out of the kitchen.

I only just caught her glaring at me as Weaslette yanked her from the Common Room.

* * *

**HPOV**

Dress shopping is hell. Plain and simple, it is _hell_.

There are too many options, too many styles, too many colors, too many fabrics - it was just _too much_ of everything.

And Ginny seemed to be enjoying every second of it.

Typical.

I hated everything about shopping, especially having to try on dresses for a stupid party that I didn't even want to go to. I mean I had to admit, I was a bit interested to see what Malfoy would be wearing, because I _knew_ he was going. I mean he had to. He never _not_ went to things like this. But I had to admit that he would look amazing. As would Pansy no doubt. And Ginny. But me...not so much. The Yule Ball had already been enough of a problem, and a struggle, and I doubted I would get that lucky again with finding a dress.

It was really hard for me to see what exactly Malfoy saw in me. I mean as much as I hated Pansy - and girls like her - I couldn't deny the fact that they were pretty, and they knew it. I mean they weren't anything _that_ special to look at, but they knew how to dress themselves up so that they _did_ look that special. Especially to guys. And that just seemed to be something I wasn't really capable of doing.

But there he was, liking me. _Kissing_ me. I mean what did he really see in me? Not too much though since we never really associated with each other outside of our Common Room.

Then again, I didn't really want to. It was just easier to not have to deal with what people would think. Especially his parents. It just wasn't worth the drama. Besides, half the time we didn't even _like_ each other.

But in all honesty he wasn't as bad as he had been the previous years, which was an improvement, and sometimes it really did seem like he liked me - but maybe that's just because he liked a challenge, and I was the only girl who wasn't following his every command like some love sick puppy.

But anyway. I hate dress shopping.

And Ginny had already found her dress. In like...five minutes. And as much as I hated to admit it, she looked amazing in it, and it complemented her hair color so perfectly it was hard to think she wouldn't be the prettiest girl at the ball.

The dress was long, falling all the way to the floor in waves, in a lavender purple color, and cinched at the waist. There were a few sparkles in the fabric of the dress and it looked every bit as girly as Ginny would have wanted it.

But then there was me, and I was not so lucky. I'd tried on _countless_ dresses, and none of them seemed to be the _right_ one.

Merlin help me.

"Oh come on out Hermione. I bet this is the one!"

I sighed, but did as she asked, pushing open the door and stepping out in front of the mirror.

Ginny's mouth dropped open, and even I was a bit surprised at how... _good_ I looked.

The dress was pretty simple, but then again it wasn't.

It was an all black cut out halter dress with silver beaded straps, and an open back. There was a silver beaded belt that started from her lower back and wrapped around forming an X at her waist that slid back around to her upper back, meeting the matching silver straps at her shoulder blades. The skirt shimmered slightly and fell gracefully to the floor, with a bit of a train in the back.

"That's the dress Mione." she whispered. "You look amazing."

I stared at myself for a moment longer before I nodded, "I think you're right."

"Well don't you look lovely." said Madam Malkin, coming up to me with a pair of red heels and a ruby necklace. "On the house."

My eyes widened, "I can't accept this."

"Well of course you can. You'll be the bell of the ball. Both of you will." she said, smiling at Ginny as well.

Ginny shook her head, "Thank you, but we both know Mione's going to steal the show. I mean just look at her."

I rolled my eyes, "Ginny please. You look amazing."

"You both do." said Madam Malkin, packing the shoes and the necklace into a bag, "Now get out of that dress and let me pack it up so you girls can get back."

I smiled and did as she asked, even though I wasn't particularly comfortable accepting such an extravagant gift, but the necklace really was lovely, and the shoes were a perfect way to show my Gryffindor spirit without it being obvious.

I came out and handed the dress to Madam Malkin while she and Ginny chattered on about the best way to do our hair. I took the time to do some thinking.

They both said I looked amazing, and I mean I think I looked good, but amazing wasn't really the word I would've chosen.

Then again Ginny always said I was my own worst critic.

I couldn't help but wonder if Malfoy would think I looked amazing, or if he would even care enough to look over at me to find out.

I mean even though we had this weird thing going on, it didn't really extend into our regular lives.

It was just one really confusing situation.

But I shoved that from my mind as I took the bag from Madam Malkin and Ginny and I headed back to Hogwarts with our dresses, talking about how fun the dance would be.

And you know what?

I thought she might just be right.

* * *

**DPOV**

I tugged on my green tie again, while listening to Blaise and Theo rattled on about how they hoped to be bringing girls home to their dorms tonight.

We were in my Common Room, and Weaslette and Granger were upstairs, and I was trying to stall to see what she looked like.

I ran a hand through my hair, trying not to pull it out, and turned to face them.

"Who are you guys eyeing tonight?"

Blaise smirked, "Lovegood."

"Loony Lovegood? You're serious?"

"You can't deny that she's pretty hot." he argued, flopping back onto the couch.

I thought about it.

I mean she wasn't ugly, but she wasn't my type.

Fuck, there I was saying it again. _Not my type._

Well no shit. Nobody was my type except for _her,_ the damn -

Nope. I'm not going to follow that train of thought again.

Just then I heard the door to her room open, but it was Weaslette who came out.

And I had to admit, she cleaned up nicely.

Theo must have thought so too, because his eyes seemed to be _glued_ to her as she came down the stairs.

"Hey..." she said, a bit awkwardly. Not that I blamed her.

"Hey, lookin' good Red." said Blaise, an easy smile on his face.

Theo glared at him, but he didn't seem to notice.

Ginny smiled, "Thank you,"

I watched as she grabbed her purse and walked over to the door.

"Aren't you going with Granger?" I asked, pretending to fix my tie _again._

"She said she'd meet me there, she's getting some things together." she said with a shrug. "Just tell her to hurry up, would you? Ron's probably waiting."

My mood automatically soured at the mention of Weasley. Were they going together? Like a date? Maybe I should have taken Pan -

No. Definitely not.

"Sure,"

She nodded and waved goodbye to Theo and Blaise, and then headed out.

Theo immediately punched Blaise in the arm.

"What the hell was that?"

"What the hell was _that_?" countered Blaise, rubbing his arm.

I, however, didn't catch the rest of their argument, because just then Granger was walking down the stairs.

And holy _fuck_ she looked _hot_.

I mentally slapped myself. Hot? Really? That's the best I could come up with?

Well no. Actually it wasn't.

Amazing.

Fantastic.

Sexy.

...Beautiful.

Hell, what was happening that I was calling Granger beautiful?

But she'd always been beautiful hadn't she?

I focused back on her, and now she stood at the bottom of the stairs, apparently replying to something Theo had said to her.

"That's sweet. Thank you."

I shot Theo a look that I hoped said 'shut the hell up' and _not_ 'I'm about to bash your face in'.

"You all look handsome." she said, her eyes lingering on me for a moment longer than my two friends, and I couldn't help but smirk.

"Of course we do Granger."

She scowled and walked into the kitchen, probably to grab her purse.

"Well come on then, we've got girls to chat up." said Theo with a smirk.

He and Blaise stood up, and I made some excuse about grabbing my wand from upstairs so that they'd leave me alone to go talk to Granger.

After they'd left I walked into the kitchen and saw her leaning against the counter, seemingly staring off into space.

"You coming?"

She jumped and spun around, "Oh, uh, well you see -"

"Granger, are you chickening out?"

She scowled - again - and said, "What do you care what I do?"

"I don't," I answered easily. Even though I knew that I _did_ care. More than I probably should. "But you look...good, and it'd be a waste not to go."

Her face scrunched up, and I was about to ask what I'd said, when she started talking.

"Good. Right. I look good. That's...good." she tugged at her dress, and it was more than obvious that she wasn't comfortable.

What I couldn't figure out was _why_. I mean she looked great, and her body was fucking _amazing,_ and she was definitely showing a lot of it tonight.

I ran a hand through my hair, "You look more than good Granger."

"But you just said -"

"You look fucking fantastic." I said, closing the space between us, my hands settling on her waist.

I heard her breath catch and she rested her hands against my chest. "I - uh - well -"

"Just say thank you." I whispered against her lips.

"Thank you," she whispered, before I leaned down the rest of the way and kissed her.

She slid her hands up until they rested on my shoulders, and then moved her hands up into my hair, while I slid my hands around to the exposed skin of her back.

I loved the way she felt. Her skin was smooth and warm and I just couldn't get over how perfectly she fit into my arms.

I'd think about how fucked up that was later.

Right now I was more interested in what her tongue was doing.

She moaned and the sound went straight south, and I knew I had to quit before I ended up walking into the Ball with a fucking boner.

That would not be happening.

I pulled back slightly and looked at her kiss swollen lips, and I had to smirk.

"What?" she asked softly.

"You look like you've been thoroughly snogged."

"I have been." she said with a smirk.

"Come on, we should go before people get suspicious."

She nodded and followed me out.

When we walked into the Great Hall we immediately parted without a word, her walking over to join Weasley, and me walking over to Blaise and Theo.

" - surprised she pulled it off."

"Surprised who pulled what off?" I asked.

Blaise smirked and nodded over toward Granger, "Her, she looks bloody brilliant, and none of us saw it coming. I mean look at everyone, they're literally staring at _Granger_. Who would have thought?"

I didn't know how I felt about all these other guys looking at what I knew I had no right to claim, but still did. At least in my head.

And in the Common Room.

Not that I could say _that_ to Theo and Blaise.

So I simply nodded, "Yeah, she looks pretty hot I guess. So where's Lovegood?"

My change of topic seemed to fit Blaise nicely and he smirked, "Right over there. I'm just waiting for the perfect moment."

I rolled my eyes. "When she's alone."

"Exactly."

"I don't know how well that's going to work. Her and Granger are like inseparable lately."

To prove my point I nodded my head in Granger's direction just as she and Luna started dancing together, Weasley watching on with a smile on his face.

A smile that was no doubt for Granger and how great she looked in her dress.

I was having a fairly good time, and that's when I realized exactly what had been missing - at the exact moment she was screeching my name.

"Drakey!"

My mood darkened, but I turned to her nonetheless.

"Hey Pans."

She looked good I suppose. She had on some tight short blue dress that showed a little too much cleavage for me to be completely comfortable.

Which was stupid considering I'd shagged her on more than one occasion, so I'd definitely seen more of her than this.

But still.

"Can you believe what that whore is wearing?" she said.

And I already knew I wouldn't care. She gossiped like it was her fucking _job._

"Who?" I asked anyway.

"Who do you think?" she snapped, "Granger."

I don't know what my facial expression showed, but it clearly wasn't what she had wanted.

"Don't tell me you think that slag looks good."

I sighed, "Nobody thinks she looks good Pansy. Everybody thinks she looks hot. And she does."

Her face transformed into a scowl I'd seen many times, and I knew she was going to make a scene.

"That _mudblood_ is not hot. She's just an attention grabbing whore."

My eyes flicked over to Granger, who had obviously heard what Pansy had said.

"Oh really? And what are you pugface?" she snapped, walking over to us, Weaslette, Potter, Lovegood, and Weasley in tow.

"I'm sorry, were you talking to me?" asked Pansy, a fake smile on her face.

Granger laughed, "That's right, I forgot you were a bit stupid. Let me try it this way." she leaned forward and started pronouncing her words slowly, "I said, 'Oh really? And what. Are. You. Pugface'?"

"I know you're not calling me a whore Mudblood."

Granger just rolled her eyes "Well if the 'fuck me pumps' fit, wear them."

They had attracted a crowd, and quite a few people were laughing at Granger's quick comeback, including Blaise and Theo.

Okay, and me.

"At least I _get_ fucked, you prudish bitch."

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know guys liked to play with _used toys._ I'll have to rethink my way of living." she said, a smile on her face.

More people broke out into laughter, and I could tell Pansy was pissed.

"I may be a whore, but at least I'm a whore with parents."

At that, it seemed like everyone in the room froze.

Even _I_ thought that was low. And that was saying something.

"You bitch. How dare you -"

"Ginny don't." Granger interrupted softly, "She's really not even worth it."

Without sparing anyone a second glance, she disappeared out the Great Hall doors.

Then everything seemed to happen at once.

One second Pansy was standing by me, and the next Weaslette was on top of her, punching her and pulling her hair.

And then Weasley was in _my_ face for some reason.

"Maybe you should get a leash for your dog." he snapped.

I shoved him away from me while saying, "She's not my anything Weasel, so how about you back the fuck off."

I saw Lovegood slip from the room, probably going to find - and console - Granger.

Weasley was about to say something else when Potter grabbed his arm and Headmistress McGonagall was yelling for everyone to be quiet.

"Miss Weasley, Miss Parkinson, I do hope you've got a good reason to be _fighting_ in the middle of this formal Ball."

Weaslette stood up and scowled at Pansy, "If she hadn't insulted my best friend, I wouldn't have."

" _I_ insulted her? She called me a whore!"

"Because you called her one! And then threw her being parentless back in her face you no good bi -"

"That's quite enough Miss Weasley. Both of you to my office so we can sort this out. Everyone else, I suggest you behave, or there won't _be_ another Ball."

With that she left, Weaslette and Pansy in tow, and the dance slowly picked up again.

Potter and Weasley had disappeared, not that I had time to wonder where they went because Blaise and Theo were walking up to me.

"Dude, what the hell was that?" asked Theo.

"Pansy talking shit. What else is new?" I said, trying to wave it off as nothing.

"Yeah, but Red never started a fight with her about it." said Blaise.

"I don't know. Look I'm really not feeling this anymore. I'm just going to go to bed."

Something in my face seemed to show that I really _didn't_ want to be there, and they let me go.

The only thing on my mind when I was headed up to the Common Room was what I was going to say to Granger - or if I should say anything at all.

Fuck, this was going to be hard.

* * *

**HPOV**

I told everyone to get out.

And I meant it.

I didn't want _any of them_ there.

I didn't want them to see me freak out. I didn't want them to see me break down.

I didn't want _any of it._

When I got them to leave I went straight to the couch.

"Accio Fire Whiskey."

A moment later a mostly full bottle of Fire Whiskey flew into my hand.

I halfway wondered how Malfoy always seemed to have a steady supply of this, but I didn't really care. Not now.

I took a big swig, enjoying the burn as it slid down my throat.

I knew Pansy was low, and I knew she would say just about anything, but I never thought she'd throw _that_ back in my face.

I never expected _anyone_ to throw that back in my face.

I was so caught up in my thoughts that I didn't hear the portrait open.

"Granger?"

"Go away."

I heard Malfoy sigh before walking over to me, and kneeling down in front of me.

"No," and then he snatched the bottle out of my hand and vanished it.

"Malfoy what the he -"

"That's not going to help you." he said, his grey eyes holding mine.

"Leave me alone."

"No, your friends might be easy to get rid of, but me? Not so much Granger."

I stood up and walked over to the stairs, but he grabbed my arm and pushed me up against the wall.

"I'm sorry about what Pansy said."

"Shut up." I said. I didn't want to start crying. Not in front of him.

"It was wrong. And she had no right." he said, his hands holding my arms pinned against the wall so I couldn't go anywhere.

"Stop it Malfoy."

"No, because you obviously need to talk about it." he said.

"I don't need to talk about anything."

"Yeah, you do."

"Oh what the hell do you know about it? You never talk about _anything_ that means _anything_ to you. So please don't try and pretend to know what's best for me." I snapped, trying to tug my arms away from him.

No such luck.

"Your parents are gone Granger, and it's okay to be pissed about it, it's okay to be sad, but you need to feel _something._ "

"You think I don't feel anything?"

"Of course you do. You just don't express it."

"Oh and you do?"

"It's not my thing." he said easily.

"Oh, but it's supposed to be mine?"

"Yeah, because it seems like you need it." he said softly.

And that's when I broke down.

First it was one tear, but then it was more, and then I was crying, and somehow I'd ended up in Malfoy's arms.

He ran his hand up and down my back, whispering sweet nothings in my ear, but never acting like it made him uncomfortable.

When I finally managed to calm down, I pulled away from him, but he didn't loosen his hold on my waist.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be." he said, studying my face intently.

I must look horrible.

"This is insane." he said softly.

So softly, in fact, that I'm positive he hadn't meant it for me to hear.

"What's insane?" I asked back, just as quietly.

He paused for a moment, running his fingers over my still wet cheeks, "You look beautiful, even when you're a mess."

My heart stopped.

Literally, I think I was legally dead for a good ten seconds.

Malfoy had just called me beautiful. And I looked like shit. I _had_ to look like shit. I'd just been crying.

"Granger,"

But I didn't let him finish. I leaned forward and closed the space between our lips, and he reacted immediately, his hands moving to my waist and pushing me back further into the wall.

And as I felt his lips ghost across my neck, the only thing I could think - aside from how amazing it felt - was that something had happened tonight. Something big.

And I was pretty sure I liked where it was going.

Especially if he kept kissing me like that.

Oh yeah.

Whatever happened tonight was _definitely_ a good thing.


	8. Chapter 8

**DPOV**

Well it was official.

I liked Granger.

I _like_ liked Granger.

But I guess that's not the _worst_ thing that could have happened. I mean hell, it could have been Pansy.

Ugh, no. I didn't even want to go there.

But I wasn't the only one, because it seemed like Granger liked me too, I mean why wouldn't she...right? I mean she kissed me back, and she flirted just as much as I did, and I knew she thought I didn't notice her staring at me in class.

Then again the only reason I knew she was staring was because I was staring too.

But that just wasn't the point.

She had it just as bad as I did.

I hoped.

Everything seemed to have changed ever since the night of the Ball two weeks ago. I don't know why I'd said it out loud to Granger that night, but apparently it had been the right thing to do.

And I guess I didn't regret it.

I was just...confused. Then again I could only imagine how Granger must have felt about it. Still felt about it I guess.

I shook my head and focused back on Slughorn, trying to pay attention to the potion we were about to be making.

A few rows in front of me three Slytherin kids were messing with a few Gryffindor kids, and apparently it got to the point where Slughorn couldn't ignore it, and he snapped.

"Enough. This rivalry is getting to be ridiculous! Today I'm assigning partners, and you _will not_ be with someone from your House."

Complaints broke out across the room, and I couldn't help but look over at the Golden Trio. Weasley had a scowl on his face, Potter didn't look particularly happy, but Granger seemed like she wasn't paying attention. Which was weird, considering she was the one who paid the _most_ attention.

Slughorn started naming off people, and then everyone was shifting seats. Pavarti got paired with Theo, Blaise got paired with Potter, Weasley got paired with Pansy, and -

"Draco Malfoy and Hermione Granger."

Of course.

Not that I was really complaining.

Weasley opened his mouth to protest, but Granger just shot him a look and stood up, walking over to my table and putting her things down.

"Hey," she said softly.

"Hey,"

Just then Pansy 'coughed', "Whore,"

I saw Granger tense beside me, but she didn't say anything back to her.

"Oh, nothing smart to say today Mudblood?" she asked again, leaning forward so only Granger and I could hear her.

Granger didn't even look at her, just kept her eyes forward on Slughorn.

Pansy didn't like being ignored apparently, because she smacked Granger's hand that her cheek was resting on, and snapped, "I'm talking to you."

Just then _I_ snapped, "Pansy, back the fuck off."

"Oh, coming to the Mudblood's rescue now are you? You should be ashamed of -"

"No, you should be. So now shut up, and leave her alone."

Pansy opened and closed her mouth, before flipping me off and leaning back in her chair.

Granger let go of a breath I hadn't realized she'd been holding, and looked over at me, just as Slughorn dismissed us to start on the potion.

"Thank you," she said softly.

Not that she needed to thank me. Pansy had been getting on my nerves, and ever since the dance last week she'd been an especially big bitch to Granger, and I didn't like that.

I was protective of her, almost to the point of punching my bloody _friends_ for noticing how sexy she was, so for Pansy to keep screwing with her...it just wasn't going to fly with me.

Wow. It was obviously getting less and less weird for me to think about her in...that way.

I shook my head and looked at her, "You're welcome."

"Well we should probably get started." she said, scooting her chair so she sat a bit closer to me.

"I don't bite Granger," I whispered, yanking her chair so she sat directly next to me, and I could rest my hand on her leg.

I saw a blush splash onto her cheeks when she replied, "I happen to know that you do bite."

"True," I dropped my voice lower, "But I know you love it."

She blushed further and flicked her eyes between Potter, Weasley, and I.

"They're not paying any attention to us Granger."

"We're supposed to be working on the potion."

"We can do the potion in half the time that it would take all these other people. I think we have time to have some fun." I said with a smirk.

Her eyes widened and her cheeks flushed pink again, "We're in a classroom full of people. Are you crazy?"

I chuckled, deciding to go easy on her, considering we hadn't actually done anything more than me _trying_ to get her to relax enough so we could fool around with less clothing on, but no such luck.

 _Yet,_ anyway.

"Alright, come on. What do we have to do?"

I spent the rest of class doing exactly what Granger told me to - mostly - and when the bell rang she gathered her things and left with Potter and Weasley.

"What the hell was that?"

I groaned. I did not want to be dealing with Pansy right now.

"Go away,"

"No. I deserve an explanation. We've been friends for _years_ Draco. What gives?"

I stood up, slinging my bag over my shoulder, "You've been acting different Pans, and I don't like it. I want to be friends, sure. But I don't want you to take that the wrong way and think I want to shag you, because I don't."

"It's because of that -"

"No, it's not." I said, and it was the truth. "Blaise and Theo aren't bitching at her, so why are you?"

"Because she's beneath -"

"No, she's not. I think you're just worried because you've finally found someone who's prettier than you."

And with that I left Slughorn's class, heading straight upstairs to the Common Room to get started on all the homework assignments I had.

On the up side, it was Friday.

I opened the door and stepped into the Common Room to find Hermione sitting on the ground in front of the couch, books spread out in front of her, and she was scribbling away on a piece of parchment.

"How doesn't your hand hurt?" I asked, really curious.

She chuckled and put the quill down, flexing her fingers.

"It kind of does, now that you mention it."

I walked over to her and dropped my bag onto the ground, and took my seat next to her.

"Give me your hand."

"Why?"

"You don't trust me?" I asked, pretending to be offended.

She laughed, "Not at all."

But she placed her hand in mine anyway, watching me closely.

I whispered a warming spell to heat up my hands and then, before I could think about what the hell I was doing this for, I started massaging her hand.

For a moment she tensed up, but a second later she relaxed.

"Where'd you learn how to do this?"

I shrugged and kept doing what I was doing.

A few moments later she chuckled and pulled her hand away, "You keep doing that and I'm going to want you to do that more often."

I smirked, "Turn around and take your jacket off."

"What, why?"

"Just do it."

She rolled her eyes but did what I asked.

I really should stop being so surprised when I did things for her, because it wasn't all that uncommon now.

I moved my hands to her shoulders and lightly started massaging her. I probably would have been okay had the witch not _moaned._

I paused and I could already tell she was embarrassed.

"I'm sorry," she mumbled, pulling away from me to pick up her quill again, but I wasn't having it.

"Relax, it's supposed to feel good Granger." I said smoothly.

She was still tense, but didn't say anything, instead focusing on her fingers twisting in her lap.

"Granger," I said again, my hands moving against her shoulders again, "Relax."

"I am relaxed."

"No you're not."

She sighed, and I felt her relax her shoulders, "Good job Princess." I said with a smirk.

"Don't condescend to me you little -"

Before she could start ranting about whatever horrible thing I was this time, I turned her head and kissed her. Not that she seemed to mind.

Her hands immediately went to my hair as she twisted around to face me, and I slid mine to her hips.

I tugged her blouse out of her skirt and placed my hands on the soft skin of her lower back, eliciting a moan from her. I took that to my advantage and slid my tongue into her mouth.

Weirdly enough, the kiss wasn't rushed like it usually was, it was slow. Like we had all the time in the world. And maybe, just for today, we did.

I pulled her so that she was sitting on my lap, her legs on either side of my hips, and she pulled away from my lips, surprise clear on her face.

"You okay?" I asked, just wanting to be kissing her again.

She nodded and leaned forward, capturing my lips in a searing kiss.

 _Fuck_ this witch was driving me crazy.

I felt her hands moving over the buttons on my shirt and it took me a second to realize that she was unbuttoning it.

I mean sure, she'd seen me shirtless before, but never because _she'd_ wanted to.

I groaned when I felt her nails lightly scrape down my chest, and as soon as she pushed my shirt onto the ground I moved my hands to the buttons on hers.

It took me significantly less time to get her blouse unbuttoned, and then I tossed it onto the ground to join my shirt.

I moved my hands to her chest and my lips to her neck, kissing and nipping the sensitive skin there.

The little moans that were escaping her lips were making it harder for me to keep myself in check, because every little noise went straight to my groin.

She pulled my lips back to hers, and I unclasped her bra, pausing to pull back and look at her.

"Is this okay?"

I had never in my life asked a girl that question, yet here I was asking Granger for the _second_ time in ten minutes.

She nodded, "Yes,"

I groaned at the sight of her breasts. She really was perfect. I leaned forward and kissed her again, sliding my tongue into her mouth while my hands massaged her breasts.

She moaned into my mouth and I felt my pants tighten even more at the sound.

Meanwhile her hands wandered up and down my chest and shoulders, before settling in my hair and pulling.

I groaned and slid my hands down to her waist, lifting her up and putting her down on the couch so I was on top of her between her legs.

She smiled and pulled me down to kiss her again, while her other hand slid down my chest to the bulge in my pants, her small hand rubbing over me through the material.

I groaned and grabbed her hand, "Granger,"

"Malfoy,"

She held my gaze, her toffee eyes unwavering.

"We should stop." And even as I said it I knew I didn't want that to happen.

She blinked a few times, but then shoved me back so she could get up.

"Whatever Malfoy." she slid back into her bra and grabbed her shirt, but before she could pull it on I yanked her down so she was sitting on my lap, both legs over mine.

"Granger," I said, forcing her to look at me, "What's wrong?"

"What's wrong?" she repeated, "If you don't want to do... _this_ with me, then just tell me."

"Are you fucking _insane_? How could I _not_ want that - you?" I asked.

There wasn't a day that went by that I didn't think about pushing her up against a wall, or throwing her down onto my bed - but Granger wasn't like that.

Hell, she probably hadn't even had sex before.

"Well you did just tell me that we should stop."

"Yeah, because I don't trust myself around you."

"What the hell does that mean?" she asked, frowning.

"Seriously?" I asked, eyebrow raised, "You look incredible every second of the day, and then to have you here underneath me..." I shook my head and continued, "I don't want you to do something you'll regret later."

She looked away from me, and then nodded, "Okay,"

I leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her cheek and she smiled, which somehow made me smile too.

Merlin, I really was in deep.

She slid off my lap so that her legs were still draped over mine, but she was laying down on the couch.

We were quiet for a moment before I broke the silence.

"What's another place you want to go?"

She smiled, "Norway,"

"Really? We have a -"

"House there. I know. You have a house everywhere." she said with a chuckle.

I rolled my eyes and slid my hand up and down her leg, but never past her knee. "Why?"

"Why do you have a house everywhere?"

I laughed, "No, why do you want to go to Norway?"

She got a far away look on her face before she answered me, "It's where my parents went for their honeymoon."

It was moments like this that I often realized that there was a lot I didn't know about Granger. Mostly about her parents and what life was like for her before they'd been killed.

"I'll take you there too." I said, not sure if I mean it, but it made her smile so it didn't matter.

"You're insane," she said, reaching for her sketch book.

I never really saw her draw ever since the incident where she drew her parents and burned the drawing in the fireplace.

"What are you working on?" I asked as she sat up and began moving her pencil over the paper.

She looked up at me and smiled, but it looked a bit sad - but what did I know.

"My mom," she said, turning the sketch pad around so that I could see a woman who looked pretty similar to Hermione.

"You're really good at that." I said, and I meant it.

"Thank you."

She studied the drawing for a moment, her eyes no doubt seeing a lot of herself looking back at her.

"She was beautiful." I said, before I could stop myself.

Her eyes widened and she looked up at me, "You think so?"

I nodded, "Yeah, you look a lot like her."

She took a deep breath and blinked a few times, "Thank you," she said quietly.

* * *

**HPOV**

"Are you sure we should be doing this?"

"Of course we should! It'll be fine."

I was still doubtful as I followed Luna into the kitchen, but really, who could blame me? I was almost a hundred percent sure that we were _not_ allowed in the kitchen.

"Okay my future baker friend, let's make this cake." said Luna, clapping her hands together.

"Future baker?" I asked, as I busied myself with getting the ingredients out.

Luna nodded, "Yeah, you're too good not to become one."

"You already know I'm going to work at Buxom and Brant."

But now that she'd mentioned it, I could almost see it. Me owning my own bakery, doing something that I loved to do everyday.

"Yeah, yeah, we'll see." Was all she said before she came to stand next to me.

"Where'd you come up with this cake anyway?"

I shrugged, "I got bored a few years ago over summer break and I spent most of the time in the kitchen trying to come up with cakes that didn't suck."

When Luna raised an eyebrow I elaborated, "My mom loved baking, and she always created these masterpieces, and I wanted to be just like her."

"Ohh," said Luna, nodding her head, "Well the world owes your mom a thank you if you ever do decide to open your bakery."

I just rolled my eyes and continued putting the ingredients into the bowl.

After a few minutes we fell into easy conversation, like we always did, and she helped me mix ingredients.

"Can you pass me the flour?"

"Sure," she said, flicking her wand.

I assumed that her intent had been to float the flour over to us from the opposite counter, but what ended up happening was it exploded.

All. Over. Me.

For a moment there was silence, but then Luna was apologizing.

"Oh Merlin, Hermione I'm _so_ sorry! I didn't mean -"

But she didn't get to finish because I started laughing, and before long she was laughing, and with in a few moments we were both almost in tears.

"You look like Casper the Friendly Ghost!" she choked out between gasps of air.

I laughed harder and reached over, grabbed an egg off the counter, and cracked it over her head.

I laughed even harder, watching as the goo slid down her cheek.

"You got it in my hair!" said Luna, laughing even harder.

Once our laughter had died down enough, I was able to say, "I've heard it's good for your hair."

We chuckled some more and then I grabbed my wand, "Scourgify."

Seconds later we were clean, and the mess from the flour had been cleaned up.

We spent the next fifteen minutes finishing up the cake batter, and then I slid it into the oven.

"If you have magic, why don't you just make a cake magically?"

I hopped onto the counter before answering, "It tastes better if you make it by hand. Plus it's fun."

Luna smiled, "And messy."

I chuckled in agreement.

"So what's going on with you and Malfoy?"

I tried to keep any emotion off my face, though I'm not really sure if I succeeded or not. "Nothing, he's just my roommate."

I should have known not to lie to Luna, considering she always seemed to know more than she led on, but luckily she didn't call me on it.

"Well did he say anything to you the night of the Halloween Ball?"

"Kind of. Well he apologized to me for Pansy." I said, trying to choose my words carefully.

At least it wasn't a lie. He really had apologized for Pansy's behavior.

Luna smiled, "I knew he'd changed."

"Yeah...he has." I said slowly.

She opened her mouth to say something else, but just then the timer for the cake went off.

Saved by the bell.

I hopped off the counter and pulled the cake out.

"Ohh!" squealed, "That smells amazing."

"Just wait till you taste it."

I cast a cooling charm and then conjured some chocolate icing.

After I spread the icing over the cake Luna pulled out a knife and we cut two pieces.

"Ugh, I'm in heaven." she said, taking another bite of the cake.

I chuckled and we finished off our pieces.

"What are we going to do with the rest of it?" she asked.

"Leave it for the elves." I said with a smile.

She chuckled, but agreed and we headed out of the kitchen, being careful not to wake anyone up. Even though Luna was a Prefect, and I was Head Girl, I still doubted that would save us from getting in trouble at one o'clock in the morning.

We walked together for as long as we could, but eventually had to go separate ways, her to the Ravenclaw rooms, and me to the Head's rooms.

I whispered the password and stepped into the common room, trying to be quiet. I had no idea if Malfoy was here or not. I never did know where he spent his free time, and I didn't really care. It didn't come up.

I heard muffled voices coming from his bedroom and rolled my eyes. I'd been wondering when he'd start bringing girls into his room again.

I didn't know how to feel about it.

I mean I definitely wouldn't keep making out with him if he was going around shagging other girls, but I wasn't going to go cry into my pillow about.

Even though it _had_ seemed like we'd had a moment the night of the Halloween Ball when he'd called me beautiful. But this was Malfoy, and he never really meant anything he said.

Then again I didn't even know if that was true.

In all honesty, I really didn't know anything about him.

Ignoring the voices, I couldn't make out what they were saying anyway, I threw my shoes into my room and changed into shorts and a tank top, before walking back downstairs with my sketch pad.

I dropped the sketch pad onto the couch and walked into the kitchen, putting a kettle on the stove.

I sat back down on the couch when I remembered I'd left my iPod upstairs.

"Accio iPod."

A few seconds later my iPod landed in my hand. I put the headphones in my ears and walked back into the kitchen, pouring my tea into a cup and walking back into the living room.

I moved over to the window seat, looking out over part of Hogwarts grounds, mainly the lake and the Forbidden Forest.

I pulled my pencil out of the messy bun on my head, and opened up my sketch pad to a new page.

I began sketching the scene in front of me, and soon enough I had zoned out, losing myself in the music and in my art.

In the back of my mind I hoped that the drawing would be what it had started out as, and not end up being some terrible war scene, but the thought wasn't at the forefront of my mind.

Thirty minutes later I heard the door to Malfoy's room open and then I heard heels clicking down the stairs.

I glanced up and saw Pansy.

As soon as she saw me she scowled, and like I assumed she would, she stopped.

"Thanks to you and your little ginger friend I'm serving a month of detention."

"Am I supposed to feel bad for you?" I asked, focusing back down on my drawing.

Thank Merlin, it was exactly what I'd intended to draw.

Apparently Pansy wasn't done talking though, "It's polite to look at someone when they're talking to you." she snapped, raising her voice.

I didn't look up at her as I said, "But that would make you think that I actually cared about what you were saying."

"You stupid little -"

"Pansy," snapped Malfoy, walking down the stairs.

"What? It's her fault I'm stuck with that ginger bitch for a whole month cleaning. _Cleaning_."

"I thought you were leaving?" he asked, ignoring her previous statement entirely.

She opened and closed her mouth, and she kind of reminded me of a fish out of water, before she made a weird strangled noise in the back of her throat, and then stormed out, slamming the door behind her.

"I'm sorry about that. I didn't know you were here. I figured you'd be staying with Weaslette or Lovegood since you didn't come here..." he said, trailing off awkwardly.

I shrugged, "Luna and I were busy. Apparently you were too."

I had no idea where that snarky comment came from, because he didn't owe me anything, nor I him. But still, _Pansy_ of all people. Ew.

"What?"

"Nothing," I said, shaking my head.

"Nothing happened with her, if that's what you were trying to imply." he said with a smirk.

"I didn't say that."

"Exactly, it was an implication." he said, sitting down on the couch.

"Whatever Malfoy," I said, rolling my eyes.

"I told her what she said to you wasn't okay." he said after we'd been sitting in silence for a few minutes.

I closed my sketch pad and stood up, stretching my arms above my head.

"I'm sure she took that well." I said, walking over to sit on the other couch.

But before I got there Malfoy grabbed my hand and pulled me down onto the couch he was sitting on.

"What are you doing?" I asked, still irritated by Pansy's bullshit.

"Helping you forget about her." he said, before leaning down to kiss me.

His lips were perfect. Literally there wasn't anything that I didn't like about them.

Now there was plenty I didn't like about him, but it was really hard to remember that when his tongue was in my mouth.

I sighed and just let myself get carried away by his touch.

There was no reason to be upset that he had Pansy up in his room. I mean it wasn't a surprise, they'd shagged before.

Plus he'd said that nothing had happened upstairs - aside from him sticking up for me.

Which was sweet, especially since he didn't have to do that.

The question was, why did he?

I slid my hands into his hair and ignored the question. It didn't matter why he did what he did. It wasn't my problem. The only thing we were for each other was this. Right here, right now.

This is what we did for each other. We distracted one another, we lost ourselves in each other.

And that was good enough for us.

Right?

* * *

_But it wasn't good enough. Not for either one of them. And sooner or later they were going to realize it. The question was, what were they going to do about it?_


	9. Chapter 9

**HPOV**

I had a problem.

A _big_ problem.

I had a big problem and I had absolutely no idea what to do about it, or how to fix it.

I was drawing Malfoy.

Not while he was paying attention, and not when he was there, but whenever I'd get bored and just doodle, it would turn out to be him.

And the most annoying part was that it never turned out _right_. I couldn't seem to draw him from memory, and that bothered me.

It shouldn't though, that was also annoying.

I glared down at the latest drawing of him and crumpled it up, tossing it into the fireplace.

"You've been doing that a lot lately."

I jumped and slammed my sketchbook closed, "You scared me."

"I noticed." said Malfoy with a smirk.

He came and sat down on the couch, motioning for me to sit by him.

I rolled my eyes, but stood up nonetheless and walked over to him.

I didn't know what came over me, but instead of sitting next to him, I straddled his waist, surprising the both of us.

"Whoa there Princess," he said with a smirk, his hands sliding to my waist.

I smiled and brought my lips down to his, not giving him time to finish his thought.

His grip on my waist tightened when I slowly began grinding against him, our tongues exploring one another's mouths.

"Granger, what are you doing?" asked Malfoy, pulling away from me.

I didn't answer him, instead moving my lips to his neck, feeling the vibrations against my lips when he groaned.

"Granger, you should probably tell me how far you want to go."

I paused and sat up, looking at him. How far _did_ I want to go?

"Farther than we've gone before."

He smirked, and the answer seemed to suffice for him, because the next thing I knew I was on my back with Malfoy hovering over me.

"Here's the thing Princess," he said, his lips kissing and nipping at my throat, "I like to be in charge."

I couldn't help but groan at his words, and honestly I didn't care who was in charge as long as he never ever took his lips off my body.

Of all the things I hated about the annoying bastard above me, his lips - or his skill with them - were not one of them.

I tangled my hands into his hair and he slid his hands under my shirt, slowly sliding them up to cup my breasts and pinch and tease my nipples through the fabric.

I moaned before I could stop myself, and I felt Malfoy smirk against my lips.

But never one to be outdone, I slid my hand over the quickly forming bulge in his boxers repeatedly.

Malfoy tensed for a second before making the sexiest noise I'd ever heard. He sat up and pulled off his shirt, and then mine, wasting no time in ridding me of my bra either.

He leaned down and took one of my nipples into his mouth, licking, biting, and sucking, while his other hand massaged my other breast. He continued this until I was writhing underneath him, panting.

"Malfoy, please."

I didn't know what I was asking for, but apparently he did.

He began kissing his way down my stomach to the waistband of my skirt, before sliding it off and spreading my legs.

I immediately felt self-conscious, and went to close my legs but he stopped me.

"Don't," he said, his hand moving up and down the inside of my thigh like a caress, "Just relax."

He moved so he was lying next to me, and began kissing me again, and then I felt his fingers slowly rubbing me through my quickly dampening panties.

I tried to suppress a moan as his fingers moved over my clit, but I couldn't stop my hips from moving against his hand. It just felt so _good_.

"I want to hear you Granger. Tell me how it feels." he whispered against my lips, before moving down to suck on my neck.

I opened my mouth, but just then his hand was inside my panties and one of his long, slender fingers was inside me.

I couldn't help the moan that escaped me that time, and I felt Malfoy's satisfied smirk against my neck.

"Tell me Granger," he said again, his finger moving in and out of me at a slow pace.

I'd never been one for talking, but the sound of Malfoy's voice...it was it's own kind of erotic.

"It feels -" I took in a sharp breath as he slid a second finger into me and curled his fingers up to hit my g-spot, "Good,"

He kissed me, his tongue exploring my mouth and swallowing more of my moans as his fingers moved faster.

I could feel myself getting close, but just as I was about to fall off the edge he removed his fingers.

I groaned, but he just chuckled, "Patience Princess, I know what I'm doing."

I couldn't doubt that. How many girls had he even been with?

Ugh, Hermione stop. That is so not the train of thought to be having right now.

Instead I watched as he moved down and slid my panties from my legs, spread them, and then moved his face so he was level with the evidence of how badly I wanted him.

Not that the tent in his pants went unnoticed by me.

I still felt self-conscious with him there, in such a private place, but I forgot all about that when he opened his mouth.

"Do you know how fucking sexy you look right now?"

He slid a finger over my clit, and around my opening, but didn't do anything else.

"Tell me what you want me to do."

I groaned, I never was good at the whole speaking during situations like this, because it was just...uncomfortable.

"Malfoy,"

"Tell me." he said again, his silver eyes boring into my toffee ones as his thumb began slowly rubbing my clit.

"Touch me,"

"How?"

"How ever you want."

"So if I wanted to touch you like this?" he asked, sliding two fingers inside me and pumping them in and out slowly, rubbing against me so perfectly.

I couldn't form words so I just nodded and focused on the ceiling. Looking at him between my legs was too much.

"What about if I wanted to touch you like this?"

His fingers continued to move in and out of me, but all of a sudden his tongue was on my clit. I was so surprised - and sensitive from almost coming earlier - that my back arched and I let out an embarrassingly loud moan.

"That's right Granger, I want to hear you." he said, before bringing his tongue back down to my clit, flicking it repeatedly and then sucking it into his mouth.

I could feel myself getting close again, and this time it didn't seem like he had any intention of stopping.

I laced my hands into his silky blonde hair and started mumbling things that sounded like gibberish.

"Let go," he whispered, only removing his mouth for a second before it was back.

I was close, so very close, and I pulled his hair, causing him to groan. The vibrations went straight to my clit, and I tensed up, my orgasm washing over me.

* * *

**DPOV**

I felt Granger's body tense, and then she was coming, and I'd be damned if I said I'd ever seen anything hotter than that in my life.

It also dawned on me that I'd just made _Hermione Granger_ orgasm. _With my mouth._

I kissed my way back up her body and caught her lips in a kiss, surprised that she didn't push me away. If anything she kissed me harder.

And then, before I knew it, I was on my back, and Granger was pulling down my pants and my boxers.

"What are you - _fuck_." I hissed.

She began moving her small hand up and down my hard cock at a slow pace.

"Now how about you tell _me_ how it feels." she said, a smirk on her face as she watched me.

I couldn't believe how incredibly erotic she sounded, repeating my words back to me.

She began moving her hand up and down faster, her thumb sliding over the head and causing me to buck up into her hand and groan.

Why the _fuck_ did that feel so good?

"Tell me," she said again.

"Fucking amazing." I managed to get out.

She smiled, and then all of a sudden I felt her warm wet mouth wrapped around my cock.

"Bloody hell Granger," I mumbled, my hand lacing into her unruly mass of curls.

She began bobbing her head up and down faster, her hand keeping time with her mouth, and I swear to Merlin I'd never felt anything this good before in my life.

I would process the fact that Granger was the one who was making me feel like this later.

Preferably when her mouth _wasn't_ giving me an obscene amount of pleasure.

I could feel myself getting close, and _damn_ it was a good feeling.

"Fuck Granger, I'm close."

She pulled away for a moment, her hand still moving up and down my member, "Then come,"

With that she brought her mouth back down to my cock, and a few pumps later I came into her mouth with a groan.

She released me from her mouth with a _pop_ and before she could go anywhere I pulled her down on top of me and kissed her.

I had never in my fucking life kissed a girl after she'd went down on me.

What the hell was happening?

I pushed the thought out of my head and focused on her. I tangled my hands into her hair and slid my tongue into her mouth, while her hands were flat on my chest and she was straddling me.

This probably wasn't the best position to be in considering I could already feel myself getting hard all over again.

I pulled away from her and I could see the blush that tinted her cheeks.

"Are you embarrassed?"

Her eyes widened slightly and she attempted to move off of me, but I just tightened my grip on her waist.

"Sorry Princess, but I'm not letting you run away. Especially not now." I said with a smirk.

She bit her lip, and that just made me want her that much more.

"Don't do that."

"Do what?"

"Bite your lip."

"Why?"

"Because it makes me want to fuck you senseless." I answered honestly, enjoying the blush that followed.

At least she did what I asked and stopped biting her lip.

"Does it make you uncomfortable, to be here like this?"

I knew it did, but I enjoyed getting a rise out of her.

Well that and the fact that her naked body was pressed up against me.

"Yes! Okay? Yes it makes me uncomfortable. Can I get up now?" she said, clearly exasperated.

"I rather like having you on top of me like this Granger." I said, dropping my voice lower.

She bit her lip, but quickly remembered what I said and stopped, "What do you want me to say Malfoy?"

"That you loved it." I said with a smirk.

"I loved it." she answered easily.

"Really?" I didn't mean to sound as surprised as I did, but I couldn't help it. I didn't think she'd actually say it.

"Yes really." she said, "Now let go."

Instead of letting her go I pulled her down to kiss me again, but this time it was languid and unrushed, and I actually kind of liked it that way.

I felt her relax against me and I loved that I could distract her like this.

Whoa. Hold on.

Did I just say I _loved_ that I could distract Granger?

Bloody hell.

I really did have it bad.

* * *

**HPOV**

I had to tell somebody, but there wasn't anybody.

I mean I loved my friends to death, but there was no way they'd understand what I'd done with Malfoy. I mean it wasn't like this was the first time we'd messed around, but it was certainly the first time we'd gone that far, and somehow it seemed different.

Like this was something I really should have been blabbing about to Ginny or Luna, but it wasn't and I couldn't. And I wouldn't honestly, because Malfoy wouldn't want that either.

Obviously.

Some things never changed, although I couldn't be too hard on him considering he did stick up for me and apologize, and he did make me feel like I wasn't invisible.

Well in our space he made me feel like that.

And it wasn't like we _never_ spoke in public, we just never spoke like we did when we were alone.

Then again I wouldn't really change that, because it worked.

And again, it wasn't serious enough to deal with the drama that would come from if people found out about this weird little relationship we'd forged for ourselves.

I let out a deep breath and focused at my sketch pad. This time it wasn't Malfoy's face staring back at me, but my fathers.

I hadn't drawn him yet. Not really anyway. I just never seemed to find the perfect memory to draw from. The perfect facial expression that I wanted to immortalize.

But today I had. And it was perfect.

It seemed that some nights the dreams wouldn't be so bad, I mean sure, my parents would die, but they would just fade away.

But I knew better than to get too comfortable. The good dreams never lasted long.

I closed my sketch pad, resolving that I would attempt to draw Malfoy some other time. Maybe I'd even ask his permission.

Yeah right.

That wasn't going to happen.

I stood up and stretched, pushing in my chair and heading out of the library and upstairs to Gryffindor Tower.

I hadn't seen Ginny in a while and I missed her.

Then again she and Harry had been practically attached at the lips for the past month, which left me to hang out with Luna and Ron.

Not that that was a bad thing, but I missed spending time with one of my best friends.

I pushed open the portrait to the Gryffindor Common Room, and immediately spotted Ron sitting on the couch.

I plopped down next to him and smiled, "Where are Ginny and Harry?"

"Upstairs. Again." he said, a bit of a disgusted look on his face.

Not that I could blame him, it was his little sister.

"Well it looks like it's just you and me."

He smiled and we stood up, heading outside to the lake, even though it was probably too cold to be out there for long anyway.

"So how's Lavender?" I asked as we started walking around the lake. There were only a few other people outside.

Not that this was a surprise. It was November after all.

"How should I know? We broke up again."

"What? Why?"

Lavender and Ron had broken up three times since the school year started, and it shouldn't have come as a surprise, but they'd seemed happy last time.

"I don't know. I just - I keep thinking that maybe she's just not the one."

I rolled my eyes, "The one? Ron we're still in school. There's no way any of us would know who the one for us is."

"Harry and Ginny sure seem to know." he said, his voice slightly bitter.

"They think they know, and sure they're happy, but they don't _know_ that they're going to stay together. I mean hell, nobody really knows that Ron. That's one of the many mysteries of life."

He sighed, "I just...sometimes I wish it had been different."

"Wish what had been different?"

"Our relationship."

I forced myself not to sigh. We'd had this conversation already. The story of our not so great relationship. Then again, the war probably wasn't the best place to try and decipher if we had feelings beyond best friends for each other.

It had just been a really hard time, and it had taken it's toll, inevitably ending our short-lived relationship.

I thought we'd moved past it. We'd both decided that we were better off as friends, but it seemed as though maybe Ron had been hoping for more than what I was capable of giving him.

"It's in the past Ron. You need to focus on your future. Now if that's with or without Lavender, that's totally up to you, but" I said, holding his gaze, "That is the _only_ thing that's up to you. Being in a relationship with me isn't a possibility. You're my best friend, but that's all. Okay?"

He nodded sadly, "Yeah, I know."

"Are we okay?"

He smiled then, and I knew before he opened his mouth that everything was okay.

"Yeah, we're okay."

We continued to walk around the lake, talking about George and how he had met a girl he thought he would marry, and how Molly was still on Ron about his grades even though he was technically an adult now - just everything.

By the time we made it back inside it was time for dinner.

We walked into the Great Hall together, and my eyes scanned the room on their own accord, and found Malfoy with a sour look on his face, watching as Ron and I sat down at our table.

I ignored him and focused on my friends. I mean how many times had he and Pansy came into lunch together? I hadn't glared daggers at them.

I mean I hadn't been happy, but I definitely hadn't looked like I was ready to murder someone.

Besides, he and Pansy had slept together _multiple_ times over _multiple_ school years. Ron and I had _never_ slept together. Ever.

The only person I'd actually slept with was Victor Krum back in fifth year.

Not the most horrible experience of my life, but by far not the best. It had just been fine. Not that I'd had anything to compare it to, but it definitely didn't compare to all the hype about sex.

"Where were you guys at today?" asked Ginny.

"Yeah, we came downstairs but you guys weren't there."

Ron snorted, "We figured you two were busy."

"We went for a walk." I said, only halfway focused on the conversation.

"You could have knocked." said Ginny, "I thought we were going to hang out."

"We would have if you and Harry hadn't been busy." I said simply. "It's no big deal. Ron and I got to catch up."

Ron smiled, but Ginny looked miffed.

"Well when are _we_ going to catch up?"

"Whenever you're not busy." I said with a shrug.

Just then the bell signaling dinner was over rang, and I stood up.

"I'll see you guys tomorrow."

I jogged and caught up to Luna. Somehow I'd become more connected to her then Ginny, which was strange.

"Hey,"

"Hey," she said with a smile.

"Do you have a second?"

"Sure,"

I walked with her in the direction of the Ravenclaw Common Rooms, and when there weren't too many people around I started talking.

"I have a boy problem."

"Really?" asked Luna, and I knew I instantly had her attention.

"Yes, really."

"Spill. Who is it?"

"I can't tell you that." I said, looking away from her.

"Why?"

"Because it's...it's just complicated. But that's not the point," I said, trying to focus on what I wanted to talk about, "The point is, I need some advice."

"Let me hear it." she said with a smile.

"If two people are so completely and totally different, is it even possible for them to make a good couple?"

Why the hell I'd used the word couple, I didn't know. Because Malfoy and I were certainly not a couple, and we certainly never would be, but I couldn't deny the fact that I might possibly like the little ferret more than I should.

Although he definitely wasn't little...

"Well of course they can." she answered easily, "Opposites attract. And yeah, you'll have to work on it, but if you two like each other, then there's no reason it wouldn't work."

I nodded slowly, "Thanks Luna."

"Sure thing, but uh...why didn't you go to Ginny with this?"

"We're not really as close as we used to be, what with her spending most of her time with Harry and all."

She nodded, "Yeah, I haven't seen to much of her either, but I guess that's what couples do."

I shrugged and decided to head up to bed. I was surprisingly tired, and all I wanted was to go to sleep.

* * *

**DPOV**

There was no reason why I should be feeling how I was feeling.

And about Granger no less.

I mean really, what the hell was I thinking?

It was probably just because we'd fooled around.

But that had never happened when I'd screwed around with other girls. I'd never felt like doing a lot of things with other girls though, so why was I even still surprised?

I let out a breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding and leaned my head back against the couch.

What was I going to do? Did she feel like this too?

Not that it mattered, there was _nothing_ to be done about any of this.

We were...complicated and undefinable, but whatever it was, was working.

Then again I wished I knew what Granger was thinking. She was so transparent with some things, but not with others.

Like in regards to her feelings for me, it was like she was fucking _opaque_.

It just wasn't fair that the little witch had gotten such a reaction out of me, yet I had no idea how I affected her.

Well no, that wasn't true.

I knew how I affected her physically, the same way she knew how she affected my physically, but mentally - I had no fucking clue.

And it was making me feel like a little school boy with my first crush or something.

Does she like me? Does she think I'm funny? Do I like her more than she likes me?

It must mean I've gone completely fucking crazy because I _do_ liked her. More than I should.

But that wasn't important, not now and maybe not ever.

Because I definitely wasn't going to admit the fact that I liked the stupid bint. That was completely out of the question.

But damn it all, _why_ did I like her?

We argued all the fucking time, we didn't see eye to eye on almost everything, her hair was a mess, she was a know it all, and she was a fucking _Gryffindor._

Then again I liked to rile her up and see the passion in her eyes when she argued something she cared about, I was actually starting to like that wild bush she called hair, and maybe being a Gryffindor was the perfect complement to a Slytherin.

I shook my head.

I was thinking about her like I wanted to be in a _relationship_ with her, and that was completely out of the question...

Wasn't it?

* * *

_And it should have been, but knowing Draco and Hermione, they would find a way around that in time._

_You know, when they stopped denying the obvious._


	10. Chapter 10

**DPOV**

I woke up to the sound of sneezing.

I tried to ignore it - and the coughing - but after ten minutes of trying to shove my head into the pillow to muffle the noise I gave up and got out of bed.

I contemplated putting on a shirt, but figured my pajama bottoms would have to do.

I pushed open my door and walked across the hall to Granger's room - where the coughing was coming from - and knocked on the door.

"Are you dying?"

I heard her muffled laughter and then she came to the door.

I could tell she was sick - but mostly because she sounded like she was dying - because she still looked really good.

She was in sweatpants, an oversized sweater that hung off her left shoulder, and her hair was piled on top of her head with a few strands framing her face.

"I'm sick."

I smirked, "I can see that Granger."

Was it weird that I still wanted to kiss her?

"I'm sorry that I woke you."

I shrugged, "Do you want me to make you some tea?"

Her eyes widened a fraction, not that I could blame her for being surprised, and then she nodded slowly, "Yeah...that'd be nice."

"Alright,"

I turned and walked down the stairs and into the kitchen to start making her tea, and I heard her come down the stairs a few minutes later and walk into the kitchen and stand by the table.

"Why are you doing this?" she asked quietly.

I turned around and faced her, "I have no bloody idea."

She frowned and then shook her head, "I can do that."

She stepped forward, but I caught her waist and stopped her, "I got it Princess."

"But -"

"Granger, I got it."

She smiled and rolled her eyes, "Okay,"

She went to walk into the living room, but I caught her hand and pulled her back.

"Malfoy -"

"You talk too much." I said with a smirk.

"Don't," she said, putting her hand against my chest, "I'll get you sick."

"I don't think I care."

"It'll be suspicious." she argued.

"No it wouldn't. We live together Granger. If you're sick I'll probably get sick too."

She bit her lip and that was all the consent I needed. I leaned forward and pressed my lips against hers in a soft kiss.

I pulled back and saw the blush that spread across her cheeks and smirked.

"Shut up." she said, trying to hide her smile.

She turned around and headed into the living room, but before she did I slapped her arse.

She turned around and flipped me off, and then flopped down onto the couch.

I smirked and got out two cups, not planning on doing much tea drinking when I sat on the couch with her

No, I definitely don't think I would mind getting a cold...

* * *

**HPOV**

I felt like I was dying.

Well not really, but I definitely felt sick, and Malfoy was making me tea.

 _Malfoy_ was making me tea.

How weird.

I sat down on the couch and pulled out my sketch pad, flipping through a few random pictures of the grounds, random scribbles that I knew underneath were messed up drawings of Malfoy, and a few of my parents.

I snapped the sketch pad closed when I heard Malfoy walk into the living room.

"Are you ever going to show me what you're always drawing?" he asked, sitting down next to me and handing me my tea.

"Thank you, and why? Do you want to see them?"

He shrugged, "You're just pretty good at it."

I nodded and took a sip of my tea - he'd made it just the way I always did.

I set the cup down on the table and opened my sketch pad, and before I could really debate it, I handed it to him.

He flipped through the drawings slowly, and I couldn't tell what he thought since he was so good at hiding his expressions.

"You know," he said, pausing on a picture of my mother, "You draw your mum a lot more than you draw your dad."

I nodded, "I just can't seem to get him right as often as I can my mum. There's one of him towards the back though."

He flipped through the pages and came to a stop on the picture of my dad. He studied it thoughtfully for a moment before he said, "You look a lot like your dad."

I shrugged, I never really thought about it much, but I suppose we had a _few_ of the same features.

"Have you still been having those dreams?"

I nodded, "Yeah,"

"I don't know how you do it." he said, shaking his head.

"Do what?"

"Deal with those dreams."

I shrugged, "Nothing I can do about it."

We were quiet for a moment, each of us lost in our own worlds, before he spoke up again, "What do you call what we've been doing Granger?"

The question threw me, but I tried not to let it show when I answered, "Fooling around I guess."

He frowned, "That's it?"

"What would you call it?"

He shook his head, "Nothing, forget about it."

"No, tell me. What would you call it?"

He ran a hand through his hair and let out a deep breath, "I have no fucking idea, Granger. I like you - your company."

I raised an eyebrow, "Did you just say you like me?"

I could have been mistaken, but I could have sworn his cheeks got a bit pinker.

"No, I said I like your -"

"I like you too." I interrupted.

Well more like blurted.

He paused for a moment before doing something completely unexpected. He leaned forward, trapping me between himself and the armrest of the couch.

Before I had time to react he kissed me, but it wasn't like any kiss we'd shared before, and maybe that's what made it so special. It was like this kiss actually meant something this time.

He tangled his hand into my hair, while his other hand slid to my waist after he shifted slightly so I was lying on the couch and he was sitting, but still leaning over me.

I slid my arms around his neck, pulling him closer. It was like we couldn't get enough of each other, and stopping for air just wasn't an option.

His lips were soft, and his hands were wandering around my waist and moving under my shirt, sliding it up so that my stomach was exposed.

He pulled away from my lips and started placing open mouth kisses down my neck, past the exposed skin of my breasts and down my stomach.

His breath ghosted across my stomach and I shivered, which caused him to smirk and press a light kiss to my mouth, his lips barely touching mine.

I finally came to my senses and pushed him away a bit, "You're going to be sick."

"Well it's too late now."

Oh how right he was.

* * *

**DPOV**

"Where have you been all day?"

I looked up and saw Theo standing over the library table looking down at me.

"Oh, I've - uh - been in my room. I think I'm catching a cold." I said, slightly stumbling over my words.

It had been a week since the day Granger had been sick, and I was definitely sick now, but I wasn't all that bothered by it - mostly because kissing Granger was worth it.

At least I can come to terms with that, but the fact that I slipped up and told the bint I liked her -

I shook my head, this wasn't really something to be thinking about when Theo was right there.

"Yeah I figured that would happen when I saw Granger sneezing all over the place." he said, taking the seat across from mine.

I had actually been trying to get my Potion's homework done now so that I wouldn't have anything to do when I went back up to the Common Room, but I'd mostly just been staring off into space thinking about the bint.

"Yeah, it's kind of hard not to get sick when you live with someone."

Theo nodded and pulled out his homework and books, "I think Blaise is coming to study too."

"Or sleep." I said with a smirk.

Theo chuckled, "Yeah, or that."

We worked in silence for a few moments before Granger, Weasley, and Lovegood walked in and took a seat at the table across from ours.

I hated that she made me this distracted because I couldn't focus on my Potion's homework with her sitting there - especially next to Weasley - looking as _fuckable_ as she was.

"What are you staring at?" asked Blaise, dumping his things onto the table.

"What? Oh - nothing. I was just caught up in thought."

I glanced back over at her, but she was laughing at something Weasley had said, and I couldn't help but be pissed off.

Which was stupid because she could do whatever she wanted. That wasn't up to me.

But fuck it all if I didn't wish it was.

I concentrated back down on my homework, and within a few moments I looked up to see Blaise asleep on his books.

Theo rolled his eyes, "It never fails."

"Nope," I said in agreement.

By the time I was finished with my homework, Granger was packing up her things and standing up.

I was in no rush to get back to the Common Room with her though, especially if there was something going on between her and Weasley.

She waved goodbye to them and surprisingly walked over to my table.

"McGonagall said she wants to talk to us about the upcoming trip to Hogsmeade. I meant to tell you earlier, but I forgot."

Her voice was as sweet as honey when she talked, and I couldn't help but stare at her perfect pink lips that I knew tasted like strawberries and vanilla.

"Alright," I said, standing up and slinging my bag over my shoulder, "I'll see you guys later."

Blaise mumbled something and Theo nodded his head, giving a small smile to Granger and then continuing his work.

The two of us walked out of the library, and once we were alone in the hallway she stopped walking.

"I can't believe you."

"What?" I asked, turning to face her.

"Do you think I'm daft?"

"Sometimes." I said with a smirk, still a little miffed about the Weasley thing.

She glared at me and said, "You are extremely childish. Glaring at Ron as if he's done anything to you."

"I wasn't glaring at him." Or had I been?

She laughed, but it lacked humor, "Right, I must have imagined that infamous scowl."

"Oh I'm terribly sorry that I'm not fond of your little boyfriend." I snapped.

As soon as the words were out, though, I wished they weren't, because I had no right to be upset over something like that.

The smug look on her face was enough to drive me up the wall.

"He's not my boyfriend."

"You sure do act like it."

"He's my friend. I love him _as my friend._ " she said, rolling her eyes.

I didn't know what to say so I changed the subject, "What did you say McGonagall wanted to talk to us about?"

"Nothing," she said shaking her head. "I made it up."

I smirked, "Am I rubbing off on you?"

Granger blushed just as Pansy turned the corner and started walking towards us, Astoria in tow. I groaned internally and shifted slightly away from Granger.

"Oh look who we have here." said Pansy, stopping in front of Hermione.

"Leave me alone Parkinson." she said, a tired look on her face.

"Or what? You're going to tell your mummy and daddy on me? Oh wait - that's right, you don't _have_ those anymore."

I was about to open my mouth to say something when out of nowhere Granger flung herself at Pansy, knocking them both down onto the floor.

Astoria screamed and backed up, and I was kind of frozen in shock for a moment.

I mean Granger was beating the _shit_ out of Pansy. Granger had Pansy by her hair and had punched her in the face twice while Pansy was struggling to get Granger off her.

I shook my head and moved forward grabbing Granger around her waist and pulling her off Pansy.

"You psychotic bitch!" screamed Pansy, holding her bloody nose.

"If you _ever_ say anything about my parents again I'll do a lot worse than break your nose you stuck up bitch." spat Granger, slapping my hands away from her.

"Don't touch me." she picked up the bag she'd dropped when she flung herself at Pansy and disappeared down the hallway.

"She's crazy." said Pansy, while Astoria helped her up.

Astoria was quiet, not really agreeing or disagreeing with Pansy, which was probably for the best all things considered.

"Maybe if you'd just leave her alone it wouldn't have happened." I said, shrugging my bag higher onto my shoulder and walking off in the direction Granger had gone.

"Are you really taking her side?"

"I'm not taking anybody's side." I said, and kept walking.

Soon enough she was out of earshot, and I was walking up the stairs to our Common Room.

I whispered the password and as soon as I stepped inside I spotted Granger at the window seat.

Her hair was loose around her face, she had changed into a pair of shorts and a tank top, and she had her sketch pad in front of her with her headphones in.

I dropped my bag onto the floor and walked over to her.

"Granger,"

"What do you think?" she asked, turning her sketch pad around to show me a drawing of Malfoy Manor.

I was pretty impressed to be honest, because it wasn't really anything like how it really was, but it was still Malfoy Manor in a way.

"It's really good." I said, moving so that I was sitting facing her.

"I don't know," she said, studying the drawing, "It's not very realistic."

"Art is subjective." I said with a shrug, "Besides, I like this one better than the original."

Granger looked up at me and smiled, and it - and I'll regret even having this thought - made my breath catch in my throat.

Granger was stunning, and she didn't even know it.

That could have been a reason I liked her, because she didn't go around trying to throw her beauty in everybody's face. That was more attractive than anything, especially after all the girls I'd dealt with before.

"You really like it?"

I nodded, "I do."

And I was telling the truth. The Manor was still the Manor, but the grass was greener, the clouds were gone, the sun was shining, and there were flowers in the garden. It was what I'd always wanted the Manor to look like.

"You know why I drew it like this?" she asked, closing her sketch pad.

I shook my head, and she continued talking.

"Because every memory I have of your - that house," she corrected herself, "Is bad, and I wanted something better. I wanted to know if I could make a better house."

I didn't know what to say, so did the one thing that I knew she'd understand. I slid my hand into her hair and pulled her into a kiss.

We didn't have to talk about Pansy, we knew that she had it coming and I wouldn't say anything. Not even if Pansy was still my friend - which I really wasn't too sure of.

Either way it was easier to show her how I felt with a kiss than with words, so that's what I did.

* * *

**HPOV**

I had _no_ idea why I'd punched Pansy, because I was most definitely against fighting, but every time she made a comment on my parents, I wanted to slam my fist into her little pug face.

And that's exactly what I did.

Am I proud of what I did?

Not really.

Would I do it again?

In a heart beat.

And then there was Malfoy. He pulled me off Pansy. I don't know what he said to her after I left, but I do know that he made sure I was okay, even if it wasn't in so many words.

And what was that thing people were always saying? Actions speak louder than words?

Well that was definitely true in the case of his kissing.

I still didn't know where we stood, though I'm sure I never really would know. I'd spend my entire life - well whenever I would think of him - wondering what exactly I'd been doing my last year at Hogwarts.

Because let's face it, we'd never be a couple. We'd never hold hands or kiss in public. We'd never make plans to move in together after school was over or promise that we'd always be there for each other. We'd never be a _we._ That's just how it was.

Anyway, I was a bit curious as to what punishment I'd be serving for attacking another student, but regardless of what it was, it was well worth it.

But it had been a week since the incident and nothing had happened, so maybe Pansy had just kept it to herself.

It can't look good to get your arse handed to you by a muggle.

I shook my head and grabbed my jacket from my closet and put it on, planning to go take a walk around the lake to clear my head.

When I walked downstairs Malfoy was nowhere to be seen, which was probably a good thing considering he was a pretty good distraction and all I needed right now was some alone time with my thoughts.

I pushed open the portrait and made my way outside into the crisp, cold air. It was always easier for me to assess a problem after taking a break from everything and just taking a walk.

And having these weird feelings and thoughts about Malfoy was _definitely_ a problem. A really, really big problem.

I mean what had changed over the years that I suddenly felt like it was okay for him to kiss me and touch me and do _whatever_ to me?

I mean sure the whole blood status thing wasn't important to him anymore, and he'd switched sides during the war, and his family had paid to rebuild parts of Hogwarts, but did that really make up for the years of name calling and just plain _mean_ attitude towards me and my friends?

Honestly I didn't know the answer to that.

But I had a feeling it wouldn't take me too long to find out.


	11. Chapter 11

**DPOV**

It was December now, and Christmas was definitely in the air. Everyone was talking about what gift they were going to be buying for their friends, family, and maybe even that 'special someone'. Along with that, the entirety of Hogwarts was covered in red, green, gold, and silver.

It looked like Gryffindor and Slytherin had thrown up all over the school.

And Christmas trees were everywhere too. And little elves, and Santa Clause's and other ridiculous little things to let everyone know that it was Christmas time.

I hardly ever bought anything for anyone on Christmas, but they usually got things for me. Even my parents sent me a box of gifts that I really didn't need, or ask for.

This year wasn't really any different. I had no intentions of buying anyone anything.

Well...that was a lie. I _had_ in fact been thinking about buying a certain someone a gift, but it would be completely and totally idiotic.

"Draco, what are you doing?"

I looked up from the book I'd been staring at for the past ten minutes to find Blaise looking down at me.

"Studying,"

He snorted and sat down in the chair across from me.

"I do enough _not_ studying to know when someone's not studying. So spill, what's up?"

I ran a hand through my hair and shook my head, "Nothing, I'm just tired of all this Christmas shit."

Blaise chuckled, "What? You mean to tell me you're not excited to get Pansy's inevitable gift?"

I groaned, "No."

"Are you getting anyone a present this year?"

For a split second I thought he knew about Granger, but that _obviously_ wasn't the case.

I shook my head and snorted, "Yeah right. When do I ever get gifts for anyone?"

He chuckled, "Yeah, I guess that's true. Just thought that maybe this year would be different."

I raised an eyebrow, "Why the hell would you think that?"

He shrugged, "I don't know...you've just been acting different this year. I figured maybe you'd met someone that you hadn't told us about or -"

"Oh shut up you idiot." I said, throwing a wadded up piece of parchment at him. "I didn't meet anyone."

"So is it Astoria then? Your parents seem to -"

"I can count on one hand the conversations I've had with Astoria, and none of them have been particularly memorable." I said, rolling my eyes.

He snorted, "You can't tell me you don't think she's attractive."

"I didn't say she wasn't. I just said she wasn't the girl I met."

I immediately regretted the way I'd phrased that sentence. I could already tell Blaise had caught on, because a particularly Slytherin smirk spread across his face.

"So she isn't the girl. Fine. Then who is?"

I tried to brush it off, "Nobody. I already told you I didn't meet anyone."

"I don't know Malfoy, it seems to me that you may have implied that there was a girl." he said, a smug smile on his face.

I hated the fact that he knew me so well. It was really irritating when it came to things like this.

"Just drop it Blaise. There's not a girl - or anyone else for that matter - that I'm getting a gift for this Christmas."

Probably.

He sighed, "Alright mate. So what'd you get on your Potion's essay?"

Leave it to Blaise to gracefully change topics.

* * *

**HPOV**

I usually loved Christmas. It was a time for family and friends to come together, and I usually went home to my parents, but that obviously wouldn't be happening this year - or any year for that matter - so it kind of dampened my Christmas outlook.

Don't get me wrong, Ron and Ginny invited me down to the Burrow to spend Christmas with them, and Luna had invited me to come home with her, and as much as I appreciated it, I'd much rather just stay at Hogwarts and do some reading by myself.

The Christmas spirit did brighten my mood at certain times.

Like when I saw how happy it made the younger students to be going home, or when couples were giving each other cute little gifts - it was all sweet, but after they were gone it pretty much just a reminder that I didn't have that.

I mean I knew Harry, Ron, Ginny, and Luna had gotten me Christmas presents, just like I was going to get them presents when we went to Hogsmeade later on today.

There was another issue that had been on my mind - and that was Malfoy.

Over the past month things had definitely been different between us. I don't know whether it was from us admitting that we liked each other or that we were just past denying that we wanted each other, either way it didn't matter, because - at least in our common room - we were actually... _nice_ to one another.

But this still left me with a problem.

Was I supposed to buy him a Christmas gift? And if I did, what if he didn't? What if he hadn't even thought of getting me one?

Then again what if he _did_ get me one and then I looked like a jerk for not getting him one too? I mean that would be humiliating.

I ran a hand through my hair and tried to focus on what Ron was saying.

" - around anymore."

"Um...could you say that again?" I asked, slightly embarrassed.

He chuckled, "Where's your head at lately Mione?"

I forced a smile, "Maybe you were right all these years and my brain's shutting down."

He laughed, "Told you not to work so hard. Anyway, I was saying that we should probably be prepared to hang out together since Harry and Ginny are hardly around anymore."

I sighed. I really missed Harry and Ginny, but they were so caught up in each other that it was hard to spend time with them. And I'm sure they weren't doing it on purpose, but it still sucked. I mean they were our best friends.

"Don't forget Luna, she'll be there too." I said.

Ron chuckled, "Yeah, but hey, at least we always have fun."

I had to laugh too, "Yeah, that we do."

We continued our walk around the lake - it really was beautiful this time of year,what with the snow covering everything - and we were quiet before I spoke up again.

"Can I ask you something?"

"You know you can ask me anything Mione." he said easily.

"Are you getting Lavender a Christmas present?"

I could see him turn an interesting shade of pink before he stuttered out an answer.

"Um - yeah - I actually wanted your help, but I didn't know how to ask."

I laughed, "Ron! You know you can ask me anything you big git! I'm sure we'll find the perfect gift in Hogsmeade tonight."

He stopped walking and hugged me, picking me up and spinning me around, "Thanks Mione, you're the best."

I chuckled and smacked his chest, "Oh hush, now come on. Let's go inside before we both get frost bite."

He laughed and agreed, throwing his arm over my shoulders and walking back to the doors of Hogwarts with me.

Boy, it sure was going to be an interesting trip.

* * *

**DPOV**

It was funny how our common room window looked out over the lake.

It was funny how from our common room, I just so happened to see Granger walking around the lake.

It was funny how she wasn't alone, and it was even funnier that she was with the Weasel.

But the _funniest_ part had to be that they seemed awfully close, and awfully _smitten_ with one another.

And she had tried to tell me that there was nothing going on between them. Yeah right. I'd love to see how she'd explain that one away.

Not that she had to explain anything to me, it wasn't like we were together.

But that didn't stop me from wanting to bash Weasley's face in for being able to spend time with her out in the open.

Oh for fuck's sake, I did not just think that.

I shook my head and picked up my book again, flicking my wand towards the fireplace to make the fire bigger.

A few minutes later I heard the portrait open and Granger walked in.

"Hey," she said, dropping her bag down onto the table and sitting down on the couch opposite mine.

I simply grunted in response.

"Are you okay?"

"Yep."

I heard her sigh, "So this is going to be one of those situations where I've made you mad, but you won't tell me."

I snorted and sat up, closing my book in the process, "You want to know what's wrong?"

"That's typically why people ask questions." she snapped.

I narrowed my eyes at her and said, "You're a liar."

" _Excuse me_?" she asked, her eyes widening.

"You heard me. You're a liar. You said there was nothing going on between you and the Weasel."

"This is about _Ron_? Are you _kidding_ me? How many times do I have to tell you before you get it through that thick skull of yours that there is _nothing_ going on between Ron and I?"

"Oh really? You two looked pretty cozy out there at the lake." I spat.

"You were spying on me?" she asked, standing up.

I stood up too and snorted, "Please, I just so happened to be looking out of the window and I saw you."

"What you _saw_ you thick headed, arrogant arsehole, is me telling my _best friend_ that I would help him pick out a gift for Lavender." she said, her hands on her hips, her bright toffee eyes glaring at me.

I couldn't blame her. I was such an idiot.

"Granger -"

"No, you wanted to discuss Ron and I _so badly_ then we will. Ron is my best friend, just like Harry is. They were both there for me during the _hardest_ time in my life, and I will love them _forever_ for that. So you can either get over your _stupid_ and _unnecessary_ insecurities, or we can stop whatever the hell it is that we have, but either way I'm not going to change my relationship with him because you're being irrational."

I don't know what came over me, or why the hell her yelling was such a turn on, but the next thing I knew I was pushing her against the wall and crashing my lips against hers.

She pulled away slightly and I moved my lips to her neck while she said, "You can't just kiss me every time we get into an argument. It's not going to wo - oh Merlin."

I heard her breath hitch and I couldn't help but smirk. I knew exactly what turned her on. I mean I should, we'd been doing this for like three months.

She slid her hands into my hair and pulled my lips back up to hers, her tongue sliding into my mouth effortlessly.

I moved my hands from the wall to her hips, pulling her flush against me while her hands were wandering across my chest, slipping underneath my shirt.

"Tell me again how it isn't going to work?" I asked with a smirk.

She rolled her eyes and slid her hand over the growing bulge in my pants, causing me to groan.

"What were you saying?"

Instead of responding I just tangled one hand in her hair and pulled her lips back to mine, sliding my tongue into her mouth.

She pushed my shirt off my shoulders and pulled hers off her as well, tossing it somewhere behind us.

I ran my hands up and down her smooth stomach and hips, savoring the feel of her warm skin, while her hands ran up and down my back, her nails occasionally scraping across my shoulder blades.

I kissed her one last time before pulling away to nip and lick at her neck, causing her to moan and tip her head back, giving me better access.

I reached a hand around to her back, unclasping her bra and letting it fall to the ground.

"Malfoy, we're supposed to be meeting McGonagall to discuss the times for Hogsmeade tonight."

"It can definitely wait." I said, kissing a trail down to her breasts.

She moaned and arched her back away from the wall.

"Malfoy -"

"Just let it go Granger. I know you don't want to go deal with McGonagall right now...then again I could stop and we could let the tension build until later tonight after we get back from -"

"Shut up and kiss me."

And boy did I.

_Everywhere._

* * *

**HPOV**

Malfoy and I ended up not going to see McGonagall at all, but it turned out it didn't really matter considering half the Prefects didn't turn up.

We still managed to get everyone into their carriages and then Malfoy and I grabbed the last one and headed to Hogsmeade.

"So are you going home for Christmas?" I asked, glancing at him for a moment before turning my attention to the window.

"No, I hardly ever do." he said, moving to sit next to me. "Are you going to the Burrow?"

I shook my head, "No,"

"Luna?"

"No, I'm just staying here."

He raised an eyebrow, "You mean to tell me that I get to spend all of Christmas vacation with you?"

I chuckled, "Shut up Malfoy."

"Why? I thought you like it when I talk?" he said, a smug smile on his face as he slid his cool fingers under my skirt and lightly over the thin fabric of my underwear.

I placed my hand over his wrist, but he grabbed my hand and leaned forward and kissed me.

"Don't you want me to make you come again Princess?" he whispered against my lips.

I moaned and he increased the speed of his fingers.

"Tell me." he said, his voice strong and commanding.

I moaned again as his fingers slid into my underwear and I tried to form a coherent thought.

"I don't think I heard you." He said, pulling his fingers away slightly.

"For the love of Merlin, please don't stop."

He smirked and brought his fingers back down to my clit and I closed my eyes as two of his long fingers slid inside my tight entrance.

"Tell me how it feels."

I bit my lip at his words, unable to hide the fact that they turned me on.

"Tell me Granger."

"Good," I panted, "So good."

He smirked and moved his fingers faster, "I want you to come for me Princess."

My breathing was fast and I could tell that I was so close, but I was worried that we were almost to Hogsmeade.

"Malfoy you have to stop."

He shook his head, "Not a chance. I want to see you come undone."

"Malfoy," I moaned.

He shook his head and slid down onto his knees in front of me, moved my underwear to the side, and sucked my clit into his mouth.

A few seconds later I felt my body tense up and I came, while he stayed between my legs licking up my juices until I stopped shaking.

When he pulled away he smirked and leaned up to kiss me, "Delicious as always." he said against my lips.

He moved back to the seat across from me and cast a Scourgify spell and I tried to collect myself, but it was hard with Malfoy sitting across from me...especially since before he rearranged his pants I saw his more than noticeable erection.

I opened my mouth to say something, but the carriage stopped and I sighed, getting out and walking over to Ron and Lavender.

"Hey," he said, swinging his arms over Lavender and my shoulders while we walked further into Hogwarts.

It was probably for the best considering my legs were a bit wobbly.

"I was thinking about gifts that I could get Lavender, but I don't know if they're any good, because I'm a guy and we technically don't -"

"Ron, I promise I'll help you, but I've got to go and get your gifts first, so I'll meet you in about an hour right here."

He groaned but nodded, "Alright, we'll meet you here. Come on Lavender. Maybe we can narrow down the list."

I chuckled and watched as they headed into one of the bookstores.

With a sigh I headed into the Quidditch supplies store and bought Harry and Ron newest, top of the line broomsticks that I knew they'd had their eyes on for a while now.

After that I went to Madam Malkins and got Ginny a new pair of shoes and Luna a new purple sweater.

I had another twenty minutes before I was going to meet Ron and Luna, so I decided to wander around Hogsmeade, and I somehow ended up in a jewelry store.

"Can we help you with anything Miss Granger?"

I smiled and shook my head, "No, I'm just looking."

The sales clerk nodded and disappeared to help another customer.

I walked up and down the aisles before I noticed a silver watch with black diamonds around the clock face and a dragon emblem on the back of the watch.

It screamed Malfoy.

But was it really a good idea to buy him a gift?

Well if I decide not to give it to him, I could always give it to Harry or Ron for their birthdays. Maybe even give it to Arthur.

Yeah, so I'd just get it now and figure it out later...

* * *

**DPOV**

Okay so I was in a jewelry store.

In Paris.

But it wasn't because of the stupid bint.

Okay, maybe it was, but I didn't even know if I was getting anything.

"Hello Mr. Malfoy. It's nice to see you again. What can I help you with today?" asked Halcom.

I shrugged, "Well...I'm kind of just...um...looking."

He raised an eyebrow, "I'm sure she'd love a necklace."

He disappeared before I could inform him that it wasn't polite to assume things.

Then again I apparated to bloody _Paris_ to find something for Granger.

I walked over to the glass case with the necklaces and almost immediately found one that I thought would be perfect.

It was a necklace with an emerald stone, and considering half of Granger's wardrobe was green, and I was smart enough to know it was her favorite color, I thought it was perfect.

But was I really about to buy jewelry for Granger?

I guess so.

"I'll take this one Halcom."

He smirked, but didn't say anything, just nodded, took it out, and wrapped it up.

He handed it to me and I nodded in thanks before apparating back to Hogsmeade.

I tucked the jewelry box into my coat pocket and walked into the Three Broomsticks to grab a drink.

I didn't really expect to see Granger and all her friends there. Even Potter and Weaslette.

I scanned the pub and saw Blaise and Theo sitting at a table further towards the back, so I went to join them.

"Well look who it is." said Theo. "Where've you been all day?"

I shrugged, "Around."

Blaise rolled his eyes, but they both let it drop.

They started talking about the upcoming Quidditch game, but I zoned out a bit, casting a glance at Granger. It turns out she had been looking at me too, because she blushed and looked away quickly.

I smirked and shook my head, turning my attention back to Theo and Blaise.

"So did you get anyone anything?" asked Blaise.

I snorted and shook my head, "Nope,"

They both laughed, "Typical Malfoy."

I chuckled too and stood up, "I'm gonna take a walk before we have to get back."

They both nodded and I walked past Granger and her friends, somewhat hoping that she would come and follow me.

I walked away from the pub and sat down on a bench on the far side of Hogsmeade.

It was kind of strange to be walking around with a Christmas present for Granger in my pocket, but on the other hand, it was weirdly... _nice_. Weird as that was.

I leaned back against the bench and closed my eyes, but a few minutes later I felt someone sit down next to me.

I opened my eyes and looked to my right to find Pansy sitting there.

"I saw you go to Paris, and Drakey I'm so excited. I got you a present too, but I didn't know if you wanted one this year. You always acted like you hated them, but I knew all these years would pay off and you'd realize how you felt about me." she said, her hand on my knee.

For a few seconds I was literally speechless by how stupid she sounded.

"Have you completely lost your mind?"

"What?"

"Are you insane? Crazy? Mentally unstable?"

"Why are you -"

"I didn't get you a gift Pansy." I said, glancing over her shoulder and finding Granger leaning against the outside of the building.

"What? But I saw you -"

"Am I not allowed to get a gift for my mother?"

She paled, "Oh Merlin, Drakey I'm sorry."

I rolled my eyes, "Would you stop calling me that?"

She laughed awkwardly and I just shook my head.

"I think it's a cute nickname."

I opened my mouth to tell her where she could shove that nickname, but the bell rang, signalling it was time to get back on the carriages.

She patted my hand and stood up, walking back around the corner.

Granger pushed herself off the wall and walked towards me.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

I shrugged, "No idea what you're talking about."

"Oh, so you didn't look at me that way to get me to come out here with you?" she said with a smile.

I chuckled, "I did no such thing."

She rolled her eyes, "Liar."

"Prove it."

"Why'd you come out here away from your friends?"

"I wanted to watch the stars." I said with a shrug.

"Alone?"

"Well now I don't have to." I said, pulling her down to sit next to me.

She chuckled and I laced my fingers through hers, and it felt... _good_. I mean we were out in public - kind of - and I was holding her hand.

She seemed surprised that I was doing it, but she didn't pull her hand away, so I guess that was a good thing.

After a few minutes she squeezed my hand and then stood up.

"I'm gonna head back. We're supposed to be leaving soon."

I stood up to and pulled her towards me, kissing her soundly before releasing her.

Her cheeks were flushed pink and her lips were kiss swollen, and she looked fucking beautiful.

"Go," I said, before I'd say something stupid.

She rolled her eyes, "Bye Malfoy."

She turned to leave, but I grabbed her hand again and pulled her back for another kiss.

She wrapped her arms around my neck and pressed her chest against mine, and I really didn't want to let her go. But we didn't have that much time and we couldn't be seen leaving the same secluded area. It would raise way too many questions I didn't want to answer.

"Granger, seriously. You need to go." I said against her lips.

She nodded and pressed another kiss to my lips before heading back in the direction of where the carriages would be picking everyone up soon.

Merlin I wanted this witch, badly.


	12. Chapter 12

**HPOV**

"Yes, I'm sure I'll be fine."

Ginny, Luna, Harry, and Ron were trying to convince me to go with one of them for Christmas break, so I wouldn't be lonely here, but I was already determined to stay at Hogwarts.

It'd just be too hard to be with someone else on a holiday that I only spent with my parents.

"Okay, well we're gonna miss you." said Luna, giving me a hug and squeezing just a little too tight.

Ginny, Harry, and Ron did the same, before climbing into the carriage to take them to the train station.

I watched until the carriage disappeared, and then I retreated inside.

The hallways were eerily empty, not that this was surprising. There were very few people who decided to stay at school for vacation.

I headed upstairs to the common room in hopes of getting some peace and quiet so I could think about what I was going to do with Malfoy's present.

It's not that I was upset that I bought it, I just felt a little stupid thinking back on it. I mean why would I buy him anything?

We weren't in a relationship, and if I did give it to him he'd know that I'd been thinking about him and that would just prove that I liked him more than he liked me and that was just totally not acceptable.

Aside from that he'd been in a bad mood ever since the day we'd gotten back from Hogsmeade, and I had no idea why.

Not that it was my business anyway. It was probably something to do with Pansy, as usual.

They seemed to be staring at each other quite often in the halls, and he'd definitely been avoiding too much contact with me, so I was pretty sure he'd gotten back with her, only for them to get into some stupid argument.

But again, that wasn't my business.

I pushed open the door to the common room and sighed when I saw Malfoy sitting on the couch.

He looked up, but looked right back down, barely acknowledging me.

I rolled my eyes, "Hello to you Malfoy."

I grabbed a book off the bookshelf and sat down on the other couch across from his and began reading.

"Do you have to do that here?" he snapped, looking over at me.

"No, but I'm going to." I said, not looking up from my book.

"Just because we're two of the few people who got stuck staying here doesn't mean we have to hang out."

I slammed my book shut, which must have startled him because his eyes looked a bit wide.

"Listen, I don't know what your problem is, but you need to get a grip. As far as I know I haven't done anything to you, but you've been in a shit mood ever since we got back from Hogsmeade."

"I'm not in a shit mood." he said, clearly irritated.

"Oh? And what would you call this?"

"Getting into the Christmas spirit." he retorted.

I frowned, "You don't like Christmas?"

"Why should I? I don't get anyone gifts, and the people who get me gifts I could care less about. Especially this year since I'm not going... _home_ for Christmas."

He spoke the word home like it was vile, and I felt a pang in my chest for him - even if he was a giant arse who didn't like my favorite holiday.

"What about you? How do you feel about Christmas Granger?" he asked, standing up and following me into the kitchen.

I leaned against the counter and tilted my head to the side, "I don't know...I used to like it."

"Used to?"

"What would make me like it now...I mean really like it? It's a holiday that reminds me of my parents, plus I've already gotten my presents so there's not really much to look forward to tomorrow." I said with a shrug.

He seemed to be debating something in his head before he sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

"Maybe you do have something to look forward to."

"What?" I asked, not sure I was completely sure of what he was saying.

"Just what I said Granger, maybe you've got something to look forward to after all."

I smirked, "Well maybe you do too."

I started to walk out of the kitchen, but he grabbed my arm and pushed me against the counter so I was between it and him.

"Did you get me a gift Princess?" he asked, his silver eyes sparkling.

"I meant just what I said." I said with a smile, happy to see his mood seemed to have changed.

He chuckled and rolled is eyes, "You're quite the difficult woman you know that Granger?"

"Just a tad."

He trailed his thumb across my cheek and leaned in as if he were going to kiss me, but just then there was a knock on the door.

He seemed slightly irritated by the interruption, but simply pressed a kiss to my forehead and said, "We'll continue this later."

Butterflies erupted in my stomach, and I wasn't sure if it was because of his promise of things to come, or the fact that he'd kissed my forehead.

That was just such an...un-Malfoy thing to do.

I shook my head and followed him to the door, where Professor McGonagall stood.

"I'm sorry to intrude, but seeing as there are only six other students who have decided to stay here for the holiday, we have decided to give 7th and 8th years a pretty free reign from here to Hogsmeade whenever they choose."

I raised an eyebrow, because that was actually pretty cool, it meant that I wouldn't have to spend _every_ day of my vacation at school.

"Thank you Professor." I said with a smile.

She nodded and disappeared down the corridor.

"Well that's interesting." said Malfoy, shaking his head and shutting the door.

I shrugged and walked back into the common room, picking up the book I'd slammed shut earlier and turning to walk up the stairs to read a bit more before it was time for dinner.

"Oh no Granger, we have some unfinished business." he said taking the book out of my hand and tossing it onto the coffee table.

I couldn't help the smile that threatened to creep its way onto my face at his words, but I couldn't help the nagging feeling I felt about him and Pansy.

I had to ask.

"Malfoy wait."

He paused outside the door to his bedroom and raised an eyebrow.

"Are you and...is there something going on with...are you and Pansy hooking up again?"

* * *

**DPOV**

I was actually pretty surprised to hear her ask that, mostly because I hadn't talked to Pansy in quite a while.

"No Granger, Pansy and I are not hooking up." I said with a smirk.

She blushed an interesting shade of pink and said, "I'm sorry, I just thought -"

Before she could no doubt ramble on for Merlin - knows - how - long, I leaned forward and kissed her.

Her lips were soft and full against mine, and damn it all to hell, but I'd _missed_ it these past few weeks that I hadn't kissed her.

Granger relaxed into me almost instantly and I pushed her against the door of my room, he arms wrapping around my shoulders and mine sliding to her waist.

I pulled her away from the door so that I could open it, but just then I heard her stomach grumble.

I chuckled and looked down into her toffee colored eyes and said, "We should probably go to dinner."

She sighed but nodded, "I didn't realize how hungry I was."

"You didn't eat today." I said, before I could stop myself.

She stopped walking and turned to me, "How do you know?"

"I just assumed -"

"No you didn't." she said with a knowing smirk.

"Whatever Granger." I said rolling my eyes and pushing open the portrait.

I heard her following behind me, and I groaned, spun around, grabbed her hand in mine and continued walking down the corridor.

Her eyes widened and she pulled on my hand, "What are you doing?"

"What's it look like I'm doing? We're going to dinner."

"What if someone sees us?"

I stopped walking and looked at her, "Do you know who decided to stay here?"

"No," she said, shaking her head.

"Mostly First Years, and two Fourth Years, and one Seventh Year. None of them are going to say anything because if they do they'll have to deal with me. So don't worry about it for the next two weeks." I said.

"Okay," she said with a smile. "Let's go eat."

We walked into the Great Hall and took a seat at my table. I noticed she made a face but didn't say anything.

"Problem?"

"No, no...but tomorrow we're sitting at my table."

I rolled my eyes and nodded, "Whatever you say Princess."

We fell into a comfortable silence once the food appeared before us, but I couldn't help but notice the way her full lips wrapped around her fork -

Get a grip.

"It's not polite to stare." she said, not looking up at me.

"Well some people would consider that a compliment."

I could see a blush spread onto her cheeks and I smirked. It was strangely satisfactory to know that I could get a reaction like that from her without really doing anything.

After a few minutes she stood up and I raised an eyebrow, "Going somewhere?"

"Back to the common room. I'm going to do some Christmas decorating."

I groaned and opened my mouth, but she interrupted me.

"No. Either you can come and help me, or you can stay down here and be a Grinch."

"What the bloody hell is a Grinch?" I asked, standing up and following her upstairs.

What? I didn't want to say down in the Great Hall with _children_.

"You don't know who the Grinch is?" she asked, her voice laced with genuine surprise.

I shrugged, "It's a muggle thing right? You already know how my parents felt about things like that."

Granger frowned and I halfway wished I hadn't said that, but then she smiled again, "I think I have the movie. We can watch it if you want -" she stopped herself and shook her head, "Sorry, that'd be dumb. I don't know why I even -"

"Granger," I said, pushing her against the wall by the portrait door and putting my hand over her mouth, "I don't think it's dumb."

I felt her smile under my hand and I couldn't help but smile back, "Okay?"

"Okay," she mumbled out from under my hand.

I chuckled and moved my hand, but didn't step away from her, I just kind of...looked at her.

And by Merlin she was beautiful. And not in the typical way, she was unique. Her crazy mane of curly hair, her full lips, her pink cheeks, her ivory complection...she was beautiful in so many ways.

"What?" she asked softly, her eyes searching mine.

I shook my head, "Nothing, come on. You said you wanted to decorate right?"

Her face lit up when she smiled and she nodded, "Yes,"

I whispered the password and we stepped through the portrait.

I watched as she pulled her wand out of her boot and started humming some Christmas song I didn't know the name of.

All of a sudden she clapped her hands together and waved her wand and then in front of us was a radio. A few clicks later and she had the same song she'd been humming blasting through our dorm.

I wanted to be annoyed, but I hadn't seen her this happy since before the war, and I wasn't about to ruin it for her.

"I guess it's interesting that our House colors together makeup the Christmas colors." she said as she pointed her wand and a giant Christmas tree appeared in the middle of the common room that stretched all the way up to the balcony where our rooms were.

I chuckled and watched as she shot silver, red, green, and gold colors out of her wand, and watched in a kind of amazement as our bland common room got turned into a Christmas wonderland.

It was actually the coolest thing I'd seen in a pretty long time.

"Are you just going to stand there, or do you want to help me?" she asked with a smile.

I rolled my eyes, but pulled out my wand as well, and within a few minutes everything looked like a Christmas story.

"It's perfect." she said softly, setting a star atop the tree as a final touch.

I smiled, "It's not too bad."

"Oh shut up," she said chuckling as she playfully smacked my arm.

"I'm going to go upstairs and grab that movie." she said after creating a T.V. that would work here, much like that iPod or whatever she called it.

I nodded and sat down on the couch, putting my feet up on the coffee table and leaning my head back to look up at the ceiling...the brightly decorated ceiling.

I honestly had no idea what I was doing anymore. I mean it was obvious that I cared for the bint, I'd bought her a bloody Christmas present for fuck's sake. It was just...a strange feeling to care for someone like that.

I wasn't sure if it was good or bad...well no...it wasn't really good considering what we had - whatever that was - couldn't go farther than our common room.

I shook my head and tried to push the thoughts away. Granger was actually happy today, and I wasn't going to fuck it up for her.

And I had to admit I was curious about what the hell this Grinch thing was that she'd compared me to.

Granger came back downstairs with a disk in her hand and I watched as she started the movie and I could see the mental pause as she was deciding where to sit.

"If you don't come sit down by me Granger," I said chuckling.

She smiled shyly, and sat down beside me.

I debated in my head for a moment before I wrapped my arm around her and pulled her closer to me. It was better to enjoy things while you had them.

* * *

**HPOV**

I woke up the next morning with an excited feeling in my stomach like I always did on Christmas, even though this Christmas was definitely different from any other I'd ever had before.

That didn't really matter though.

I pulled my messy hair up into a ponytail and glanced at myself in the mirror - shorts and a tank top - it would have to do for now.

I crept downstairs quietly and racked my brain to try and remember the recipe my mum had used when she made Christmas dinner.

It only took me a moment, and then it was all coming back to me, and before long pots and pans were flying around the kitchen along with ingredients and utensils.

The one thing I was doing by hand was the dessert. It had to be handmade or it just wasn't the same.

I decided to make an apple pie, and a gingerbread house.

Two hours later the pie was cooling, the gingerbread house was up and ready to be decorated, the ham was in the oven, and everything looked like it was coming along perfectly.

I decided to take the opportunity to run upstairs, grab his present, and set it under the tree before he came downstairs.

I glanced at the clock, it was noon and he still wasn't up, which was strange.

I shrugged and walked back into the kitchen, making a cup of tea and sitting down on the couch to take a break for a second.

A few minutes later the portrait opened and Malfoy walked in with a bag from Honeydukes.

He smiled and set the bag down on the counter in the kitchen and I stood up and followed him.

"Wow, it smells amazing." he said, staring at the gingerbread house. "You didn't decorate it yet."

"I figured you could do it if you wanted to." I said, unpacking the candy he'd brought.

"I've never done it before." he said, leaning against the counter and crossing his arms.

I looked up at him and noticed he looked...uncomfortable.

"Well we'll do it together then." I said simply.

He nodded, "Okay, I'll be right back."

I nodded and watched as he jogged up the stairs and reappeared a few moments later with a box in his hand that he slid under the Christmas tree, before returning back to the kitchen.

"When do you want to open it?" I asked, putting the different candy into bowls and setting them on the coffee table.

"After dinner." he answered easily.

I nodded and then we went to work decorating the gingerbread house.

We'd been working quietly for a bit before all of a sudden I had icing on my nose.

I looked over at Malfoy and he was smirking.

"Did you really just throw icing at me?"

He shrugged and tried to continue decorating, but my childish side seemed to have taken hold of me and I stuck my hand into the icing and slapped a gigantic blob of it onto his head, smearing it into his hair.

For a second we were both silent, but then I broke out laughing, and so did he.

"This means war Princess." he said, picking up his container of icing and throwing a handful of it at me. It landed directly on my face and I couldn't help but laugh and wipe it off, flicking it back at him and getting it all over his shirt and face.

I tried to run past him, but he grabbed me and pinned me against the counter and crashed his lips against mine, his hands sliding from my waist to my lower back and up my sides.

He tasted sweet from the icing and I couldn't help but lace my arms around his shoulders and let him lift me onto the counter.

He stepped between my legs and slid his hands up and down my thighs, before resting them on my hips. His lips trailed across my jaw and down to my neck, kissing and nipping, before he chuckled, "We look ridiculous."

I couldn't help but laugh and agree, "It got you into the Christmas spirit though."

He cocked his head to the side and looked at me, "No... _you_ got me into the Christmas spirit Granger."

My stomach erupted with butterflies and I could feel my cheeks heating up.

"We should clean up." I said, sliding off the counter.

The thing was, he didn't move, so now we stood even closer, and I was pressed between him and the counter.

"Come take a shower with me." he whispered seductively, trailing his lips across my neck.

I shivered at his words, but forced myself to shake my head, "No."

"Why not? I think it would be fun." he said, sliding his hands over my hips and pulling me closer to him so I could feel just _how_ fun he thought it would be.

"Okay," I said, giving in way too easily, but not really caring.

He smirked and took my hand, an annoying look of satisfaction on his face, as we walked to the bathroom.

* * *

**DPOV**

I hadn't really expected Granger to agree to shower with me, but I wasn't complaining that she had - not in the slightest.

I walked over to the shower and turned it on, checking the water before I turned around and looked at her.

She wasn't facing me, but she was taking her clothes off, and regardless of the fact that I _had_ seen her like this before, it was different in this way.

I shook my head and turned around, quickly stripping off my clothes and getting into the shower. A few moments later she slid in behind me and I could literally feel the tension in the air.

"You have icing in your hair." she said softly.

I chuckled, "You do too."

She reached over and grabbed the shampoo, but I took it from her with a smirk and said, "Turn around."

I was surprised when she actually did what I asked without questioning it.

I squeezed some shampoo into my hand and then slid my hands into her wet hair. I was always surprised by how soft it was, considering half the time it looked like a lion's mane.

Within a few moments I'd gotten the icing out of her hair, and rinsed the shampoo out.

I grabbed some of her vanilla body wash and slid my hands up her arms, across her shoulders, down her sides, and then pulled her back against me and slid my hands over her stomach and up to her chest.

I felt her breath catch as my hands worked over her breasts and toyed with her nipples, and she let out a soft moan that went straight to my groin.

I slid my right hand down her stomach and started rubbing her clit, while I was kissing her neck. Her left hand was on the wall of the shower and her right hand was digging into my forearm.

"Oh Merlin," she panted out, her hips bucking against my hand.

I smirked and slid one finger into her tight entrance and she tried to pull away from me, but I moved my left hand to her stomach, keeping her pressed against me.

"Malfoy, please, I can't." she gasped.

I smirked and shook my head, "Yes you can."

A few moments later I felt her shudder and she relaxed back against me, her breathing ragged.

After a second she spun around and crashed her lips against mine and slid her hand around my throbbing erection, moving it up and down.

I tangled my hands into her hair and kissed her harder because holy _fuck_ it felt good.

I could feel myself getting close, just when she stopped and got on her knees in front of me.

Without pausing she took me into her sinfully sweet mouth and I was gone. I slid my hand into her hair and she picked up her pace, her mouth sliding up and down my shaft.

"Holy fuck Granger." I said when she chuckled and the vibrations drove me crazy.

"I'm gonna come." I warned her, but it only made her suck harder, and within seconds I was coming into her mouth.

She stood up and I pulled her into a kiss again, while my hands slid down and grabbed her arse.

She giggled and I shut off the water, getting out of the shower and handing her a towel as she got out.

"Remind me to shower with you more often." I said with a smirk.

"Oh shut up Malfoy." she said with a smile.

_**~La la la la la some time elapses~** _

"You can open yours first." she said, motioning to the gift I had in my hand.

"Alright," I said, taking off the wrapping paper to reveal a silver watch with black diamonds around the clock face and a dragon emblem on the back. It was probably the coolest thing I'd ever gotten as a gift...or bought for myself to be honest.

"Wow...this is amazing. Thank you." I said, sliding it onto my wrist, enjoying how it looked there.

Granger seemed to be relieved and smiled, "Good, I'm glad you like it."

"Your turn." I said, motioning towards the box she had in her hand.

She unwrapped the gift and lifted the lid and her eyes widened.

"Oh Merlin...it's beautiful...but why -"

"I didn't ask you why, don't ask me why." I said, reaching over and lifting the necklace out of the box. "Come here."

She did what I asked and I put the necklace on her. I liked how it looked...I liked that I'd given it to her, and she was wearing it.

She stood up and walked over to the mirror we had hanging on the wall and looked at it.

"Wow...I love it. Thank you. It must have been so expen -"

"Don't even." I said rolling my eyes, "As long as you like it, it doesn't matter."

And the crazy thing about that?

I meant it.


	13. Chapter 13

**DPOV**

I felt strange waking up the day after Christmas feeling...content.

Actually I was more than content, I was bloody happy.

Damn.

I shook my head and sat up.

It was freezing.

I glanced out my window and all I could see was bright white snowflakes whizzing past the windowpane. It was a blizzard out there. A serious snow storm, and it was turning the entire castle into a damn ice sickle.

With a groan I got out of bed and walked downstairs to go start the fireplace in hopes that when Granger got up she wouldn't be freezing.

After I'd gotten the fire lit I walked back upstairs and found Granger sitting on the very edge of my bed, as if she was worried it would bite her if she sat too far on it.

I arched an eyebrow, but didn't say anything. She was in my room, she could explain.

"I was freezing...I just wanted to know if you knew what to do." she said softly, her eyes darting around my room, and over to the completely white, frost covered window.

"I turned on the fireplace, so hopefully that helps." I offered, walking over to my bed and lying down.

Granger nodded, clearly uncomfortable by my change in position and stood up, "Alright, well thanks."

She turned to leave from the room and I rolled my eyes, "We could always share body heat."

I could tell she was rolling her eyes before she turned around to look at me, one hand on her hip and the other running through her hair.

How she did that I had no idea. It looked as though it would get stuck, but the curls separated as if they were silk.

"That seems rather crude."

I chuckled, "I meant you could just lay here with me, but your idea sounds good too." I said with a wink.

Her cheeks turned an adorable shade of pink and I couldn't help but chuckle again, "Come on Granger, I don't bite...not unless you want me to anyway."

She shook her head and turned to leave again, so I stood up and grabbed her hand, spinning her around to face me, "Seriously Princess, stay with me."

I'd never actually invited a girl to sleep in bed with me. Like actually sleep. I'd obviously invited plenty of girls to my bed - excluding this year _obviously,_ but none of them ever slept with me.

She arched an eyebrow at me, "Why? You never seemed too keen on anybody in here."

"Fucking christ Granger," I said, pulling her down under the blankets with me, "You always have to be so difficult."

She tried to act upset, but I could tell she was freezing, so I just pulled her tighter against me and any complaint she would have had died on her lips.

A few moments later she looked up at me, "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure,"

"If things were different do you think we'd...I don't know...talk outside of our common room?" she asked quietly, her eyes no longer meeting mine.

In fact she had completely turned herself around so that her back was pressed against my chest. I didn't particularly mind the position switch, aside from the fact that she did it because she was nervous.

I wrapped my arms around her a bit tighter and kissed her temple before I replied, "I think that anything is possible."

She went to say something but I shushed her, "I think that I like you more than I should. I think that you are definitely the most unique girl I've met. But I know that thinking of what - ifs isn't going to help the situation, because it doesn't really matter. It's not different between us, and it won't be because we can't un-write the past. All we can do is move forward."

* * *

**HPOV**

As I lie there in Malfoy's arms, listening to him talk, I felt strangely at peace. His words should have made me sad, because it basically meant that ten - to - one we were screwed.

Something about his words made me feel content though, content to know that everything had an end, even this. Especially this.

But the fact that he cared for me, the fact that he thought I was unique - these were things I never would have imagined him thinking about me, let alone verbalizing them to me.

It was...nice.

"Granger?"

"I heard you." I said softly, "I agree. It's better to enjoy something while you have it than to wonder what could have happened, right?"

I could feel him chuckle behind me, his chest rumbling against me, "Yeah Princess, that's exactly right."

I turned around to face him again, sliding my hands onto his warm chest, desperate for relief from the ever present cold. It was just _so_ cold.

I had a feeling I was probably getting sick yet again. It always seemed to happen to me, as unfair as that was. Malfoy walked around and hardly ever caught anything from anybody.

"You're cold." he said softly, his hand sliding up to cover both of mine. Somehow that gesture made me feel small and protected. _Safe._

The word echoed around in my head for a minute before I registered how serious that was. I felt safe with Malfoy, of all people.

He seemed to register the change in my attitude, because he kissed my nose and asked, "What are you thinking?"

I shook my head, "Nothing,"

Sure, we'd revealed that we cared for the other, at least on some level, but telling Malfoy that I felt safe with him was opening up a whole new can of worms, and I just wasn't ready for that.

Then again it didn't really matter considering once this school year ended we would be done anyway, so telling him was pointless.

Right?

I shook my head again, clearing away the confusing thoughts. I needed to get up. I needed to get some space between Malfoy and I, because it was hard to think clearly with him so close.

It was times like these when I really felt like everything was normal. That we were a normal couple with normal problems, but we weren't.

Hell, we weren't even a couple.

I thought back to the conversation we'd had before about what we were, and I'd said we were friends. Tentative relationship that was. _Is._

I sighed and shifted away from him, "I'm going to go take a shower."

He smirked, "Can I join?"

I rolled my eyes, trying not to let on that I'd just been having a mental war with myself, "I think I'll pass today. I'd actually like to get _showered._

I slipped out of bed before he could say anything else and quickly retreated into the bathroom.

After I'd turned on the shower and steam filled the entire bathroom I stepped under the steady stream of water.

I had no idea why all these things were all of a sudden bothering me. It hadn't been an issue at all, and now all of a sudden it was all I could seem to think about when I looked at him.

I refused to believe that I cared about him more than I should - well I obviously cared more than I should considering who he was - but as far as our situation was concerned, I refused to even entertain the idea that strong feelings were developing between the two of us.

There was just no way.

But then why was the inevitable end of our tentative relationship so unnerving to me? It actually made me somewhat _sad_ to think about, and that just wasn't acceptable.

Sure Malfoy had told me he cared about me, but that didn't really mean much of anything. We weren't supposed to have feelings for another, and he was the first to bring it up.

So then why was it so hard to even contemplate the idea of ending things with him?

The emerald necklace rested against my chest, water droplets rolling off it, and it seemed to get heavier, as if the necklace itself was weighed down by all my doubts and concerns.

I was tempted to take it off, but I really did love it, and I loved that he'd gotten it for me.

With a sigh I turned off the water and stepped out of the shower, quickly wrapping a towel around myself and walking over to the mirror.

I wiped away some of the fog on the glass and stared at my reflexion.

Hazel eyes. Brown mess of hair. Fair complexion. Pink lips. Rosy cheeks. Small nose.

In all honesty I couldn't see what he saw in me. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't ugly, but I wasn't anything special either, and considering how he used to be about blood purity I shouldn't have even been an option.

All the girls Draco dated had been beautiful, and I just didn't seem to fall into the same category as those girls did.

My crazy mane of hair was already starting to curl, so I quickly yanked a brush through it, and then proceeded to dry off.

I slipped on a pair of underwear and a bra and then wrapped the towel around myself again and headed towards my room.

All I really wanted to do was curl up with a good book and read the day away, but I actually needed to go down to Hogsmeade and pick up new quills since mine had all magically disappeared.

After I had changed into black jeans, a black sweater, and black boots I grabbed my purse and headed downstairs.

I found Malfoy sitting on the couch, his hair dripping wet, with a pair of shorts and no shirt, staring intently at the TV screen as he tried to figure out how to work the thing.

I couldn't help the chuckle that escaped me. In a way it was quite adorable to see.

He turned around and glared at me, "This is why I don't like muggle contraptions. Everything's always so difficult."

I rolled my eyes and stood next to him.

"What are you trying to do?"

"Get the bloody thing to turn on."

I took the remote from him and then clicked the red power button, "This turns it on, this changes the channels or you can type the number in with the other buttons, this changes the volume,"

"Why are there so many buttons?"

"To do all the things the TV needs to do." I said, handing the remote back to him.

He began flicking through the channels before he looked at me, "Where are you going?"

"Hogsmeade. I need to pick up some school supplies."

Obviously I only needed quills, could only really afford quills.

I wouldn't have money until I left Hogwarts and got a job of my own, because I'd used the money my parents left me to handle their funeral arrangements and buy my things for the start of this school year.

I knew Malfoy was aware of this, and I hoped he wouldn't comment on it.

"Do you mind if I come? I need to get quills anyway." he said, not really waiting to see if I was okay with it or not.

"You actually want to be seen out in public with me?" The words were out before I could stop them, and I instantly felt guilty, because he wasn't the only one who was hiding the relationship, I was too.

He paused on the stairs and looked down at me, an expression on his face that I couldn't read, and said, "That's not fair Granger."

"I know," I said quickly, "I'm sorry."

"You know that if things were different -" but he stopped himself and shook his head. "I'm going to get dressed. You don't have to wait for me."

I knew why he didn't finish his thought. Because it didn't matter. Just like he'd said earlier that morning. Things weren't different and they wouldn't be.

But then I thought about what I'd said after that, it's better to enjoy something while you have it.

So I sat down on the couch and waited for Draco to come downstairs.

* * *

**DPOV**

I could tell something was bothering Granger, even as we walked around Hogsmeade. She'd been acting strange all morning, and I had a feeling it had something to do with the question she'd asked me.

I wasn't sure that knowing our arrangement was temporary made me _sad_ but it certainly didn't make me happy. I liked the silly witch, and the connection we had was something I'd never had with another girl before.

But none of that really mattered.

But if it didn't matter then why was I still engaging in that behavior?

I had no fucking idea.

She pointed into one of the glass windows of the shops that lined the streets and said, "Look at that, isn't it pretty?"

She had pointed to a ruby red quill with cold trim, and it just screamed Gryffindor's Princess to me.

"It fits you." I said as we walked into the store.

"I love it."

"So buy it." I said with a shrug, eyeing the quills with disinterest. I hadn't really needed quills, and if I did I would've told my mother and she would have mailed them to me.

The only reason I'd said that was to go with her.

She laughed, "Buy it? Are you insane? I could never afford that."

I wanted to smack myself. Of course she couldn't afford it, her parents were dead, she was an only child, and she didn't have a job yet.

"So I'll buy it for you." I said easily.

Granger arched an eyebrow and put a hand on her hip, "You must certainly will not."

"Why?"

"Because I don't need something that fancy. I just need a regular old quill that normal people can afford."

"If you keep having to buy those shitty quills you're just going to keep wasting your money. Let me do this for you." I said, my eyes focused on her.

She let out a sigh and was about to open her mouth when in strolled my mother.

Granger must have seen her first, because her face turned ashen a split second before I glanced to my right and saw her.

Granger quickly spun around to stare at the quills behind her, and then once my mother had moved further into the store, made a hasty exit, disappearing into a crowd of people.

Fucking great.

I wanted to do the same, but just as I was making my way to the door my mother called out to me.

"Oh Draco dear, how lovely to see you. Come here and give your mother a kiss. Did you have a nice Christmas?"

I sighed and walked over to her nodding, "Yeah, it was alright. McGonagall basically gave us free reign to do what we wanted."

She nodded, "Who else stayed at school? Hopefully not that Granger girl you got roomed with. Though I figure she probably went to the Weasley's place with Potter. They seem to be rather close."

The way my mother said it wasn't exactly rude, but you could tell she wasn't fond of any of them.

I debated on lying and telling her that Granger wasn't there, but then decided against it.

"She did stay, but we've been avoiding each other for the most part." I said with a shrug, trying to feign disinterest.

It must have worked because she simply shrugged, "Not too much longer and you'll be done with school and you can take over the business for your father."

I wanted to groan, but didn't. Running Malfoy Industries wasn't exactly what I wanted to do with my life, but it was what was expected of me, so it's what I would do.

Besides I would still get to play for the Falmouth Falcons as soon as I graduated, so that would keep me entertained while I had to deal with stuck up, old, rich business men who didn't have a new or creative thought in their heads.

"Of course," was all I said to my mother. I just wanted to get out of there and go find Granger. I wondered if she'd gone back to Hogwarts or not.

"Well it was nice seeing you dear. Your father and I wish you would've come home for Christmas."

I resisted the urge to laugh. My father didn't want me home. He could care less if I was there or not.

Of course I didn't say that though. "I'll be home soon enough when the school year is over."

She nodded and smiled, beautiful as ever, and gave me a kiss on the cheek as she left the store.

It dawned on me that she hadn't bought anything. In fact she hadn't really looked at anything when she'd walked in.

Had she seen Granger and I talking or had she just seen me in here, and that's why she came?

If she knew and told me dad -

I pushed the thought away. She didn't know. If she knew she would have said something, hinted at something.

Right. Right...I was worrying for nothing.

I shook my head and grabbed the red and gold quill, paying for it and then heading out onto the streets to see if I could find Granger.

And hopefully be rid of the gnawing feeling in my stomach that my mother now knew something she shouldn't.


	14. Chapter 14

**HPOV**

I had finally stopped obsessing over whatever _thing_ I had going on with Malfoy.

Well I'd stopped obsessing as much as I had been before. A bit.

It was just that the closer we got to Christmas break being over, the closer the reality came as well.

We wouldn't be doing this anymore. We _couldn't_ do this anymore. Not when everyone came back, expecting to find the two Heads exactly as they'd left them - cordial, but not friendly.

And it sucked.

I wanted to be able to talk to him without -

I shook my head. Thoughts like that weren't helpful, and I was done with them. I had known from the beginning that this thing with Malfoy wasn't a permanent thing, or even a _real_ thing.

I just needed to keep reminding myself of that.

I stood up, grabbed my coat and headed outside. I had no idea where Malfoy was, and for once I didn't care. I needed some time to myself to _not_ think.

I headed down to the lake, and started a slow walk around it, my feet leaving small imprints in the snow.

Winter really was beautiful here. Snow covered everything, making the world look like a huge snow globe.

It was strange seeing Hogwarts this quiet, since I hadn't seen it this way since the war - but somehow this was nice. With all the students here it was loud and hectic all the time, so this was a nice opportunity to breathe.

After two laps around the lake I'd almost frozen off all my fingers and my nose was probably redder than Rudolf's, so I headed back to the Common Room to hopefully warm myself back up.

When I pushed open the door Malfoy was sitting on the couch watching one of the movies I'd brought downstairs two nights ago.

"Where'd you disappear off to?" I asked, shrugging my coat off and hanging it on the hook by the door.

He smirked and looked back at me, "Hogsmeade."

"Why?" I asked, moving to stand in front of the fireplace.

"It's a secret." he said.

I raised an eyebrow, "Why?"

He smirked and walked over to me, taking my hands in his.

"Jesus fucking christ Granger, how long were you outside?"

I shrugged, "A while I guess."

"You could get sick. Again."

I chuckled, "Oh Malfoy, so concerned. How sweet of you."

He scowled, "Shut up."

"So why's it a secret?"

He rubbed my hands between his and stepped closer to me to whisper, "Because I don't want you to know."

I narrowed my eyes and pulled my hands out of his, "Why?"

"Because, Princess, that's the point of a secret."

I sighed, deciding to let it go. If he didn't want to tell me he wasn't going to, no matter how much I poked and prodded him about it.

"I can't believe break is over in two days." I said, flopping down onto the couch he'd been sitting on.

I was still cold, but I was also too tired to keep standing over by the fire.

Malfoy picked up a blanket off the other couch and walked over to me, sitting down and draping it over both of us.

"Yeah, everyone will be back to getting on my last nerve."

I smacked his chest, but he caught my hand and held it there.

"Everyone but you, that is."

His voice had gotten deeper and his eyes were sparkling.

"Liar," I said softly.

He chuckled, "Yeah. You'll probably get on my nerves more than anyone."

I stuck my tongue out at him and said, "Arse,"

"Don't be mad Princess, it's just because you drive me crazy...in the best possible way."

I raised an eyebrow, wondering what the hell had gotten into him. He was acting...weird. He never really expressed himself - especially not to me about how he felt.

"Have you been drinking?"

He rolled his eyes and shifted away from me, "For fucks sake Granger, we're about to go back to what we were like before break. I'm just trying to enjoy the time we have left."

I could tell my eyes were wide, because, well, that was unexpected.

"But you don't...you don't _do_ that." I argued.

"I do whatever I want." he said, turning up the volume on the TV.

"What do you want from me Malfoy?" I asked softly.

I could see his demeanor shift, and he looked at me and said, "Everything that I want from you, is everything that I can't have."

"Wha -"

"Granger please, just sit here with me and watch this stupid movie." he said with a small smile. A smile - not a smirk, a _smile._

I sighed and cuddled into his side, his arm around me, and we watched the stupid movie.

* * *

**DPOV**

Everyone was coming back in two days and it seemed like the last two weeks had flown by extremely fast. I wanted to lie to myself and say that it wouldn't bother me to just go back to how things had been with Granger - but two things made that pretty difficult.

For one, I'd told her that everything I wanted from her was something I couldn't have, and two, there was no point in lying to myself.

I knew I would miss it, at least in some way.

At least we still had New Years Eve tonight. That's what I'd gone into Hogsmeade for in the first place, of course I couldn't tell Granger that. It was going to be a surprise.

Where I'd come up with the idea, I didn't know - and I doubted it was a smart idea, _and_ I doubted she'd go along with it considering where we stood with our 'relationship', but I was still going to try none the less.

"Are you the type to make resolutions?" she asked, glancing up from whatever it was she was drawing to look at me.

I shook my head, "I don't need to change anything about myself."

Granger scowled and I chuckled, "What? Do you?"

"Well," she said, pausing to think about it, "I guess I do, sometimes."

I raised my eyebrow, "What do you mean?"

"Well sometimes it'll be around this time of year when I think about things that I want to change, but other times it could be July and I'll think about it, and make a resolution then."

"So just whenever you feel like you need to change something."

She nodded and stretched her arms over her head, exposing a sliver of her stomach, and for some reason that made me want to touch her more than anything.

Which was fucking ridiculous because it was her _stomach_ for fucks sake - but I was way past wondering about the crazy things Granger was making me feel.

"Are you going to make a resolution for this year?"

She nodded, "Yeah, I think I am."

"For what?" I asked, watching as she returned her attention back to her drawing.

"Just that I don't take things so seriously. And that I work _extremely_ hard to keep the job I was offered." she said, her hand gliding over the page in sure strokes. It was really something to watch.

"A job?"

She nodded, "Buxom and Brant offered me a job after I graduate. Obviously I took it."

"That's great." I said, and I really meant it. Buxom and Brant was a great company, and one of my father's steadfast competitors.

She nodded as if she really didn't think it was all that great, but then again she didn't seem like the type of person who'd like an office job.

"What are you drawing?" I asked, glancing at the clock. _Five-thirty._

"New Years Eve back home." she said, flipping her sketch pad around so I could see.

It was amazing - really.

She had drawn what looked like a regular house, in a regular neighborhood, but there were three people standing out front staring up into a sky that was lit up with color.

"Wow,"

"Yeah, New Year was my second favorite holiday, only because it was so beautiful...the bright flashes of color against a canvas of midnight blue sky." she chuckled and shook her head, "There I go taking a trip down memory lane again. I'm sorry."

I shook my head, "Don't be."

We sat in silence for a few minutes before I said, "How about I cook you dinner?"

"Really?" she asked, eyebrow raised, "I didn't take you for a chef."

"I'm not," I said with a shrug, "But I'm sure I can figure it out."

She nodded, "Yeah, that sounds nice."

I stood up and headed into the kitchen, trying to think of what exactly it was that I was going to make her. For my plan to work, this had to go well.

_**A few cooking disasters later...** _

"Wow, it smells amazing." said Granger, sitting down at the table in the kitchen.

"Let's just hope it tastes amazing too." I said, chuckling.

She smiled, "Even if it doesn't, it's still pretty sweet that you did this for me."

I smirked, "Just don't tell anyone."

For a second a shadow passed over her face, and I almost regretted saying that, but then she smiled.

"Your secret's safe with me."

I'd made chicken alfredo and I really hoped it turned out right.

I sat down and let her try it first, interested in seeing her reaction.

"Oh wow, this is really good." she said chuckling, "I was actually a little worried."

I laughed and we both began eating, and I must say I'm a pretty damn good cook.

After we'd finished I put the plates in the sink, casting a quick spell so theyd clean themselves.

When I looked, Granger was in the living room, pouring a bottle of wine into two glasses.

"Where'd you get that?" I asked, taking a glass from her.

"I have my ways." she said vaguely, waving it off.

I sat down on the couch and tried to think of my next move. For some reason this _had_ to be _perfect_ with her. If I owed her nothing else, I owed her that much - I owed _myself_ that much.

I watched as she walked over to the fireplace, stretching her hands out in front of her, while the flickering orange glow cast an almost angelic glow on her face.

"I'm gonna go change, I'll be right back."

She smiled at me and nodded, and I headed upstairs.

When I got to my room I shut the door and grabbed the bag I'd gotten from Hogsmeade. I pulled out the candles I'd gotten, they were slightly enchanted to relax whoever inhaled the smell, and lit them, putting them around the room.

I figured that'd come in handy, not just for her, but for me. I mean the fact that I'd really gone to all this trouble to sleep with Granger - that said something in and of itself.

But I wanted this to be right.

Next I enchanted the room so it looked like there wasn't a ceiling, and fireworks were going off, lighting up the sky and casting a glow around the room.

I glanced at my bed, the green silk sheets perfectly made. Hopefully they wouldn't stay like that, I thought with a smirk.

I pulled off my shirt and slipped into pajama bottoms before heading back downstairs.

Apparently Granger had changed too, because she was sitting in a pair of black shorts that showed off her amazing legs, and a white tank top, that slightly showed her bra through the thin fabric - though I doubted she noticed that.

"Hey," I said softly.

She looked over at me, and her eyes widened, "Hey,"

I sat down next to her and she instantly curled against my side. The action made me smile, and I wrapped an arm around her, tugging her more firmly against myself.

"This is nice," she said after a few minutes of silence.

"Yeah," I said softly, "It is."

We sat with each other for a few more minutes enjoying each others company, before I said, "Name another place you'd want to go."

"This again?" she asked, but I could hear the smile in her voice.

"Yes, this again." I said, kissing her temple, "I'm curious."

"Why don't I just tell you all the places I want to go one day?"

"How many are there?"

"Five."

"Only five?" I asked, slightly surprised. Most girls had tons of places they wanted to go.

Then again, she wasn't most girls.

"Yup, only five."

"Alright, well tell me."

"Do you remember the two I told you already?" she asked, her tone telling me she didn't think I did.

But honestly, I did remember.

"Aberdeen and Norway."

She smiled, "Yeah...well the other three are Australia, Morocco, and Austria."

"I'll take you there one day." I said, pressing another kiss to her temple. And in a way, I really did mean it.

"Right," said Granger, and I could almost see her rolling her eyes, "That'd go over well."

"I'm telling you," I argued, "I will."

"Fine, fine." she said, patting my arm.

I decided to let it go, there were other things I wanted to be doing.

"I have a surprise for you."

She turned so she could see my face and asked, "Is this the secret from earlier?"

"Part of it," I admitted.

"Alright, what is it?"

"Come with me." I said, taking her hand.

She followed me without question, even though I felt her tense slightly when I pushed open the door to my room.

"What are we doing in here?" she asked softly.

"Look up, Princess."

The look on her face was priceless, she looked like a little kid, so happy. And _I'd_ done it. I was the reason she was happy - at least for now.

"It's beautiful." she said softly, "Just like how it used to look at home."

When she looked back at me I saw tears in her eyes, and pulled her closer.

"Please don't cry, Princess. I didn't want to upset you." I said, wiping away the tear that rolled down her cheek.

She smiled and put her hand over the one I had on her cheek and said, "I'm not upset. It's just...this is one of nicest things someone's done for me and I just -"

Instead of letting her finish I crashed my lips against hers, enjoying how her breath hitched.

She wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed me harder, and I slid mine to her waist, moving her shirt up so I could feel her skin.

"Malfoy," she said, pulling away from the kiss, "Do you think this is a good idea?"

I closed my eyes and rested my forehead against hers, "I would never do anything you didn't want to do."

"That's not what I asked."

"I don't know how to answer what you asked." I said honestly. "I don't know if it's worth it, but I know that I want to. _Merlin_ do I want to." I said, sliding my hands up her sides.

"Then that makes it worth it." she said, before crashing her lips against mine again.

This time her tongue slid against my bottom lip almost instantly, and I was more than happy to oblige. As our tongues moved against one another I pushed her shirt up, and then pulled it over her head, tossing it onto the floor.

She slid her hands up and down my chest and through my hair and I just wanted her, all of her, right now - but that would have to wait.

I gently walked her back toward the bed until her knees hit the frame and she pulled away from my lips, but I just moved to trail a few heated kisses down her neck.

She let out a small moan and tilted her head back, her hands sliding up my chest, and into my hair.

She let me push her down onto the bed, and I moved on top of her, careful not to crush her small frame.

I kissed a trail down her neck and over the exposed skin of her breasts before moving back up to her lips. I didn't want to rush her. I wanted to know that she wanted it too - and apparently she did, because she pushed me back so that she could sit up and take her bra off, before pulling me back down on top of her.

She kissed me, her tongue sliding against mine in the most tantalizing way. I was already getting hard and we hadn't even _done_ anything yet.

I kissed my way down the smooth column of her neck again, continued down to her chest, and then took one rosy nipple into my mouth, enjoying the way her breath hitched.

"Oh Merlin," she said softly, her hands tangling into my hair.

I sucked harder, moving my hand to her other breast, massaging and teasing. I pinched her nipple and she moaned, her hands in my hair tightening.

I kissed my way back up to her lips and kissed her long and hard, moving so that I was rubbing against her clit.

She gasped and dug her nails into my back - but fuck if it didn't feel good.

"Oh Merlin, Malfoy -" she moaned again, and I kissed her again.

"Granger," I asked, pulling away a bit, but this time it was her who began kissing and biting my neck, and I found it really hard to focus.

"Granger, do you want to stop?"

She stopped kissing my neck and leaned back against the silk pillows, her curly hair creating a halo around her as she raised an eyebrow at me.

"What the hell would make you think that I wanted you to stop?" she asked, a sexy as sin smirk that she no doubt got from me, on her face.

Instead of saying anything I just smirked and kissed her, softly this time, and made my way down her neck, across her breasts, and down her stomach, stopping when the waistband of her shorts became a problem.

I sat up and moved so that I could hook my fingers into the elastic of her pants, and slowly pull them down her legs.

I paused to look at her for a minute - because really she looked hot - _amazingly_ hot.

Her skin was flushed, her lips were pink and swollen from kissing, and her curly mane of hair was tangled in a way that somehow made her look even more amazing.

"Would you stop staring at me?" she said, a slight smile on her face.

I chuckled, "I can't help it."

She rolled her eyes, but before she could say anything I slid her underwear down her legs and tossed them on the floor.

I noticed her breathing was coming faster, but she kept her eyes on me while I moved between her legs.

"Malfoy, you don't have to -"

"I know," I said, pressing light kisses to the inside of her thighs.

She was squirming slightly, and I could tell she was turned on - maybe almost as turned on as I was.

I moved one hand to her hip and the other to her thigh, before bringing my mouth down to her clit.

Her hips jerked up and she moaned, the sound going straight to my dick.

I sucked, licked, and teased her until her hips were moving on their own accord and she was moaning loudly, her hands gripping the sheets - and _fuck_ it was amazing that I was doing this to her.

I couldn't help but wonder what _else_ I could do.

I slowly slid a finger into her and she gasped.

"Oh Merlin,"

I added a second finger before curving them up and pumping them in and out faster, looking up to watch her face.

"Oh shit," she said, biting her lip.

I felt her start to tighten around my fingers and I flicked my tongue against her clit a few times before she tensed up and came.

I slowly kissed my way up her body again, pausing over her lips.

Her breathing was fast, but she smirked and flipped us over so that she was on top.

I raised an eyebrow, "Taking charge are we?"

"Maybe for a little while." she said, pressing a soft kiss to my lips before kissing her way down my stomach.

She sat up and pulled my pants and boxers off at the same time, tossing them behind her and taking me into her hand.

She began pumping up and down, and I dropped my head back onto the pillow. Before I could react I felt her warm, wet mouth around my throbbing dick and I couldn't stifle the groan that escaped my lips.

She chuckled and the vibrations pushed me just that much closer to the edge.

 _"Fuck,_ Granger." I swore, pulling her up and crashing her lips against mine.

She sat up slightly and smirked, "You didn't let me finish."

"I can think of somewhere I'd rather finish - at least this time." I added with a wink.

She blushed and grabbed my wand off the nightstand, casting a quick contraceptive spell on herself.

I flipped us over and kissed her slowly, running my hands up her sides, across her hips, and then tangled them into her hair.

 _Fuck_ I wanted her so badly I could barely think straight - and Granger was apparently feeling the same way because she was moving her hips up against mine.

"Fuck Granger, you're driving me crazy" I said against her ear.

"The feeling's mutual." she said, running her hands through my hair.

"Please, I want you." she said softly, her lips ghosting over mine.

That was all I needed.

I shifted slightly, and then slowly slid into her - and holy fuck it was the best feeling I'd ever had.

"Malfoy," she moaned softly while I pumped out of her slowly, wanting to feel every inch of her, and wanting her to feel every inch of me.

She bit her lip, her eyes closed - but for some reason I wanted her to look at me - needed her to look at me.

"Granger, open your eyes."

She looked up at me, still biting her lip, and her cheeks flushed.

"Merlin, you're beautiful." I whispered, pressing heated kisses to her neck.

I felt - and heard - her breath catch at what I said, and she tightened her grip in my hair, pulling me up to crash my lips against hers.

"Go faster,"

And really, how could I refuse her?

"Oh shit, Malfoy," she dragged her nails down my back, and though I'm sure it should have hurt, it didn't - it felt _good._ And my name falling from her lips was a turn on all its own.

I could feel myself getting close, but I could tell she was close too.

She started to shake, her fingers clamped onto my shoulders, while she mumbled, "Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck."

"Let go Granger."

I slid a hand between our bodies and flicked her clit repeatedly until I felt her walls clench around me and her whole body shook as her orgasm washed over her for the second time that night.

I continued pumping in and out of her until she'd almost come down from her high, but I couldn't wait any longer - I came with a groan, my arms straining with the effort of holding myself up.

She shuddered one more time, and then the only thing you could hear was our heavy breathing and the thudding of our hearts.

I shifted off her, rolling so that I was next to her looking up at the still charmed ceiling, a million different fireworks going off, and I couldn't help but think that what had just happened with Granger had been similar, like little tiny explosions going off inside my head.

I turned my head to look at her, and her breathing had slowed some, and she was looking up at the fireworks.

"Come here," I said softly, tugging her hand to pull her over to me.

She looked surprised, but let me pull her so that her head rested against my chest.

"Wow," she said softly, her cool breath fanning against my stomach.

I chuckled, "Wow like you thought my cooking was wow, or -"

"Don't ruin it." she said softly, "Not just yet."

I didn't have to ask to know what she meant, so I just pressed a kiss to her forehead and said, "When you asked me if it was worth it, I definitely should've said yes right away."

She laughed, an actual happy, no-strings-attached laugh, "Well I'm glad you think so."

"I definitely do." I said, watching as she turned to look up at me.

Instead of saying anything she just pressed a light kiss to my lips and turned so that her back was against my chest.

I wrapped one arm around her, and pulled the blanket over us.

I closed my eyes and listened to the steady beating of her heart until she fell asleep, and soon after that, I was asleep too.


	15. Chapter 15

**DPOV**

I woke up the next morning feeling better than I had in _months,_ and it wasn't until I opened my eyes and found a sleeping Granger curled up next to me, that I remembered just exactly why I felt so much better.

I couldn't help the smile that made its way onto my face as I looked at her. She just seemed so peaceful, here, in _my_ bed.

Yesterday had been...better than anything I'd ever experienced before - but for some reason the thought irritated me. I mean out of all people to have _mind blowing_ sex with, it had to be the _one_ girl I couldn't have.

I watched as her lips parted and she mumbled something I couldn't understand, before falling quiet again, her long eyelashes casting a shadow on her cheeks.

I sat up and winced slightly. What the fuck -

Scratch marks.

Ah, I remembered that.

I smirked, but before I could get out of bed I heard Granger.

"I'm sorry." she said softly.

I turned and looked down at her, but she was looking at my back.

I shrugged with a smirk, "Don't worry about it. At least I know you enjoyed yourself."

She blushed and sat up, pulling the blanket up with her, and looked around my room - no doubt for her clothes.

I chuckled, "Nothing I haven't seen before Princess."

She glared at me, but I could see her fighting back a smile, "That doesn't mean I'm just going to start strolling around here naked."

"Shame, that'd sure be nice." I said, leaning forward and capturing her lips in a kiss.

She sighed and relaxed into me almost instantly, and for some reason the gesture made me happy, and somewhat...sad, at the same time.

I didn't want it to be this easy between us, because it still couldn't work, and we were both heading down a dangerous path with what we were doing.

But somehow I just didn't want to stop.

"They're coming back today." she said, her lips moving against mine.

I sighed and leaned my forehead against hers, "I know."

"I should get dressed."

"I know,"

And even though I said that, I didn't move my hand from around her waist. Instead I pulled her on top of me, so she was straddling my waist.

She gasped in surprise, and I smirked. The blanket had fallen down around her waist, giving me a _great_ view of her amazing breasts.

She yanked the blanket up around herself and I smirked wider, enjoying the blush that spread across her cheeks.

"Shy all of a sudden Granger?"

She scowled and stuck her tongue out, "I need to get dressed, and so do you. They're going to be coming soon and we should be downstairs waiting."

I shrugged, "I'd much rather stay right here."

Just having her on top of me was making me hard, and I'd love to just shag her again and again - to hell with everybody else.

She sighed, "Me too,"

I was surprised by her admission, but decided to go with it.

I sat up and slid my hands to her waist, moving the blanket to fall back around her hips, and began kissing her neck.

"Then stay here."

She put her hands over mine and tried to lean back, "We can't. I have to get ready."

"I don't think it'll be the end of the world if you're not there to greet your friends _right_ when they get here Granger."

I could tell her resolve was weakening, so I went back to kissing her neck and sliding my hands up her sides, and I heard her breath hitch, and she sighed.

"You make it too easy to stay." she said softly, her voice sad.

I stopped what I was doing and looked up at her, but she wasn't looking at me. She was looking over at the window, watching as snowflakes fell and stuck to the glass, a conflicted look on her face.

"I'm sorry." I blurted.

She turned and looked at me, but didn't say anything, just studied my face, leaving me to wonder why the hell I'd apologized to her, and for _what._

"You're right. We should get ready."

She nodded slowly, her face impassive, and moved off me, taking the blanket with her, and disappeared from my room without a backward glance.

I fought back the urge to yell, and ran a hand through my hair.

_You make it too easy to stay._

She's the one who made it too easy for me to _ask_ her to stay.

I got up and walked over to my dresser, spotting Granger's clothes strewn around.

I groaned and pressed the palms of my hands against my eyes, hard enough to make colors explode across my vision, before I could grab my clothes.

I didn't hear the shower on in the bathroom so I pushed open the door, but I found Granger sitting on the floor in front of the shower with a towel wrapped around her, steam fogging up everything so badly that it was hard to see anything.

"Granger?"

She snapped her head up to look at me and jumped up, "Sorry, I was just leaving."

She tried to walk past me, but I caught her arm, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," she said, looking down at the ground.

"Liar. What's wrong?"

She shook her head, "Please Malfoy, just let me go."

"Granger, what -"

"Just drop it." she snapped, yanking her arm out of my grasp.

She could be pissed at me all she wanted, but I wasn't about to let this go.

I stepped in front of the door and she glared at me, "For _fuck's_ sake, I was just sitting there. If I'd known you needed to use the bathroom I wouldn't have taken so long."

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why were you just sitting there?"

"Because I can. Now move out of my way Malfoy." she said, crossing her arms over her chest.

I ran a hand through my hair and said, "What do you want me to do?"

"I want you to move. I just said that."

"No, I mean what is it you want me to do about _us._ "

Her eyes widened for a moment, but she said, "There's nothing _to_ be done."

I let out a frustrated groan and said, "Is that what you want? To just stop?"

She glared at me, "Do I _want_ to just stop? Did you really just ask me that?"

I took a deep breath and said, "You think _I'm_ confusing? _You're_ confusing Granger. We act like a couple, and then you seem fine when everything has to go back to -"

"I seem fine? _This_ seems fine to you?" she asked, her voice rising. "Because if that's what you think, you're more clueless than I thought you were."

"I can't know what you don't tell me Granger!" I said, yelling back.

"Why would I tell you anything? We knew from the beginning this was a stupid idea!"

She pushed past me, but I followed her, so not done with the conversation. She went to walk up the stairs, but I grabbed her hand, spinning her around and pushing her into the wall.

"I wasn't done."

"Well I was."

"Tough," I said, glaring at her, "If you knew it wasn't going to work, if you knew you didn't care, then why -"

"I _never_ said I didn't care."

I pushed away from her and tried to keep from ripping my hair out. "Granger, what the fuck do you want from me?"

"I want you to be someone else!"

I turned around and looked at her, eyebrow raised, "Excuse me?"

She ran a hand through her wet hair and slumped down onto the stairs, "I want you to be someone that I don't have a past with. I want you to be someone my friends will like. I want you to be someone that isn't afraid to be seen with me in public. I _want_ for you to be someone who has parents that won't hate me. That's what I want from you Malfoy, but you can't do any of it."

I walked over to her slowly, and knelt down on the stair below the one she was sitting on, "You're right. I can't do any of that."

She snorted, "So then why are we still having this discussion?"

"For fuck's sake Granger," I said, shaking my head, "I just want you to understand."

"Understand _what_?"

Good question. What did I want her to understand? My feelings? Hell, I didn't even understand those, how could I expect her to?

"That I want you." I said simply.

Her eyes widened, "What?"

"I. Want. You. Only you, and it's _been_ only you for the past few _months_ Granger." I said, my eyes holding hers. I needed her to understand that no matter how fucked up this whole situation was, I still wanted her.

 _Fuck it all_ , but I wanted her.

She blinked a few times, and then she closed her eyes, "I can't do this."

"Why?"

"Because I don't want to give you the opportunity to really hurt me - and trust me Malfoy, you could. You _would_." she said, looking at me.

"I wouldn't do it -"

"Maybe not intentionally, but Malfoy, it would happen. It would _have_ to happen. A secret relationship during school is one thing, but out there...it's impossible."

"Let me worry about it." I said, and I meant it.

I had never had a girlfriend - not that she was my girlfriend - like Granger before, and I'd never had anybody make me feel the way she'd made me feel about _anything_ before. I couldn't just let her go, not over something so stupid as my parents. I mean really, what could they tell me?

A lot, actually. I shoved the thought away.

"No, I can't just let you worry about it. You may be good at controlling your feelings, but I'm -"

"Granger, trust me, I'm not as good at controlling my feelings as you might think."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means that if I were as good at controlling my feelings as you seem to think I am, I wouldn't be in this situation right now. I wouldn't be trying to get you to stay with me for as long as we could. Because if I were good at it, I wouldn't care." I said, trying to make her understand that even though we had no idea what was going to happen at the end of the school year, it was better to have fun now than to regret it later.

She dropped her head onto her knees and sighed, "I don't know Malfoy."

"No one would know. That's what we both wanted right?"

She looked up at me, that same conflicted look from earlier that morning on her face, before she nodded, "Right. Yeah, that's what we both want."

Not true. I wanted to be able to kiss her whenever the bloody hell I wanted, but that wasn't happening. It'd get back to my parents and they'd kill me.

Literally.

With the thought of their reactions I shoved any ideas of telling them about Granger _far_ from my mind. That wasn't ever happening.

Not that I thought she'd be too keen on the idea of telling Potter and Weasel about me either, so I suppose that worked out.

"So what does this mean?" she asked, "We shag whenever you feel like it and ignore each other during school hours?"

"You know it's not like that." I said, irritated.

"That's what it is though, right? I mean it's not like I'm your girlfriend or something."

"Even if I called you my girlfriend, what would it matter? No one besides us would know."

"That's not the point." she snapped.

"So you want me to call you my girlfriend?" I asked with a smirk, "Because I could totally do that Princess."

She glared at me, "That's not what I meant."

"Then what did you mean?"

"I just mean...I don't know. We need to have rules if we're going to do this."

"Of course you'd want rules." I said, rolling my eyes, but more relieved than anything that she was going to go along with it.

"First of all, you don't get to shag other girls."

I chuckled, "I haven't been doing that for months, Granger."

"Yeah, but I know how you are."

"You know how I was." I countered with a smirk.

A small smile crossed her face, "Maybe," she said, "Second, you don't make _any_ hints toward Ron and Harry. I don't need them suspicious."

"Like I'd go out of my way to talk to Potter and Weasel."

"Well you went out of your way to mess with them."

"Like I said, that's how I was." I said with a shrug.

She narrowed her eyes at me, but moved on, "Thirdly, if you're here with Pansy - "

"I won't be." I said, interrupting her, "So don't worry about it."

She nodded slowly, "Okay, do you have anything?"

I chuckled, "Just one."

"What?"

"You and Weasley stop flirting."

Her eyes widened, "We do not flirt."

"Yeah you do." I said, rolling my eyes, "Just don't."

"Does it bother you?" she asked, a smirk on her face.

"Would it bother you?" I countered.

"If you flirted with Ron?" she asked, an innocent smile on her face.

I couldn't help but laugh, "Funny, but no. If I flirted with Pansy."

She sighed, "Yeah, I guess it would."

"Exactly. So that's the only thing."

She nodded, "This is completely insane."

I chuckled, "Probably."

"There's no way we're not going to get caught."

I shrugged, "I guess we'll just have to be extra careful."

She smiled, "You need to take a shower."

I leaned forward and caught her lips in a kiss, before whispering, "Join me."

She blushed, and started to shake her head, but before she could over think it, I took her hand and pulled her into the bathroom with me.

* * *

**HPOV**

I was completely out of my mind for agreeing to this. I mean what sane person agrees to be in a relationship for a set period of time - a secret relationship at that?

I shook my head and yanked my wet hair into a ponytail. I was glad that everyone was going to be here in a few minutes, because I needed some normalcy.

I slid into a pair of black jeans, a red sweater, and a pair of boots, grabbing a jacket on my way out the door. Malfoy had gone ahead of me, and by the time I got downstairs people were already filtering inside.

Malfoy looked over at me and smirked, and I just rolled my eyes, focusing on spotting my friends.

A few seconds later Luna was walking through the doors, and as soon as she spotted me she ran over, throwing her arms around me.

I chuckled and hugged her back.

"How was break?"

"Oh it was nice. You know, the usual." she said, stepping aside so Ginny could hug me when she came over.

Harry and Ron walked in, in front of Blaise and Theo, so I knew Malfoy had to have been watching, but I didn't dare glance in his direction.

Instead I hugged Harry, and Ron picked me up in a typical Ron hug, before setting me down and throwing his arms around Luna and I.

"I'm hungry, let's eat."

We all chuckled and headed into the Great Hall, that was now once again filled with people.

"So how was the Burrow? Tell me all about." I said to Ginny, Harry, and Ron.

They proceeded to tell me about the pranks they'd pulled, and Ginny explained that her mother had almost kicked them out - or threatened to anyway.

I laughed, but couldn't help but glance over at Draco's table. He was talking to Theo, Blaise, and Pansy, no doubt discussing what each of them did over break.

I turned my attention back to my own friends, and we fell into easy conversation as usual.

"What did you do Mione? Hopefully Malfoy wasn't too big of a git." said Ron.

I shrugged, "No more than usual."

They all laughed, and I quickly steered the conversation away from me.

"How was the food Molly made?"

Just as I'd expected, Ron and Harry went on about every detail of Molly's cooking - which really was spectacular - and all thoughts of me and how I spent my break were forgotten.

"Can you believe we've only got a few more months until we graduate?" asked Ginny, as Luna and I walked next to her toward our rooms.

"Five months." said Luna. She'd been keeping tally since the day we'd gotten here.

Ginny chuckled, "Well I can't wait."

"Neither can I." I said honestly. "I'm ready to start working."

"I still think you should open a bakery." said Ginny.

I chuckled, "That would require money. Money that I don't have."

She sighed, "Yeah, I guess you're right. But still. It'd be cool."

I nodded, "Yeah, it would be. But I'll open it one day."

Luna nodded, "Of course you will. It'd be a crime if you didn't."

We all laughed, and then parted ways, each of us heading to our separate dorms.

I pushed open the portrait and stepped into the Common Room, where I found Pansy, Blaise, Malfoy, and Theo all sitting on the couches.

Great. Because this is really what I wanted to deal with tonight.

"Hey Granger." said Blaise, a pleasant enough smile on his face.

"Hey," I said, nodding at him and Theo.

Theo smiled, and Pansy just glared at me, but thankfully kept her mouth shut. Draco looked over at me and said, "Hey,"

I just nodded and walked into the kitchen. All I wanted was a cup of tea, and to go upstairs and read a good book.

"Granger, why don't you join us?" called Blaise from his spot on the couch.

I turned around to find Malfoy standing in the doorway of the kitchen, an apologetic look on his face.

"Uh," I said, uncomfortable. The last thing I wanted was to sit there with his friends, "That's alright, I'm pretty tired."

Malfoy walked over to me, bracing his hands on either side of me against the counter, "You sure you don't want to?" he whispered, his lips ghosting over mine.

"Told you she wouldn't do it. Prudish as she is? Hang out with a bunch of Slytherin? Not happening." said Pansy, her tone smug.

I opened my mouth to fire back a sarcastic comment, but before I could Malfoy crashed his lips against mine, catching me completely off guard.

"I'm sorry." he said softly.

"Oh come on Granger," said Blaise, his voice closer - like right in the doorway.

Malfoy moved quickly, reaching over my head and pulling a glass out of the cupboard, before turning away from me and grabbing ice out of the freezer.

"What?" I asked, glancing at Blaise before turning to pour the hot water into my cup, and then setting the tea bag inside it.

"Just sit with us for a while. We're all adults now right? We should be able to sit without making you uncomfortable." he said with a smile.

I could appreciate what he was trying to do, but I still didn't want to.

"With Pansy there, I'm pretty sure one of us is bound to be uncomfortable." I said, forcing a small smile onto my face. _  
_

He chuckled, "She'll get over it. Won't you Pans?"

"Fuck off," she snapped.

I raised an eyebrow and he shrugged, as if to say 'what can you do?'

Well I knew what I could do.

"I think I'll just go upstairs and let you guys hang out..."

"Stay,"

I turned and looked at Malfoy - just like Blaise did. He was leaning against the refrigerator with a glass of Fire Whiskey in his hand.

"See, even Draco's cool with it. You don't have to stay long, just for a minute."

"If she doesn't want to, just let her go. She'd just be a drag anyway." whined Pansy, and I rolled my eyes.

"She's right."

Malfoy snorted, "Since when is she ever right?"

Blaise laughed, and Pansy made a noise of indignation, but didn't comment on it.

"Oh come on Granger, " called Theo from the couch, "He won't shut up until you come in here."

I looked over at Malfoy, and he just shrugged, "He's right."

I didn't want to do this. At all.

I _wanted_ to go upstairs and curl up with a good book. That seemed like a lovely idea, because really, what good could come out of sitting with Malfoy's friends?

Nothing.

"Fine,"

Great job, Hermione. Great job. This isn't going to blow up in your face or anything.

Blaise smiled and walked back into the living room and I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath. This was stupid.

I heard Malfoy set his glass down and move to stand in front of me again, "You don't have to do this."

"You're the one who told me to."

"Can you blame me?"

I opened my eyes, and saw him smiling down at me.

I sighed, "Five minutes. Max."

He chuckled, "Fine."

He walked out, taking his drink with him, and I stayed at the counter for a while longer.

When I couldn't put it off any longer I sighed, throwing the tea bag into the trash, and walked into the Common Room again.

Pansy and Draco were on the couch closest to the fireplace, and Theo and Blaise were on the other one, which was good because I had no intention of sitting down. Sitting down meant staying for a longer period of time, and I wasn't trying to do that.

"We don't bite Granger," said Theo, a smirk on his face that I was pretty sure all Slytherin had mastered, "You can sit down."

From the corner of my eye I caught Malfoy's scowl, but he was sitting next to Pansy so he could shove it. With a sigh I went and sat between Theo and Blaise.

"So how was the break Granger? Draco here doesn't seem to want to tell us anything." asked Pansy, patting Malfoy's leg.

I fought the urge to roll my eyes and shrugged, "How should I know how his break was?"

"Well you two are roommates."

"Well we didn't exactly hang out." I said, leveling my gaze at her, meeting her glare with one of my own.

Blaise jumped in and said, "Pansy, shut up. So Granger," he said, turning that look of his on me, "What's new?"

I raised an eyebrow at him, "Um...what?"

Theo rolled his eyes, "Just cut to the chase."

Blaise glared at him, and I took a sip of my tea, not liking anything about where this was going.

"Well I was trying to ease into it, but fine." he said, exasperated. "Granger, we'd like to get drunk with you."

I choked on my tea, barely managing not to spit it all over him, and asked, " _What_?"

"Well we feel bad for the shit that happened, and we thought -"

" _They_ thought." said Pansy, her hand on Malfoy's arm.

I tried to ignore it, and somewhat managed to.

"Whatever," said Blaise, "We thought that it'd be cool to just drink and put it all behind us."

His reasoning was completely insane, and really it was a dumb idea, but somehow tempting - but not for the reasons it should have been.

Part of the reason I'd been sitting in the bathroom that morning when Malfoy had walked in was because of the nightmare I'd had.

And getting completely shit faced would be a lovely way to put it out of my mind for a while.

"Yeah, we thought it'd be cool." said Theo, nodding.

I raised an eyebrow and he shrugged, "Past is the past."

To some people.

Of course I didn't say that.

I didn't say anything, actually, which prompted Blaise to start talking again.

"Tell her Draco,"

I looked over at him and he smirked, "If you don't think you can keep up Granger, you don't have to."

I narrowed my eyes at him, and even though I knew he was doing it on purpose I couldn't help but let it get under my skin some.

"That's funny, but no. I -"

"Told you she wasn't going to agree to it. You're just wasting time. Get the damn bottle already." snapped Pansy.

"You know what Parkinson, I'm getting _really_ tired of your shit."

"What are you going to do? Run away like you did at the ball?"

"I could, or I could punch you like I did in the hallway. Keep talking shit and see which one I pick." I said with a smirk.

"Oh, I'm so scared."

"Pansy, chill." said Malfoy, his jaw clenched, and then he turned to me, "Seriously, just have a drink."

I sighed, "Fine, _one_."

Blaise smiled, "Great. Accio Fire Whiskey."

A bottle flew into his hand and Theo conjured five shot glasses, taking the bottle from Blaise, and pouring it.

"Cheers," he said, knocking it back with ease.

I shrugged and tipped mine back too, welcoming the familiar burn.

Blaise chuckled, "Damn Granger, who would have thought." He drank his too, and then looked over at Malfoy and Pansy.

Pansy rolled her eyes, "Whatever," and picked the two shots up, handing one to Malfoy, and downing the other one.

Malfoy shook his head and downed his too.

"Well we have to take another one now, considering we didn't toast to anything." said Blaise, a smirk on his face.

I rolled my eyes. I knew exactly what he was trying to do, but I didn't care. "Alright,"

Malfoy raised his eyebrow, but didn't say anything.

"I knew I was gonna like you." said Theo with a smirk, filling up my shot.

I chuckled and when the three of us had a shot in our hands Blaise said, "To putting past shit behind us, and graduating on to bigger and better things and -"

"Just drink," I said, interrupting him with a laugh.

He chuckled, and Theo broke out into a grin.

"Yup, I knew I'd like her." he tipped back his glass, and I did the same, Blaise following suit.

I knew in the morning this would all be behind us, Blaise would have cleared his conscience, and we'd be back to normal, but for now? For now I was going to enjoy it.

I poured another three shots and said, "Cheers to getting shit faced."

Blaise and Theo laughed and whooped.

"I'll definitely drink to that." said Theo, clinking his glass with mine.

"You guys are idiots." said Pansy, but at this point I'd had too much Fire Whiskey to give a damn what she had to say.

She opened her mouth to say something else, but I flicked my wrist, turning on the radio that sat on the shelf by the wall, turning the volume up to drown her out.

Blaise laughed and Theo high fived me, and we did another round of shots.

I noticed Malfoy had a bottle of Fire Whiskey that he and Pansy were passing back and forth while having some sort of intimate discussion, and at that point I was so done.

Instead of pouring another shot I took the bottle from Theo and drunk straight from it.

Theo laughed and Blaise clapped, "Now why weren't we friends?"

I only laughed and handed the bottle to him.

All of a sudden I looked up and saw Pansy and Malfoy kissing, and I couldn't help but snort.

Theo looked up and rolled his eyes, "They do that all the time. Haven't in a while, but it was only a matter of time."

I shrugged, "Who cares?"

Blaise chuckled, "Exactly, crank up the music Granger, let's dance."

I laughed, actually enjoying their company - even with Pansy and Malfoy making out thirty feet away. I turned up the music and Pansy and Malfoy looked up, but I wasn't paying attention to him anymore.

Blaise and Theo had pulled me up and we were dancing - stupidly - but having fun.

More fun than I'd had in a _long_ time.

I could care less about what Malfoy and Pansy were doing, I was enjoying myself.

Theo and Blaise were probably equally wasted, but they never lost their sense of humor, passing the bottle around even while we were dancing.

Blaise flopped down on the couch, taking another big swig from the bottle, while Theo and I continued to dance.

I don't know how we went from stupid dancing, to actually dancing with each other, to him sitting on the couch with my legs thrown over his.

"You'll have to excuse them," said Blaise, gesturing to Malfoy and Pansy, who were talking to each other over by the door, "They don't like to socialize with others."

I chuckled, "Who cares? It's probably more fun this way anyway."

Blaise and Theo chuckled, "We are the fun ones out of the group."

I laughed, "Why did you guys decide to do this?"

Blaise shrugged, "We just felt bad about how things went, and even though we're not going to be best friends, we figured we could do this, just to clear the air."

I nodded, that was good. My friends would no doubt flip if I suddenly had Slytherin friends. So it was good that that's not what they were implying. They just wanted the air to be clear - and this definitely had done it.

"Well it was definitely an interesting way to do it."

Theo chuckled, "Worked though, didn't it?"

I laughed, "That it did."

He pulled me up, and for a second the room spun, but I got my bearings again quickly and fell into the music yet again.

I was completely wasted, and I wasn't thinking about the nightmare, I wasn't thinking about why the hell Pansy and Malfoy had been kissing - I didn't care about any of it.

Malfoy and Pansy had disappeared a while ago, and I could only imagine what they were doing now, halfway drunk and already into each other.

But it didn't matter. Not now.

After a few minutes Blaise flopped onto the couch and passed out, and I couldn't help but laugh.

"He always was a lightweight." said Theo, shaking his head at him.

I fell back onto the couch Pansy and Malfoy had been on earlier in the night and closed my eyes, "Tomorrow's going to be hell."

He chuckled, "Probably,"

He sat down next to me and for a minute we didn't say anything, just listening to Blaise's snoring, and the thumping of the music.

"You could do better than Weasley."

"What?"

"Weasley, you could do better than him." he said, shifting so he was closer to me.

Honestly I knew what he was doing, but I didn't seem to be able to find any reason not to let him. I mean whatever had gotten into Malfoy over the past few months was clearly gone, if tonight was of any indication.

"Really? Was there anyone in particular that you thought would be better?"

He smirked, and I suddenly realized that I couldn't do this. No matter what Malfoy was doing, it didn't matter. I wasn't him, and I wasn't about to do anything with one of his friends just because I was wasted and hurt.

He seemed to notice my shift in attitude and chuckled, "Nah, but I'm just saying. Weasley may be a good friend, but he won't be a good boyfriend."

And I agreed in a way. We were good friends, but that was all we were.

"You should probably get him back to his dorm." I said with a chuckle.

Theo nodded, "Stupid git. I'm always carrying him."

I laughed, and he joined in too, before standing up and hoisting Blaise off the couch with a grunt.

"Ridiculous," he said, smiling at me one more time before he disappeared out the portrait, closing it behind him with a click.

I sat on the couch for a minute longer, enjoying the music, too wasted to think about the stairs just yet.

What had just happened wouldn't happen again, and knowing that somehow made it better. Even with Malfoy's weird change of heart, I couldn't help but be happy.

I'd had _fun_. I'd let _go._

It didn't matter who it happened with, just that it happened.

I took a deep breath and headed for the stairs, tripping multiple times before I made it to my room. I shut the door, cringing when it slammed behind me, and climbed into bed.

Tomorrow would be interesting.


	16. Chapter 16

**HPOV**

I woke up with a pounding headache - and sadly a full recollection of what had happened last night. I had gotten drunk with Blaise, Malfoy, Pansy, and Theo - and I'd had fun.

Well except for the part where Pansy and Malfoy had started snogging their faces off on the couch - but I'd had fun nonetheless. I'd let go of everything, and just got drunk off my arse.

That would _never_ happen again, but the fact that it did was...nice.

I decided to try for movement. I needed to get downstairs, get some tea, and then try to take a shower and get ready so no one would know in what an unproductive way I spent my Sunday.

Moving, it turned out, was a _terrible_ idea. The entire room was spinning, and I groaned. How was I supposed to make it downstairs if I couldn't even make it out of bed?

All of a sudden there was a knock on my door and I put my hands over my ears. Why did they have to be so loud?

I glanced at the clock and noticed it was six-thirty - too early for any of my friends to be trying to get me, so that could only mean one thing.

Malfoy was the one knocking on my door.

I definitely didn't want to deal with him. Not without tea, and a shower, and preferably some nice high heels to kick him with if he continued to bother me.

I didn't say anything and the knocking started up again, and it was like a jack hammer going off in my head.

"I know you're in there Granger. We need to talk." he said. He sounded like he had just gotten up, and I couldn't deny the fact that he sounded incredibly sexy.

But I couldn't follow that train of thought - not with what happened yesterday.

"Go away," I mumbled, hands still covering my ears - not that it was doing much of anything for blocking out the sound.

"We need to talk." he said again.

"No, I don't think we do."

He groaned, mumbled a spell, and all of a sudden he was standing in front of me.

He had, in fact, just gotten out of bed, because his hair was a mess, his pajama pants were rumpled, and he didn't have a shirt on.

The last fact made it a bit difficult to stay mad at him, but all it took was to think of who was probably still in his bed to get me just as furious as I was before.

"Get out."

"Not until we talk." he said, his gray eyes piercing mine.

I shoved the covers from my legs, gritted my teeth against the vertigo, and stood up, glaring at him.

"I have nothing I want to talk to you about."

I started pulling out the clothes I was going to wear today - black skirt, white blouse, stockings, red pumps.

"Granger, let me explain - or at least try to explain what I think happened last night." he said, moving towards me.

"What you _think_ happened? Well I can _tell_ you what happened, Malfoy. You made out with Pansy on the couch, and then you disappeared. _That_ is what happened, and I don't need you to explain it to me."

He ran a hand through his hair and said, "No, Granger, you don't understand -"

"And you know what? I don't want to. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go get dressed. You should do the same." I said, sliding past him and out the door.

"Granger wait -"

But it was too late. His door was open and I saw Pansy lying in his bed on her stomach, the blanket that covered her had slid down, exposing her bare back, and I didn't need Malfoy to explain anything to me.

I snorted and turned to face him. He was standing in the doorway, his face paler than usual, and a look in his eyes that confused me - but it didn't matter.

"I guess you got what you wanted from me, so you go and get it from Pansy again - of all people." I said, disgusted.

He shook his head, "That's what I need to talk to you about. She -"

"No, just stop. Stop lying to me!" I shouted, not caring if I woke Pansy up, "You are the biggest liar I've ever met. You lied, you slept with me, and then you went and did exactly what I should've known you'd do in the first place."

I tried to walk past him, but he grabbed my hand, "Just listen. I can explain."

"There's nothing to explain. You just need to stay the hell away from me." I said shoving him out of my way and walking downstairs to the bathroom.

He had some nerve, trying to explain his way out of something that had clearly happened. He'd slept with her even though we'd talked about no shagging other girls - then again I should've known better. This was Malfoy, and he couldn't help but be a prat, shagging whatever came his way. I had just been his latest conquest.

I shoved all thoughts - especially the thought of us _together_ \- out of my head, and got into the shower, hoping that the scalding hot water would make me feel better.

No such luck.

If anything, I felt worse. I couldn't get the image of Pansy in Malfoy's bed out of my head, though I wished more than anything that I could.

I got out of the shower and wrapped a towel around myself, before trying my hair as best as I could, and then I slid into my clothes, taking special care to look extremely hot. That bastard would know what he'd lost.

I walked out of the bathroom, grabbed my bag off the floor by the door, and left without a backwards glance.

* * *

**DPOV**

I was going to murder Pansy.

Literally I was going to kill her, because what kind of fucked up person _drugged_ somebody to get a point across? What the fuck was _wrong_ with her.

"Give me one reason not to tell McGonagall and kick you out on your fucking arse right now." I said through clenched teeth, staring at Pansy - who was still on my fucking bed.

"You were making stupid decisions."

"So you thought you'd make my decisions for me?" I snapped, running a hand through my hair.

"Yes! Your parents would kill you, and you know that. Flirting with some muggle-born. What were you thinking?" she asked, shoving the blankets off her and getting up.

I rolled my eyes and looked away from her.

"Put your fucking clothes on Parkinson."

"But Drakey -"

" _Put your fucking clothes on._ " I said through clenched teeth.

She snatched her shirt off the floor, and when I looked at her again she was clothed.

"I just wanted her to realize that you were better than her, and that you didn't need her. I know you don't -"

"You don't know a fucking thing!" I shouted, running my hands through my hair to keep from shaking her, "It wasn't your place to _make me_ want you, Parkinson. And over _Granger_ of all people? Really Parkinson? That's stupid, even for you. I don't have an interest in the witch - I don't have an interest in _any_ of the witches here. Especially not daft, manipulative ones."

"Drakey, I -"

"Get the fuck out." I said, turning away from her.

"Please, don't you remember how amazing it was -"

"Maybe it was amazing for you, but it was _nothing_ to me Pansy. Do you get that? I don't want you. Now get the fuck out of my room, and if you so much as _look_ at Granger, I swear I'll -"

"I'm leaving." she snapped.

I sat down on my bed and dropped my head into my hands. How the fuck was I going to fix this with Granger? Considering she had every right to be completely furious, I couldn't exactly be mad at her.

I heard the portrait slam downstairs, and I glanced at the clock.

Fucking fantastic. I was going to be late.

* * *

**HPOV**

I was sitting in my last period class, so wonderfully shared with Malfoy and Parkinson, and tried to focus on the potion we were supposed to be making.

Verataserum.

Ha, how that would come in handy - not that I'd ever use it on anybody.

"Where's your head been at lately Mione?" asked Ron, giving me a small smile.

I sighed, "I just haven't been feeling too well. I'm fine though, really."

He nodded, though I knew he probably didn't believe me.

Since when could I not talk to my best friends?

"Hey, Ron?"

He looked up and I took a deep breath before saying, "Do you want to go to Hogsmeade with me this weekend?"

He smiled, "Of course."

Harry laughed, "We're all going together. Ginny said she can't wait to look for her Valentines Day dress, and she'd love for your help...or something like that."

I chuckled and rolled my eyes, "Well I can't wait."

"Your sarcasm was duly noted." said Ron.

I laughed, and felt a weight lifted from my shoulders. This was how it was supposed to be. Me and my friends, not me worrying about whatever Malfoy was doing.

"Have you applied for the Auror training program?" I asked Ron, while Harry went off to get ingredients for his potion.

He nodded, "Yeah, we find out at graduation if we got in our not. Harry applied too."

"I'm sure you'll both get in." I said with a smile.

He smiled back and said, "So what's up with the Buxom and Brant job? Are you definitely going to take it?"

I nodded, "Yeah, I mean it's an amazing opportunity. Plus I'm definitely going to need the money, so I can't really turn it down."

He nodded slowly, "Yeah. I hope the Auror program accepts me, because I don't know how long I can live with Ginny and Harry."

He shuddered in mock horror and I laughed, "Oh come on, it won't be too bad."

"You're only saying that because you're not staying there. Speaking of that, where _are_ you going to stay?"

"I'm going to get my own flat. Buxom and Brant is paying me in advance so that I'd be able to have the money to buy it, which is amazing of them." I said, adding a few ingredients to my potion.

"You seem like you've got it all figured out." he said with a smile.

I held back a snort. If only he knew.

"I wouldn't say all that, but I've got a direction to go in."

I looked around and realized I'd forgotten one of the ingredients I needed, so when Harry came back to the table I got up and walked to the back of the room.

"Granger, please, can we talk?"

I glanced to my right and saw Malfoy standing there, pretending to look for some ingredient.

"Go away," I said, cursing the fact that I couldn't find what I was looking for fast enough.

"Granger, just give me a chance. It's not what it seems."

When I didn't so much as look at him, he glanced back at the room to see if anyone was watching us - which they weren't - before he yanked my arm so I was standing close to him.

"It's _not_ what you think. If you cared at all, at _any_ point, you'll let me explain tonight."

Without another word he turned and left, sitting back down at his table.

I finally found what I was looking for and headed back to my own table.

My thoughts were all over the place, and I barely heard what Ron and Harry were saying about the Auror training program.

Did I really want to get sucked back into Malfoy's lies?

But what if he wasn't lying?

I bit back a groan and focused on my potion, finishing it at the same time Malfoy did.

Ron groaned, "Why does that prat always finish everything first."

I chuckled, "He just knows how not to turn himself green."

He scowled at my hint at his previously failed potions experiment, and Harry laughed.

"Oh shut up you guys." he said, his cheeks red.

I rolled my eyes, "Lighten up, everyone's messed up a potion."

"You haven't." he said.

I shrugged, "I don't count."

Just then the bell rang, and I said goodbye to Harry and Ron, telling them I'd see them at dinner.

With a sigh I trudged up the stairs to the Heads Dormitory, and pushed open the portrait.

I didn't see Malfoy, so I assumed he wasn't there. I took the opportunity to light the fireplace and spread my books out on the coffee table.

Just as I was getting started on Arithmancy, the portrait was being pushed open.

"Granger,"

* * *

**DPOV**

Granger looked livid, not that I could blame her. It all looked really, _really_ bad.

"Go away, Malfoy." she said, looking back down at her homework, "I'm busy."

"Well that sucks for you, because I'm going to talk anyway."

She glared at me, and said, "You're ridiculous."

I shrugged and walked over to her, "I just need to explain what happened."

Granger shook her head, "You don't need to explain anything."

I snatched her quill out of her hand and flung it across the room.

"For fuck's sake, _listen to me._ " I snapped.

Her eyes widened, but I finally had her attention.

"Pansy cast a spell on the Fire Whiskey I was drinking." I waited to see her reaction, and when she didn't start calling me a liar, I kept talking.

"It was something like the shit Second Years would fuck around with on Valentine's Day. Just something that would make someone fall for them."

"Like a love potion." she said, her voice impassive.

I nodded, "Yeah, a love potion."

"Why would she do that?"

"Jealousy." I said honestly, "She thought I was flirting with you, so she wanted to prove the point that I didn't...that I didn't want you."

"Does she know about us?"

I shook my head, "No, she just thinks I flirt with you, and I'm pretty sure I convinced her that we didn't even do that."

She nodded, "Okay,"

"Okay? You don't have anything else to say?" I asked, studying her carefully.

She sighed and looked up at me, "What do you want me to say?"

"What you're thinking, for starters."

"I mean am I supposed to believe you?" she asked, pulling another quill from her bag.

"Yes, you are. You know how Pansy is. It can't be that big of a surprise."

"Yeah, that just seems really convenient, Malfoy." she said, scribbling something down on her parchment.

I let out a frustrated groan and yanked her up onto the couch next to me.

"But it doesn't make sense. We had just agreed on not shagging other people, and I was the one who asked you to stay last night, so why the hell would I make out with Pansy in front of you?"

She opened and closed her mouth a few times, and I knew I'd made my point.

"I told you how I felt about you, Granger. That didn't change."

"But you had _sex_ with her." she said, a disgusted look on her face as she shifted away from me.

"Please don't do that." I said, tugging her back to me, "If I'd had any control over what I was doing I wouldn't have. I _swear_ I wouldn't have."

She took a deep breath, and then sighed, "I guess...I guess I believe you."

I let out a breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding, and said, "Thank fuck for that."

"What are you going to do about it?"

"I told her to leave me alone. That if she kept fucking with me I was going to go to McGonagall."

"Why didn't you go today?"

"Granger, she's still someone I...at least used to care about."

She sighed, but seemed to accept it.

"Are we okay?"

"Yeah, I guess." she said, her eyes not meeting mine.

"Granger, look at me." I said.

She turned and looked at me, her toffee colored eyes staring into mine.

"I just don't know how to handle the fact that you -" but she stopped herself.

"That I what? Slept with Pansy?"

"It doesn't matter," she said, shaking her head, "We're fine. But I've got Arithmancy homework that's due tomorrow."

She slid from the couch and began scribbling problems down on her parchment again.

With a sigh I stood up, knowing that she at least believed me - but it didn't seem to do much in regards to her speaking to me.

I didn't know what she wanted from me. I hadn't had a choice.

I wanted to bang my head against a wall, but restrained myself. That wouldn't go over well, I was sure. And knowing Granger she'd yell at me to keep it down while she was doing her homework.

I didn't know how I was supposed to make things right with her, especially since what had happened hadn't been my fault.

Though I could see the fact that I'd brought her to the common room in the first place, which wasn't my best idea.

I groaned and tried to keep from ripping my hair out as I walked into my room. I flopped face down onto my bed and just wanted to forget about everything.

I don't know how long I stayed there like that, but eventually there was a knock on my door.

I sat up and said, "Come in,"

Granger pushed open the door, and stood in the doorway awkwardly, until I chuckled.

"You can come in, Granger."

She nodded slowly and stepped into the room.

She was doing everything she could to avoid eye contact with me, so I raised an eyebrow and said, "What are you doing?"

She groaned, "I should be furious with you."

"But it wasn't my -"

"But I'm not. I should be, because even though she did put a potion in your drink, you still brought her here - after you told me you weren't going to do that. I had a rule for that too, you know. You just didn't let me tell you because you _thought_ you weren't going to be here with her - which I should have known was a lie anyway -"

"It's not like that Granger." I said, sitting up in bed, "Pansy was hanging out with Theo when we all got the idea to hang out. I didn't -"

"It doesn't matter." she said, sitting on the edge of my bed, "If it's not Pansy it'll be someone else."

I shook my head and ran a hand through my hair, "No, Granger, it won't be. I hadn't shagged _anyone_ since that first time with Pansy. I had quit shagging other girls before you'd said more than two civil words to me. What makes you think I'd lie about that?"

"Because I know you!" she said, throwing her hands in the air. "I know that you just can't _help_ but want to shag the hottest girl, and -"

"And that would be you."

She opened and closed her mouth a few times, clearly surprised by what I said.

I chuckled and said, "Don't look so shocked. You know what I think about you."

"You called me beautiful like twice, once when I was bawling my eyes out because of what Pansy said, and the second time was during sex."

"And I meant it both times." I said honestly. "You are beautiful."

"I - you - this can't -" she stopped herself and took a breath, "Why is this so important to you?"

"Because _you_ are important to me." I said simply.

Her eyes widened and she finally released the breath she'd been holding since she walked into my room.

"Okay," she said softly.

I moved closer to her and tilted her chin up so she was looking at me, "Okay?"

A small smile graced her lips and she nodded, "Yeah,"

"So," I said, leaning closer to her, "Is this okay?"

I heard her breath hitch, but she nodded.

"Yeah,"

So I kissed her, and it reminded me exactly why I wanted to keep her for as long as I could. I _felt_ something when I kissed her. Something real, and that was something to fight for.

She pulled back slightly, and seemed to be studying my face for a few moments before she spoke.

"You know, I still think this is a dumb idea."

I chuckled, "And I still think it'll be fine."

She was biting her lip, and I could tell she was thinking about something.

"What?"

She looked up at me, a sheepish smile on her face, "Well, I kind of asked Ron to go to Hogsmeade with me."

I narrowed my eyes, "Like a date?"

"I don't know." she said with a shrug, "I was just mad at you."

"Weasley, though? Really?"

"He's my friend, Malfoy. He's always been there for me." she said softly.

He'd always been there for her - as opposed to me, who was always fucking something up.

"It's fine." I said with a sigh. "We wouldn't have hung out anyway."

At that she laughed, "Could you imagine? Us, just strolling down the street hand in hand -" she broke off into a fit of giggles, and I couldn't help but chuckle. Her laugh was infectious.

"I'm going to go finish my homework." she said after she'd composed herself.

She stood up, and I did the same, matching her movements until her back was against my bedroom wall.

"Malfoy," she said, her toffee eyes looking up at me, "My homework? It isn't going to finish itself."

I ignored her comment and trailed light kisses down her neck, grazing my teeth across her shoulder and causing her to take in a sharp breath.

I chuckled and moved up to her ear to whisper, "Are you sure you want me to stop?"

She groaned, "No...but the thought of you and Pansy...I just can't."

I sighed, but understood where she was coming from. The thought of her and the Weasel shagging made my stomach turn - and that hadn't even happened.

"I'm sorry," she said, looking up at me.

I chuckled, "Only you would apologize for my fuck up."

She smiled and I leaned down again, trailing my lips over hers.

She closed her eyes and said, "You're too tempting for your own good."

"Oh I think it's definitely working in my favor with you." I said, biting her bottom lip.

She groaned and slid her hands up my chest, winding them into my hair and pulling me closer to her.

"I hate that you make it so hard to say no." she said, her lips brushing against mine with every word.

Merlin, I wanted her - but I respected her decision not to.

"Another time, Princess." I said, pushing away from her - with a considerable effort.

She smirked, "Most definitely. Now if you'll excuse me, those Arithmancy problems are just begging to give me a headache."

She left my room with a smile, and I heard her pad down the stairs.

I took a deep breath and tried to calm my thoughts - which was of course impossible, especially with her sitting right downstairs.

I cursed, grabbed a change of clothes, and headed downstairs to the bathroom for a cold shower.

* * *

**HPOV**

I didn't know if I forgave Malfoy because I actually believed him, or because I just needed him to be telling the truth for my own selfish reasons.

Either way I was glad we were talking again, though I wished I could confront Pansy about her little potion. But of course I couldn't do that, because then she'd know something was up between Malfoy and I, and that was the last thing I wanted.

I heard Malfoy walk into the bathroom and turn the shower on, and I instantly had a thousand and one dirty thoughts rush through my head - but I wouldn't act on them.

I couldn't, right? I mean he'd just shagged Pansy not even twenty four hours ago.

But he looked incredible in the shower - all wet and -

I shook my head and took a deep breath. I needed to focus on my Arithmancy.

But I couldn't. Not with the shower running, and his deep voice humming along to some tune -

With a frustrated groan I threw my quill down and pushed open the bathroom door.

He hadn't noticed my entrance, so before I could over think everything and chicken out, I slipped out of my clothes and slid open the shower door.

He turned, and his eyes widened in surprise, but he stepped back to make room for me.

"This isn't really helping me." he said, trailing a finger across my cheek.

"Helping you what?" I asked, trying to maintain a normal breathing pattern.

"Well I came in here to try not to think about how _fuckable_ you looked, but now here you are..." he trailed off, his voice rough.

I stepped forward and slid my hands up his wet chest, "Well then I guess you're just going to have to think about it."

He smirked and pushed me back against the cool tile of the shower wall, his hands finding their way to my hips easily.

I threaded my hands into his hair and yanked him towards me, crashing our lips together in a passionate kiss. He groaned and slid his tongue along my bottom lip, and I granted him access quickly, desperate to get closer to him.

I felt his _very_ noticeable erection pressed against my inner thigh, and I groaned - I wanted him, _badly_.

His hands slid up my sides and to my breasts, pinching and teasing my nipples. I gasped and turned my head to the right, my hands in his hair tightening.

He started placing heated kisses down my neck and shoulder, until he got to my chest. He licked and sucked one nipple, while his hand toyed with the other.

I couldn't help the moan that escaped my lips, and I felt him smirk against my skin, before he moved back up, claiming my mouth in a heated kiss.

His right hand slid down my stomach, while his left tangled into my hair, and I just wanted him everywhere all at once.

He was overwhelming to be with. He made it hard to breath. He made me feel beautiful, and wanted, and it was crazy because he was the one person who shouldn't have been making me feel any of those things.

His hand slid lower until he was rubbing my clit, and I couldn't help but move my hips against his hand.

"Oh Merlin," I panted, trying to stifle my moans.

He chuckled and without warning slid two of his fingers inside me, and I couldn't help but gasp and dig my nails into his shoulders.

I was pretty sure it had to have hurt, but he didn't say anything, just continued moving his fingers in and out of me, hitting that perfect spot over and over again.

"I can't, oh Merlin,"

Malfoy smirked and instead of stopping, dropped down onto his knees in front of me and lifted my leg onto his shoulder. He removed his fingers, and before I could groan in protest, her replaced them with his mouth.

"Oh shit," I gasped.

He chuckled, and the vibrations nearly made me collapse.

Malfoy tightened his grip on my waist, and continued his ministrations. After a few moments I could feel the coil in my stomach snap, and I came, barely managing to stay on my feet.

He kissed his way back up my body, a satisfied smirk on his face, before he kissed me.

"Fuck, I want you." he said, his lips trailing across my neck.

I bit my lip and forced back a moan, "I want you too."

He pulled back and looked at my face, "I don't want you to think -"

"I was the one who came in here, remember?"

He chuckled and asked, "Are you sure?"

I nodded. I'd never been more sure about anything before. As mad as I was that he'd shagged Pansy, I couldn't seem to care at that point.

He wanted me, he was here, and _Merlin_ he looked good. Cheeks flushed, wet hair falling into his eyes, tense muscles straining to keep his composure - it was almost too much just looking at him.

He smirked, devilishly handsome as always, and slid his hands to my thighs, lifting me up so I could wrap my legs around his waist.

He kissed me again, softer this time, and slowly slid into me.

We both groaned at the contact, and he stilled, his lips inches from mine, our breathing labored.

"Malfoy," I groaned, wanting him to move.

He looked at me and smirked, thrusting his hips forward sharply once, causing me to gasp out and dig my nails into his shoulders again.

"Tell me what you want me to do." he said, his voice sinfully sexy.

"Move,"

He shook his head, "Tell me how Granger. Fast?" he asked, thrusting into me quickly twice, "Or slow?" he asked, sliding into me slowly, and pulling out just as maddeningly slow - but it felt amazing.

"Answer me."

"Merlin, whatever you want." I said, squirming against him.

He chuckled, "Fast or slow?"

I groaned, "Fast."

As soon as the word left my lips he started moving, thrusting in and out of me.

The position we were in allowed him to hit the right spot with every stroke, and it didn't matter that the tile was hard, and that the water had gotten cold, because holy _shit_ this felt amazing.

I tipped my head back and tried to control my moans, while he nipped and licked at my neck.

"I want to hear you Granger," he said, thrusting into me hard enough to make me call out his name.

He groaned, "Fuck, do that again. Say my name again."

"Malfoy, oh Merlin, Malfoy don't stop, don't ever stop." I whispered, my hands trailing down his back.

He muttered a string of curses, and then crashed his lips against mine, swallowing my own moans along with his.

I was so close, my breathing was coming in gasps, and I couldn't help the noises that were constantly escaping my parted lips.

He moved a hand down to flick my clit, and I came seconds later, and he followed closely behind.

We stayed like that for a few moments, before he set me down, but didn't move back. Instead he kissed me softly, running his hands through my hair.

"I don't know how I got so lucky." he said quietly.

My eyes widened, but instead of ruining the moment with words, I just pulled him towards me, kissing him again.

I so rarely saw this side of Malfoy - the side that actually cared. The side that got off by me saying his name. The side that said sweet things only meant for me.

This was why I'd forgiven him. This was why I believed him.


	17. Chapter 17

**HPOV**

It had been two weeks since Pansy's little _incident,_ and I completely refused to let her get away with what she did to Malfoy, and I knew he wasn't going to say anything beyond, 'fuck off'. Because much as I might hate her, they had been friends - though I didn't know where they stood now - I knew he wouldn't do or say anything _too_ mean.

 _So,_ I needed to come up with something...I _would_ come up with somthing...some how.

Being sneaky and conniving and vengeful wasn't exactly my thing, but having spent _months_ with the Slytherin Prince, a few things had to have rubbed off on me...right?

Shoving the thought away, I shrugged the blankets off myself and grabbed a pair of sweatpants. It was Saturday morning and I had no intention of going anywhere for quite some time.

I knew Malfoy was still asleep, because it was cold, and if he'd been awake he would've lit the fireplace.

I padded downstairs, clad in baggy sweatpants and a tank top, and pointed my wand at the fireplace, pleased that the room was already starting to heat up.

I busied myself in the kitchen, making tea and pancakes for breakfast.

I guess the smell must have reached upstairs, because just as I was sitting down at the table he showed up in the doorway.

"Hungry?" I asked.

"You made breakfast."

I rolled my eyes, "Yes, so it would seem. Are you hungry or not?"

He smirked, handsome and sinfully delicious looking, in only his pajama bottoms - that were hanging delightfully low - and said, "Yes, but not for pancakes."

He walked around the table to stand in front of me, and I realized exactly what he was insinuating.

"Oh no, I'm hungry Malfoy."

Before he could open his mouth and no doubt spit out some lewd comment, I continued talking, "And not for you, but for the food I made. You're welcome to join me if you'd like."

He sighed, but took a seat across from me.

We ate in silence, and only when I stood up to do the dishes did he say something.

"I cannot believe how fucking hot you look in that outfit, Granger."

My eyes widened and I fought the blush that was no doubt forming on my cheeks.

"You look beautiful like that." he said, his voice softer, as he moved to stand in front of me.

"Like what?"

"Blushing."

That, of course, made me blush more, and made Malfoy smirk.

"Nice to see I have some positive effect on you Princess." he said, trailing a hand over my warm cheek.

"What are you doing?" I asked, my voice, for some unknown and traitorous reason, was barely above a whisper.

"Well I'm hoping a certain witch will let me snog her senseless for a while." he said with a smirk.

I couldn't help the small chuckle that escaped, and I slid my arms around his neck, "Is that right?"

He nodded, his hands moving to my hips so he could place me on the counter, "I couldn't think of a better way to spend my morning."

When he said things like that it made it seem like we were just like any other normal couple - until it dawned on me that we weren't. Not even _close._

But that didn't matter. Aside from the fact that his mouth was doing truly wicked things to my neck, I was coming to terms with the _...conditions_ of this relationship - and I was actually having fun.

I forced myself to focus on the present, because _Merlin_ whatever he was doing was amazing.

His hands had somehow gotten my tank top off, and he was now pinching and teasing my nipples, while his mouth attacked my neck.

I couldn't help but moan and dig my nails into his waist, yanking him closer to me.

He smirked, "Easy Granger, we've got all day."

I rolled my eyes, "We most certainly do not. I bailed on Ginny a few weeks ago when she wanted to go dress shopping, and now that Valentine's Day is getting closer, she's _begging_ me to go dress shopping with her."

Malfoy groaned, "Right, the ball."

I nodded and grabbed my shirt, sliding it back on, "Which is why she wants help, pronto. I think Luna's going too."

"Well then can't you stay here and -"

"Nope," I said, pressing a kiss to his nose before hopping off the counter.

He followed me, snaking his arms around my waist and resting his chin on top of my head, "Are you going?"

"Weren't you listening? I just said I -"

"No," he said chuckling, "Are you going to the ball?"

"Oh," I said, pausing as he began trailing feather light kisses across my neck, "Well I don't think Ginny would let me skip out on it even if I wanted to."

"So I get to see you in a dress?"

I rolled my eyes, "Obviously."

He pulled me against himself sharply, allowing me to feel how turned on our snogging had made him, and said, "As long as I get to take it off you at the end of the night."

I groaned at his words and turned to face him, lacing my hands into his hair, "And why, Mr. Malfoy, would you want to do that?"

He smirked, and a mischievous glint entered his eyes as he bent down to brush his lips against mine, "Because I'm going to ravish you, Princess."

Butterflies erupted in my stomach, and I couldn't help but blush.

"Well we'll just have to see." I said, spinning away from him and walking upstairs to get dressed.

It was going to be a long day.

* * *

**DPOV**

"Who would have thought Granger would be such fun."

I raised an eyebrow at Theo, surprised by the random outburst.

Blaise, Theo, Goyle, and I were all sitting in the library studying for our potions exam - though Granger had been studying with me so I had no doubt about my ability to pass the test with ease.

"You didn't even think to invite me." muttered Goyle, scribbling something onto his parchment.

Blaise rolled his eyes, "You haven't been around lately. How were we supposed to know you wanted to come along?"

"Getting drunk? With Granger? Why wouldn't I have said yes?"

"Why would you have?" I asked, shooting him a look.

"Incase you haven't noticed, Draco, she's hot." commented Theo, looking up from the book he had in front of him.

"Of course he hasn't noticed." said Goyle. "He and Pansy -"

"Have nothing going on." said Blaise, jumping in before I ended up having to punch Goyle in the face.

I ran a hand through my hair and sighed, "It doesn't matter. It was a one time thing. You wanted to clear your conscience, and you did."

Blaise nodded, "Indeed."

Theo didn't say anything, just focused down at his book again, and it irritated me.

True, I had no _real_ right to claim Granger, but we had a _thing_ going on, and the fact that Theo obviously thought she was hot wasn't sitting too well with me.

I shoved the feeling away and glanced out the window. The snow was still covering the ground, but it had begun to melt - thank fuck for that - and people were starting to venture outside more often.

"Does it seem like Pansy's been avoiding us?" asked Goyle, looking between the three of us.

I had told Blaise and Theo what had happened that night we'd been drinking with Granger, and they hadn't hesitated to tell Pansy just _exactly_ what they thought of her little stunt.

_"Have you gone completely fucking mental?" snapped Blaise, his furious gaze pinned on Pansy._

_She rolled her eyes and pretended to be unaffected, but I knew better - we all did._

_"What? He just needed to be reminded that we don't associate with people like her. They're not worth our time."_

_"The only person I_ _see who's not worth our time is you." said Theo, leaning against the dungeon wall of the Slytherin Common Room._

_"Excuse me?" she asked, her voice high pitched and shrill, "When did you all start choosing muggle-borns_ _over best friends?"_

_"Would you grow up?" I asked, finally breaking my silence._

_"Grow up? You're the one walking around like a Fourth Year with a crush!" she accused._

_Theo rolled his eyes, "Please, get real Pansy. Draco and Granger? You really are mental."_

_Blaise nodded in agreement, "They get along alright, but what the hell would make you think that they were doing anything?"_

_Pansy opened and closed her mouth, trying to come up with something, when she finally blurted, "He keeps defending her!"_

_Blaise snorted, "Because you keep acting like a bitch."_

_Her eyes widened with indignation and she said, "I'm doing what we've been doing since we got here."_

_"In case you haven't noticed," I said, trying to keep my voice down, "A few things have changed."_

_"I'm just trying to look out for you." she said, glaring at me. "Do you know what your parents would do if they found out you were fucking around with -"_

_"I'm well aware, Pansy, so I guess it's a good thing nothing's going on between us." I said, fixing her with a glare._

_"Whatever, you guys side with him like you always do." she pouted, looking between Blaise and Theo._

_Blaise stepped forward and said, "We side with who we think_ i _s right, Pans, and sorry, but that doesn't seem to be you. Not this time. If you think about it, I'm sure you'll realize how ridiculous all this is."_

_She didn't say anything, choosing to flip all three of us off, before storming out of the common room, slamming the portrait behind her._

_"Can you believe it?" asked Theo with a chuckle, "She actually thought you and Granger -" he broke off into a fit of laughter, and Blaise chuckled too - and I had no choice but to join them, because really - what else was there to do?_

"She has been avoiding us." said Theo, not looking up from his book, "But it's not exactly just by her choice."

"What do you mean?" asked Goyle, as usual completely out of the loop.

"We're not exactly talking to her at the moment. It seems she has two apologies to give." said Blaise, bringing up the fact that he'd told her she owed me _and_ Granger an apology, to which she'd told him he could shove the apology up his -

"Apologize for what? And since when does she ever -"

"She doesn't." interrupted Theo, "Therein lies the problem, because until she does, we're not talking to her."

"Why?"

"Because she's -"

"Don't worry about it Goyle." I said shaking my head, "It doesn't really matter."

He let it go, like I knew he would, because really, life wasn't that complicated for Goyle.

I checked my watch and forced back a groan. Granger wouldn't be back from her little shopping adventure in Hogsmeade for at least a few more hours, and I was bored of hanging out with my friends. All I really wanted was to go to my room and shag Granger's brains out.

I quickly crushed that train of thought. It would be really awkward to explain why I had a boner to three guys in a deserted library.

I ran a hand through my hair and started packing up my stuff.

"Where you going?" asked Blaise.

"Upstairs. It's Saturday and this isn't exactly how I want to spend it."

Theo smirked, "Got a girl waiting for you up there?"

"I wish." I muttered, slinging my bag over my shoulder, "I'll see you guys later."

They nodded and mumbled goodbyes, and I headed upstairs.

Hopefully Granger wouldn't take much longer.

Though thinking about what she was doing made me remember how she'd looked at the last ball - fucking fantastic.

Merlin's balls I needed to get a grip.

* * *

**HPOV**

"That one's perfect!"

I raised an eyebrow and walked over to the full-length mirror, skeptical.

Ginny and Luna had been telling me that every time I walked out of the dressing room.

They'd both found their dresses, so that just left me - as usual - to be the last one to find one.

Ginny's dress was a beautiful long black number that dipped dangerously low in the front - which she said was a good thing considering Harry apparently loved her breasts.

I shuddered at the thought. That was definitely not what I wanted to be thinking about - now or ever.

Luna's dress was flow-y and faerie like - as they all usually tended to be - and in a beautiful light pink color that reached just past her knees.

They'd told me that the ridiculously short red dress had been the one. Then it was the long hot pink ball gown. After that it had been a series of misfires - until now.

The dress was beautiful.

It was floor length and red with a black lace overlay. The dress hugged my curves all the way to my knees, where it then flowed out in a less dramatic version of a mermaid style dress. The back was laced up in the way a corset would be, and it was strapless.

In other words, it was absolutely beautiful.

"Oh Merlin, you guys...this is it."

Ginny and Luna smiled.

"You're definitely going to turn some heads." said Luna.

Ginny smiled, "You sure turned some heads last time."

"Let's just promise not to come to blows this time, okay?"

Ginny smiled sheepishly, "No promises."

I rolled my eyes and changed back into my regular clothes, all the while wondering if Malfoy was going to like the dress on me.

When I came out, Ginny had already picked out a pair of shoes that went perfectly with my dress, and after we paid for our dresses we stepped back out onto the streets of Hogsmeade.

"Hopefully Harry likes it." mused Ginny, swinging her bag back and forth.

Luna chuckled and said, "You know he'd like you in anything."

I nodded, "He's crazy about you Gin."

She smiled, "I'm going to run and get some candy. I'll be right back."

Luna chuckled and I rolled my eyes. We both knew Ginny was getting Harry's favorite candy.

"You know," said Luna, sitting down on a bench outside the shop, "We should sneak into the kitchens more often. I'm missing your cake already."

I laughed, "We are _not_ doing that again."

"Aw but why not? Nothing happened last time." she said, nudging me with her elbow.

I rolled my eyes, "I'll think about it."

"Good," she said, smiling.

Just then Ginny came back, a bag of candy in her hand, and said, "Ready to go?"

I nodded and we headed back to Hogwarts, getting back just before it started pouring.

"Oh well that's just great." I said, scowling at the fast approaching storm.

"You should stay with us." said Luna, "I know you hate storms."

I was about to answer when a deep and sultry voice I knew all too well spoke up behind me.

"I don't think so. We've got things to discuss."

I turned and tried not to gawk at Malfoy. I mean what the hell was he doing?

"Damn Heads duties." muttered Ginny.

Luna just smiled serenely, as she always seemed to do, "Come on Ginny."

"Give me your dress." said Ginny, motioning to my bag. "I'll keep it in my room and we'll all get dressed there."

I nodded and handed it to her, "I'll see you tomorrow then?"

"Duh," she said, tugging Luna down the hallway, "We have to talk hair!"

I sighed and then they were gone, and I turned to face Malfoy.

"How'd you know I was here?"

He shrugged, noncommittal, and motioned for me to follow him.

"McGonagall did actually want us to discuss some things." he said, pushing open the portrait.

"Oh?"

He nodded, "The ball."

"Of course. What does she want us to do?"

"Well the first thing she said was that we'd better make sure another outburst doesn't happen like at the Halloween Ball." he said, his eyes clouding over a bit.

I nodded, "Yeah, I told Ginny that today at the store."

He smirked, "Speaking of that, what's your dress look like?"

I chuckled, "You'll just have to wait and see."

"Oh come on Granger, just give me a little hint." he said, tugging me down onto the couch next to him.

"Lace," I said, smirking when his eyes widened.

"Why do I feel like I'm going to be glaring at guys all night." he said with a shake of his head.

"Why?"

"Because they're all going to be staring at you." he pouted.

I chuckled and straddled his waist, "Well the only one I want to be staring at me, is you."

He smiled and put a hand on the back of my neck, pulling my lips down to his and kissing me softly before saying, "Good."

* * *

**DPOV**

The thought of Granger in lace _anything_ was definitely a nice thought - a _really_ nice thought.

She was sitting on my lap, her tongue doing something bloody fantastic, and I couldn't help but feel content exactly where I was.

Just then there was a loud clap of thunder, and she practically flew off my lap.

"Relax Princess, everything's fine." I said with a slight smirk.

She glared at me and said, "Don't patronize me you arrogant ferret."

I rolled my eyes and pulled her closer to me, my hands winding around her waist, "Just relax, seriously. Everything's fine."

She took a deep breath and rested her forehead against my shoulder, pressing a light kiss there.

"I'm being ridiculous."

I shrugged, "You're allowed to be scared of something Granger."

"I know," she said, shifting on my lap in a way that made me have to force back a groan, "But it's still stupid. I mean there's _nothing_ to be -"

But she squealed when another clap of thunder rattled the window panes.

"Didn't we have this conversation already?" I asked, forcing her to focus on me.

She nodded, "Yeah, you ended up staying down here with me on the couch."

"Well there's no way I'm sleeping on the couch again Granger."

"I didn't expect you to. Actually, it's late." she said, moving off me, "You should go to bed."

"You're coming with me."

Her eyes widened in surprise, not that I blamed her. I could count on one hand the number of times she, and every girl I'd ever been with, had slept in my bed.

But I wasn't going to let her freak out downstairs - besides, wishful thinking was leading me to believe I'd get the chance to ravish my -

Whoa.

Was I really about to refer to Granger as my fucking _girlfriend_?

I shook my head. No. Of course not. Of course that wasn't what I was thinking. I mean she wasn't my girlfriend.

"Why?" she asked, standing up.

"Because the couch hurts my fucking back Granger." I said, rolling my eyes.

"What if I don't want to sleep with you?"

The double entendre wasn't lost on her, and it definitely wasn't lost on me.

I looked over at her and smirked, "Of course you want to sleep with me. Everyone wants to sleep with me."

Granger laughed, "You're insufferable."

"Yet you stick around."

"I live here." she said, feigning disinterest, and failing miserably.

"Are you coming?" I asked, taking her hand and walking up the stairs backwards.

"It seems as though you're leading me Malfoy."

I smirked, "We both know what you were going to say."

She laughed and simply nodded in agreement.

When we got to my room I watched as she crawled onto the bed, the silk sheets sliding under her creamy skin, while I stripped off my shirt and jeans, sliding into a pair of green silk pajama pants that matched the sheets.

She magically called a pair of shorts and a tank top to herself, and quickly stripped, getting back onto the bed once she was dressed.

I moved to lie next to her, leaning up on one elbow to study her.

"What?" she asked, glancing up at me.

I chuckled, "Nothing,"

She rolled her eyes and was quiet for a while, humming contentedly while I ran my fingers through her hair.

"Thank you, for doing this I mean." she said softly.

I smiled and pressed a kiss to her temple, "No big deal."

"Of course it is." she said, "I know you don't like people in your bed."

"Well Miss Granger, you are definitely the one exception."

For some reason I liked seeing her in my bed. I liked feeling her soft, warm body pressed tightly against mine. I liked everything about her being in my bed with me, and not a single bad thought could come out of it.

I continued running my hand through her silky locks, and she snuggled closer into my side, causing me to smirk.

"Goodnight Malfoy."

"Goodnight Granger." I whispered back, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

It dawned on me that this was the first time we'd both consciously decided to sleep in the same bed together.

Well aside from when we'd had sex - though I guess she could have left.

I shook my head and pushed the thoughts away. It didn't matter. As long as this sexy witch was pressed against me I didn't give a damn about anything else.

I closed my eyes and listened to her steady breathing, and I'd never admit this - and I was slightly loath to even admit it to myself - but it was calming.

I could even feel her heartbeat, it's steady rhythm lulling me to sleep.

I didn't want things to be as easy as they were between us, because really it wasn't fair. This witch, this _one witch_ had affected me more than any of the witches I'd met, and any that my parents had tried to introduce me to.

And I couldn't have her. Not really.

And as unfair as all that was, I still loved every fucking second I spent with her, and I'd be an idiot to end it just because it had an expiration date.

Truth be told, I was pretty sure that I wouldn't find another girl who made me feel like she did, but I guess that would be alright. As long as I got to enjoy this for as long as I could, I don't think I'd mind marrying some trollip who I wouldn't give two shits about.

Honestly, I hated the idea of an arranged marriage. It was archaic - but I'd be completely out of my fucking mind if I told my father that.

I didn't know who exactly the girl was, though they'd told me there were still a few they were looking through.

All I did know was that she would be rich, pure-blooded, and 'beautiful'.

Though that word had a completely different meaning to me now.

I shook my head.

Stupid late night ramblings.

I closed my eyes and focused on Granger's heartbeat, letting it carry me away into a dreamless sleep, pulling her tighter against myself.


	18. Chapter 18

**DPOV**

The dance was tonight, and Granger and I hadn't seen much of each other. I'd heard her leave early in the morning, no doubt to Weaslette and Lovegood's to talk about last minute things that I couldn't be bothered to give a shit about.

I _was_ inclined to care about what I was going to do tonight. I was well aware of the fact that when it came to Granger I was weirdly protective - for _whatever_ reason - and if she looked anything like she did last time, I knew everyone's eyes would be glued to her.

I didn't like that. At all.

But I couldn't exactly do anything about it either - which was equally irritating.

I shook my head and glanced at the clock. It was seven. The dance was starting in an hour.

With a groan I got up and went to the bathroom to take a shower, and then upstairs to my room to get changed.

At exactly eight I heard heels clicking loudly against the stone floor outside, and I straightened my tie before heading downstairs.

In barged Weaslette and Lovegood, looking around the common room.

"Can I help you?" I drawled, pausing at the end of the staircase to lean against the railing, arms crossed.

Weaslette didn't say anything, but Lovegood looked over with a smile, "We're looking for Hermione's wand."

"It's probably in her room." I said.

Just then Granger stepped through the portrait, and fuck if I'd thought she looked good last time she'd completely blown me away this time.

The dress clung to _every fucking curve_ and she looked amazing. Her hair was pinned up into some weirdly intricate looking bun, a few curls falling out to frame her face.

"Close your mouth, Malfoy. You might swallow a fly." commented Weaslette dryly.

Granger ignored this and said, "I told you my wand was in my room."

Weaslette rolled her eyes, "You know I don't listen well."

With a shrug she slid past me and up the stairs, disappearing into Granger's room.

"You look very handsome." said Lovegood, looking at me with that same smile she'd had since First Year. I could see why Blaise had said he wanted to try and get with her.

She was quite pretty.

"Thank you, Lovegood. You look nice as well." I said, politely nodding my head at her.

"I'm going to get a glass of water." she said pointedly, leaving Granger and I in the common room alone.

"You do look very handsome." said Granger, walking towards me.

I smirked, "When you said lace...bloody hell, Granger. You look amazing."

She blushed, like I knew she would, and looked down at the floor, "Thank you."

I stepped forward, intent on kissing her, when Weaslette came down the stairs, "Got it!"

Granger stepped back, an apologetic smile on her face, and took her wand from the red-head.

"Thanks, Gin."

"Where the hell is Luna?"

"Here," she said, appearing from the kitchen, shooting me a knowing smile, "I was just getting a glass of water. We can go."

Weaslette rolled her eyes and took both their hands, leading them out the door, but not before saying, "I wouldn't wait too long Malfoy, your friends were looking for you outside the Great Hall."

Before I could respond the three witches were gone, and I ran a hand through my hair.

I wanted Granger. Badly. Like wanted to push her up against the wall and shag her brains out. I smirked at the thought. I would make it a point to get the little vixen alone - at least for a bit.

Pushing the thought away - for now - I headed down to the Great Hall.

I spotted Theo, Blaise and Goyle easily, and walked over to them.

"Well it looks like Granger's outdone herself this time." said Theo, looking at Granger approvingly.

Not that I blamed him. That dress hugged her perfectly and showed off her every curve.

Blaise nodded, "She does look good, but my eyes are elsewhere."

"Lovegood?"

He nodded, "Yeah, I'm going to try again."

Goyle rolled his eyes, "She's pretty, sure. But Granger...Granger looks hot."

I clenched my fists and took a deep breath, reminding myself that I couldn't say what I wanted to, and then said, "Yeah, I guess she does."

Theo snorted, "Please, you me and every other guy in here hasn't stopped staring at her."

I ignored him, and focused back on Granger. She was talking to Weasley, who looked all too happy to be there.

He leaned forward, as if to whisper a secret in her ear, but instead he kissed her cheek.

He fucking _kissed her_ and there wasn't a damn thing I could do about it. I turned away from them and focused on occupying my time.

"Hello Draco."

I turned to my left and saw Astoria, her dark hair slicked back into a bun. She had on an elegant white silk gown that seemed to flow down her body, which made the blush on her cheeks stand out even more.

"Hello Astoria. You look lovely."

"Thank you," she said softly, fidgeting with her hands.

I chuckled, knowing why she'd come over, but also realizing that she wouldn't ask.

"Would you like to dance?"

Her eyes lit up and she smiled, placing her hand in mine, "I'd love to."

Blaise gave me an approving smirk as I led her to the dance floor.

I put one hand on her waist, as hers went to my shoulder, and held her other hand in mine, as we fell into the familiar steps of the waltz.

"You're a very good dancer." she commented as we continued to dance.

I smirked, "All Malfoy's are good dancers."

She giggled, and though I'm sure it was supposed to sound attractive, I couldn't help but compare it to Grangers.

I glanced around the room, and my stride almost faltered when I saw her dancing with Weasley - who was an irritatingly good dancer.

His hand was resting unnecessarily low on her back, and they were pressed too close together for my liking.

I returned my attention to Astoria, and whatever the hell she'd been saying, trying to ignore Granger and the Weasel.

"I hear your parents are going to be having a graduation party for you at the end of the school year."

I nodded, "Yeah, they've already started sending out invitations."

She nodded shyly, "I know. My parents told me that they'd received an invitation a few days ago."

I wasn't surprised. The Greengrass's were always invited to any party my parents threw, and this was clearly no exception.

"Well I hope to see you there."

She blushed again and said, "Of course. I wouldn't miss it."

When the music came to an end I nodded at her, and walked back over to Theo and Goyle.

"Where's Blaise?"

They nodded their heads across the Great Hall and I saw Blaise talking to Lovegood - Granger nowhere to be found.

"Well I'll be damned. He actually got her alone."

Theo nodded, "He walked over when Granger and Weasley were dancing."

I fought the scowl off my face, and tried to seem impassive when I replied, "Good for him, though I doubt she'll sleep with him."

Goyle snorted, "Agreed."

Just then we heard a rather _loud_ discussion going on, and we headed over to it.

My eyes widened when I saw Pansy and Granger facing off against each other yet again, but Pansy looked... _off_.

Her hair was bright pink and her skin was green. She looked furious, and Granger had a self satisfied smirk on her face that let me know she'd been the one to alter Pansy's appearance.

" - just mad that he doesn't want you."

Granger snorted, "Please, if I _wanted_ Malfoy I could _have_ Malfoy. Good thing for you I've got no interest in the pompous git."

"I've seen what goes on!" she snapped, "He's always defending you and -"

"And who was he just dancing with you psychotic bitch?" she said, putting a hand on her hip, "Astoria - who seems like a _lovely_ match for him, pure-blooded and all."

I flinched, knowing she'd seen me dancing with her and probably wasn't all too happy - though she'd been dancing with fucking Weasley _and_ he'd kissed her.

Pansy seemed to falter for a moment, before saying, "Just fucking change me back."

"I didn't do that." she said, an innocent smile on her face.

"You stupid mudblood bitch, change me back!" yelled Pansy, stepping forward towards Granger -

Who looked totally unaffected.

I glanced behind her and saw Weaslette with a smirk, which meant she knew what Granger had done.

"I'd be happy to help Pansy, but I have no idea how to undo something I haven't done."

Pansy went to shove her, but instead of hitting her there was a spark, and all of a sudden Pansy had a fucking _beak_.

Everyone burst out into laughter, and even our House seemed to be amused.

"Now, now, that wasn't nice." said Granger, watching Pansy.

Pansy opened her mouth to shout something else, but Granger stepped forward and whispered something in her ear, to which Pansy grimaced.

"I'm waiting Parkinson." said Granger, hand on her hip.

If looks could kill, Granger would definitely be dead, but since they couldn't she turned around and looked at me, "I'm _sorry._ "

"Why?" asked Weaslette, speaking up next to Granger.

It was then that I realized what Granger was doing. She was trying to embarrass Pansy by getting her to admit what she'd done.

But the fact that Weaslette was speaking up meant that Granger had told her...then again we'd told Goyle and he'd kept his mouth shut.

Pansy turned around to glare at them, and said, "I'm not doing this."

"Then stay looking like a bird." said Weaslette with a smirk.

"I'm sorry I thought you had something with Granger." she mumbled.

"I'm sorry," said Granger, "I don't think he heard you."

"Fuck you Granger." snapped Pansy.

"I think we'd all like to know." said Theo, speaking up.

She glared at him, and then turned back to me, and spoke unnecessarily loud, "I'm sorry that I thought you and Granger were fucking around."

A bunch of people broke out into laughter, at how ridiculous the notion was, and Granger looked pleased, whispering something to Weaslette, who muttered a spell under her breath and Pansy was back to normal.

Ha, I guess Granger really _hadn't_ cast the spell.

Without a word Pansy left the Great Hall, leaving everyone else laughing at Granger's wonderfully executed prank. The best part was that everyone would just assume that Granger didn't want to be associated with me in _that_ way.

"That was wicked." said Theo, clapping me on the back.

"Who would've thought she'd be the one to get Pans to apologize." said Blaise, walking up to us.

I smirked, "Where's Lovegood?"

He rolled his eyes, "Well she's not exactly the type to -"

"Randomly shag?" supplied Goyle with a chuckle.

Blaise scowled at Goyle but didn't disagree.

Theo looked over at Granger and said, "This was definitely interesting."

I nodded, but then something dawned on me.

"Where the hell where the teachers?"

* * *

**HPOV**

"That was bloody brilliant!" said Ginny, her laughter almost uncontrollable.

"That'll teach her to lie about you and _Malfoy_ of all people." said Ron, throwing an arm around my shoulders.

I chuckled and wrapped my arm around his waist as Ginny, Harry, Luna, Ron and I walked out of the Great Hall.

"How'd you even find out that's what she thought?" asked Ron.

Everyone was looking at me expectantly, even Ginny since I hadn't told her exactly what had happened that night.

"She was in the common room spouting off ridiculous things, and when she saw me she accused us of...of -"

"Having a thing." said Luna.

I nodded, "Exactly."

Harry rolled his eyes, "That's got to be the dumbest thing I've ever heard. I mean I knew she wasn't the brightest witch, but you and Malfoy..."

Everyone chuckled, and I just shook my head in amusement. If only they knew.

"I'm going to head up to my common room." I said, hugging Ginny and Luna.

"I'll walk you." said Ron, his arm still around my shoulders.

"Alright, I'll see you guys tomorrow."

When Ron and I ended up in front of the portrait I leaned against it and said, "Do you think I was wrong for what I did to Parkinson?"

He snorted, "No, she deserved it. I mean who makes up a lie like that?"

I nodded, "Right, well thank you for walking me back."

He nodded, "No problem. I'll - um - I'll see you tomorrow."

I nodded and watched as he walked down the hallway, running into Malfoy along the way.

Malfoy didn't look pleased, and he snapped the password at the portrait and walked through without so much as a _glance_ in my direction.

I followed him in and asked, "What's wrong with you? Are you mad about what I did to Pans -"

"I could give a shit about Pansy, Granger. What I do give a shit about is the fact that Weasley was all over you tonight."

I rolled my eyes, "Are you talking about the kiss?"

That's when he exploded, "Yes I'm talking about the fucking kiss! Why the hell would you let him -"

"If you'd watched for more than a second you would've known that I _nicely_ told him I wasn't interested. Instead you went and started dancing with Astoria."

"You danced with Weasley."

"He's my friend, Malfoy!" I shouted. His eyes widened in surprise, but I didn't care, I was mad. "You need to get that through your thick skull. We are friends and -"

"He wants to be more than friends with you Granger. For Merlin's sake he wants to fuck you about as bad as I do, but please, do go on believing that he just wants to be friends." he snapped walking up the stairs.

"You're such a fucking git, you know that?" I snapped, "Maybe I should find someone else who doesn't get so jealous over every little thing." I spun on my heel and headed for the kitchen, but before I got there Malfoy had grabbed my arm and pushed me up against the wall.

His eyes were furious when he spoke, "What the fuck did you just say to me?"

I knew I was playing with fire, but I didn't care, "I said maybe I should find someone else to -"

"Shut up," he said, pushing away from me, "You think I _like_ being jealous of other guys Granger? Because I don't. I'm Draco _fucking_ Malfoy, and I shouldn't be jealous of anyone, but then you come along and change everything -"

"Don't you dare try to put this on me, Malfoy. You're the one who said this was a good idea. I _knew_ something bad was going to happen." I said shaking my head.

"Something bad? You call me fucking _caring_ about you a bad thing?" he asked, pinning me with his furious silver gaze yet again.

I was at a loss for words, because really, what the hell could I say to that?

"Well, no - I mean - I didn't -"

"Whatever Granger, why don't you just go find someone else who -"

Instead of letting him finish his rant, I grabbed his tie and yanked him forward so his lips were inches from mine, and said, "I don't want someone else Malfoy."

His eyes widened, and all the anger drained from his face, "I'm sor -"

I didn't care that he was sorry, it didn't really matter. I just wanted him to kiss me.

"Shut up," I muttered, before pulling his lips to mine.

He responded immediately, his hands finding my waist, and mine moving to tangle in his hair, pulling him even closer.

"So what do you really think of the dress?" I asked while his lips trailed down my neck.

He groaned and said, "I think that the second I saw you in it I wanted to push you up against this very wall and fuck you senseless."

I groaned at his dirty words, and tightened my hands in his hair, "What's stopping you now?"

He abruptly pulled away from my neck and looked at me, "Are you serious?"

I bit my lip, but nodded, "Yeah,"

He smirked, devilishly sexy, and crashed his lips down on mine, his hands sliding around my back to unlace the dress.

I shoved his jacket off his shoulders, and quickly went to work on the buttons of his shirt, pushing it from his shoulders right before my dress fell into a pile at my feet.

He groaned at my green lace panties - and nothing else.

I hadn't worn a bra with the dress since it had been strapless, and I was definitely thanking the gods for that choice.

"Fuck Granger, what are you doing to me?" he asked, before tangling his hands in my hair and kissing me again.

I went to work on his pants, pushing them from his hips, along with his boxers - for Merlin's sake I really just wanted him _right now._

He slid his hand into my soaked panties and I felt one of his skilful fingers slide into my pussy. I moaned and closed my eyes, moving my hips against his hand.

"Please Malfoy," I said, struggling to catch my breath.

He nodded in understanding and moved his hand, pulling my panties down and then lifting me up so I could wrap my legs around his waist.

Without a word he slammed into me, and I let out a scream, digging my nails into his shoulders as he repeatedly pounded into me.

"Oh Merlin," I panted.

He brought his lips back to mine, capturing my moans, and I felt like my entire body was on fire.

I was so close, and Malfoy must have realized this, because he pulled away from my lips to reach a hand down between us and flick my clit.

I bit my lip and he smirked, "Uh-uh, I want to hear you Granger."

He shifted me slightly, the new position causing him to hit my g-spot repeatedly, and I couldn't help but cry out his name as I came around him.

He followed a few seconds later, his body shaking as he came inside me.

We were both breathing heavily, and he slowly let me back down so that my feet were on the ground again, but he didn't move back, instead he pressed his lips to mine in a soft kiss that completely contradicted the rough - and amazing - sex we'd just had.

After a few minutes we'd caught our breath and he chuckled, looking down at the ground where our clothes were strewn.

I went to pick up my dress, but he picked _me_ up instead.

I giggled and wrapped my arms around his neck, "What are you doing?"

"Carrying my girlfr -" he broke off abruptly, and we both realized what he was about to say.

I was shocked, to say the least, because holy shit Malfoy was about to call me his girlfriend, but I was also...I don't know... _happy_.

I mean he cared about me enough to slip up and almost call me his girlfriend.

"Carrying your girlfriend where?"

He frowned for a moment, before looking down at me. He took a deep breath and chuckled, "I guess I'm carrying her to my bed."

Of course I knew that the term really didn't mean _that_ much, considering no one would know, but I had a feeling it meant that he wasn't interested in anyone else.

And that was good enough for me.

**~OoOoOoOoOoO~**

I had just woken up from a particularly bad nightmare, and couldn't fall back asleep due to the storm that was raging outside, rattling the window panes. I sat up in Malfoy's bed and attempted to get up without waking him. But before I could set both feet on the ground, his arm shot out and grabbed my wrist.

"Where are you going?" he asked, his voice still groggy with sleep.

"I just had a bad dream. Go back to sleep."

At the mention of bad dreams his eyes opened and he pulled me down so my head rested on his chest and his fingers were leisurely combing through my hair.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"It's nothing you'd want to listen to. Just me being stupid."

"Don't say that." he said, his hand in my hair stilling, "Don't ever say that."

I sighed and closed my eyes, listening to his steady heartbeat.

"How about you tell me a story?" I asked instead.

I could feel his breath hitch for a moment before he replied, "Why?"

"Because it'll make me feel better."

"This is some stupid muggle thing isn't it?" he asked with a sigh, his hand picking up where it had left off in my hair.

"Just forget it." I said, feeling stupid that I'd think he'd ever do something like that for me. He was Draco bloody Malfoy for Merlin's sake.

"No, wait." he said, catching me off guard. "I'll do it. Just give me a second."

I leaned up on one elbow so that I could look at him and asked, "Are you serious?"

"Just lay back down and shut up Granger." he said with a smile that was so much softer than the smirk he usually wore.

He paused for a few moments before he began. "Once upon a time there was a beautiful bookworm..."

And suddenly, it wasn't so hard to forget the nightmare.


	19. Chapter 19

**HPOV**

I woke up to a soft light streaming in through the window, and it took me a second to realize I wasn't in my room.

I felt Malfoy's warm body pressed against mine, his arms around my waist and his breath fanning against the back of my neck.

I stifled the smile that threatened to overtake my face, because really, we'd been doing this quite often over the past month. Ever since the night he'd slipped up and called me his girlfriend, things had been surprisingly good.

The best part, Pansy had left him - and me - alone. Not so much as a scowl in the halls, and it was wonderful.

Of course we still basically ignored one another outside our common room - which bothered me more than it should, I know - but when we were alone, or he got the opportunity to wink at me from across a class, he would.

He'd also taken to the rather interesting habit of randomly showing up in my bed, like when I had late night patrols. It had started two weeks ago when I'd come in really late, and found him comfortably asleep in my bed. I had been surprised, but we hadn't mentioned it the next morning, so it just continued. Sometimes he would sleep with me, and other times I would sleep with him.

I was still a little worried about the end of the school year, because it was looming rather near...three months to be exact, but I tried not to think about it.

Honestly there wasn't really anything to do about it. We would go our separate ways. We had to.

Right?

I shook my head, trying to shake the thoughts, which woke Malfoy up.

"You alright?" he asked, his voice thick with sleep.

I smiled and said, "Yeah, I'm fine."

"No nightmares?"

I shook my head, last night had been good. I hadn't had a nightmare in at least three days - which was quite the accomplishment.

"Nope, none."

He kissed my neck lightly, before leaving a hicky right behind my ear.

I chuckled and said, "What if someone sees that?"

"Leave your hair down."

I rolled my eyes and turned so I could look at him, "What if I forget?"

He smirked and captured my lips in a teasing kiss, "Don't."

I sighed and sat up, grabbing one of his shirts from the ground and pulling it on. I turned and looked at Malfoy, and he had a small smirk on his face.

I raised and eyebrow and asked, "What?"

"It's just interesting to see you in my shirt."

I shook my head and tried to keep the smile off my face when I replied, "It's just a shirt."

I got up and stretched my arms above my head, but before I could put my arms back down at my sides I was pinned under Malfoy.

"You did that on purpose." he said with a smirk.

"Did _what_ on purpose?"

"Did you really think I could just let you walk out of here after seeing your perfect arse like that Granger? That shirt may be big on you, but it's not _that_ big."

I blushed at his words and shook my head, "That really was an accident."

He shrugged and leaned down, capturing my lips in a heated kiss.

That was indeed a very good accident.

**~OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO~**

"What do you mean?"

Ginny rolled her eyes and flipped over onto her stomach, shooting Luna a look.

"Tell me you know what I'm talking about?"

Luna shook her head, "Sorry Gin, I'm just as lost as Hermione."

Ginny rolled her eyes, "Okay, fine. We all know that at the end of this year everything's going to change. We're going off to work, become stay at home mom's, travel - whatever - so we need a last hoorah." _  
_

"So you said, but what does that mean?" I asked, looking up at her from my spot on the floor.

We had all gathered in Ginny's room to talk and spend some quality time without the boys.

"It means," she said, shooting me her famous 'I-can't-believe-you-don't-know-what-I'm-talking-a bout' look. "That we need to do something epic, as a group and on our own, to commemorate this last year before adulthood."

"What do you mean as a group _and_ on our own?" asked Luna.

"Like we, as a group, will throw a party and invite everyone - that could be the group one - and then separately we'll have to do something crazy like skinny dipping, or leaving Hogwarts after curfew - something reckless and fun."

Luna and I shared a look, and I raised an eyebrow at Ginny, "Have you completely lost your mind?"

"No! Think about it. Don't you want to have something awesome to tell your kids one day?"

"About the stupid activities that went on? So the aforementioned child can follow in my footsteps? I don't think so." I said, shaking my head.

Luna seemed to agree with me, "It just doesn't seem necessary."

"Guys, after everything we've gone through, I think we deserve a little fun. What harm could a party cause?"

"A lot." said Luna and I in unison.

"Oh please, nothing would happen. So get your big girl panties on and lets plan."

I sighed and then nodded, "Maybe it'll be fun."

"And you still have to do something on your own." she said to both of us, her face serious.

"Do we have to tell you what it was?" asked Luna.

"No, but just that you did it." she resolved.

We both nodded - though somehow I knew this would end in a mess.

I didn't know what 'crazy' thing I was going to do here - I mean skinny dipping sounded enticing, but only if you had someone to go with...

Now that just gave me an idea.

* * *

**DPOV**

My parents had arranged for a meeting with me, and even though it was definitely the last thing I wanted to be doing, I trudged out of bed and down to McGonagall's office.

"Hello Draco, darling." greeted my mother, kissing my cheek and giving me a light hug.

My father simply nodded, acknowledging my presence, before he sat down. I thought it was strange that McGonagall wasn't in her office, but I pushed the thought aside.

It really didn't matter.

"As you're aware, we've got the marriage contract to think about in a few months, pending your graduation." said my father, motioning for me to take a seat.

I did so and nodded, "Yeah, I know."

This definitely wasn't something I wanted to be talking about, because the one witch I wanted to be with was the one witch my parents would never approve of.

And I don't know why, but I needed their approval. I wanted it desperately, and had been trying to gain it my whole fucking life.

"Well you'll be happy to know that we've picked the lucky young witch that will be with you for at least the next five years. She comes from a very respectable family, she's intelligent, kind, and pure-blooded."

He didn't need to say the last part, honestly, because it would have been implied. I knew my father well enough.

"Who is it?" I asked, uninterested.

"Astoria Greengrass."

My eyes widened and I looked at my mother, who seemed pleased with the decision.

"Seriously?"

My father raised an eyebrow, "Is that a problem?"

I shook my head quickly, "No, of course not."

He smiled, "Perfect. I didn't think it would be. By next month I expect you to have the ring for her."

"Next month?"

"Of course. You'll start dating right away." said my mother. "You'll need to get acquainted rather quickly I'm afraid. Your father just had to wait until the last minute to decide."

He rolled his eyes and said, "He's a Malfoy, he'll figure it out."

He stood and stepped through the fireplace, our goodbye as simple as a nod in my direction, but my mother lingered a moment.

"Are you alright dear?"

I nodded, "Yeah, I'm fine."

"Is this about the girl you were in Hogsmeade with?" she asked softly.

My eyes near bulged out of my head, but I managed to keep my voice steady, "You saw me there?"

She nodded, "I didn't see who the girl was, though I'm assuming that's why you're not terribly excited about Astoria being chosen for you."

I shrugged, "It's complicated."

"Well what's her name? If you truly like her I'm sure I could convince your father to change his mind about -"

I shook my head, "No...no that won't be necessary."

The thought was almost laughable. My parents arranging a marriage between Granger and I.

"If you're sure..." she said, standing and walking over to the floo.

I nodded, "Yeah, I'm sure."

"Alright then," she said, "Be sure to go and get to know Astoria then, yes?"

"Does she know?"

My mother nodded, "Of course. We contacted her before we came here."

Typical. They always did handle everything.

"I'll see you soon then."

She nodded and disappeared in a puff of green smoke, leaving me with a rather tangled knot in my stomach.

How the fuck was I going to explain this to Granger? Because there was no way she would take this in a good way.

Truth be told, initially I had wanted to end things with her at the end of the year, but the more time we spent together, the less that seemed like a good idea. I wanted to keep seeing her even after we got out of school, which was a complete arsehole thing of me to want, because I _would_ be married.

I ran a hand through my hair and took a deep breath. I needed to find Astoria and see how she felt about this - though I was pretty sure she wouldn't have a problem.

I exited McGonagall's office, and ran smack into Granger, knocking her onto her arse in the middle of the deserted hallway.

She opened her mouth, no doubt to curse, when she noticed it was me.

"Oh,"

"I'm sorry." I said, taking her hand and helping her up.

She dusted off her skirt and shrugged, "No big deal. What did McGonagall want?"

I was about to tell her that it hadn't been the Headmistress, but my parents, when I changed my mind. If I told her what they'd wanted she'd end things with me immediately, and as loath as I was to admit it, I wasn't ready to lose her.

"Just something about pestering First Years." I said dismissively.

She glared at me, "I told you to quit doing that."

I smirked, "Don't be mad."

I pulled her closer to me, trailing a few heated kisses up her neck, smirking when I heard her breath catch when my teeth grazed the sensitive spot by her ear.

"Malfoy, what if someone sees?"

"There's no one here yet, Granger. They're all in the Great Hall." Suddenly I pulled away from her and asked, "Why aren't you there?"

"Oh, I was with Ginny and Luna. We skipped lunch, so I was just heading up to the common room to get my books for class." she said, leaning back against the wall.

Her crazy mane of hair was pulled up into a high pony tail, and she was biting her lip - which she usually did when she was over-thinking something.

"What's on your mind, Princess?" I asked, leaning one hand against the wall by her head.

"Oh, nothing." she said, a blush rising to her cheeks.

"Liar, tell me."

She sighed, "It's just Ginny...she seems to think we need to do something crazy to commemorate the time we spent here, and she gave me the idea of...of skinny dipping, and I would do it, but I don't want to do it by myself, and I totally understand if you don't want to because it's a pretty stupid idea and -"

She was rambling, so I just took her face in my hands and shut her up with a kiss.

"Yes, Granger, I will go skinny dipping with you."

The fact that she'd brought it up was surprising, considering how shy she seemed to be - _sometimes_ \- but I definitely wasn't about to say no to that offer.

"Really?" she asked, her eyes wide with surprise.

I nodded, "But it's too cold to do it now so -"

"Well duh, but I've got until June." she said with a chuckle.

"It should be warm enough by the end of next month."

"April always was one of my favorite months." she said with a smile.

I chuckled and kissed her just as the bell rang.

I sighed, and pulled away reluctantly, "I'll see you in Potions."

She nodded and scurried off down the hallway, and I was about to head to my own class when I heard a soft voice call my name.

I turned and saw Astoria, a slight pink tint to her cheeks, walking over to me.

"Hey," I said slowly. I hadn't counted on the situation to be quite as awkward as it was, but I tried to ignore it.

"This is...interesting." she said slowly, falling into step beside me.

"How do you feel about it?"

She smiled, "I think it'll be a lovely thing - though we really don't know one another at all."

I nodded, "Yes, my parents told me to take the month to get to know you."

"Mine said the same."

"Well," I said, glancing at my watch, "Why don't you join me for dinner and we can talk there?"

"Are you sure your friends won't mind?"

I snorted, "I doubt they'll even notice."

She nodded and said she'd see me then, which left me to realize I'd have to explain why the hell I was all of a sudden spending so much time with Astoria to Granger.

Though really she'd find out about the engagement before the evening was up, and if not she'd hear about it tomorrow, so I didn't really have much of a choice.

I just needed to figure out how exactly I was going to word it...

* * *

**HPOV**

"Why's Astoria sitting with Malfoy and his little followers?" asked Ron, nodding over to the Slytherin table, where Astoria and Malfoy were sitting next to one another, seemingly in a rather private conversation.

I pretended to act unaffected and shrugged, "How should I know, and why do you care?"

Harry chuckled and Ron rolled his eyes, "Bugger off."

I couldn't help but let my eyes wander back over to Malfoy, and this time his eyes had already been on me.

I quickly turned away from him, focusing on the conversation my friends were having.

"It's just weird is all." muttered Ron, still talking about Astoria.

I was about to tell him to leave it alone, when Neville spoke up, "You guys haven't heard?"

Ginny shook her head, "Heard what?"

"That Malfoy and Astoria are apparently getting married at the end of the school year."

I'm sure if this had been a cartoon, my eyes would have popped out of my head and steam would have been coming out of my ears, but instead I just said, "I didn't think they really knew each other."

"They don't." said Neville, stealing a glance at the table, "But the Malfoy's and Greengrass's still honor the whole arranged marriage thing or the marriage contract, you know? So they don't really have a choice."

"Of course they have a choice." scoffed Ginny, "They could say no."

Neville shrugged, "I guess it's different for them."

He turned back to his friends, and left the five of us wondering if we cared enough to continue discussing it.

"Well whatever the ferret does is his business." said Ron resolutely, ending the discussion for everybody - for which I was thankful.

I had never wanted to throw up more in my life, and it was completely uncalled for, because Malfoy wasn't mine to claim. I had no right to be mad over anything _except_ the fact that he'd lied when he said he'd been talking to McGonagall. It had obviously been his parents.

"I'm not feeling to well." I lied, "I'm just going to go upstairs and lie down."

"You want me to walk you?" asked Luna.

I shook my head, "Thanks, but I'll be okay. I'll see you guys in the morning."

I picked up my bag and quickly hurried out of the Great Hall, ignoring Malfoy all together.

When I got to the common room I slammed the portrait behind me and walked into the kitchen to make myself a cup of tea. I needed to calm my nerves.

I had intended to be upstairs before Malfoy came in, but he must have left the Great Hall shortly after I did, because the portrait was being pushed open before the bell signaling the end of dinner had rung.

"I take it you heard." he said, standing in the doorway of the kitchen.

He was smart not to come any closer, because I was sure I would have thrown something at him had he so much as lifted a finger to touch me.

"Yes, a few minutes ago. Neville told me. Sweet of him."

He sighed and said, "Can you please look at me?"

I took a deep breath and turned around to face him, by back against the counter.

"Can we talk?"

"I don't think I have anything to say to you."

"Then just listen, please. Let me try to explain." he said, taking a step forward into the kitchen.

I held up a hand, stopping him, but said, "Fine, explain away."

He ran a hand through his hair and said, "Yes, Astoria and I are going to be getting married when I graduate. It's how my family does things, with the marriage contract, but we're not engaged, we're not dating, we're just getting to know one another."

I shrugged, "Why are you telling me this?"

"Because that means that you don't have to be so mad at me. It means that we can still be...us for a little while longer."

I shook my head, "This is completely insane. Who does this? You're going to be getting _married,_ Malfoy."

"But not yet." he argued, "We're not seeing each other, she can still do what she wants and I can still do what I want. We talked about it today at dinner. That's why we sat together."

I took a deep breath. He did have a point. If they weren't seeing each other yet, I could still continue to do what I was doing, right? Plus this would keep people from getting suspicious about the two of us.

"You swear that you're not seeing her yet?"

He nodded, a relieved smile crossing his features, "I swear, Granger."

I sighed, knowing this was a horrible idea, and said, "Okay, then I guess for now nothing has to change."

He smiled and took a few tentative steps forward, and when I didn't stop him he crossed the remaining space quickly, pulling me to him in a tight hug.

"I don't think I'm ready to lose you." he whispered into my hair.

His words made my heart stop. Draco _bloody_ Malfoy wasn't ready to lose me. _Me_! _  
_

The thought was almost so insane I had to pinch myself to make sure I'd heard him correctly.

"Do you still think this is a good idea?" I asked quietly, my face buried in his neck.

I felt him take a deep breath before he spoke, "No, because I care about you a hell of a lot more than I should, Granger. But that doesn't change what I said. I'm _not_ ready to lose you."

I closed my eyes and hugged him tighter. "I'm not ready for that either."

So I guess it's true what they say, you learn something new everyday.


	20. Chapter 20

**HPOV**

I was late.

Two weeks late, to be exact, and I was a _little_ worried.

I could not be two weeks late, because that could mean bad - very bad - things.

Holy shit I was two weeks late.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. It probably didn't mean anything. I was just really stressed out, what with NEWTS coming up, and the whole Malfoy getting married thing...it wasn't exactly the best environment to be stress free in.

Yeah, I thought, taking a deep breath, it's just stress.

I felt sightly relieved, and pushed the covers from my legs. It was April 28th, and the end of the school year was looming blessedly close.

Although that also brought up the problem of Draco getting married but -

Whoa...I just thought of him as Draco, not Malfoy.

I shook my head, I was losing it.

I got up and walked downstairs, but _Malfoy_ \- not Draco - wasn't there. He'd probably gone out earlier. I was up rather late.

I walked into the kitchen and made myself a cup of tea, trying to calm the random butterflies that seemed to have taken up residence there at the thought of Malfoy's first name coming to mind.

I took a deep breath and sat down on the couch, pulling out my books to study for my NEWT exams, because I was determined to get O's in everything.

I _needed_ to get O's in everything. I was Hermione Granger for pete's sake.

I was hard at work studying when I heard the portrait open. I glanced up and saw Malfoy's blonde hair, so I returned to studying without a word.

A few minutes later he came and sat down next to me, but didn't say anything.

I looked over at him and noticed he looked... _off_.

"Are you okay?"

He looked over at me and smiled, "Yeah, I'm good. How's studying going?"

I groaned, "Hell."

He chuckled and took my hand, pulling me to him, "Take a break."

"I just started."

"All the more reason to take a break." he said with a smirk.

I rolled my eyes, "Only with your logic."

He shrugged, "I seem to remember you asking me to do a certain something with you a month ago."

I raised an eyebrow, "What are you talking about?"

"Skinny dipping, Granger."

My eyes widened, I had totally forgotten about that.

"What about it?" I asked slowly.

"Tonight. Down at the lake."

I bit my lip. Was this a good idea? I mean anyone could see us...

But it had been my idea, and Ginny had made us promise.

"Okay,"

He smirked and pressed a soft kiss to my lips.

"Are you excited?"

"For what?"

"The end of the school year." I said, rolling my eyes.

A look that I couldn't decipher crossed his features, and he said, "I don't know."

"I realized I never asked you this, and you don't have to tell me if you don't want to, but do you _want_ to marry Astoria?"

He looked out the window, taking a deep breath, and said, "No...no I don't."

I was surprised - _really_ surprised, and I guess it showed on my face, because he rolled his eyes.

"Did you seriously think I want to marry her?"

"Well...yes."

"Why?"

"I mean she's beautiful, smart, your parents love her -"

"Hermione," he said sharply, halting my rant instantly.

He'd called me _Hermione._

"Are you completely daft?"

I opened my mouth to argue the fact that no, I was not daft, but Malfoy shot me a look and I quickly clamped my mouth shut.

"Why the _fuck_ would you think I wanted to marry Astoria?" he asked, staring at me with his icy gray eyes.

I raised an eyebrow at him - because what kind of stupid question was that?

"Because you're marrying her?"

He snorted and stood up, running a hand through his hair, and paced back and forth.

"I don't know what the hell I have to say to you to make you get this through that thick head of yours Granger." he said, clearly exasperated with me - but _why_ is what eluded me.

"Get _what_?"

"Fucking christ, Granger." he said, still pacing back in forth in front of the window.

"Can you sit down? You're driving me crazy." I said.

" _I'm_ driving _you_ crazy? _You're_ driving _me_ crazy!"

"What the hell is wrong with you today?" I asked standing up and putting a hand on my hip.

He wasn't making any sense, and I couldn't figure out why he was acting so...so _unlike_ himself. I mean I'd never known Malfoy to seem... _weird_ about something.

He let out a frustrated groan and looked about ready to yank his hair out, and I couldn't take it anymore.

I walked over to him took his hand - the one that was about to make quick work of those lovely blonde locks - and said, "Either tell me what's on your mind, or sit down and have some tea. Either way, you need to relax."

He rolled his eyes, "Granger, you don't get it."

"Of course I don't." I said, taking a step back, "Because you won't tell me."

He bit his lip and for a second I forgot everything - because holy shit that was one of the sexiest things I'd ever seen.

"How can you not know?" he muttered, running his hand through his hair again.

"Malfoy, if you don't tell me in the next two seconds I'm going to flip out! You're being fucking ridicu -"

"I fucking love you, Granger."

Holy shit. That did not just happen. Draco Malfoy did not just -

 _Oh my god he did_.

He had just told me he loved me and I had no idea what to say.

" _What_?"

Well that was definitely not the right response.

He leaned against the wall by the window and closed his eyes, tilting his head up towards the ceiling, before letting out a deep breath and saying, "Trust me, I tried not to. I _really_ fucking tried not to."

"But?" I prompted.

He opened his eyes, but didn't look at me, and said, "But I guess I figured that I didn't want to have to try not to anymore."

My heart was hammering out of my chest, and I literally couldn't believe that he was telling me this, because it was so...so...

Merlin it was stupid. Incredibly stupid, because really this was insane.

"Malfoy, you're getting _married_."

"Is that supposed to change something?" he asked, finally looking at me.

"It changes everything." I said, shaking my head. "You're getting married, you're going to start a _life_ with Astoria, and now you're telling me that you love me. Do you know how unfair that is?"

"For fucks sake Granger, I _know_ that it's not fair, but do you think _I_ like this?" he asked, glaring at me.

Leave it to Malfoy to confess his feelings for me, and then act like a complete git five seconds later - not that I was helping any.

I took a deep breath and realized something - Malfoy had just told me he loved me, and we were arguing.

Setting aside my common sense, because I knew this wasn't the best idea I'd ever had, I walked over to where he was standing, grabbed his tie, and yanked his lips down to mine.

Because really, school was almost over, and I wanted something to remember it by.

* * *

**DPOV**

I was caught off guard for a second, because I definitely hadn't expected her to kiss me, but I didn't waste too much time before wrapping my arms around her waist and pulling her closer to me.

Honestly I hadn't intended to tell Granger that - ever. But for some fucking reason the stupid bint always seemed to have a way of making me act completely fucking irrational.

I loved Granger.

I fucking loved Granger, and that was probably the worst thing that could've happened, because I had obligations to uphold.

But fuck it all, that didn't change how I felt.

Of course I knew it wasn't fair to her, telling her that, because even though _I_ didn't think it'd be a big deal to keep seeing her, I was pretty sure _she'd_ think it was a big deal.

Though I was sure I could convince her, at least for a while longer, to keep seeing me, but the more time I spent with her the more I realized that I wanted more than that - which was stupid because it wasn't going to fucking happen.

I shoved all those thoughts from my mind and focused on Granger, because holy fuck whatever she was doing with her tongue was definitely a turn on.

"Granger,"

"Shut up," she mumbled against my lips, tugging at my tie, and then unbuttoning my shirt.

I groaned when her nails scraped across my chest, and I moved my hands from her hips to her shirt, pulling it over her head.

I heard her breath catch as I moved my lips down her neck and to her breasts.

Her hands slid into my hair and tightened when I moved her bra down and took a rosy nipple into my mouth.

She moaned softly and the sound went straight to my cock. I pulled away from her breasts, sliding a hand into her hair and brought my lips down to hers in a bruising kiss.

"Malfoy," she said, tugging at the waistband of my pants.

She was definitely being more demanding than usual, and it was a real turn on.

I pulled my wand from my back pocket and apparated us into my bedroom.

As soon as we got there she pushed me back onto the bed, a sexy smirk on her face.

I raised an eyebrow and asked, "What are you doing?"

"Taking charge." she said simply.

I smirked and watched as she flicked her wrist and music started playing. I had no idea what the song was - but with how she was swaying her hips to it, I really didn't give a damn.

She slid her hands over her bra, down her sides and over her hips, before turning around and letting her bra drop to the ground.

I could feel myself getting turned on by the sway of her hips and just the fact that she was doing this - fuck it was hot.

She slowly walked over to me, her hands sliding over her body as she did so. When she got close enough I sat up to pull her over to me, but she smirked and stepped back, shaking her head.

"Uh-uh, not so fast."

I groaned, but leaned back, watching as she turned around again, this time sliding her pants and underwear down her legs, her fucking amazing arse in the air as she did so.

She walked over to me and undid my belt, unbuttoning my pants and sliding them down. She trailed a hand over my throbbing cock, and I bit my lip, trying to figure out why the fuck an in control Granger was such a turn on.

She looked up at me and smiled, sliding my boxers down my legs before taking me into her hand.

"Fuck," I groaned, fighting the urge to grab her hair when she took me into her mouth.

I grabbed her arm and yanked her up, crushing her mouth against mine.

She moved so that she was straddling my waist, and I moved my hands to her waist.

"Granger," I groaned as she starting grinding her wet pussy against my erection, "Stop teasing me."

She chuckled and pressed a light kiss to my lips before shifting, and all of a sudden I was inside her - and holy fuck I never wanted to be anywhere else.

She was fucking perfect, moving up and down on top of me, her curly hair a wild halo around her face, her skin flushed, her lips kiss swollen - she looked _erotic._

Her hands were clutching the sheets next to my head, moans escaping her lips every few seconds, so I moved one of my hands to the back of her neck, pulling her down to capture her lips in a kiss.

A few seconds later I felt her walls flutter around me, and her hands tightened in the sheets as she came.

Her breathing was fast and she slumped against my chest, and I smirked, "Burnt out already?"

She chuckled, and moved up, but I grabbed her waist and flipped her over so that I was on top between her legs.

I slid inside her before she could say anything, and she gasped, her nails digging into my shoulders while I started a steady pace.

She was moaning loudly, and I could barely fucking think straight because she felt so amazing underneath me.

Her nails scratched down my back and I groaned, "Fucking hell Granger."

"Sorry," she panted, her voice catching on the word.

I chuckled, "Don't be."

She groaned and I moved a hand between our bodies, flicking my thumb over her clit.

"Come with me Granger."

"Malfoy," she said biting her lip and looking up at me.

I felt her body start to tense and I pumped faster, and a few seconds later she came, and I wasn't far behind her.

I rolled off her and chuckled, "You should do that more often."

"Do what?" she asked, her breathing heavy.

"Take charge. It's bloody hot to see you on top of me like that Granger." I said with a smirk.

She blushed and sat up, running a hand through her hair, and said, "Can I ask you something?"

I nodded and watched as she fidgeted with her hands.

"Granger," I said, taking her hand and pulling her towards me, "What did you want to ask me?"

She took a deep breath, her head resting on my shoulder, and asked, "Why did you tell me...what you did?"

I groaned, "We don't need to talk about this."

"Are you kidding me? You drop that kind of bomb on me and you expect it to just go away?"

"You're the one who decided we were going to have sex instead of talk."

She sat up and glared at me, "You told me you _loved me._ That definitely warrants a conversation."

"Does it? Why?"

She snorted and yanked my shirt over her head, "Typical Malfoy."

She slipped out of my room, slamming the door behind her, and I groaned.

Why the fuck could I not get this right? It shouldn't be this hard.

With Astoria everything was simple, planned, well thought out, and prepared. With Granger it was like everything went to hell in less than five seconds and I had no idea what to do about it.

I pulled on a pair of pants and pushed open my door. I leaned over the railing, but she wasn't sitting on the couch, so I walked over to her door and knocked.

"Go away."

I rolled my eyes, "Granger, come on."

" _Go away_."

"No."

"Fine, then stand there and stare at the door." she snapped.

I waved my hand and the door sprung open, revealing Granger sitting at her vanity yanking a brush through her hair. She had changed out of my shirt and into a pair of shorts and a sweatshirt, but somehow she still managed to look amazing - even though she probably didn't want anything to do with me right now.

"Get out." she said, not looking over at me.

"You wanted to talk Granger, so let's talk."

"Malfoy," she snapped, standing up and turning around to face me, "I wanted you to be honest -"

"Honest? How much more honest would you like me to fucking get?" I asked, walking towards her.

"Are you kidding me? Yeah, you told me that, but _why_? Do _you_ even know why? Because honestly I think it's not possible for you to know what love is Malfoy." she said, sitting back down at her vanity and picking up her brush.

Maybe a year or two ago I would've believed her, that I didn't know what it meant, but things were different - _I_ was different.

That's when it hit me.

This wasn't really about me, it was about her.

"What are you scared of?"

"I'm not scared of anything." she said, glaring at my reflection in the mirror.

"I don't blame you." I said, running a hand through my hair, because really, how could I?

"Don't blame me for what?"

"For not trusting me."

She snorted, "How could you blame me? This entire situation has gotten entirely too out of control."

"Because I care?"

"Because you're getting married." she said, dropping her head onto her hands, "You're getting married, and this is the stupidest thing I've ever done in my entire life."

"You're getting married one day too Granger. The point is that right now we're both single."

"The _point,_ you arse, is that you know the person you're marrying. You've seen her, talked to her, spent time with -"

"I haven't -"

"Don't lie to me Malfoy, I'm not daft." she said, standing up and sitting on her bed, "But I'm also not mad. I get that you have to get to know her, and honestly it makes sense for you to be dating her...I just -"

"Okay," I said, moving so I stood in front of her, "I have hung out with her, because I do need to get to know her, but we're not dating."

"Yet."

"What the fuck do you want me to tell you Granger? You knew -"

"Just because I know doesn't make it easier!" she said, her voice breaking on the last word.

"Granger -"

"Please go." she said, standing up and turning away from me, but I wasn't having it.

"I'm not going anywhere."

"Malfoy -"

"No," I said, tangling a hand into her hair and forcing her to look at me, "I'm not going anywhere."

She closed her eyes and said, "Why are you doing this?"

"I have no fucking idea."

All of a sudden she chuckled, and I raised an eyebrow at her.

"I'm sorry, it's just that this is insane. We've had the same argument twice in the past three hours, and we resolved absolutely nothing."

I chuckled and shrugged, "I guess we're just bad at talking."

She nodded, "Yeah...I guess we are."

She wrapped her arms around my waist and hugged me, her head resting against my chest, and I wrapped mine around her.

I knew that it was only going to get worse, especially the closer we got to graduation, but at this point I was in too deep to back out now.

I had a plan to ask Granger to stay with me while Astoria and I handled the marriage contract, and I knew that she wouldn't take it too well at first, but after some convincing I was sure I could get her to see my point.

There was no reason for her to say no to my idea. Astoria and I weren't in love, and we'd never be in love, so why should everyone have to be unhappy? It wasn't like I'd stop Astoria from seeing someone if she wanted to.

"How about I make us some tea?" she asked.

I smirked, "I was thinking we could take a shower."

She laughed, and the sound made me smile, "Well maybe that wouldn't be such a bad idea."

And it definitely wasn't.


	21. Chapter 21

**DPOV**

"Are you listening to us, Malfoy?"

I definitely hadn't been, but I had good reason.

I had the perfect plan to guarantee that Granger would stay with me. I mean literally there was no way it could go wrong.

I hoped.

"Malfoy," snapped Blaise, waving his hand in front of my face.

"What?" I asked, shoving his hand away from me.

Blaise, Theo, and I were walking into the Great Hall for dinner, and they were bugging the shit out of me - and I didn't even know what they were talking about.

"Told you he wasn't listening." said Theo, chuckling.

"He's probably fantasizing about Astoria." said Blaise, rolling his eyes.

Fantasizing, yes, over Astoria, no.

"Are you going to tell me what you were talking about, or not?" I asked, glancing over at Granger's table.

She was in what looked like a spirited discussion with the Weasel, because she was moving her hands around and seemed to be trying to get her point - whatever that was - across to him.

"...when you and Astoria are going to get married?"

I ran a hand through my hair and sat down at our table, "I think my father was talking about doing it as soon as possible."

The thought alone made me sick - not that I'd admit it to anyone. Well anyone but Granger.

"Must be hell for you, the infinite bachelor, to have to give it all up." said Blaise, but Theo snorted.

"Please, Astoria's a babe. Malfoy's a lucky bastard."

I just shook my head and changed the subject, "What are you guys writing your potion's paper about?"

Theo laughed, "Right, like I'm actually going to write that paper."

"How you're still passing Potions, I have no idea." I said, shaking my head. "It's like you've never turned in anything."

Theo shrugged, "Teachers like me."

"No one could like you that much." said Blaise, rolling his eyes. "Anyway, I'm writing my paper on the Babbling Beverage potion."

"Really?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"What? Do you have a better idea?"

"Not really," I admitted. I had no idea what I was writing my paper over, so when I got upstairs I was going to have to come up with something, since the assignment was due tomorrow.

"Well we can't all have my good fortune." said Theo, chuckling.

"Oh shut up." said Blaise, tossing a grape at Theo's face.

Before they could get any more out of control Astoria appeared out of fucking _nowhere_ and sat down next to me.

"Hey,"

"Hey," said Blaise and Theo, sharing a glance between one another. I wanted to disappear, but that wasn't happening, so I turned to look at her.

"Hello Astoria."

She smiled and blushed, "How are you? I feel like we haven't spoken in a while."

For some reason this irritated me beyond any rational level, but I kept my voice even as I said, "We spoke yesterday."

She giggled - which I was sure was meant to be attractive - but I couldn't help but compare it to Granger's. And of course it was nowhere near as nice to hear.

Not that that was a big surprise.

"Well of course we did, but I meant really talked. We still have so much to discuss."

Which was true, I just didn't want to.

I couldn't say that, though. So instead I said, "Of course, but I'm sure our parents have thought of everything."

She nodded, a faraway look on her face, "Yes, my mother told me that they picked a date. The first of August. Isn't it lovely?"

I nodded, trying to look enthusiastic.

She looked between the three of us and then giggled again, "Well I'll let you boys get back to your dinner, I just wanted to say hi. But Draco, we should hang out some time. I feel like there's still so much I don't know about you."

I forced a smile on my face and nodded, "Of course. This weekend?"

She stood and nodded, "That'd be lovely. I'll see you then. It was nice to see you two." she said, giving a small wave to Theo and Blaise.

She pressed a light kiss to my cheek, and was gone before I could register what had happened.

"I see you're going to have a nice weekend." said Theo, a smirk on his face.

Before I could tell him that no way in hell was I doing anything like _that_ with Astoria, he was getting up and heading out of the Great Hall.

I ran a hand through my hair, using all my self-control not to yank it out, when Blaise spoke up.

"You don't look happy mate."

"I'm never happy." I said, trying to brush it off.

"That's not true." he said, shaking his head, "You've been happy for the past few months - why, I have no idea - but you have been. So you better figure out what the fuck you're doing, because if you _do_ decide to marry Astoria, you're not going to be happy. Not like you were with your mystery girl."

"There is no mystery girl." I said, standing up.

He shook his head and chuckled, "There is, and maybe one day you'll tell me about her. You know, when you and Astoria have three kids running around and you're wondering what the fuck you did wrong."

I opened my mouth to tell him where he could shove his opinions, but I decided against it. I didn't need to draw attention to myself - and he was right.

So instead I just left the Great Hall, heading up to the common room to get started on that potion's paper.

I'd been staring at a blank page for at least fifteen minutes before the portrait swung open and Granger walked inside.

"Hey," she said, dropping her bag on the couch and heading straight into the kitchen.

"Hey," I replied cautiously. I didn't know if she'd seen Astoria kiss me, and if she did I had no idea how she felt about it.

"How was your day?" she asked from the kitchen.

"Um...it was too long." I said, standing up and walking towards the kitchen, leaning against the door frame.

"Well at least it's over now." she said, fixing herself a cup of tea.

She looked over at me and smiled, "Do you want a cup?"

I shook my head, "No, but thanks."

She nodded and walked past me, sitting down in front of the coffee table and pulled out her homework - which reminded me that I still didn't have a Potion's topic.

I sat down next to her and she chuckled, "What are you working on?"

"I'm supposed to be working on my Potion's paper."

"Supposed to be?"

"I can't come up with a topic."

She chuckled, "Just pick a potion you think is interesting. It's not that hard Malfoy."

"What are you writing about?"

"You mean what _did_ I write about." she corrected, pulling out a piece of parchment and handing it to me. "I wrote about Alihotsy Draught."

"The potion that makes you hysterical?" I asked, scanning the paper. It was good.

Though that wasn't a surprise.

"The very one." she said, taking the paper when I handed it to her.

I groaned and said, "I'm not going to come up with a topic."

"You had a week to write this, why are you _just now_ starting it? You're just like Ron and Harry."

I scowled, "I'd rather you not compare me to your friends."

She rolled her eyes, "If you act like them, I'll compare you to them. Deal with it. As far as your paper goes, why don't you write about the Drink of Despair?"

I opened my mouth to object, but that wasn't a bad idea.

She smirked, "I'm good right?"

I chuckled and slid my hand behind her neck, pulling her toward me and kissing her.

"You're very good." I said, my lips brushing against hers with every word.

She smiled and pushed me back, "Write your paper."

"But I'd much rather -"

"Malfoy, write your paper." she said again, pressing a quill into my hand and pushing me so I was sitting on the couch.

I sighed, but did what she asked, writing down the first few sentences.

Ten minutes later Granger went upstairs, and when she came back down she had her sketch pad in one hand and her iPod in the other.

She sat down on the couch that I wasn't on, and put her headphones in, her pencil lightly scratching across the paper.

A few minutes later she groaned and yanked her headphones out, "Will you let me draw you?"

I looked up at her and raised an eyebrow, "Excuse me?"

"Will you let me draw you?" she repeated, tapping her pencil against her leg.

I shook my head, "No way."

She rolled her eyes, "Oh come on, _please_ let me draw you? You'll be the most dashing thing in this book."

I chuckled, "Nice try Princess, but flattery isn't going to work. Now be quiet, I'm trying to write this paper."

She pouted and said, "Pretty please? I can't think of anything else to draw, and you're not moving anyway! It'd be perfect."

"If I let you do this will you let me finish my paper?" I asked, mock-glaring at her.

She broke out into a beautiful smile, and I knew no matter what she said, I was going to let her draw me if it made her that happy.

"Yes,"

I nodded, "Fine, draw away."

* * *

**HPOV**

I couldn't believe he'd actually agreed to letting me draw him, not that I'd left him with much of an option considering I would have pestered him until he let me - but still.

I sketched a rough outline of the couch, and then moved on to Malfoy himself. I had drawn his outline, not quite sure what facial expression I wanted to capture, when I looked up and noticed him smirking at me.

I decided that would be the face I captured. That signature Malfoy smirk that I knew all too well.

I had a rough sketch of what I wanted it to look like when he finished his paper.

"Looks like you're out of time Princess." he said, smirking at me as he stood up and stretched his arms above his head.

I chuckled and shut my sketch pad, setting it down next to me.

"I think I'll survive. Besides, I can always finish it later."

He smiled and walked over to me, moving one arm on either side of me on the back of the couch, "What do you want to do?"

I sighed. We were so close to the end of the school year now. Eight days to be exact, and I couldn't help but run over every possible scenario that could happen when we had to end things.

I already knew I wasn't going to be happy, but I didn't know what to expect afterwards. After Malfoy wasn't around me everyday, after I had a job, after I had my own place - after Hogwarts was just a memory.

"I want to talk." I said, pulling him down next to me.

"Talk about what?" he asked, his voice cautious.

"I don't know - anything." I said with a shrug.

He relaxed next to me and said, "Well pick a topic and we'll talk."

"Do you want kids one day?"

He wrapped his arm around me, pulling me closer, before he answered, "One day...yeah. One day I'd want kids."

"How many?"

He chuckled, "At least three."

I smiled, three seemed like a great number.

"What would you want to have?" he asked.

"At least one girl."

"It'd be a boy first." he said, and I felt him tense up immediately after the words left his mouth, and it took me a second to realize why.

He was implying that if _we_ had children the first one would be a boy.

Instead of calling him out on it, I just went with it.

"Well I think it'd be a girl." I said, sticking my tongue out at him.

He chuckled and said, "Well what would you name her?"

I shrugged, "No idea. What about you?"

"I don't know either, but I think I'd stay with the tradition of using astronomy names. It's kind of been a thing in my family for as long as I can remember."

I nodded slowly, "Family traditions are always nice."

If I did have a child it'd be twice as important for me to pass down traditions that my mom and dad used to do with me since she wouldn't get to meet them.

The thought made me sad, but as close as I was with Molly and Arthur I knew that my kid would have grandparents - at least in some way.

"When you get married, where would it be?"

"A beach, maybe?" I said, unsure. I hadn't exactly thought that far into my future. "Or maybe just a small service in a garden or something."

"Always the simpler things, huh Princess?" he asked, an amused smile on his face.

"Is something wrong with that?"

He shook his head, "Not at all."

"Where do you think you'll get married? Or did your parents plan that?" I asked, genuinely curious - for some masochistic reason.

"I don't know." he said, his tone uninterested, "I could care less."

I sighed, "If you don't want to marry her, why are you?"

"I have obligations to my family."

"What does that have to do with -"

"Granger, please. I really don't want to argue." he said softy.

Something about his voice made me agree to drop the topic.

We were quiet for a minute before he said, "Remember what I said about not wanting to argue? Keep that in mind."

I raised an eyebrow and shifted so I could look at him, and he took a deep breath before he started talking.

"I told Astoria that we'd get together this weekend. She said that she wants to talk to me."

I nodded, not at all surprised. I'd seen her kiss his cheek during dinner, so I'd pretty much known they'd be hanging out in the near future.

Yet and still it took quite a bit of self-restraint for me to not get mad and tell Malfoy where he could stick his dumbass ideas of hanging out with the both of us.

"Okay," I said simply, my voice controlled.

"That's it?"

"What would you like me to say?" I asked, my annoyance leaking into my words more than I had intended.

"I just thought you'd have something more to say." he said, his expression confused.

I sighed and ran a hand through my hair, "I could tell you that I'm happy for you and that I hope you have a great time - which would be a big fat lie. I could also tell you to go to hell and that you were an idiot for even telling me about it - which would be slightly more true than the first one. Or I could say that I'm not daft. I know that you've been hanging out with her, and I know that she kissed you at dinner. I saw it - and no I'm not mad."

"Is that a lie? That you're not mad?" he asked quietly.

I shrugged, "Mad...no I'm not mad...I'm...I don't know."

He sighed, "I'm sorry. I'll tell her that I can't -"

"Why the fuck would you do that?" I asked, standing up and grabbing my sketch pad. "You two are getting married in a matter of months. You don't blow off your future wife for your fuck buddy."

He stood up too and said, "You know it's more than that Granger."

I sighed, "Yeah, but that doesn't matter either. I'm not your wife, Malfoy. She is - or she will be anyway. So go and have fun with her this weekend, okay? I'm not mad."

"You're not mad, but you're not happy either." he said, following me as I walked up the stairs.

"No, I'm not." I said, pushing open the door to my room and tossing the sketch pad onto my dresser.

"So what do you want me to do?" he asked.

I shook my head, "There isn't anything _to_ do. Sleep with me?"

He sighed, clearly annoyed by my change of topic, but he didn't argue his point further.

"Yeah, of course I will." he said.

We climbed into my bed, his arms around my waist and my back pressed against his chest.

I couldn't help but think about how it would feel to go to sleep like this every night - but I couldn't indulge that thought for too long. It was definitely not a realistic thought, and it wouldn't do me any good to think about it all the time.

I didn't know how I was going to get over him getting married, but I was going to have to figure it out - and soon.

* * *

**HPOV**

"What are you going to say in your speech?"

I was going to be giving a speech at our graduation, and I still hadn't come up with anything good.

Ginny, Luna, Harry, Ron, and I were currently sitting outside by the lake, trying to enjoy the last few days before graduation changed everything.

"I don't know. I can't think of anything that seems to sum up life here. So much happened - thanks to Harry here." I said, shooting a look at Harry.

He chuckled and said, "Pick better friends next time Mione."

I shook my head, "I couldn't have picked better ones."

Ginny smiled, "That's my girl."

"I think you should make it kind of personal." said Luna, bringing us back to the topic of my speech.

"What do you mean?"

"Well you're right, you've been through a lot here. So talk about that. About what life was like here, and then about how much better it's going to be out in the real world." she said, shrugging as if I should have come up with that idea days ago.

"That's actually a really good idea." I said, jotting that down on a piece of paper. I'd have to get started on it tonight, considering we were graduating in four days.

It really hadn't set in yet, and with all the exams, announcements, sporadic trips to Hogsmeade - it was hard to keep track of the days.

I'd seen less and less of Malfoy, which I'd already assumed would happen since they had announced their engagement - officially - two days ago.

I had immediately called off any type of _anything,_ because I refused to have a personal relationship with someone who was in a relationship - especially one as serious as that.

So I'd pretty much been avoiding him - which sucked, because all I wanted to do was curl up in his arms and listen to him tell me another ridiculous story to help me fall asleep.

Those days were over though, as I knew they would be, and I needed to focus. As long as I could avoid him I would be okay. It was easy to deny feelings when you weren't face to face with that person.

"So where are you going after we graduate Mione?" asked Ron.

"The apartment that Buxom and Brandt are helping me pay for is already ready, so I'll move straight there. What about you guys?" I asked, looking around at my closest of friends.

Ginny and Harry smiled and said, "We're still moving into Grimmauld Place, at least for now."

"And sadly I'll have to endure them for a while too." said Ron, chuckling when Ginny stuck her tongue out at him.

I smiled and looked to Luna, who seemed to have a faraway look on her face.

"What about you Luna? What are you going to do?"

"I think I'm going to travel for a while." she said, turning to smile at me, "There are quite a few places I'd love to see."

I chuckled, because traveling was definitely something I could see Luna doing. She'd explore all over the place, finding new creatures wherever she went - because that's just how she was.

"Well it sounds like you're going to be having the most fun out of all of us." said Harry, and we all laughed.

I glanced up and just so happened to see Astoria and Malfoy hand in hand walking around the lake. I wanted to throw up - but considering I couldn't tell anyone that little secret, I simply stood up.

"I'm going to head inside and see if I can get this bloody thing written."

Ginny chuckled, "Don't work too hard."

"As if she could stop herself." said Ron with a smile.

I rolled my eyes and waved goodbye to them, managing to avoid all eye contact with Malfoy, and get inside.

As I walked upstairs I thought back on the night he told me that Astoria was now wearing the ring he'd bought.

_"Hermione, can't we just talk about this?"_

_I shook my head, "No, we can't talk about it. I'm not happy that you're engaged, but I'm not going to continue doing what we've been doing. It's wrong. Simple as that."_

_He sighed, running a hand through his hair and said, "I don't know how to fix this, Hermione."_

_The sound of my name falling from his lips was almost enough to make me wrap my arms around him - add that to the fact that he looked so lost..._

_But I couldn't do that, because he was engaged now._

_"There's nothing to fix, Draco."_

That conversation had been rather painful, but I was okay. I was busy enough that I didn't have to think about him that often, and by the time I got to the common room at night he was usually asleep or in the shower, so I could sneak in unnoticed.

I was sure that once I got some distance between us everything would be fine. I'd even be able to read about him and Astoria and their no-doubt beautiful children - and be okay.

But for right now, I just needed to keep avoiding, because otherwise I didn't think I'd be able to do this.

I walked into the common room and shut the door, taking a deep breath and looking around. I'd spent my entire year here with the one person I thought I couldn't stand.

There were definitely memories here - memories that I didn't regret - but also ones that I didn't want to think about at the moment.

I walked upstairs, looking around the now empty room, since most of my belongings were already at my new apartment - which I still hadn't seen yet.

I didn't know what to think or feel, and I didn't know how Malfoy felt - not that I was trying to ask him, because Merlin knew that would end horribly.

All I needed was to focus on graduation, and after that I'd be able to get over this - whatever this was - and move on with my life.

* * *

**DPOV**

I was bloody nervous.

I would have given anything to be able to crawl back into bed that morning, but it was graduation day, and we were all in the Great Hall waiting for the ceremony to start.

Granger had avoided me like the plague since I'd told her that Astoria was wearing the engagement ring - not that I blamed her entirely - but I still wanted to fucking _talk_ to her.

If for nothing more than to ask how she was doing. I knew she was giving a speech and I was curious about how it had turned out, because based on the curses I'd heard coming from her room at one in the morning it wasn't good.

Then again I didn't doubt for one second that she could pull it off.

That wasn't the reason I was nervous, though.

The real reason was because I was going to bring up my plan with her tonight at the graduation party. I knew that she was against being in a relationship with me, but I was still sure that I could convince her to see my side of things.

So I really just needed this ceremony to be over.

After a few minutes things were finally getting started, but I tuned out almost everything, even getting my diploma, until Granger got on stage.

She looked fucking amazing, as usual.

"I was actually really nervous about coming up here and speaking to you guys today, mainly because I didn't know how I was going to put into words exactly what's happened here over the past seven or eight years."

As soon as she started talking it was clear that she had everyone's attention - mine included, so she continued.

"We've grown so much as individuals, as wizards and witches, but most importantly we've grown as people. People who have experienced great happiness...and great loss within these walls. But no matter what has happened, we've come out better for it. Being in the same graduating class as all of you is an indescribable honor, not because we've made history with the war, but because you all are such amazingly talented people. I have no doubt that whatever all of you decide to do, you will be very successful."

There were a few claps, and she smiled before continuing.

"Our class has been through quite a lot, especially with the antics of Fred and George Weasley."

People laughed and clapped, and a few sent up sparks from their wands in remembrance of Fred, and she waited before she started talking again.

"But those are things we'll remember. The fun times, and the bad - and that's how it's supposed to be. We grew up here, made friends here, accomplished feats we never thought imaginable. All of the things we've accomplished will go down in history, true, but that's not the important part. The important part is that we're proud of what we've done, and that's something that no one can take away from you. So, to this amazing graduating class, I wish you only the very best, and I know you'll all do great things."

Everyone cheered and clapped, and the Weasel, Potter, Weaslette, and Lovegood all hugged her when she got off the stage.

McGonagall announced that the part had officially begun, and that everyone should enjoy themselves, but all I wanted to do was get Granger alone.

I spotted her talking to Luna, so i decided it was now or never.

"Granger,"

She looked up at me, and her eyes widened, but she quickly composed herself.

"Yes, Malfoy?"

"I was wondering if I could speak to you for a moment. McGonagall said that she'd like a word with the two of us."

She glared at me, knowing that I was full of shit, but she couldn't very well say that in front of Lovegood, so she nodded.

"I'll be right back Luna."

Lovegood simply nodded, and Granger and I slipped out of the Great Hall.

"What do you want, Malfoy? In case you haven't noticed, I've been avoiding you for a reason." she said, hand on her hip.

"I know, but I just wanted to talk. I just want you to listen, and hear me out." I said, hoping she'd give me the chance.

"Fine,"

I took a deep breath and asked, "What if we kept dating?"

She raised an eyebrow and asked, "Have you gone mental? You're getting married."

"I know, but think about it. What harm is it doing? I don't love Astoria, she can't possibly love me, so what's the harm in us seeing each other?"

She shook her head and looked away from me, "You're absolutely ridiculous, you know that? You honestly see nothing wrong with a married mad having an affair?"

"But we don't love each other." I argued, trying to get her to see my point.

"That's not the point! You're marrying her, you're making a commitment to her, and whether or not you love her is something you should have considered long before this moment, Malfoy." she snapped.

"Hermione, I love you. What do you want me to say?"

"If you love me, why are you marrying Astoria?" she asked, her eyes tearing up. "If you love me, why does it matter what your father says?"

I shook my head, "You don't understand. It isn't that simple, but if you stayed with me I promise that I'd take care of you. You wouldn't have to work if you didn't want to, you could -"

"Draco, do you even hear yourself? You're being ridiculous!" she shouted.

I ran a hand through my hair, "Hermione please. I have to marry her it's-"

"You are an _adult_ Draco. You have the power, the choice, to stand up and tell your father that you're not going to let him control you anymore, but instead you just go along with everything he says. You're a _coward._ I'm done. I can't do this," she laughed but it was a sound devoid of any real happiness, "Whatever the hell it is we've been doing, anymore. It was one thing to have a fling, but with someone who's _engaged..._ if you really expected me to be okay with that you really don't know me at all."

"I just want to be with you!"

"No, you don't!" she screamed, her tears finally escaping and running down her cheeks, "If you did you would stand up to your father, but you can't do that. You can't do that for yourself and you certainly can't do it for me."

She took a deep breath and looked me straight in the eye as she said, "Goodbye Draco."

I wanted to stop her. I wanted to tell her that whatever she needed me to do to keep her, I would do.

But I didn't, because she was right. I was a coward. It was no one's fault but my own that I'd ended up in this situation - that _we'd_ ended up in this situation.

I slammed my fist against the door of a broom cupboard, the wood splintering instantly, but I didn't give a damn. I'd seriously fucked up, and I was positive there wasn't a damn thing I could say to her that was going to fix this.

I'd never felt this way before, and I could honestly say that I hoped I never had to feel this way again. It was like someone had punched a whole in my chest.

I had always wondered how people had been so stupid as to let anyone get to them in such a way, but now that it was me I couldn't help but think that this was karma for all the horrible things I'd done in my life.

And though I hated to admit it, Granger was probably better off without me.

So I was going to have to put her out of my mind and focus on Astoria, because if I screwed this up there was no doubt in my mind that my father wouldn't hesitate to hex me.

Forgetting Hermione Granger, though, is easier said than done, because I knew that I would find a thousand things that would remind me of her.

* * *

_A thousand things indeed. If only Hermione could have heard that, maybe then she would have been a bit more prepared for the **one** thing that would remind her of Draco for the rest of her life..._


	22. Chapter 22

**HPOV**

"Every day you make us more and more sure of our decision to hire someone so young."

I smiled over at Mr. Buxom, who had stopped by the office to see how my second week was going, and said, "Well thank you Sir. I'm really enjoying it here."

He nodded and said, "And is Kyle treating you well?"

I nodded, "Of course. He's been incredibly helpful with everything. He's a great boss."

"Good, good. Well if there's anything just let him, or I know, and we'll be sure to do whatever we can. Have a good day Ms. Granger."

He walked out of my office and disappeared around a corner, leaving me to my work yet again.

I pulled out my latest case file and worked on it until it was time for me to leave.

On my way out I waved goodbye to Kyle, who smiled and nodded, before I got in the elevator and headed down to the main floor.

I really did enjoy working there, it kept me busy and the people were all really nice - plus the pay was great too, and I could easily afford the apartment I'd bought.

The only thing was, I wasn't happy. Not really anyway.

News of Astoria and Malfoy's wedding was everywhere, and as much as I thought time would help - it didn't. It was worse now than it had been three weeks ago when I left Hogwarts, and on top of all that I was getting sick almost every morning.

I knew what that could mean - obviously - but I didn't want to acknowledge it. I wasn't ready, but I knew that I was going to have to go and get a pregnancy test.

Which is exactly what I'd done, and it was sitting at home in my bedroom. I just hadn't had the nerve to try it yet, but I was planning on doing it when I got home. I couldn't keep avoiding it.

When I got to my flat I dropped my bag onto the couch and headed straight into my bedroom before I lost my nerve.

I picked up the test, and without thinking about it too much, went into the bathroom - sending up a silent prayer that it would come back negative.

* * *

**DPOV**

"Draco, don't you just love this color?"

I glanced over at the china plates with barely concealed contempt and said, "Sure."

Astoria was determined to buy new kitchen ware - well new everything really - and I could honestly care less about any of it.

I hadn't heard from Granger since our fucking graduation, and it was driving me fucking insane. I'd tried to escape the incessant talk of weddings, but every fucking time I tried to get away Astoria or my mother or _some-fucking-body_ would have something else for me to look at.

It was fucking infuriating.

And the wedding was next week.

I felt sick.

I shook my head and focused on what Astoria was saying, because I was determined to try with her. I had to. It wouldn't be fair to her if I didn't.

Of course that didn't make it any fucking easier. Especially with my father breathing down my back twenty-four-seven. It was all suffocating.

Then again, this was all my fault in the first place - but if she'd just agreed to stay -

I shook my head again, ridding myself of the thought. It wasn't important, not anymore. And I really needed to stop cussing in my head. It was getting a little out of hand...even for me.

"Well what about this one?"

"It's lovely dear." I said, faking a smile.

She smiled back and turned to my mother, "This one then."

My mother nodded her approval and then stood from the small table in the store and went to find the owner, leaving Astoria and I alone.

"Aren't you excited? The house is going to look beautiful and our wedding is sure to be in the paper for weeks." she said with a smile.

I nodded stiffly, "Yeah, I know. It's great."

"Are you alright?" she asked softly, her small hand falling onto mine. "You've been out of it ever since we graduated."

I turned my hand over, squeezing hers briefly, before I removed my hand and said, "I'm fine. This wedding is just stressing me out."

I forced the right amount of enthusiasm and genuine tiredness into my voice, and it worked. Astoria smiled and said, "Well it'll all be done soon."

I nodded - attempting for something that didn't look stiff.

"Are you sure you don't want to go on a honeymoon?" she asked, glancing over at my mother - who was sadly deep in discussion with Madam Bromly.

She'd been asking me about a fucki - _freaking_ \- honeymoon ever since we graduated. It was like every other word out of her _freaking_ mouth was about going to Italy, or Greece, or Scotland - the list went on and on. I could honestly care less. I didn't want to go on a honeymoon, because the thought of sleeping with Astoria - the thought of sleeping with _anyone_ aside from Granger - was literally impossible.

"You know I'm really busy with the business." I said smoothly, as I said every time.

She pouted, "Oh but please, Draco? It'd be a wonderful break, and I'm sure your father would give you some time off."

That was the one thing I _could_ count on my father for. There was no way in hell that he was going to let me just drop my obligations for a few weeks to go exploring the world.

"I don't think so, Astoria. We've talked about this already. If you like I can always send you to go travel." I said, hoping to talk myself into some time away from her - already.

She sighed, "No, it's fine. If you can't go, then I won't either. I'd hate for you to be all alone in our big house."

I shoved back the groan at her annoying behavior and said, "Oh don't worry about me. I'll have plenty of work to keep me busy."

I noticed she was about to argue, so I leaned forward, pressing a soft kiss to her lip, "Please? It would make me happy."

She was nodding before I'd even finished the sentence, and I chuckled, "Thank you."

I leaned back in my chair and watched as my mother walked back over to us.

"Well you're all set. I think that's all we've got for today." she said, a strange expression on her face when she looked at me.

I nodded and rose, offering my arm for Astoria - as my years of etiquette automatically took over - and the three of us left the store.

* * *

**HPOV**

I felt like I couldn't breathe. I didn't want to do this.

But I wasn't really going to have much of a choice.

The pregnancy test had come back positive, and now I was left with the job of telling my friends. Of course I wasn't going to tell them _who_ the father was - which would start more problems - but I had to tell them I was pregnant. There was no way around it.

I just hoped they'd be understanding.

I took a deep breath and knocked on the door to Harry and Ginny's house - Grimmauld Place - and waited.

It didn't take long before Ginny was standing in front of me, a worried expression on her face.

"Are you okay? When you called and said you needed to talk to us -"

I shook my head and forced a smile, "I'm fine, Ginny. Really. Are Ron and Harry here?"

"Yeah," she said, leading me down the hallway and into the kitchen.

They were both sitting at the table drinking tea, and I had the extremely desperate urge to run from the room - but these were my best friends. They needed to know. _I_ needed them to know.

"Hey Mione." said Harry, motioning for me to take a seat. "Gin said you had something to tell us."

I nodded slowly and sat down, twisting the silver ring on my pinky.

"You know you can tell us anything." said Ron, his smile genuine.

He was right. I could tell them anything...just not _everything._

"I just want you guys to hear me out, because what I'm about to tell you is...is kind of a serious situation."

Ginny raised an eyebrow, and Harry and Ron shared a look, before turning to me and nodding.

"We're listening."

"I'm pregnant."

The reaction was pretty instantaneous - so instantaneous, in fact, that I was a bit impressed that they could form a thought so quickly.

"What?"

"What do you mean you're pregnant?"

"By _who_?"

I sighed, holding up a hand, "The who is irrelevant -"

"Irrelevant!" interrupted Ginny, her eyes wide, "How is that irrelevant?"

"Because it just is." I said, unwilling to discuss it further. "I just need to know that you guys are going to be there for me."

"Oh honey," said Ginny, moving from her chair to hug me, "Of course we will. No matter what."

Harry and Ron quickly snapped out of it and nodded as well, resting their hands over each of mine, "Of course we will Mione."

"That's what best friends are for." said Ron, giving my hand a squeeze.

I hadn't realized I'd been holding my breath, but I instantly felt a little better.

I didn't want to deal with the rest of the issues that came with being pregnant - especially since it was Malfoy's baby.

Oh Merlin, what the hell was I going to do? Did I tell him? His father? Astoria? Would he see her if I did tell him?

_Ha._

Yeah right.

I shook my head, instead focusing on my amazing friends, "Thank you guys."

"Have you gone to the doctor yet? You're supposed to be taking vitamins. Oh Merlin, this is exciting! We're pregnant at the same time!"

I smiled, and had to admit that the thought was slightly comforting.

"No, I haven't gone yet...I figured I'd wait until the weekend. I do have to work."

"I'll go with you." said Ginny easily, patting my hand and standing up to go get me a cup of tea.

"Are you guys really okay with this?" I asked softly. I really did care what they thought.

Harry sighed, but Ron was the one who spoke up.

"We're not happy about it...only because we don't think this is how you would've wanted it to happen." said Ron softly.

Harry nodded, "But we're all going to love that baby."

They both smiled, and I couldn't help but smile too. It wasn't going to be easy - Merlin, not by a long shot - but it was doable, especially with my friends.

Ginny came back and sat a cup of tea in front of me, and then took her original seat.

"Well...we all obviously have a few questions..." she said slowly.

I nodded, "Sure."

"Why won't you tell us who the father is?"

I sighed, knowing that I'd eventually have to discuss this.

"Because it...it didn't mean anything, and he's not going to be in my baby's life." I said, sticking as close to the truth as possible.

"But why -"

"Please, Gin, this is one thing I'm not budging on. Don't ask." I said, my tone serious.

She sighed, but nodded, "Alright,"

Her face instantly lifted and she said, "What are you going to name it if it's a girl?"

I frowned, "I don't know. I haven't thought about it."

Eager to change the subject I asked, "Have you?"

"If it's a boy we're naming him James, and if it's a girl, Lily."

I smiled, "That sounds perfect."

Ron nodded in agreement and Harry's cheeks tinted pink.

This is exactly what I'd needed. Just to hang out and talk to my friends.

No matter what these next few months threw at me, I would be able to face them.

I couldn't quite wrap my mind around the fact that I was pregnant. That in around nine months I was going to have a baby to take care of.

I shook my head, trying to somehow make myself grasp the extent to which Malfoy would be wrapped around my life - even if he wasn't there.

Which he wouldn't be.

Then again, he wasn't a horrible person. And I knew it was wrong to even be _thinking_ of keeping this from him.

But he walked away from me. He left. Who's to say he won't do just that again, but this time to my child? I don't think I could handle that.

I _knew_ I couldn't.

But I was still undecided about it. Maybe I should just bite the bullet and tell Lucius or Narcissa.

I shook my head with a sigh, clearing away those thoughts. I would have plenty of time over the next nine months to figure out exactly what I was going to do.

* * *

_Nine months indeed, Hermione. But is that enough?_


	23. Chapter 23

**Beginning of August DPOV**

This was not how someone was supposed to feel on their wedding day.

I mean sure, I'd expected not to feel great, but _this,_ what I was _actually_ feeling, was not at all what I'd expected.

I felt sick to my stomach. It was finally hitting me that I was giving up the next _five years_ of my life for my family. I wanted to throw up.

I was giving up Granger - well I'd already given her up, actually, but that didn't make this any easier. All I wanted was to pull her close to me and tell her how sorry I was.

It was hard to believe I'd gotten myself into this situation, but it wasn't anyone's fault but my own.

Granger was right, I was an adult, but I certainly didn't act like one.

But no matter how right she was, it didn't change anything. This was something I had to do.

I adjusted my tie again, feeling like it was strangling me, before I turned away from the mirror, away from the reflection I was loath to look at, and made my way to my fate.

This whole thing seemed more like a funeral march than a wedding one.

I thought that maybe once I saw Astoria, things would change. Maybe I'd realize that this wouldn't be so bad. That I could do this and not feel completely horrible.

But I was wrong. If anything, seeing her walk down the aisle towards me made me want to run - and it took everything in me not to.

Though maybe I should have.

It was no secret to either of us that we weren't exactly compatible.

At least it wasn't a secret to _me._

It's kind of impossible to fall in love with someone when your heart's still caught on someone else.

I was still determined to try with Astoria, though, but everytime she came near me it was almost impossible for me not to want to shove her away.

I ran a nervous hand through my hair, earning a glare from my father, before Astoria stopped in front of me.

I wish I could say that she was beautiful. That she looked stunning on her wedding day. That I couldn't wait to marry her and whisk her away.

But the truth was that none of those were even close to being accurate. What I wanted was to disappear. To somehow make my way back to Granger and fix this mess.

It was too late for that though. I couldn't get the hurt look on her face that last day out of my mind. I was sure that I would carry that with me for the rest of my life.

In the end, I didn't do anything. I simply stood there and let the minister speak, and when it came time for me to say "I do." I did, but not before promising myself that if I ever got the opportunity to see Hermione Granger again, I would do anything and _everything_ in my power to try to get her to forgive me.

**End of August HPOV**

Malfoy's wedding was all over _The Daily Prophet_ , not that I'm surprised.

What I am surprised by is how angry it makes me to see his smiling face, Astoria pressed tightly against his side, facing the camera.

Astoria, of course, looks _stunning_ in her wedding dress, and Malfoy looks as handsome as ever.

It's hard to believe that he's really married now - and even harder to believe that at one point he'd wanted me to stay with him.

He surely didn't look to be regretting anything in this picture. If anything, he looked happier than ever.

Then again that could just be because I was alone, pregnant, and scared.

 _Merlin,_ I was so scared. What was I going to do? How was I going to raise a child by myself?

I took a deep breath and tried to think rationally.

I would never actually have to raise this child alone. I had Arthur and Molly, who had been ecstatic at the news of more little feet pattering around their home, and I had Ron, Ginny, and Harry.

Although Ginny and Harry were expecting their own little bundle of joy.

The thought made me feel less alone knowing that I was going through this with Ginny - even if my situation was completely different from hers.

I didn't know how Ron felt about the whole thing, but he'd been nothing but helpful since the day I'd told them, and it made me incredibly thankful.

I debated on reading the article written by Rita Skeeter, but I figured I had tortured myself enough.

When I'd first seen that this had been the front page I'd bawled my eyes out.

Now, though, fifteen minutes later, I was okay again. I wasn't happy, not by any stretch, but if Malfoy was happy with Astoria, who was I to interfere?

I still didn't know what I was going to do about the new life growing inside me, but I did know that I wasn't going to confront him, Lucius, Narcissa, or Astoria for at least nine months...well actually it was less than that.

Ginny and I had gone to the doctor together, as she'd said we would, and he had told me that I was roughly three months along, give or take a few weeks, putting the birth of this child around February.

That gave me roughly six months to figure out the next eighteen years of my life.

No pressure.

I decided I had tortured myself enough, knowing that this smiling couple would no doubt haunt my nightmares tonight - as he most often did - and threw the newspaper into the trashcan.

I stood up and grabbed my purse. Ginny, Harry, Ron, and I were meeting up for coffee, and hopefully I could take my mind off everything, at least for a few hours.

Because that's what my life had become lately.

Wake up, get dressed, go to work, come home, _think, think, think,_ go to sleep only to have nightmares, and then wake up to do it all over again.

So it was nice to go out with friends, even if it was only a temporary reprieve.

**September DPOV**

My mother's been gone for a month now. She left right after the wedding without so much as a word about where she was going.

I'd asked father, but he brushed it off, saying she'd return when she felt ready.

I'd wanted to ask him about if further, but his tone of voice let me know that it wouldn't get me anywhere even if I did.

"Draco?"

I groaned at the sound of her voice, secretly hoping that she would just disappear.

It still amazed me, and brought a slight smirk to my face, at the fact that I'd managed to avoid almost all physical contact with her.

Who else was smart enough to accomplish such a task, and on their wedding night no less?

In all honesty the thought of sleeping with her - of sleeping with _anyone_ other than Granger wasn't something I wanted to do.

I didn't think I _could_ do.

Of course ever since that night Astoria had been trying - rather unabashedly - to get me to bed.

So far I'd been successful at dodging her attempts, and I was pretty sure this was just another one - which irritated me to no end.

"Draco?" she calld again and I sighed before responding.

"I'm in here."

I picked up the papers on my desk in the study and pretended to look like I was busy doing something regarding the company.

I hardly ever did much with the company, considering I decided to continue to play professional Quidditch for the Falmouth Falcons.

The fact that they were such an aggressive team was great, at least for me, because it gave me the opportunity to get my anger out.

And boy did I have a lot of that.

Astoria pushed open the door to my study, and I had to suppress rolling my eyes.

She had on a sheer white robe that allowed me to see her Slytherin green bra and underwear, and the heels on her feet just made the whole thing even more ridiculous.

I also couldn't help but think that Granger would have looked incredibly hot in something like this.

Astoria, though beautiful, wasn't who I wanted to be standing in front of me.

"Can I help you with something?" I asked, trying to keep the irritation from my voice.

She smiled in a way that I was sure was supposed to be seductive but wasn't and said, "Well you've just been working so hard lately, I thought that I would come help alleviate some stress."

As she was talking she made her way behind my desk to stand in front of me.

She ran a hand through my hair, and I actually felt kind of bad. I mean it wasn't her fault that I didn't want to be with her, and it wasn't her fault that my mind was always occupied by Granger.

I looked up at her and forced a smile, pulling her so that she was sitting on one of my legs. She seemed surprised by the action, not that I blamed her. I hardly ever touched her unless we were in public.

If it was one thing my father had drilled into my head was that he didn't give a damn what we did in our own home, or Malfoy Manor for that matter, but he wouldn't tolerate us looking anything less than the perfect couple out in public.

The press had captured dozens of photos showcasing just how perfect we were. The thought almost made me laugh. _Almost._

My arm was around her waist while my other hand still held the important business papers I should have been finished reviewing hours ago - and would have been had my mind not constantly strayed to what Granger would be doing right now.

"You know I have to get this finished." I said softly. I didn't want to be an arse to her, but I didn't care enough to indulge in her wishes.

I never thought that I, Draco Malfoy, would forego sex for Hermione Granger, but things had changed, indeed.

"But Draco, you've been working so hard all the time. I hardly ever see you."

I clenched my teeth together to stop the words that I really wanted to say from spewing out of my mouth.

I took a breath to calm myself before I responded.

"I know. And I apologize, but -"

"Are you _kidding_ me?" she snapped, moving to stand up and glare at me. "I've done everything to try to get you to acknowledge my presence in this house, but nothing is working. Why the hell won't you sleep with me?"

I tried to bite back my temper, because none of this was her fault, but it was increasingly difficult to do.

"This isn't exactly the perfect arrangement." I pointed out.

"You're not making it any easier! We're _married,_ Draco. Married people talk to each other, they speak, they have _sex._ What the hell is wrong with you?" she yelled, her voice taking on a shrill quality I'd never heard from Granger.

"Shut up, Astoria." I said, running a tired hand through my hair, "We don't love each other, we -"

"You won't even try!"

"Why would I?" I yelled back, my temper finally snapping as I stood up to face her.

"I _was_ in love, Astoria, and I'm sorry, but you're _nothing_ like her."

She narrowed her eyes and said, "And you think I wasn't in love? Or at least _involved_ with someone? You're not the only one who had to give someone up."

"I never pretended to assume that I was." I said, "Now if you'll excuse me, I have work to do."

Without another word she left my study, slamming the door behind her.

I let my head drop onto the desk, exhausted from mearley _existing_ at this point.

I'd never seen Astoria so livid before, but I had a feeling the shy and demure girl from Hogwarts was long gone, and she was starting to show her true colors.

**Still September HPOV**

"Oh come on, Mione. It'll be perfect and you'll be able to look back on it with your child when it's old enough." whined Ginny.

I rubbed a hand over the relatively small bump of my belly, trying to decide how I felt about the idea.

"It'll be fun. We can put pictures of us first, and then when he or she is born you can put her in it too." said Ron.

"Fine, let's do this scrapbook." I conceded, earning a smile from Harry, Ginny, and Ron.

Ginny had been trying to convince me to start a scrapbook for the past two weeks, and now that we were inside one of the many muggle stores that littered London, she'd finally convinced me.

I was excited about being pregnant, of course, but I had so many worries and fears that kind of...overshadowed the fact that I was having a baby.

But this would be nice. Taking pictures to show her - I was sure it was going to be a girl - when she got older.

I wouldn't know for sure what the sex of the baby was for a few more days, but I was pretty sure it would be a girl. It just felt right.

Though that didn't help with the name situation, because I still didn't have one picked out.

I wasn't too worried about that fact though, because I had five months to figure it out.

After we'd brought the scrapbook home, and I'd explained to Ginny and Ron how to use a muggle camera, we took a few pictures.

I promised I'd get them developed as soon as possible and put them into the scrapbook.

"So when are we going to start on the nursery?" asked Ron.

We were all sitting in the living room of my flat, drinking tea and eating little bagels Harry had picked up from one of the bakeries around the block.

"I suppose soon. After I find out what the sex is, then we can at least decorate accordingly."

Ginny nodded, "Harry and I just started decorating ours. I'm sure James is going to love it once he gets here."

Harry rolled his eyes and said, "He's not going to notice."

I chuckled, "I'm sure that's not the point, Harry."

Ginny nodded, clearly pleased that I understood, "It's the thought. He's going to have a spectacular room, because that's what he deserves. He'll be absolutely perfect."

Harry smiled, but it was Ron who spoke up, "Of course he will be, and so will yours."

This last part was directed at me, and I smiled, "Thank you."

Maybe this whole thing wouldn't be as horrible as I kept imagining it.

But it wasn't exactly all my imagination, was it?

I had nightmares every night, the panic attacks that came out of nowhere were horrible, I still hadn't decided whether telling Draco was a good thing, or if I should just let him be happy with Astoria.

It wasn't my place to make their relationship harder just because we'd been careless. This baby was my responsibility.

**October DPOV**

Astoria and I did everything to avoid one another, though she did make it quite obvious when she was fucking someone in one of the many rooms in this huge house.

I couldn't say I cared, to be honest. Our marriage was full of shit anyway, so what if she wanted to fuck around with other people. I'd wanted the same thing.

Now, though, we were forced to attend a function together. The annual Halloween Ball.

If she didn't want to be there with me on my arm, she didn't say so. She trailed around next to me the whole night, posing for pictures and answering questions that reporters asked, painting us to be the perfect couple.

I didn't say much, simply smiled and agreed with whatever she was saying, too caught up in other thoughts to care.

I couldn't help but think back to last Halloween, when I'd seen Granger in that dress...Merlin, I'd wanted to rip it off her as soon as I'd seen her.

Of course that was also the night that Pansy had made the stupid comment on her parents.

But that was _also_ the night that I'd first told Hermione she was beautiful.

If only I could go back to that moment, Merlin I'd do things differently. I'd do _everything_ differently.

She'd been in the paper less frequently lately, no doubt because she'd moved to muggle London, although I knew she was working at Buxom and Brant. What I had seen of her had been fleeting.

There was something about a case she'd been working - I couldn't remember. The only thing I _did_ remember was her face.

If it was possible she'd gotten even more beautiful over the past few months.

I focused back on what Astoria was asking me, and nodded my head. I took her hand and led her out onto the dance floor.

We easily joined the groups of people moving gracefully across the floor and fell into a silence we were both all too used to.

I was surprised she'd asked me to dance, because from what I could gather she wasn't exactly my biggest fan.

Not that I was hers either.

"It's a lovely party." she said, her hands resting lightly on my shoulders.

I nodded stiffly, "Indeed."

"Would it _kill you_ to look at me?" as usual her voice held that annoying irritated tone, but I did what she asked.

"Anything else?" I asked, glaring at her.

She laughed, but it clearly wasn't because she thought anything was funny.

"You're such an arrogant bastard, you know that?"

"Excuse me?"

"You marry me, and then act like I don't exist."

"I didn't act like you didn't exist. I just didn't sleep with you. There's a difference." I said, trying to keep my temper in check. We were in public after all.

"You didn't act like -"

"Don't you _dare_ start to lecture me on what a married man acts like." I snapped, and she at least had the decency to keep her mouth shut.

"You bring men into our home, fuck them loud enough for the whole block to hear, but you want to lecture me on how to be a husband. That's fucking _rich."_

"You're the one in love with -"

"Yet and still I've never cheated on you. I've never brought her, or anyone else into my bed or into our home."

She glared up at me, venom clear in her eyes as she said, "Don't you dare try to make me feel guilty about what I'm doing. If you're not going to take care of my needs then someone else will."

"I don't have a problem with it. So if you'd be so kind as to _tone down_ the volume at which you _screw,_ that would be greatly appreciated." I said, dropping my hands away from her waist.

I left the parlor where the party was being held all together, not at all caring what my father had to say about that.

Either Astoria would spin some lie to _The Daily Prophet_ or they'd come up with some tabloid fodder that no one would believe anyway.

Either way it didn't matter to me what the fuck they decided to do. I needed space, and I needed it quickly, before I really _did_ cause a scene.

**Still October HPOV**

"I am not painting her room pink."

We'd been having this argument for the past ten minutes, and I was apparently getting nowhere. Ginny was adamant that since we now knew for sure that my baby was a girl, her room should be pink.

I wasn't going to have that though, and Ron sided with me.

Harry, as usual, decided to stay out of it. Not that I blamed him. If he sided with me he'd have Ginny's wrath to deal with, and if he sided with her he'd have me to deal with, and she _was_ my baby.

"But Mione -"

"Merlin's balls, Gin would you let it drop. Mione doesn't like pink, so you can bet your arse that her daughter won't either." said Ron, rolling his eyes as he pushed the crib where I wanted it.

Meanwhile Harry was off to the side taking pictures of everything.

Ginny frowned, but seemed to relent, putting a hand on her quickly growing belly - not that I looked too different.

"What do you want to paint the room then?" she asked, glancing around the room.

Most of the furniture had already been put in - thanks to Ron - and now all that was missing was to do something about the bland color of the white walls.

I was slightly torn about the color myself.

I had originally wanted to make the room green, but I didn't think I'd be able to stomach how much it would remind me of Draco, so that color was out.

"What about red?" asked Harry from his spot on the rocking chair in the corner. "It is our old House color."

Ron nodded in agreement, but Ginny rolled her eyes at the boys, "Red is a violent color for babies. You're not supposed to paint a room that color."

"Well why the bloody hell not?" argued Ron, "It's a _baby,_ what does it know about colors and violence?"

Harry nodded his agreement, "That color psychology bullshit is just that, bullshit. I think you can paint the baby's room whatever bloody color you want."

I chuckled at the argument and said, "Maybe I should do one accent wall red, and the other three gold."

Ginny didn't seem too happy about the red wall, but seemed to know enough about pregnant women not to argue with me about it.

"Well that sounds great. Let's get some paint in here and do it."

"You actually want to paint the walls by _hand?"_ asked Ron.

I laughed, "I don't think so. It'd be kind of difficult to do considering all the furniture's in here already. Just cast a spell."

He nodded, obviously relieved, and asked, "What wall do you want red?"

I glanced around, before picking the wall across from the door, on the right side of the crib.

He nodded and pulled his wand out, and within a few seconds the walls were painted.

"I love it." I said, looking around.

The colors were just right, and I knew my baby girl would love it - just as James would love the blue nursery Ginny and Harry had decorated for him.

Merlin, I still didn't have a name for her, and the closer we got to February the more nervous I got. I mean Ginny and Harry had named James after Harry's father, and as much as I liked the idea of naming my daughter after my mother, I didn't think my daughter was a _'Jean'._

That's when it dawned on me. My mother's middle name had been Rose, and _that_ sounded like my daughter.

"Guys," I said, interrupting their chatter, "I finally thought of it."

Harry and Ron looked confused, but Ginny seemed to know exactly what I was talking about, if her smile was of any indication.

"Rose. Rose Granger."

"Oh Mione," said Ginny, tears springing to her eyes, "That's perfect."

Ron nodded, "She'll love it."

Harry agreed and we soon fell into easy conversation about babies, and jobs, and for a second, just for a second, it seemed like I could do this.

It seemed like maybe I could be a good mother.


	24. Chapter 24

**End of November DPOV**

If I had to spend anymore time in this fucking house I was going to lose my mind. I hated it here, literally _hated_ it.

It was nothing like Malfoy Manor, which was an upside, but I still hated being here. Everything reminded me of how fucked up my life was.

All the wedding pictures on the walls - that I'd taken down at least twice - just added to my irritation.

Then again, I had been pissed ever since I'd seen Hermione in _The Daily Prophet_ this morning with the Weasel. They had been walking through Hogsmeade together, and apparently everyone was all riled up considering Hermione hardly ever set foot in the Wizarding World unless it was to go to work.

The headline had been some controversy about whether or not she and the Weasel were dating.

I had no reason to be as furious as I was, I understood that, but I didn't give a fuck. I was _livid_ and I wanted to punch Weasley in his fucking face.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. It wouldn't do me any good to go down to this stupid family dinner irrationally pissed off.

Astoria's family was here, as were mine - though hers was definitely larger considering the only one I had here was my father - and they were ready to celebrate our three month anniversary.

Which neither Astoria or I gave a damn about.

I ran a hand through my hair, checked over my appearance, and then headed downstairs into the large dining room.

I took my seat by Astoria, trying to sit as far away from her that would still seem normal, and greeted her parents, Daphne, and her two aunts and uncle.

"So how is married life treating the two of you?" asked Astoria's mother.

I took a drink from my Fire Whiskey, so Astoria answered.

"It's amazing. We just can't get enough of each other, can we, Draco?" her voice dripped with sugary sweetness, and it almost made me want to laugh at how stupid all of this was.

"Just lovely, dear." I said, the same sugary sweetness in my voice as well.

"Well isn't that sweet." said Astoria's mother.

My father didn't seem too interested in our relationship, and my mother still wasn't back from wherever the hell it was that she disappeared to, so it wasn't like she could give her input.

I was curious as to if she'd know that I was unhappy. She'd always been rather observant.

Dinner went on without a hitch, and everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves - well everyone aside from Astoria and I.

Not that anyone seemed to notice that.

After dinner everyone stayed seated around the table, drinking wine and talking about grandchildren - I had to force back a snort at the idea - and Daphne was asking five thousand questions about our married life.

I was about to gouge my eyes out if she asked me another fucking question about the wedding, so I was happy when the phone rang.

Not that having a house phone was my idea, but I'd never been more thankful for the muggle contraption a day in my life.

"I'll get it."

I quickly excused myself and moved into the living room.

I couldn't help but be hopeful that one of these days it'd be Hermione calling. I'd owled her the number, but never got a response. Not that I'd expected one, in all honesty.

I made it over to the phone and picked it up.

"Hello,"

"D-D-Draco?"

"Hermione?"

**Same time as Draco's Dinner HPOV**

I couldn't get the tears to stop.

I wanted him _so badly_ I didn't know what to do. I couldn't _breathe,_ and there wasn't a damn thing I could do about it.

I just wanted him. No matter how wrong it was, how dirty, how tainted, at that moment I didn't care. I just wanted him to hold me and tell me he loved me and that he wanted me and that he would never, _ever_ let me go.

I slid down the wall in my bedroom, moonlight streaming in through the window I forgot to close earlier, the emerald pendant he'd given me clenched in my right hand, digging into my skin.

I just wanted him here, I _needed_ him to be here.

And the worst feeling in the world was knowing that he couldn't be here. There was no way in the world that he could be here with me right now, and that broke my heart.

I tried to wipe the tears away, but they just kept coming, and I knew the only thing that would make them go away was the one thing I could never have.

I put one hand over my stomach, the bump there definitely noticeable now, and I hated myself. I hated myself because I needed to be stronger for my little girl, my little Rosie, but I couldn't stop crying. I couldn't force any air into my lungs and I didn't know what to do.

I just wanted to breathe and I couldn't. Everything was too much. Rose was due in less than three months and I was terrified of what I was going to do.

I was terrified that he didn't think about me at all, that he never cared about me.

This train of thought caused a new flood of tears to stream down my cheeks, and I gasped trying to force the air into my lungs.

I felt the necklace cut into the palm of my hand, and I was so angry. Angry at him, angry at the world, angry at _myself._

No one should have this type of effect on someone, but I couldn't, I just _couldn't_ stop. I didn't know how to deal with this. I didn't know how I was going to raise Rosie without him - I didn't want to, but I didn't have a choice.

I hated that I didn't have a choice.

I hurled the necklace away from me and it landed with a thud on the opposite side of the room, sliding underneath the dresser.

Good. I didn't want to see it. I couldn't deal with having him so close to me. I couldn't bear the thought of looking at it right now.

It wasn't any easier to get air into my lungs, but the crying had slowed some, so I focused on trying to take slow breaths.

Stress wasn't good for the baby - or so my doctor had told me.

If only he knew. Merlin, I couldn't have been more stressed out, and the worst part was that I couldn't even tell anyone about it.

That caused the tears to start all over again and I just wanted it all to stop.

I pushed myself away from the wall and stumbled over to the bed. I picked up the phone and with shaky fingers I dialed the one number I'd promised myself I'd never dial.

"Hello?"

"D-D-Draco?" I cursed the stutter in my voice, but I couldn't make the tears or the gasping stop.

"Hermione?"

That one word tore me apart and forced the air back into my lungs all at the same time. When I didn't say anything he started talking again.

"Fuck, Hermione, are you okay? Do you need me to call someone?"

"N-No, I'm f-f-fine." I said, closing my eyes against the onslaught of feelings his voice brought up in me.

"You don't sound fine." he said softly.

"Neither d-do you." And he didn't.

Then again I'd probably interrupted something. He was at home, and it was well past ten at night.

That didn't help with the tears, and I was about to hang up the phone, because really, what had I been _thinking?_ He was talking again.

"I'm not."

"Not w-w-what?"

"Not fine. I'm not fine, Hermione. I _fucking miss you_ more than I've _ever_ missed anyone in my fucking life. I'm so sorry."

Merlin, no. Not this. I couldn't have him say this. Why had I even called him? What the hell was _wrong_ with me?

"I h-h-ave to g-g-go." I said, barely able to get the words out.

"Hermione, wait. Please, I haven't heard your voice in months. At least tell me what's wrong. _Please._ I'm worried. You don't sound okay. What's wrong?"

I wanted to scream at him. I wanted to yell that _no shit_ I wasn't okay. I was _breaking apart._ Not that he cared. He had his perfect little life, and my daughter and I had no place in it.

I wanted to say that I hated him. That I hoped he was happy with Astoria. I wanted to tell him that he had ripped my heart out and stomped all over it.

I wanted to tell him he had a daughter.

I wanted to tell him I loved him.

In the end I didn't say any of those things. The only thing I managed to force out between tears was, "Y-you. You're w-what's wrong."

I hung up the phone, shaking worse than I had been before, and cursing myself for calling him. What the fuck had I been thinking?

Merlin, the tears were never going to stop. It was never going to get better.

My phone started ringing and I looked at the number, recognizing it as the one I'd just dialed, and threw my phone, not caring that it was most likely broken.

I didn't care. None of that mattered.

He had Astoria, and a beautiful house, and they would have beautiful children, and I would be stuck alone and scared -

I stopped myself. I closed my eyes and forced myself to stop crying.

This wasn't just about me. I had Rosie to think about, and she was all I needed. This beautiful, _beautiful_ little girl inside me was all I needed. She was all that mattered, and together we would be okay.

I rested my hand over my stomach and felt her move, as if she was agreeing with me. That helped stop the tears, and my breathing evened out shortly after that.

I rubbed my hand up and down my stomach, determined to be strong for this little girl. She deserved nothing less.

I wouldn't call him again. I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of hearing me completely break down. Never again.

That was a promise I was making Rosie, and myself.

_Never again._

**Middle of December DPOV**

Ever since Hermione had called me that night I'd been trying to get a hold of her - with no luck.

I had honestly never expected her to call me, and when she had - _fuck_ she'd sounded so broken, I didn't know what to do.

I couldn't stand the pain I heard in her voice, and I knew that it was me who'd caused it. She'd said as much before she hung up on me.

I'd called her back the next day, but the number had been disconnected, so I knew she'd done it so that I wouldn't contact her.

She hadn't even been in the papers since last month when I'd seen her with Weasley, and even then it hadn't been a good picture.

I just wanted her back _so badly,_ but there wasn't anything I could do about it. She made it clear that she didn't want me to bother her anymore.

I was a complete prick, but I only wanted her to be happy, so if that meant leaving her alone so that she could move on, then that's what I would do.

I would let her go.

I hadn't expected that to hit me as hard as it did, but it was as if all the air had been forced from my lungs, and I had to sit down on the edge of my bed.

I dropped my head into my hands and tried to steady my breathing, ignoring the prickling feeling of tears threatening to spill over my cheeks.

I had never in my _fucking life_ cried over a girl, but the pain, the _physical pain_ I felt in my heart at never speaking to Hermione again was too much.

I felt first one, then two tears burn their way down my cheeks. I stood up and threw my fist through the wall, not feeling anything but the pain in my chest. I couldn't believe I'd fucked up this badly.

And for what? A father who didn't give a fuck about me? A mother who wasn't even here? A wife who fucked anything with a pulse?

I gave up _everything._ How could I have been this stupid?

I slammed my fist into the wall again, and a few minutes later I heard someone banging on my door, but I couldn't force myself to care.

I simply waved my hand, adding an extra locking spell and casting a silencing charm, not wanting to hear anything anyone had to say.

The thought of never being able to hold Hermione again, never being able to tell her I loved her, never being able to see her and tell her how much she fucking meant to me - that wasn't something I could handle.

I fell back down onto my bed, staring up at the ceiling. I couldn't force myself to move, though I was sure I needed to heal my hand.

It somehow just didn't seem important.

**Christmas HPOV**

Christmas at the Burrow had to be the most amazing experience.

The whole house was filled to the brim with people, the mouthwatering smell wafted over everything, and the atmosphere was happier than anywhere I'd been in a long time.

"Now we can thank Hermione for the lovely desserts. There are enough to feed a small army!" said Molly.

Everyone whooped, and I smiled, "I know how these boys like to eat."

All the Weasley men could only agree, and Ron pointed to a three tier chocolate cake.

"I want a piece of _that."_

I chuckled, "I figured you would."

Molly passed around plates, and everyone dug in all over again, somehow managing to find room for my desserts even though Molly had stuffed all of us with amazing food earlier.

"Are you excited? You've only got two months until little Rosie gets here." said Molly.

I smiled, "I can't wait to meet her, but I think Ginny here is more excited. She's due next month."

Ginny smiled, taking Harry's hand in hers, "Excited, yes. Freaking out, _hell yes_."

Everyone around the table chuckled, and I said, "Well lucky for the two of us we've got more than just ourselves to count on for help."

She nodded, looking around the table at her family, "We couldn't be luckier, huh?"

I smiled, and nodded.

"Oh! I almost forgot, everyone scooch together on one side of the table. This has to go in the scrapbook."

Everyone chuckled, but did what I asked, and I set the timer, and then joined them, scooting between Harry and Ron, my hands protectively over my belly, a smile on my face.

The flash went off and I grabbed the camera, putting it back into my purse.

Ever since Ginny had gotten my started on the scrapbook I'd been taking pictures of everything, and the scrapbook already had pictures in it, like the ones of us decorating the nursery, us out in Hogsmeade, Ron and I in muggle London at a bakery shoving cake in each others faces, and now this would join in as well.

"Let's open presents!" said Angela, George's wife.

Everyone agreed and made their way into the living room where the tree stood with tons of presents underneath it.

Everyone started opening presents, and before we knew it the room was littered with wrapping paper and bows and ribbons.

I had gotten lots of things for Rosie, mostly cute little baby clothes, but also things like diapers and blankets and baby bottles.

When the night started to draw to a close I shrunk everything so it would fit into my purse and turned to thank Molly and Arthur again, before leaving with Ron.

He had taken to apparating with me, because he was always worried something would happen with the baby, even though they'd told me it was still perfectly safe for me to do so without complication.

Next month, though, I'd have to stick with using the floo to get to work, which was a bit of a pain in the arse, but not that big of a deal.

"Did you have fun?" he asked, taking my coat and hanging it up in the hall closet.

I nodded, kicking my shoes off, "It was great. Exactly what I needed."

He followed me into the nursery, watching as I put up the things I'd gotten.

"Well I'm glad. If you ever need anything, you know all you have to do is call."

I smiled and hugged him - as best as I could with my belly - and said, "I know. Thank you, really. You've been so amazing."

He chuckled, "Don't go getting all emotional pregnant lady on me."

I laughed and shoved him towards the fireplace, "Get out of here."

He chuckled, "I'll see you tomorrow, Mione."

And with a puff of green smoke he was gone.

**January DPOV**

"Hey mate."

I looked up and found Blaise walking towards me.

I had gone to Hogsmeade to be _alone,_ but of course that never lasted long.

"Hey,"

"How are you? We haven't really spoken since your wedding." he said, taking a seat across from me at the little coffee shop.

I shrugged, "I'm fine. Don't you read the paper?"

"Sure I read the paper, but we both know most of that ends up being bullshit anyway."

I couldn't help but agree, "Yeah, I suppose that's true."

"So how are you really? Missing that mystery girl?"

"Don't," I snapped, clenching my teeth, "Don't even bring her up."

He let out a long sigh and said, "I'm not going to tell you I-told-you-so, but I think you made a mistake."

"You think I don't know that?"

"Well you aren't doing anything to fix it."

"I have a commitment."

"That's more important than your own happiness? I don't think that's fair."

I glared at him, "Of course it's not fucking _fair._ That's life, Blaise. Sometimes it sucks."

"But it doesn't have to." he said quietly.

"Just drop it." I said, tired of the conversation.

"Fine. Any word from your mother?"

I shook my head, "No, and my father isn't exactly forthcoming with information."

Blaise sighed, "I'm sorry mate."

For some reason I knew he was talking about more than just my absentee mother, but I didn't call him on it.

"Me too."

"I think you need to get out. Go to a club or something. You know, have a guys night."

I couldn't help but smirk, "That doesn't sound completely horrible."

He chuckled, "I'll see you Saturday night then."

I nodded and watched as he stood and disappeared inside one of the many shops that lined the streets of Hogsmeade.

It hadn't escaped me that Blaise had been the one telling me that I'd regret marrying Astoria, that I could never be happy with her - and he'd been right.

Not that I'd doubted him back then either.

I ran a hand through my hair, and secretly wished I'd see Hermione walking towards me, but of course I knew that wasn't probable.

Apparently she never came to Hogsmeade anymore.

**End of January HPOV**

Everyone was making a bigger deal out of this than what it was. So I'd had a tiny little spill in the kitchen, it wasn't like I'd hurt myself or Rosie.

"I don't care. I'm moving in. You're giving birth next month and you shouldn't be on your feet as much as you are anyway." argued Ron.

I sighed, too tired to argue any further, "Fine, move in if you must. All of you are so dramatic."

"We're just worried about you. I never liked that you lived here alone." said Ginny, shifting little baby James to her other arm.

He really was an adorable baby, only three weeks old.

"Well I'm glad you all have peace of mind now." I said, mock pouting.

Ron chuckled, throwing his arm around my shoulders as Harry came from the kitchen carrying a teapot and cups on a tray.

"It's only for a month, Mione. Less than that even. Besides, don't you get bored here all by yourself? You haven't worked for two weeks."

I sighed, "Yeah, I guess it does get pretty boring around here."

"See! So it'll be a good thing Ron's here." said Ginny.

"Let me see my little nephew." I said, stretching my arms out for James.

She smiled and passed him over to me, and I couldn't help but picture Rosie in my arms. It was so close, but still seemed so far away.

I was a little nervous about the birth, but I knew that I could handle anything. I'd been there for Ginny, and she promised she'd be there for me.

I had no doubt that I could do this.

"So are you going to tell the father?" asked Harry softly.

I sighed, rocking James softly, and said, "I don't know, Harry. I haven't figured all that out yet."

"Don't you think he deserves -"

"He doesn't deserve a thing. Not from me or Rose. So please just let it go."

He sighed, but didn't push it.

Everyone had been dancing around the topic of Rosie's dad for the past few weeks now, but I didn't have anything to say to them about it.

Even when I did figure out what I was going to do, I wasn't going to tell them. They wouldn't understand anyway.

But for now I was happy to know that in a few weeks I'd be holding my own precious little baby.


	25. Chapter 25

**February Seventeenth, 8:57 PM, St. Mungo's HPOV**

I never really imagined what I'd feel like when I heard that first cry, but it was better than anything I'd ever felt in my life.

There is _nothing_ that compares to holding your baby for the first time.

The delivery had been a pain in the arse, and I was exhausted, but it didn't matter.

Rosie was precious.

I wasn't surprised that she had a tuft of light blonde hair on her head, and Draco's silver eyes, but she was beautiful. _Absolutely beautiful_.

At first I was a little worried that someone would notice the similarities between Rose and Draco, but I doubted they would be able to put it together. No one expected Draco and I to have anything going on.

And even though I was trying to get past him, I still found that fact a little sad.

"She's beautiful, Mione." said Ginny, tears in her eyes as she stood to my right, my camera clutched in her hands.

She'd taken a picture of Rose all bundled up before they'd given her to me, and then she'd taken another picture of me holding her for the first time.

A few minutes later Ron and Harry came in.

"Oh Merlin, she's adorable." said Ron.

I smiled, "Want to hold her?"

His eyes widened, but he nodded slowly, "Yeah,"

Harry smiled, but a curious expression crossed his face seconds later, "I take it he was a blonde?"

"Well I'm not." I said, trying to keep as much emotion out of my voice as possible.

"Well she looks a lot like you."

I nodded, "Yeah, she does, doesn't she?"

A few minutes later a nurse shooed everyone out, and they put Rose in her own little baby bed next to me.

When everyone was out of my room, when the lights were off, when everything was quiet - that's when it hit me.

She looked _so much_ like Draco, it was almost painful. There was no doubt that I loved her. I loved her more than anything, and I would do anything for her, but that didn't change the facts.

I hadn't realized how hard it would be to see so much of Draco in her, but I should have expected it. His features were sharp, and definitely dominant. She would be a beautiful girl.

Suddenly I couldn't stop the tears.

They weren't sobs, as they so often were, they were just silent tears. Tears of happiness and sadness all at once.

Happiness because she was here, she was healthy, she was safe. Sadness because whenever I looked at her she would remind me of him - and I didn't know how I was supposed to handle that.

Was it possible to get over someone who was constantly around? At least in some way?

The next morning the nurse came into my room, asking what I knew she would.

"Have you made a final decision on the name?"

I'd given this a lot of thought - _a lot -_ and even though I was hurt and angry and five hundred other emotions I couldn't even name, I still wanted Draco to have at least _some_ part of her. _  
_

I remembered back in Hogwarts when we'd talked about baby names, and he'd said he would want to stick with the astronomy names, so I'd looked into a few, and after _weeks_ of debating, I finally decided on her name.

"Yes, Rose Phoenix Granger."

* * *

**Mid March HPOV**

Rosie was four weeks old, and I had finally decided what I was going to do.

I suppose that's why I was standing outside Malfoy Manor.

I braced myself and knocked on the door, and a few seconds later a house elf was opening it.

"How can Wispy help lady?"

"Um...I'm looking for Lucius."

Wispy nodded and opened the door further, allowing me to walk in.

I tried to focus my eyes on the wall, because this entire house had too many memories for me. Painful memories.

A few seconds later Lucius was coming down the stairs, a scowl on his face already.

"I presume there's a reason you've decided to show up in my home unannounced."

I nodded, "Yes...it's a rather serious reason that affects you and your son."

"What could you possibly have to do with my boy? We don't associate with _your kind_." he snapped.

"I'm aware you don't, Lucius. But your son did. I wasn't sure if -"

"What do you mean _'my son did'_?"

Quick, like a bandaid...right?

"He has a daughter."

" _What_?"

"He has a daughter. Her name is Rose and she's four weeks old -"

"Get out of my house, you filthy Mudbood. How _dare_ you try to tarnish the Malfoy name by suggesting he _ever_ laid a hand on you." he spat.

I backed up, but said, "He did more than that, Lucius."

"My son is married to a beautiful Pureblood. He has no room for the likes of you making up lies."

I nodded, "Which is why I told you."

Without another word I turned on my heel and left. I would talk to Draco next...but not today. Today I was going to spend time with Rosie.

* * *

**End of March HPOV**

"Astoria?"

She nodded slowly and I stepped back to let her in, instantly curious as to why she was here.

"How are you?" she asked, her eyes scanning the flat.

"I'm fine...why are you here?"

"Lucius spoke with me last week. He said that you visited him saying you had a child...that it was Draco's child."

The way she spoke was slightly stilted and it made me curious as to if she was here to save her marriage or save herself a headache with the press if this got out.

"Yeah, I did."

"Well if you don't mind my asking, where is -"

She was interrupted by Rosie's cry from the nursery.

I left Astoria standing in the living room and grabbed Rosie, walking back with her.

When Astoria saw her, her eyes widened, because really, it was obvious that this was Draco's baby.

"Hermione, you have to understand. Draco and I are happy together."

"You don't think he'd want to know he has a daughter?" I asked, sitting down on the couch.

She sat down opposite me, her legs crossed at the ankles, her hands folded on her knees and said, "No, I don't. We're happy together, Hermione. He loves me and I love him, and he doesn't need to be weighed down by a mistake he made in school."

She was right. This wasn't Draco's responsibility. Plus, I couldn't deny that Draco looked happy in the papers...

It wouldn't be fair of me to force him back into my life because of Rose - not that I thought he'd be part of her life anyway.

"So you don't want me to tell him?"

She shook her head, "You understand, don't you?"

I nodded, "Yeah, I do."

She pulled out a checkbook and said, "Let me at least help -"

"I don't need your money. I'm perfectly capable of taking care of her by myself. Now if you'll excuse me, I have some things to do today."

Astoria grimaced, but put the checkbook up and stood, walking over to the door.

"Was it serious between the two of you?"

I stared at her for a while before I managed to force the words out, "No, I suppose not. Now if you would please." I said, motioning to the door.

She grabbed the handle, but before she left she said, "You have a beautiful daughter."

I didn't have time to respond, because she was gone a second later, leaving me feeling confused, but slightly better about my decision not to tell Draco.

I'd been putting it off for the exact reasons she'd said. He was married. He was happy.

It would be wrong of me to take that away from him, no matter how much I hated him for everything he'd put me through.

* * *

**Mid April DPOV**

It was weird to think that Astoria and I had been married for eight months, considering we'd barely spoken for over half of it.

Come to think of it, I hadn't seen her for two days - not that I was concerned. She did this quite often. Ever since the Halloween Ball she'd at least decreased the number of men she fucked here, opting instead to go to their homes.

I took a sip of the Fire Whiskey in my hand and looked outside at the budding spring weather, wishing I had someone -

I shook my head. That train of thought wouldn't lead anywhere good.

Hermione had been in the paper again, something about Buxom and Brant promoting her because she was such a good worker.

I didn't doubt it. No matter what she did, she always excelled at it.

Especially ignoring and avoiding me. That was something she was _really_ good at. Well, at least she had been. I hadn't tried to contact her in quite some time.

Which left my days pretty boring.

Blaise hung out with me sometimes, but he was off traveling often, so that left me with Theo, who only wanted to go to clubs and fuck girls he met there - which of course, I could have done too, but I just didn't have it in me.

Then again, maybe I should. It would definitely help get my mind off everything, if only for a while.

"Draco?"

I groaned, downing the rest of my drink before standing up and heading towards her voice.

Astoria was shrugging out of her jacket, rather obviously trying to display the fact that she had on a short and tight sparkling dress that barely covered her arse.

"Yes?"

"I was wondering if we could talk."

"Talk?" I repeated, already disliking where this was going. I didn't want to talk.

"Yes, it's this thing we seem rather bad at doing."

Her words reminded me of when Hermione and I had said relatively the same thing back at Hogwarts, and I was suddenly just _so tired._

I sighed, "What did you want to talk about, Astoria?"

"The woman you said you loved."

I'm pretty sure my eyes looked like they were about to pop out of my head, and I couldn't really find any words, so I simply followed her back into the living room.

She sat down, crossed her ankles and folded her hands together on her lap - always the picture of fucking elegance even when she sat there in her outfit from two nights ago - and started talking.

"You said that you had to give her up, correct?"

"I married you, didn't I?" I asked, the venom in my voice not as dominant as I would have wanted it to be. I just sounded defeated. Though I was, wasn't I?

"So she wasn't the type to sleep with a married man."

It wasn't a question, but I answered her anyway.

"No, she wasn't."

"Well good."

I snorted, "How is that good?"

"Because I think we should start over. This isn't exactly how I want to live the next five years of my life."

I shrugged, "That's not my problem."

"But it is. I'm your _wife,_ and whether you like it or not, your mystery woman isn't coming back to you. You're stuck with me, so we should try to fix this." she said, shifting slightly.

It was hard to take anything she was saying seriously, because of how she looked, but she had a point. Suffering for the next four years and four months wasn't exactly something I wanted to do.

"Fine,"

She smiled, and it reminded me a little of how she'd been at Hogwarts, before she said, "Good, how about we go out to lunch? Start over?"

I nodded, not really paying attention anymore. She stood up and walked upstairs to her room. Hopefully she'd take a while.

It wasn't that I didn't want a better relationship with my _wife,_ but, well, I didn't want to spend time with her, because every second I spent with her was another second that the universe was rubbing it in my face that I fucked up. That I wasn't going to be happy here with her - it literally wasn't possible.

At least not how I would've been happy with Hermione.

But maybe this was a good change. Maybe I'd learn to tolerate her for the next four years, because as soon as I was able, I would figure out how to get Hermione back.

I would.

* * *

**Rosie's First Birthday, HPOV**

"She's growing up so fast." said Ginny, bouncing James up and down on her hip while we watched Rose smashing her little fingers into her birthday cake.

I'd made a separate one, of course, so she could have fun with that one.

Harry, Ron, Ginny, and all the Weasley's were here, smushed into my flat, celebrating Rosie's very first birthday.

I had gotten a Polaroid camera, so some of the pictures I'd taken from the party were already in the scrapbook.

"I know, it's hard to believe it's really been a year already."

"It's cool that our kids were born so close together. Wouldn't it be funny if they got married one day?" said Ginny, a smile on her face.

I chuckled, "Let's get them out of diapers before we start planning marriages, alright?"

She laughed and nodded, "Deal."

"She looks like Ron when he eats." commented Harry, watching as Rosie got more cake on her face than in her mouth.

Ron rolled his eyes and pretended to be offended, "Shut up, guys."

"What? It's true." said Ginny, giving her brother a playful smile.

After a few minutes Molly went over and picked her up, taking her into the kitchen to clean her up.

I chuckled and looked around. My flat was filled with people who I loved, and who loved me too - and Rosie. It was a really amazing feeling...

But despite that, I couldn't help but feel slightly disappointed that Draco couldn't be there. Rosie deserved both parents.

But before I could get too sucked into my thoughts, Molly brought her out of the kitchen, and instantly George, Percy, and Ron were cooing over her.

I smiled, she didn't need Draco. She had a whole group of daddy's taking care of her, and if she was okay then I was okay too. She was what was important to me, and watching her face light up as she was passed between the Weasley's - that was all I needed.


	26. Chapter 26

**Mid July, Rosie Age 3, HPOV**

"Can I ask you something?"

I looked over at Ron, who was holding Rosie on his lap while we sat on the park bench.

We came here often because Rosie liked being outside and seeing other kids, and because it was a nice place away from everything - even if we were in the middle of muggle London.

"Sure," I said.

Instead of asking his question, though, he turned to Rosie and said, "How about you go play with James for a little bit?"

Rosie nodded and wiggled off his lap, walking over to the slide where Ginny stood, one year old baby Albus on her hip, watching James on the slide.

She smiled when Rose joined her, and glanced over at the two of us before turning her attention back to the children.

Harry and Ginny had Albus last May, and Ginny was pregnant again, this time with a girl they'd decided to name Lily.

They were _really_ busy.

"It's about the father." said Ron, bringing me out of my thoughts.

I looked over at him, and he looked slightly uncomfortable. Well that made two of us.

"What about him?"

"Well...have you ever thought about telling him? I mean I know you said he wasn't important or anything, but I know you, Mione. You wouldn't want this."

I sighed, "Of course I don't want this, Ron. It sucks to be a single mom - but it's _amazing_ being a mom. I love that little girl with all my heart and neither I nor she needs him."

"But how do you know what he'd think?"

"Because I know him." I said, the words out before I could register what I was saying.

It was true though. I probably knew Draco better than most people, so I was exactly sure of what kind of _child_ he was. He wasn't ready for adult responsibilities.

He hadn't chosen me three years ago, he surely didn't deserve the choice now.

The first two years had been _really hard_. Even though I'd told Astoria that I wouldn't tell Draco, I couldn't help but want to know what his reaction really would have been. I mean I could _say_ that he would or wouldn't do something, but when it came to Draco my judgement was _clearly_ a little foggy.

Ron had been around a lot, which I was extremely grateful for, because I doubted I could've done this without him.

Molly and Arthur had helped out a lot too, always babysitting when I had to work and Ginny couldn't watch Rose for me.

 _Merlin,_ and work had been more than understanding. Kyle had given me an extra month off to just be with Rosie - which I was extremely thankful for.

I was even more thankful for the fact that he kept my pregnancy to himself. The last thing I needed was the whole wizarding world knowing I'd had a daughter - because it wouldn't take a genius to figure out that I didn't have a boyfriend - let alone a husband. And Draco was smart. He'd be able to piece together that either I'd cheated during our... _thing_ or he was the father.

And I couldn't risk that.

So Kyle had kept that fact to himself, so long as I brought him updates on how she was doing - which I did often.

He loved seeing pictures of her -

And my _Merlin_ had she grown.

Her platinum blonde hair had grown to her shoulders in little curls that looked exactly like mine - after that horrendous time between birth and Fourth Year - her eyes were that piercing gray I knew all too well, and the freckles that spattered that regal nose were mine.

She really was an adorable little girl, and the fact that I was able to give her a normal life here in London was amazing. She knew about magic, of course, and she knew that I was a witch and that she was too, but at three years old I figured that was all she needed to know at this point.

"People change, Mione. It's been three years." he said softly, bringing me out of my reminiscing.

"True as that may be for some people, it's not true for him. He'll stay _exactly_ how he is."

He seemed to realize he wasn't going to convince me of anything and dropped the conversation, instead opting to talk about this new assignment he'd gotten with Harry.

They'd both been accepted in the Auror program and climbed the ranks pretty quickly - unsurprisingly war heros were kind of a hot commodity. Especially two of the Golden Trio. Heaven forbid they not be promoted immediately.

The conversation flowed easily, as it most always did, and the awkwardness of earliers conversation was quickly forgotten.

An hour later Rosie and I were headed home. I had finally decided what I was going to do with a rather important piece of jewelry.

When I pushed open the door to our flat she ran in ahead of me, flinging herself down on the couch and saying, "Pwesent, pwesent, pwesent!"

I chuckled, "Yes, present. I'm getting it now."

I walked back into my room and over to the jewelry box that I hardly ever opened.

I took a deep breath and lifted the lid, the shimmering emerald drawing my eye immediately.

I picked it up, thinking back to the time he'd given this to me. Three years ago for a rather interesting Christmas.

I couldn't help but wonder if he still had the watch I'd given him.

Probably not.

With a resounding click I shut the box and headed back out into the living room.

She was practically bouncing off the couch with excitement, and when she saw what I was holding her eyes widened.

"Pwetty! For me?"

I smiled and sat down next to her, "Someone gave this to me a while ago, and I think that they would have wanted you to have it. Do you want mummy to put it on for you?"

She nodded, her eyes wide.

I charmed the necklace so the chain was shorter to fit her better, and then closed the clasp.

Somehow giving her the necklace felt right. Like even though Draco couldn't _physically_ be here, he was still with her - in a way at least.

It was the best I could do.

I stood up, pulling her with me, and asked, "What do you want for dinner?"

"Pancakes!"

I chuckled, "Alright, but only because I love you."

I wuv you too!" she said, clapping her hands and jumping around the kitchen.

My life wasn't perfect, but it was amazing nonetheless.

* * *

**August, same year, DPOV**

Anniversaries were an interesting occasion in this house.

Today symbolized the fact that I only had two years left in this arranged marriage.

Though excited as I might be at the prospect of divorcing Astoria, our relationship had gotten better - well better than it was for those first eight months.

Though she still shagged other men, she didn't do it around here anymore, which was something to count my lucky stars for.

We were civil, sometimes we even joked around, and I found that she wasn't _as_ horrible as she'd first been. She could hold a conversation, and on rare occasions she even managed to get me to forget about Hermione, if only for a few minutes.

That first lunch had been awkward. We'd discussed all the necessary things that needed to be said in order for us to move forward.

The fact that I didn't love her - and wouldn't - and the fact that she would continue her business with other men, but not how she had been doing it.

As painless as that may seem, it took us forever to get to that exact point.

Now that we had, though, things weren't as horrible as I thought they'd be. They still sucked, because she wasn't Hermione, but still.

I'd take what I could get.

"Have you seen my earrings?"

I glanced up from the mirror I'd been staring at and shrugged, "I have no idea where you keep your jewelry."

She sighed and adjusted the straps on the black cocktail dress she was wearing for dinner.

We did things like this often - went out to appease the people. Holidays were spent in front of the camera, showing off how _happy_ we were, anniversaries were spent at extravagant places, feigning _love_ over some expensive foreign dish - anything and _everything_ to convince people we were happy.

And apparently it'd been working for the past three years.

We were young, or so the papers kept reminding us, and it was amazing that two twenty one year olds could maintain such a healthy relationship.

The thought alone made me laugh. There was nothing _healthy_ about this relationship, and we definitely acted our age.

Drinking, going out, partying, sleeping around - however we could occupy the time best.

I'd slept with five girls in the past three years, and all of them had been when I was drunk off my _arse._

I wouldn't have done it, but the _fucking dreams_ I was having made it bloody _impossible_ not to want to screw some witch - _any witch_ \- just to get the images of Hermione writhing underneath me in -

_Fuck._

I took a breath and focused on my reflection again, straightening my tie for the hundredth time.

"Alright, I'm ready."

I grabbed my coat and then took her arm, apparating to the restaurant in the middle of Hogsmeade.

As we'd expected, photographers were there already. We'd tipped them off to the location earlier, so we were prepared for the barrage of pictures and flash bulbs that went off.

My arm was securely around her waist, and she leaned forward and pressed a kiss to my cheek - which of course caused more camera flashes - before we walked into the restaurant.

This was my life.

It wasn't that it was completely horrendous, but I didn't exactly favor my time with Astoria in all these lavish places - though I did love lavish places - I would have rather been there with a different witch.

"Could you, for _one damn night_ not look at me like you wish I was her?" she asked over the rim of her wine glass, glaring at me.

I sighed. We didn't usually fight about my "mystery woman", but the closer we got to our five years being up, the more she'd bring it up.

Which I didn't exactly appreciate, because being reminded of Hermione wasn't exactly a painless experience.

"No," I said simply, picking at the food on my plate.

"Why not?" she snapped

"Because there isn't a night that I don't wish you were her." I said softly, staring over her shoulder at the reporters in the window.

I looked over at her when I realized she hadn't responded, and her eyes looked glassy.

Was she crying?

_Why?_

"Astoria,"

She looked at me and blinked a few times before she responded, "I just...I wish...I wish things were different."

I raised an eyebrow, "What are you talking about?"

She let out a sigh and said, "I wish you were willing to try this with me - for real - not this fake bullshit we're doing."

I shook my head, "I told you I can't. We talked about this."

_Extensively._

We'd gone over this _countless_ times. I'd told her that just because we were being civil didn't mean I wanted anything further with her. She'd continued shagging her men and I thought the issue had been resolved.

But apparently not, because for fucks sake, the bint looked _hurt_ for some ridiculous reason.

"I thought if I gave you time -"

"Astoria, please stop." I said, too tired to fight with her in this restaurant on our fucking anniversary that didn't mean a fucking thing to either one of us.

"No, I thought that you would realize that I cared about -"

"Because you fucking everything that moved really gave me that impression -" I stopped myself and took a deep breath. None of that really mattered. "Astoria, I don't love you. I _can't_ love you. I made that perfectly clear."

She didn't say anything, just sipped on her wine some more.

We ate in silence for the rest of the meal, and when we left she barely managed to convincingly cling to my arm - unbeknownst to the photographers, she was digging her nails into my arm hard enough to draw blood, and as soon as we apparated back to the house I pushed her away from me.

"Are you fucking _insane_?" I snapped, rubbing the spot where four crescent shaped marks marred my skin.

"I hate you, you know that?"

I snorted, "I'm sorry if I gave you the impression that I gave a fuck."

She glared at me, and if looks could kill I would've been dead, but since they couldn't she simply said, "I'm glad your little mystery girl is avoiding you. You deserve it, you arrogant bastard."

I sat down on the couch, ignoring her retreating form, and called a bottle of Fire Whiskey to myself.

Arrogant bastard? That was the best she could come up with?

 _Ha._ I'd heard far worse from Hermione, on more than one occasion.

I couldn't be forced to care, at that point, and I hoped that I drank myself into oblivion. I hoped I would drink myself stupid enough to dream of Hermione and actually believe that everything was okay again.

* * *

**Halloween, Rosie age 4, HPOV**

"Well aren't you just a pretty little princess!"

Rosie clapped her hands and beamed up at Ron, who had stopped by to walk with us.

We were meeting Harry, Ginny, James, Albus, and baby Lily at a coffee shop down the street to go trick-or-treating.

"Mummy magic-ed it for me!"

Ron chuckled and lifted her up while I grabbed her coat, and mine, and we headed outside.

"Well you look great."

She kissed his cheek and said, "Thank you Uncle Ron."

As soon as she saw James she wiggled out of Ron's arms and ran towards him, the two of them discussing candy and other things four years olds talked about.

"Well don't you just look adorable." I said, giving little Lily a kiss.

She smiled and grabbed my hair, before Harry detangled her hand with an apologetic smile.

"What is it with babies and your hair, Mione?"

I rolled my eyes at Harry and said "Who knows?"

"Come on, let's get a picture!" said Ginny.

Ever since Lily had been born she'd been taking pictures of _everything._ She said she didn't want to miss a thing.

Not that I could blame her. I did the same thing with Rosie.

We still took pictures, but not as many. The scrapbook was already filled to the brim.

Rosie and I had looked at some of her baby pictures and she'd clapped and cooed at herself - in a typical Draco fashion - and it had made me laugh.

Not cry, _laugh._ I was finally starting to put my life back together, and I'd even been out on a few dates - none of them were all that interesting, but I had fun and that's all that mattered.

That's not to say that I still didn't cry on certain occasions. On certain nights when my bed was so _unbearably empty_ and I could hardly force myself to breathe through the sudden onslaught of pain. On certain nights where Rose would do something _so Draco_ and it killed a little part of me. On certain nights when being alone was just too much to deal with.

I thought I would lose it when Rose asked me who her daddy was. The conversation had come up because Angela and George had two children and their eldest, Fred, had asked her who her father was.

I'd known the day would come, but I had hoped it would've been a little later.

_"Mummy, why does Fred and Roxanne and Lily and James and Albus have daddies, but I don't?"_

_I sighed, running a hand through my hair, trying to think of a four year old friendly way to say this._

_"Well," I said, shifting her onto my lap, "Your mummy and daddy had a complicated relationship back in school."_

_"Complicated?"_

_I nodded, "Things just didn't work out, but...but I know he'd love you very much if he were here."_

_I didn't know if that was true, but the way her face lit up let me know that my lie had been worth it._

_"Do you think you and daddy will ever fix it?"_

_My eyes widened for a moment before I composed myself, "No, sweetheart, I don't think we will. But you've got lots of people who -"_

_"But they're not my daddy!" she pouted._

_I sighed, "But they love you, and they would do anything for you, just like daddies do."_

_She seemed to switch gears out of nowhere, and asked, "So is this daddy's hair?"_

_I nodded._

_"And daddy's eyes?"_

_I nodded again._

_She snuggled closer to me and I thought that I should have been crying at the mere thought of Rosie missing her father's presence in her life - but I wasn't._

_I was okay - as okay as I was these days anyway._

_"Does daddy hate me?"_

_"What? No! Of course not. Don't ever think that." I said, shifting her so I could look down at her._

_"But he's never here. James sees Harry every day."_

_"If there was any possible way he could be here, he would be." I said, brushing her curls out of her face and casting a silent calming charm._

_I didn't know how I was supposed to explain this to her. It was literally impossible at her age._

_So I didn't. Instead we just sat on the couch until she fell asleep._

Seeing Astoria and Draco in the papers was quite the regular thing, and they always looked bright and beaming on positively _gleeful_ every single bloody time.

I didn't see much of them anymore, because I avoided Hogsmeade like the plague, and the only time I set _foot_ in the wizarding word was to go to work, so I didn't read _The Daily Prophet_ as often - which was probably better for my sanity anyway.

Even though certain things were getting easier, other things weren't, and I guess that was just something I was going to have to work on.

Seems like I had the rest of my life to figure it out, though.

* * *

**End of December, DPOV**

_I ran my hand over her sides, relishing the way she looked above me, before pulling her lips back to mine._

_She groaned into my mouth and the sound went straight south._

_I ran my hands up and down her back as she moved her hips over me, the only thing separating us was our underwear - my green silk boxers, her red lace thong._

_I slid one hand up to tease her nipples and the other down to her soaked panties, lightly stroking her clit through the fabric._

_"Oh Merlin, Draco." she moaned, her teeth nipping at my neck._

_I pushed her back so that I was hovering over her and slowly slid her panties down her legs before tossing them behind me and moving between her legs._

_She was positively_ dripping. _  
_

_I slowly lapped at her folds, and she moaned above me, her hands tangling into my hair and tugging._

_I turned my attention to her clit, sucking it into my mouth and sliding a finger into her tight pussy, and before I knew it she was coming undone._

_I crawled back up her body, placing light kisses along her skin, before capturing her lips in a kiss._

_She wrapped her legs around my waist and I didn't need her to tell me what she wanted, I already knew._

_I slowly slid into her, relishing in the feel of being surrounded by her heat, before I started moving, keeping the same slow pace._

_In the back of my mind I knew this wasn't real, but I wasn't willing to acknowledge that yet._

_I focused, instead, on her breathy moans in my ear, and her nails on my back._

_"Oh Merlin, Draco. Don't stop, don't ever stop."_

_I groaned and began pumping in and out of her faster._

_"Draco, I'm about to -"_

"Well fuck me." I groaned, kicking the covers off myself as I contemplated if it was worth it or not to go take a cold shower.

After a few minutes of trying to fall asleep with the worst hard on I'd had in a while, I shoved myself out of bed and walked into the bathroom.

_Fuck me._

Hermione Granger was _still_ in my head.

Not that I expected her to leave anytime soon.

* * *

**Last Day Of July, Year Five, DPOV**

I was fucking _ecstatic._

Tomorrow would end the five year marriage contract, and now, at age twenty-four, I was more than fucking ready to live my life.

Blaise had just gotten back from another trip, so we were at a pub celebrating my almost-freedom.

"So have you told Lucius?"

"Are you mental? Of course not." I said, taking a long chug from my Fire Whiskey.

Blaise chuckled and said, "That's probably for the best."

I nodded, scanning the Three Broomsticks for the rare chance that Hermione would be here - she wasn't, of course.

"So what are you going to do?" he asked after a few minutes.

I shrugged. I hadn't exactly thought of that.

Astoria and I hadn't been speaking for the past month, so I'd moved back into the Manor, at least for now, but I was sure to get kicked out when he realized what I'd done.

My mother normally would've been the one to calm him, but since she still wasn't back from her _five year vacation_ I would just have to deal with my father on my own.

I wasn't worried, though, because I owed him absolutely nothing anymore. I wondered if I'd ever owed him anything in the first place.

Five years had given me a lot to think back and reflect on, and I could see a thousand things I should have done differently - a thousand opportunities to make things right.

I had been an idiot back then - an idiot for marrying Astoria and an even bigger idiot for _staying_ married to her when I so obviously loved Hermione.

 _Five fucking years_ and that hadn't changed. I loved her. Still.

I didn't think that'd ever change.

"I'm not sure yet." I said, finally answering his question.

He chuckled, "Going to go pay your mystery girl a visit?"

"I hope so." I said quietly.

Luckily he didn't comment on it. Whether he didn't hear it or he just knew me well enough to know I didn't want to talk about it - I didn't know, but it didn't matter.

"So how do you think Astoria's going to react?"

I laughed, "She's not speaking to me right now, so I'm not exactly sure how me showing up with divorce papers is going to go."

Blaise chuckled and said, "Well I'm glad you're about to be a free man again."

"Me too, mate. Me. Fucking. Too."

~OoOoOoOoOoOoO~

"Sign these."

I dropped the divorce papers in front of her, tossing a pen on top for good measure.

She had been sitting at the kitchen table when I'd apparated in, and she'd proceeded to ignore me studiously.

"Astoria, sign the fucking papers."

She shrugged, picked up the pen, signed her name seven times, and slid the stack over to me.

"Is that all?" she asked, her voice devoid of any real emotion - which didn't surprise me in the least.

For all her talk, Astoria didn't really give a damn either way - and for that I was thankful. I didn't want to have to fight her over the damn divorce.

"You didn't read it."

"Why would I? They're divorce papers right?" she asked, staring up at me, a bored expression on her face.

"I left you the house, and everything in it." I said, picking up the papers and heading for the door.

"Why?" she called, still seated at the table.

"I don't want the reminder." I said simply, before stepping outside to bring the papers to my lawyer so he could have everything finalized and I would officially be a single man again in less than three hours.

~OoOoOoOoOoOoO~

After I'd gotten the papers finalized, and was _officially_ single, I made my way to the Manor. I had one last thing to do before I could fix this giant fucking mess I'd created.

I wasn't worried about facing my father. I was pretty sure I knew everything he would say, and I honestly couldn't care less what he thought.

The only thought in my head was Hermione, and how the fuck I was going to fix this.

Hell, I didn't even know where she lived - except that it wasn't in the wizarding world.

Which didn't narrow down my options too much.

Though I knew she had to be close since Potter and Weasley were Aurors and she worked at Buxom and Brant.

I ran a hand through my hair, a hundred scenarios about what could happen running through my head.

I just wanted her back, and no matter what I had to do, where I had to go - I didn't care.

This apology was five years too late, but I hoped - by Salazar I hoped - that she'd somehow be able to forgive me for what a fucking idiot I'd been.

I was different now. I'd grown up. I'd had five years to let myself wallow in self pity - and I was done. It was no ones fault but my own that I was in this mess, so it'd be up to me to fix it.

And I would. I _had to_.

Because I loved her, and I hoped that she still loved me too.


End file.
